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  1. [A professional team photo of Ilya Rozanov smiling against a marbled gray backdrop.]

    @centaurshockey Join us starting tomorrow as our beloved Captain takes over social media for a few days! It's going to be fine (we hope) ❤️

    Posted October 17th at 3:12 PM

    ❤️ 55,025 💬 543

    ***
    @ivyholly41
    Oh, I can't WAIT for this

    @livelaughcens I don't think I've ever been more sat.

    @captainclapper oh my god. how much hot hollanov content do you think we're going to get this week?

    @ilyarozanov81 @captainclapper ♾️

    @b00dramzane @harrisdrover1995 how much are you going to regret this?

    @harrisdrover1995 @b00dramzane ♾️


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  2. Eric Bennett loved him, all day, every day, and he showed it in a million tiny ways.

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  3. It makes sense that he's been ensnared by the perfection of the Hollander-Rozanov's. They're a dream both on and off the ice; of course, it's completely, unfortunately, understandable that he's always sort of losing his mind around them, and having brief moments of insanity where instead of listening to them talk, he's besieged by imagining them ruining his life.

    It's just one of those things he slowly has to work through; figuring out how to manage the seething heat of arousal, the glittering hunger that sits in his chest, the sly looks he would, and probably will still, steal, all under the banner of drawing inspiration, if anyone were to ask.

    Which, thank god, no one has.

    OR: Luca knows that this secret of his is going to be his downfall. One day he's going to call Ilya Rozanov Daddy, and he's never going to be the same.

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  4. Harris: So, you know that cooking video I had Troy and Shane make?

    Ilya: Yes?

    Harris: It's genuinely one of the most painful things I've ever seen on camera.

    Harris: Like I've seen horror movies that made me feel more at ease than this.

    Ilya: Were you expecting anything less?

    Ilya: They are the biggest disasters we know.

    Ilya: **Affectionate**

    Harris: I mean, I guess I was just hoping it'd be super cute, you know?

    Harris: Two buff gay elite jocks cooking chicken parm? You can't go wrong, right?

    Ilya: Except when your two buff gay elite jocks cooking chicken parmesan are Shane 'small talk is a disease' Hollander and Troy 'awkward is a lifestyle' Barrett.

    Harris: Yeah, I should have known.

    Harris: This is what I get for being an optimist.

    Harris: And a greedy gay man who wants to edit videos of hot men cooking good food.

    Harris: Want to do a voice over for me so maybe I can salvage this?

    Ilya: Of course.

    Ilya: Any parameters?

    Harris: Oh, you know. Just don't embarrass me too much.

    Ilya: Send it to me and I will get it done ❤️

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  5. At some point between getting home and finding the mess in the kitchen, Shane calls the police and his parents in quick succession.

    He doesn’t remember those phone calls at all. Blocked them from his memory the second they were over—doesn’t know what he said, what his mother replied—what the operator on the other end of the line asked him.

    The only proof he has of ever placing the calls is the record of them in his phone—neatly stacked over-on-another. 911 right below Mom.

    Below that, a series of phone calls to Ilya (husband), some barely even twenty seconds long, just short little I love you’s and what juice did you say you wanted from the store’s. Shane actually has to scroll for a while before he finds any other number in his call log. 

    If Shane were to add all of that data into an excel sheet he’d have proof that Ilya took up about 90% of his call records and yet it doesn’t feel like enough.


    or the Hollywood amnesia + presumed dead fic nobody asked for

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  6. "It's not always gay to kiss your friends," Shane mutters, sniffing pointedly. "Some people do it all the time."

    The room stills, before everyone's attention swivels to Shane who freezes under their stares. He arches an unimpressed brow at them all, pointedly avoiding Ilya's gaze, before he goes back to placidly studying the board, the corner of his mouth twitching.

    "Who are you not gay kissing?" Ilya demands. "Rose doesn't count."

    "Obviously, Rose doesn't count," Shane says, rolling his eyes. "Wouldn't that be straight?"

    "Yes," Ilya says, impatiently. "And you are very gay, so who is it you are kissing that you have to specify it's not gay? Is is Pike? Boiziau?" He casts a wild glance around the room. "Please tell me it is not my precious Boody. He is handsome, yes, but it will break my heart if he did not kiss me to find out that he is a little gay."

    OR: Wyatt Hayes loves games, his team, and the spirit of love.

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  7. [The Ottawa Centaurs are scattered around their locker room after practice in various states of undress. The camera walks up to Coach Brandon Wiebe, a hand extending with a cup that holds multiple pieces of paper. Wiebe smiles at the camera and reaches in to pull out a slip, he looks at it, and then reads.]

    Wiebe: Shake the hand of the player that is the baby of the team.

    [Wiebe's smiles grows, his eyes traveling across the room as he begins to walk toward Luca Haas. He holds out his hand and Luca's already flushed face grows even more read as he reluctantly shakes his coach's hand back.]

    Luca: Seriously, Coach? Not you, too. I'm almost twenty two for fuck's sake.

    [Next to Luca, Zane Boodram grins and pats Luca on the back and Ilya Rozanov calls from nearby.]

    Ilya: You are not old enough to say fuck until you can explain what it means!

    Wiebe: You might be the baby of the family, but that doesn't mean you're not great at what you do. You score lots of goals and you remind Ilya that he's supposed to act like an adult at least occasionally.

    Shane: Trust me, that's a very important job.

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  8. Shane and Ilya have done everything right, with years of waiting, planning, and hoping. After too many almosts and not-quites, they go to one more adoption event with no expectations. But one quiet conversation—and one perfect baby—turn “maybe” into something a lot more dangerous: hope. And hope, it turns out, has a way of asking for more than they expected. (AKA: hurt/comfort, so much yearning, accidental family, angst with a payoff, and yes—a hard-won happy ending)

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  9. For nine years, Wilner Joseph drove the enemy to his hero's front door.

    The back door. It was the back door for a long time.

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  10. [Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov sit in director's chairs in the Ottawa Centaurs locker room. Across from them in similar style chairs sits Zane Boodram, Wyatt Hayes, Luca Haas and Troy Barrett. There's a white board behind them that reads 'Shane or Anya' in bold block letters. Generic game show music plays in the background.]

    Ilya: Hi, I'm Ilya Rozanov.

    Shane: And I'm Shane Hollander.

    Ilya: And why are we here today, Shane?

    Shane: Because Harris is really quick to bring up our contractual obligation?

    Ilya: And?

    [Ilya gestures to their four teammates and the board behind them.]

    Shane: Oh, uh, I guess we're here to play a game or whatever.

    Ilya: Which game is that?

    Shane: You could just tell them, you know.

    Ilya: Yes, but that wouldn't annoy you.

    Shane: Our friends are here to guess whether a disgustingly sweet statement you made is about me or our dog.

    [An image of Anya, a medium sized brown and white dog wearing a strawberry patterned dog coat with bright pink dog boots on her feet flashes on the screen.]

    Ilya: And will this be an easy game, Shane?

    Shane: You'd think so, but no. No, I don't think it will be.

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  11. "Shane," Ilya says slowly. "Are you aware you are holding a cat?"

    Shane has the decency to look slightly sheepish, as Ilya steps forward, the kitten peering at him with large green eyes while he reaches out a hesitant hand to lightly brush his finger against the cat's nose.

    "Um, so a funny thing happened," Shane begins, and Ilya knows he's about to launch into a lengthy explanation. "We were out for our jog, and this kitten started running with us, so Anya just gently picked it up by the scruff of its neck and started carrying it, and I couldn't just leave it, you know? And when I took it from Anya it just curled up in my jacket like it knew it was safe, and I know this is kind of impulsive and our lives are crazy, but…" he finally stops and takes a deep breath, his gaze locking with Ilya's. "I think I want to keep this cat."

    Anya wags her tail and barks, and Ilya looks from Shane's endless dark brown eyes down to the striking green ones that close as the kitten yawns so widely Ilya can see all of its tiny baby teeth. It's too cute. He's a goner. 'Fuck', he thinks, 'I'm totally screwed' and then promptly sneezes.

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  12. fay | in my rozanov era @rideordieacentaur
    Holy fucking shit, they’re getting married???? #hollanov
    |
    mai @hockeyboyfriends2481
    Wait what? 😲

     
    Or: It’s the summer of 2021. The hockey world is still reeling from Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov being in a relationship, and the Ottawa Centaurs keep breaking the internet.

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  13. "Shane," Ilya interrupts, knowing that if he lets Shane go on much longer, he really will be on the next flight back. And as tempting as it is, he really likes all the free shit Shane gets to bring home and he's in desperate need of a new watch after the last barbecue at Bood's went slightly awry. "I'm fine, I just have lice."

    There's a long pause, and though Ilya can't see Shane's face, he can imagine the exact look that's there. Forehead wrinkled, lips set in a thin line, his eyes moving slowly around the room as he tries to figure something out. "You're going to have to expand on that, I think."

    "Turns out the sleepover I hosted for the Pikes had more than a few uninvited guests," Ilya offers and he hears Shane exhale in relief at the explanation, making a mental note to ask when he gets home exactly what other scenarios were playing out in Shane's overactive brain.

    "I bet Hayden and Jackie feel awful."

    Ilya has about twenty apology texts from Jackie he knows he needs to respond to. "Yes, they do."

    "You're going to make Hayden suffer for this, aren't you?"

    He grins, loving how well Shane knows him without even a hint as to what Ilya has planned. "Yes, I am."

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  14. “Lyubimiy, do you want me to push the seat ba—?” “JUST FUCKING DRIVE, ILYA!” Shane shouted, effectively cutting him off with a roar as he fumbled for the handle along the Cherokees’ ceiling. OR: Babies are unpredictable. Especially those whose other father happens to be one, Ilya Hollander-Rozanov, the king of all wild cards. (And apparently the jack of all trades, midwifery now included.) Thank god Jeeps are made to Do Anything ®. +Now with art! (and an announcement)

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  15. There is something from an Ottawa Centaurs email, titled 'conversation.'

    For a moment, he strongly considers deleting it. Shane no longer owes a single part of the MLH a damn thing, nor does he expect anything from it. His exit from the league is -- well. People aren't motivated to bring it up.

    The sender is listed as Wiebe, B.

    Shane clicks on the message.

    Ten years ago Shane lost everything but Ilya. He has to decide what, if anything, he wants back.

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  16. Hazy: Okay, I just talked with Harris.

    Hazy: Ugly pants exchange for the next away game is a go.

    Shane: Didn't we just do this?

    Shane: Are we really going to subject ourselves to this again?

    Bood: Those were shirts, Hollander. 👕

    Bood: These are pants. 👖

    Bood: See the difference?

    Shane: There is not enough difference in the world to make me want to do this again.

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  17. A career in professional sports meant that weekends were rarely free. But hockey games didn't happen that often on a Sunday, and half of them were retired these days anyway. And Eric couldn't think of a better use of anyone's time than spending it with the people they loved.

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  18. [Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov sit in chairs in the Ottawa Centaurs locker room. Behind them several of their teammates, including Luca Haas, Troy Barrett, Zane Boodram, Wyatt Hayes, Evan Dykstra, Nick Chouinard, Tanner Dillon, and several rookies stand behind them. Shane sits with his arms crossed in the chair, looking slightly uncomfortable, while Ilya appears relaxed with his legs spread wide as he smiles at Shane. Harris Drover's voice can be heard behind the camera.]

    Harris: Alright, everyone, I'm going to ask you questions about who is more likely to do something between Shane and Ilya, and then you'll move behind the one you think the statement most matches, and if you think it equally applies, you can stand in the middle. Sound good?

    [There's a chorus of agreement, except for one loud, 'no' from Shane, and Zane playfully ruffles his hair causing Shane to blush, his scowl lightening slightly.]

    Harris: Great! Okay, here's the first question.

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  19. “Were you thinking of also bringing clothes?” Shane asked, glancing into Ilya’s suitcase.

    “Do you think we will need them?”

    “I’m just saying you might want the option of going outside,” Shane said, dropping a kiss on Ilya’s shoulder and wandering into the closet.

    Ilya was obviously going to pack clothing, he just had priorities. Like making sure their whole sex toy collection would fit into his suitcase, not to mention two of the biggest bottles of lube he’d been able to find.

    “Take the batteries out of anything that vibrates,” Shane called. Ilya rolled his eyes. What was he, an amateur? “Do you think I should bring two pairs of walking shoes or is one enough?”

    “How many walking tours are we going on?”

    “I don’t know.”

    “How do you not know? What have you been doing for the past month?”

    “Research! But I didn’t book anything yet in case we decide we want to just sit by the pool for ten days instead.”

     

    Or: Shane and Ilya Go Honeymooning. Set after The Long Game.

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  20. Ilya’s voice dimmed, “Shane, what’s going on? Are you okay?” he sounded eager, but also sounded like that he would wait years if Shane even gave him one word in return. Shane aggressively shook his head, the hum only growing. “I need to-“ No. No, this wasn’t happening. He wouldn’t let this happen. Shane slowly sunk down to the kitchen floor, feeling the nooks in the drawers of the counters scratch against his back while his eyes shut tightly. He wasn’t going to cry. He wasn’t a fucking baby. Shane was strong. And he was strong enough to make this stop. OR: Shane Hollander experiences a meltdown infront of Ilya.

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