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  • Shane Hollander Calls Ilya Rozanov "Baby" ×
  1. Ilya wakes up in the early afternoon, in his underwear, with a dry mouth, a crick in his neck, and loud, incessant banging. It takes him longer than he is proud to admit to realize that it’s coming from his front door. He gets up and immediately regrets it. His living room is a mess and the light coming in from the window makes him wince. He does not want to clean today. What he had wanted was a rare, quiet night. Maybe text Hollander to rile him up after his loss the day before. Instead, Marly insisted on coming home with him after his girlfriend dumped him, so he could drown his sorrows. He remembers making some questionable choices after that, and if the state of the house is any indication, he is right.

    Oh, that fucker. What did he forget here?

    “Marly, you fucking asshole, I swear if you don’t stop—” Fuck. His head. How much did he drink last night? “Couldn’t you wait until practice tomorrow to get—” He opens the door. A small child is looking up at him.

    Or: The day before the Tuna Melt Ilya Rozanov finds a child at his door.

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    AO3:
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  2. Harris: So, you know that cooking video I had Troy and Shane make?

    Ilya: Yes?

    Harris: It's genuinely one of the most painful things I've ever seen on camera.

    Harris: Like I've seen horror movies that made me feel more at ease than this.

    Ilya: Were you expecting anything less?

    Ilya: They are the biggest disasters we know.

    Ilya: **Affectionate**

    Harris: I mean, I guess I was just hoping it'd be super cute, you know?

    Harris: Two buff gay elite jocks cooking chicken parm? You can't go wrong, right?

    Ilya: Except when your two buff gay elite jocks cooking chicken parmesan are Shane 'small talk is a disease' Hollander and Troy 'awkward is a lifestyle' Barrett.

    Harris: Yeah, I should have known.

    Harris: This is what I get for being an optimist.

    Harris: And a greedy gay man who wants to edit videos of hot men cooking good food.

    Harris: Want to do a voice over for me so maybe I can salvage this?

    Ilya: Of course.

    Ilya: Any parameters?

    Harris: Oh, you know. Just don't embarrass me too much.

    Ilya: Send it to me and I will get it done ❤️

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    AO3:
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  3. It’s Ilya who brings it up. He’s in his kitchen, making himself some kind of soup that Shane is already searching for recipes of—it’s called rassolnik. Leaning with one hip against the counter, he asks, “What about your sex dungeon?”

    “I don’t have a sex dungeon,” Shane says, both grossed out and intrigued by the idea.

    “The apartment, moya lyubov,” Ilya replies, fondness sheathed in annoyance. He slurps loudly, laughing when Shane makes a face at him over their video call. “What will you do with the apartment?”

    “Sell it, maybe.”

    --

    Or, Shane doesn't sell the secret-sex-apartment building. He starts renting it out, and somehow ends up with a gaggle of Russian tenants-turned-friends, several stray cats, and one very spoiled hamster.

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    1
    AO3:
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  4. The fight on Boxing Day had been explosive and painful. But they'd decided they would make a new plan. One they could both live with.

    But the more Shane tried to compromise, all the years of resentment and hiding crowded in at once. He spat an ultimatum across the table. Six months. A year at the absolute most. Or they were done.

    “That’s not enough time. A year is… tough, but maybe,” Shane offered carefully. “Eighteen months?”

    Ilya’s temper flared.

    “I do not want to wait another eighteen fucking months!” The words echoed through the room. “I want to be like Hunter! Go on dates with my boyfriend. Talk about him to people. Not always feel like some awful, shameful secret.”

    “You want to talk to people about me?” he asked quietly. His voice sounded so small and fragile and confused. But Ilya was still furious and raw.

    “Well I would,” he sneered, “if there was anything about you that was fucking interesting to talk about! It would be nice to not be so fucking bored and miserable!”

    As the words left his mouth, he knew he'd gone too far.

    ---
    What if the Centaur's plane never malfunctions, so Shane never proposes. Instead, Ilya gives him an ultimatum.

    Language:
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    Chapters:
    20/20
    Files:
    4 versions
    AO3:
    #80606411
  5. spilt milk tears by

    Heated Rivalry (TV)
    • E
    • ✓

    2026-10-12

    Shane closes his eyes and presses the pharmacy bag against his forehead. He has medication, clearance to play, and confirmation that the tumor inside his head is benign. In three to seven days, the lactation should stop, and this entire humiliating problem will become something he can pretend never happened.

    Unfortunately, tomorrow afternoon, Ilya Rozanov will be waiting for him at his house. Shane plans to arrive, have sex with him, and return to the hotel before either of them can make the evening more complicated than it needs to be.

    All Shane has to do is prevent the most observant asshole alive from touching his chest. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy, a voice in his head replies, sounding disturbingly like the one Hayden uses for his kids. Shane groans out loud and goes to find something to eat so he can take his first dose of medicine.

    or, Shane, an alpha, is leaking milk. Instead of talking about this, Hollanov deal with it in their own, special way.

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    AO3:
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  6. “You dropped out of college!” Svetlana repeated as she threw her hands up. “You had two semesters left in Boston! You were top of your program! You talked about moving to New York, opening your own firm, taking over the world—and now your big life ambition is sitting on a plush couch in the Canadian tundra waiting for Mr. Real Estate to finish his stock trades?”

    Ilya laid his fork down with a deliberate clink against the ceramic plate. He rested his elbows on the table, leaning forward, his blue eyes sharp and terrifyingly clear.

    “Sveta,” he began, his tone dropping into that familiar, authority. “In Boston, I woke up at six every morning to run in the freezing rain. I spent eight hours in lectures surrounded by rich idiots who thought they were geniuses because their dads bought a building. I spent four hours every night memorizing financial models I already knew how to build in my sleep, just so some eighty-year-old professor could give me a checkmark on a piece of paper. The point is, why would I fight the world when I can just enjoy the simple pleasures of life? I spent my whole life surviving. Shanya gave me a place where I don’t have to.”

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    13/13
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    1
    AO3:
    #94085611
  7. Ilya Rozanov is so excited about his new beautiful pup Anya! Except Ilya is blinded by his excitement. Anya is a bit weird looking, okay maybe she's kinda scary looking. Shane adjusts to life with a new dog and makes it his mission to protect Ilya from the truth about Anya.

    Excerpt:

    Unknown Number:

    Please you have to take her back, I can't sleep with her creepy humanlike eyes staring at me.

    [Close up image of a dog's face]

    She looks like one of the puppets from The Labyrinth. I had night terrors about that movie as a kid.

    Harris:

    Who is this? Why do you have Anya?

    Unknown Number:

    Seriously name your price, lie to Ilya and tell him you found her old family and take her away please🙏

    Harris:

    I don't know who you are but I'm calling Rozanov and maybe the police. This is creepy. Who are you???

    Unknown Number:

    This is Jane. Ilya's partner. Please. I'm desperate. I wouldn’t have reached out otherwise.

    Harris
    AS IN MONTREAL JANE??? ROZ'S MYSTERY GIRL!!

    I have soooo many questions for you!!!!

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    15/15
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    1
    AO3:
    #91799521
  8. “That was a good one,” Ilya said, stretching his arms above his head. “Fuck, you fucked a cramp into my back.”

    “I fucked a cramp into your back?”

    “Yes,” Ilya said, raising an eyebrow. “What, you are trying to say you are a pillow princess?”

    Shane scoffed. “You’ll never hear me take any of those words in my mouth.”

    Shane, Ilya and a series of conversations in bed.

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    AO3:
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  9. There’s still a big part of him that wants all the same things he used to. The hockey, those other interests, the simplicity of the smaller circle. But there’s a twinge of something else now beside it when he considers it for too long, a bruise he can’t place the origins of. He’d been able to put somewhat of a name to it, after Rose.

    He only wishes he hadn’t filled in the rest of the blanks staring down at a grainy photograph of Svetlana Vetrova in a convenience store parking lot in Boston, a bag hanging off of her manicured finger just transparent enough to make out the logo of a First Response as she’d ducked into a sleek, black sports car, driving away with Shane's best worst would-have-been and, presumably, Ilya Rozanov's baby.

    Shane feels no particular way about this turn of events. He really, honestly, mostly is somewhat close to believing that, too. It's progress.

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    1
    AO3:
    #91239341
  10. The scream that rips its way out of Shane’s chest is feral, inhuman. A wretched, mournful wail being torn from his body by the bony hands of grief. He collapses to his knees and sobs, anguish pouring out of him like a tidal wave. Suddenly there are arms around him, but they’re not the right ones. Not Ilya. Or, Ilya’s plane goes down.

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    2 versions
    AO3:
    #93523206
  11. The sparks from his gem slow his racing thoughts as he opens the box. His breath catches. Inside is a soul gem, the biggest one he’s ever seen. It’s a simple gold band, but the gem is the ring, leaving no filler. Unlike Shane’s metal gold the soul gem gold looks like the sun itself spun into a single ring. It’s the biggest brightest soul he’s ever seen.

    Mine. Shane thinks instinctively.

    (or in a world where everyone has a gem that is the physical representation of their soul Shane finds out Ilya has been suppressing his and comes to the only logical conclusion: he has to steal Ilya's soul.)

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    AO3:
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  12. Heat spread across Ilya's face. His mouth fell open slightly. He let out a short, stuttered laugh of disbelief. This couldn't- he was straight, he wasn't-

    “Finally got you at your own game.” Shane's smirk widened to a smile, his hand clapping down on Ilya's shoulder to squeeze it slightly. For once in his life, Ilya was unable to find his voice.

    “Damn.” Shane laughed, jostling him a bit. “If I had known this was all it took to get you to shut the fuck up, I would have started flirting back years ago.”

    ----

    When old college friends Ilya and Shane show up to their mutual best friend's wedding, they are ready to fulfill their duties as bridesmen. Even after years of not seeing each other, they fall right back into their usual banter.

    Ilya loves to flirt with Shane. Shane loves to tell him to fuck off. It's a running bit. Nothing more than a joke between two friends; because Shane is gay and Ilya is straight and it doesn't actually mean anything…until Shane finally decides to flirt back, and Ilya's world suddenly tilts on its axis.

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    2 versions
    AO3:
    #90517896
  13. "Shane," Ilya interrupts, knowing that if he lets Shane go on much longer, he really will be on the next flight back. And as tempting as it is, he really likes all the free shit Shane gets to bring home and he's in desperate need of a new watch after the last barbecue at Bood's went slightly awry. "I'm fine, I just have lice."

    There's a long pause, and though Ilya can't see Shane's face, he can imagine the exact look that's there. Forehead wrinkled, lips set in a thin line, his eyes moving slowly around the room as he tries to figure something out. "You're going to have to expand on that, I think."

    "Turns out the sleepover I hosted for the Pikes had more than a few uninvited guests," Ilya offers and he hears Shane exhale in relief at the explanation, making a mental note to ask when he gets home exactly what other scenarios were playing out in Shane's overactive brain.

    "I bet Hayden and Jackie feel awful."

    Ilya has about twenty apology texts from Jackie he knows he needs to respond to. "Yes, they do."

    "You're going to make Hayden suffer for this, aren't you?"

    He grins, loving how well Shane knows him without even a hint as to what Ilya has planned. "Yes, I am."

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    AO3:
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  14. Ilya Rozanov has signed with the Ottawa Centaurs and the world is very confused.

    Zane Boodram is probably the one person affected the most by this shocking turn of events and it couldn't come at a worse time. His mentors and fellow captains are gone, and he's been left to lead the worst team in the league by himself, which is bad enough, but now he has to deal with Ilya Rozanov joining the roster?
    The Cents don't have a winning legacy to protect, but they do have a positive team culture built up over years by their previous captain. Bood is determined to make sure that all the work doesn't go to waste, so he's not letting the Russian Menace come in and change it.

    Leaving Boston was supposed to be easy.
    Ilya wasn't supposed to feel bad about. And he doesn't. Not really.
    This is a good thing. A new team. The start of a new life with Shane.
    But the Ottawa Centaurs are a mess and things would be a lot easier if Zane Boodram would stop being so weird about it all...

    Language:
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    82,920
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    16/16
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #89474646
  15. The sun was shining through the cottage window, painting the room in a golden light. Shane, ever the early riser, has been already up for an hour or so, watching Ilya’s every feature transform in the changing light. The faint amount of freckles that dot Ilya’s face –not the same kind Shane has, but still visible for those who are close enough–, his long, naturally curly eyelashes, his slightly parted lips and twitching nose are all things Shane could never get enough of. or Shane and Ilya spend a lazy day together durring their stay at the cottage.

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  16. “Loving you - being loved by you - has made me feel brave,” Shane says, like it isn’t the most important thing anyone has ever said to Ilya. He feels like he is floating. Ilya’s chest is warm and fuzzy, and he is so overcome with affection and happiness, that he doesn’t know what to do with himself. He doesn’t think there’s enough room in his chest for all the love that he is feeling right now - for his husband, for the life they have built together, for the future they have fought for.

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    AO3:
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  17. Shane inhales, the air stinging as it scores down his throat. He can hear the rattle of his balcony door as his dad reenters the room, his parents' hushed conversation, muffled by the frantic prey-animal thunder of his heart.

    He's so fucking stupid.

    Even now, as he tries to figure out what to say, words pool on his tongue, ones that he knows he won't actually be able to voice. The familiar, flat-toned voice from the monthly DOMU videos rings through his ear, perfectly neutral as his brain reminds him that the longer time arcana has to work in the body, the less of a chance you have resisting it.

    OR: The Might of Montreal lingers in the gaps as Shane struggles to come to terms with everything he's discovered.

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  18. "The thing is, Shane has always thought he was going to retire in Montreal. He’s spent his whole childhood watching his mom praise them, and wanting to be just like them. He’s had dreams of his jersey getting retired here. He doesn’t want to leave. He wants everything to go back to how it was before Hayden showed up at his door yesterday. He wants to retire a Voyager, he wants to be a Voyager, he’s always wanted to be a Voyager. But he can’t turn back time, and he can’t make himself think that the environment is going to magically get better. He’s already muted the Montreal Voyagers chat after too many jokes at his expense. If they’re that confident behind a screen, who knows how they’ll feel in person. He’s their captain. He should be better than this. This shouldn’t be getting to him. He wants to stop thinking about this. He wants Ilya."

    or:
    Shane gets outed to Montreal a lot earlier than he originally planned to (aka never). The plan he and Ilya made needs to change drastically, as Shane finds himself the one trading teams instead of Ilya. Some things stay the same, but some things change.

    OR:
    The Shane gets traded to New Jersey fic that no one asked for but I wanted to write.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    190,634
    Chapters:
    30/30
    Files:
    2 versions
    AO3:
    #80710956
  19. Ilya’s voice dimmed, “Shane, what’s going on? Are you okay?” he sounded eager, but also sounded like that he would wait years if Shane even gave him one word in return. Shane aggressively shook his head, the hum only growing. “I need to-“ No. No, this wasn’t happening. He wouldn’t let this happen. Shane slowly sunk down to the kitchen floor, feeling the nooks in the drawers of the counters scratch against his back while his eyes shut tightly. He wasn’t going to cry. He wasn’t a fucking baby. Shane was strong. And he was strong enough to make this stop. OR: Shane Hollander experiences a meltdown infront of Ilya.

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    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #91139036
  20. His mom flowed from his pen in the form of ink when he wrote the letter. A letter which meant ‘just in case’. Just in case he can’t control himself, if he doesn’t wake up, if he…you know. Ilya never planned on killing himself, but going willingly or not, the cruel scythe of death that took away his mother could come for him anytime. So he wrote a letter. It wasn’t addressed to anyone specific, just to the unlucky soul who will find him one day when this piece of paper becomes relevant. Or Ilya writes suicide notes. Years later, Shane finds them and thinks they are recent. A misunderstanding is born.

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    AO3:
    #90804546
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