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  1. “Mr Hollander, you and Ilya Rozanov have been photographed coming out of multiple hotels late at night. Can you explain that?”

    Shane panics. He can’t give the real answer, that they meet up every few months because he’s an undead monster and Rozanov happens to have delicious blood.

    “Um. We were… well. Gay sex! We were having gay sex!”

    Or: Shane Hollander isn’t in denial about being gay. He is in denial about being a vampire.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,209
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #95543206
  2. After tuna melts and their first night actually sleeping together, Ilya asks Shane for more. Shane agrees, not knowing that this was Ilya's way of asking him out.

    Comination of written fic and texting fic.

    The text scrolls!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    66,463
    Chapters:
    16/16
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #85080836
  3. Shane Hollander, captain of the Montreal Metros, three-time MLH Cup winner, is going out of his mind answering emails for hours every day to maintain Shane Hollander, the brand. He reaches his boiling point and hires a Personal Assistant. Enter Ilya Rozanov.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    146,891
    Chapters:
    23/23
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #88289861
  4. Exhausted and annoyed with his teammates' nagging, Shane Hollander makes the stupidest, most childish decision of his adult life. He makes up a fake girlfriend.
    Her name is Lily (after his neighbour's cat); she is from Boston (so no one asks too many questions). To make the lie somehow believable, he saves and texts a random number, accidentally starting a conversation that might just change his life.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,806
    Chapters:
    1/10
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #95485841
  5. Ilya and Shane decide to do an anonymous group chat for queer hockey players.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    55,105
    Chapters:
    101/?
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #82093131
  6. Text/soc media
    Rose Landry breaks up with Shane Hollander after coaxing him into telling her he's gay... then she keeps her promise to stay friends.

    Rose: hey it’s been 24 hours
    Rose: in case you thought i was just being nice about the texting, i meant it
    Rose: just because i never met your mother doesn’t mean i won’t call her to check on you
    Rose: Shane seriously you don’t have to talk to me if you don’t want to
    Rose: but i need to know you’re okay
    ___

    Shane: We always met at hotels.
    Shane: Or I have a condo in Montreal for us to meet up at.
    Rose: did you buy a condo to have sex??
    Rose: wtf is wrong with you?
    Rose: (affectionate)
    Shane: I couldn’t risk anyone seeing him at my actual house??
    Shane: Rose please tell me you don’t bring all your hookups to your real house.
    Shane: You’re way too famous to be doing that.
    Rose: okay fair enough
    Rose: it’s not like i’m hooking up all the time you know
    Rose: sex condo is insane
    Rose: i hope you know that
    ___

    Rose: Lily?
    Rose: who is Lily?
    Rose: Shane i thought we agreed you weren’t going to date anymore girls
    Rose: also another flower name, really??

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,414
    Chapters:
    16/?
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #90029726
  7. Shane H-R

    He wouldn’t be able to fuck you in the waders?

    They fasten over the shoulder, right?

    And I assume to stay watertight there’s no fly situation?


    Cassie B

    Captain Harlot over here thinking about wader sex logistics


    Ilya H-R

    Sweetheart, should I get waders?

    Another WAG chat, another Valentine's Day - but this time, both husbands are in the group.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,620
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    2 versions
    AO3:
    #95287146
  8. Hunter reaches out his free hand on the TV as he swirls around to face the guy, cupping it around the outside of the guy’s jean jacket shoulder. It’s so not-bros that the sight of it makes Hayden’s breath catch. He reaches out his own hand and puts it on Jackie’s thigh, clutching.

    “Guys! Shut up! Look!”

    Finally, they’re listening. The chatter ceases just in time for Scott Hunter— Scott Motherfucking Hunter— to lean in and. Well. Right there on the big screen, Scott Hunter kisses a man on the ice.

    Hayden squeezes Jackie’s thigh even harder, letting out a breathless little laugh. Holy shit, he thinks, which is a fair reaction. It’s immediately followed by a less rational, Oh thank fuck, Shane doesn’t have to be the first, then.

    OR: In the wake of Scott Hunter kissing his boyfriend on the ice, Hayden Pike reaches out to say congratulations... and to ask for some advice on supporting his unnamed not-straight friend.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,091
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #80249591
  9. Ilya wakes up in the early afternoon, in his underwear, with a dry mouth, a crick in his neck, and loud, incessant banging. It takes him longer than he is proud to admit to realize that it’s coming from his front door. He gets up and immediately regrets it. His living room is a mess and the light coming in from the window makes him wince. He does not want to clean today. What he had wanted was a rare, quiet night. Maybe text Hollander to rile him up after his loss the day before. Instead, Marly insisted on coming home with him after his girlfriend dumped him, so he could drown his sorrows. He remembers making some questionable choices after that, and if the state of the house is any indication, he is right.

    Oh, that fucker. What did he forget here?

    “Marly, you fucking asshole, I swear if you don’t stop—” Fuck. His head. How much did he drink last night? “Couldn’t you wait until practice tomorrow to get—” He opens the door. A small child is looking up at him.

    Or: The day before the Tuna Melt Ilya Rozanov finds a child at his door.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    56,891
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #89995016
  10. SHANE: Lily.
    LILY: Hello
    SHANE: Dead to me.
    What the actual fuck?
    LILY: ??
    SHANE: what. The. Hell. Did. You. Do.
    LILY: ahh
    I am in trouble
    Yes?

     
    Or Ilya's teammates add "Jane" to the Boston WAG group chat in the height of their "no, we aren't falling in love, whatever do you mean" era (2014-2016-ish?).

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    72,113
    Chapters:
    31/?
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #81424231
  11. Ilya Rozanov bares his soul to Shane Hollander, while crouched in a tunnel in Moscow after he buries his father. Words spoken knowing the person on the other end can't possibly understand them.

    Little does he know there is someone listening who can.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    46,764
    Chapters:
    11/13
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #91004886
  12. Mere minutes after the Montreal Voyageurs announce their captain, and most adored man in all of Canada, is being benched, local group chats have lit up brighter than an unregulated aftermarket headlight on a lifted truck. Will homophobia be defeated by the only thing more powerful in the world of sports; alcoholic uncles who totally could've gone pro if they didn't pull a muscle right before the scouts showed up for Juniors?

    Or

    The city of Montreal riots over Shane Hollander being benched after the FanMail leak.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,596
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #94964876
  13. Harris: So, you know that cooking video I had Troy and Shane make?

    Ilya: Yes?

    Harris: It's genuinely one of the most painful things I've ever seen on camera.

    Harris: Like I've seen horror movies that made me feel more at ease than this.

    Ilya: Were you expecting anything less?

    Ilya: They are the biggest disasters we know.

    Ilya: **Affectionate**

    Harris: I mean, I guess I was just hoping it'd be super cute, you know?

    Harris: Two buff gay elite jocks cooking chicken parm? You can't go wrong, right?

    Ilya: Except when your two buff gay elite jocks cooking chicken parmesan are Shane 'small talk is a disease' Hollander and Troy 'awkward is a lifestyle' Barrett.

    Harris: Yeah, I should have known.

    Harris: This is what I get for being an optimist.

    Harris: And a greedy gay man who wants to edit videos of hot men cooking good food.

    Harris: Want to do a voice over for me so maybe I can salvage this?

    Ilya: Of course.

    Ilya: Any parameters?

    Harris: Oh, you know. Just don't embarrass me too much.

    Ilya: Send it to me and I will get it done ❤️

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,979
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #94228516
  14. Scott Hunter is out. Surely this means it's safe for other players to come out now too, right?

    or: finding community in a group of gay hockey players who have all hooked up with the same person, continued. (a sequel to just his type)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,296
    Chapters:
    3/4
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #89899196
  15. The Hollander-Rozanov family visit Japan.

    Surely the media will be normal and let them enjoy their vacation, right?

    ---

    Told through a series of group chats, Twitter threads, tabloid articles, and more

    ---

    A spin-off from the first work in this series but can be read as a standalone.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,668
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #94572926
  16. Shane thought things would be okay with the team, but it turns out being gay is somehow the worst thing to exist in the locker room. Between the silence from his teammates and seeing how supportive Ilya's team is, how can he move forward from here?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,688
    Chapters:
    13/?
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #83055171
  17. Emmy: When did you first hook up with him?
    Jane: 2010
    Caro: WHAT
    Megan: GIRL
    Tia: SEVEN YEARS??
    Megan: My jaw is borderline unhinged rn

    Or: In 2017, Shane finds a place where he can talk about his sex life...a group chat for girls who have slept with Ilya Rozanov

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    33,991
    Chapters:
    11/13
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #81234151
  18. Scott Hunter is added to a group chat after coming out. It's not like anything he expected.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,295
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #79961496
  19. Ilya Rozanov is so excited about his new beautiful pup Anya! Except Ilya is blinded by his excitement. Anya is a bit weird looking, okay maybe she's kinda scary looking. Shane adjusts to life with a new dog and makes it his mission to protect Ilya from the truth about Anya.

    Excerpt:

    Unknown Number:

    Please you have to take her back, I can't sleep with her creepy humanlike eyes staring at me.

    [Close up image of a dog's face]

    She looks like one of the puppets from The Labyrinth. I had night terrors about that movie as a kid.

    Harris:

    Who is this? Why do you have Anya?

    Unknown Number:

    Seriously name your price, lie to Ilya and tell him you found her old family and take her away please🙏

    Harris:

    I don't know who you are but I'm calling Rozanov and maybe the police. This is creepy. Who are you???

    Unknown Number:

    This is Jane. Ilya's partner. Please. I'm desperate. I wouldn’t have reached out otherwise.

    Harris
    AS IN MONTREAL JANE??? ROZ'S MYSTERY GIRL!!

    I have soooo many questions for you!!!!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    41,006
    Chapters:
    15/15
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #91799521
  20. It was a Friday when the video dropped.

    “What is happening?” He asked St Simon, who was holding his phone tight to his chest, his expression odd. “Someone has died?” 

    Across the room he could see Marlow moving slowly upright from where he had been doing floor stretches, his phone in his hand as well, his face pinched. 

    “It’s Hollander,” St Simon said. 

    The bottom of Ilya’s stomach fell out, closely followed by the rest of Ilya’s organs. His chest hurt so acutely that he thought he must be having a heart attack. 

    “Not dead,” St Simon added quickly, reaching out to grab Ilya’s shoulder when Ilya’s knees actually buckled. “Jesus, sorry. I should have - no it’s just -” 

    “Someone tell me what the fuck is going on,” Ilya snapped, “and everyone else shut up.” 

    Marlow reached him now, held his phone out to Ilya, open already to an article with a headline huge enough Ilya could easily make out the HOLLANDER blaring out of it even before his eyes focused and he took the phone from Marlow. 

    A video is posted online, for Shane it feels like a death sentence. For some parts of him, it is.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    73,245
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #88103846
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