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  • Autistic Shane Hollander ×
  1. It's Fall of 2014 and Ilya Rozanov has cut all ties with Russia. But there's no such thing as a clean break, and leaving isn't as simple as never going back.
    -
    Basically a very self-indulgent fic about how hard it would be for Ilya to actually move on from the pain of the past and to go no contact with his family in a timeline where Grigori is still alive. Also, Ilya deserves to be known and loved by more people than just Shane and Sveta. Forced/Found Family here we come.
    *Sequel to my canon-divergence fic "To only ever know the cold" (go read that first or this won't make sense!)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    29,609
    Chapters:
    10/12
    Files:
    2 versions
    AO3:
    #82537176
  2. Ilya gets added to the Metros WAG chat. That is not the only thing that goes awry.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,727
    Chapters:
    12/?
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #92132491
  3. It turned out the hockey season was a lot more hectic with a full social life in the BDSM club scene and a fiancé who he could never quite escape from. Not to mention wedding planning? God, Shane was in over his head. All he wanted to do was shut his mind off and be a kitty.

    sequel to 'is just ten year plan to fuck'

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    317,898
    Chapters:
    11/?
    Files:
    2 versions
    AO3:
    #84816636
  4. Shane Hollander wasn’t autistic was he? Sure he was different than other people but he was still normal right? It seemed that he was the only person who thought so. Maybe this is something he should think about more. Or Hayden (and others) says something that makes Shane rethink how ‘normal’ he really is.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,141
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #95329346
  5. Ilya and Shane decide to do an anonymous group chat for queer hockey players.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    55,105
    Chapters:
    101/?
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #82093131
  6. "Rozy," Brian, the team doctor says, "talk to me, buddy. That puck clipped you pretty good, how’s the pain?"

    Ilya blinks. He clenches his jaw against a wave of nausea. He rests his cheek on the ice, and the cold helps a little.

    "Bad. Very bad." He swallows. "Is Shane here?"

    -

    or, in the final MTL/BOS game of the year, ilya takes a puck to the head.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    101,872
    Chapters:
    23/?
    Files:
    2 versions
    AO3:
    #77302971
  7. SHANE: Lily.
    LILY: Hello
    SHANE: Dead to me.
    What the actual fuck?
    LILY: ??
    SHANE: what. The. Hell. Did. You. Do.
    LILY: ahh
    I am in trouble
    Yes?

     
    Or Ilya's teammates add "Jane" to the Boston WAG group chat in the height of their "no, we aren't falling in love, whatever do you mean" era (2014-2016-ish?).

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    72,113
    Chapters:
    31/?
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #81424231
  8. Shane Hollander is autistic and Ilya loves that about him. But Shane never understands why perfectly normal behavior is ‘cute’ to Ilya.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,658
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #95006071
  9. Ilya left for a three-day trip with his friend Svetlana. When he comes home he expects his boyfriend Shane to greet him, but instead he finds him crying in bed. Ilya stepped inside their shared house after three days away. It shouldn’t have felt like such a long time, as three days wasn’t all that much, but now that he and Shane were officially boyfriends, every time one of them left the house, it felt like an eternity before they returned. Ilya fully expected Shane to come running up to him, as he always did. But he didn’t. In fact, the house was completely still. The kitchen was quiet, and there wasn’t a sound coming from the living room, either. “Shane, I’m home.” No response. He kicked off his shoes, dropped his bags by the door, and immediately went looking for his boyfriend. He checked every room in the house until he reached the last one: their shared bedroom upstairs. The door creaked as Ilya pushed it open. Shane was lying in bed, and Ilya immediately felt a wave of relief wash over him. At least he was there. But then he noticed that Shane wasn’t sleeping, as he’d initially thought. Instead, he was quietly sobbing into his pillow. Ilya froze for a moment before slowly approaching the bed and sitting down beside him. He gently cupped Shane’s face in his hand. “Hey… hey, what’s wrong?” he asked softly. Shane buried his face deeper into the pillow, his body trembling with each sob. “Baby…” Ilya whispered, genuine concern evident in his voice. At that, Shane took a shaky breath and slowly turned his head over his shoulder. “You’re back,” he murmured. Something inside Ilya shattered. He gently turned Shane onto his back and leaned over him, his gaze fixed on his boyfriend’s tear-streaked face. Seeing Shane like this, so overwhelmed by something Ilya didn’t yet understand, made his chest ache in a way he couldn’t put into words. Without another thought, Ilya pressed his lips firmly against Shane’s, pouring all the worry and relief he’d been holding inside into the kiss. Shane’s fingers began to tangle in Ilya’s curls as an attempt to pull him even closer, even though there wasn’t any space between them now. Ilya pulled away after a while, just enough to look at him, his hand resting against Shane’s cheek. “Baby, talk to me. What happened?” Shane shook his head, his eyes squeezing shut as another tear slipped down his cheek. “Nothing.” “Nothing?” Ilya repeated softly, brushing the tear away with his thumb. “You’re crying, sweetheart.” “I know.” “Then tell me why.” “I don’t know.” The answer came out so quietly that Ilya almost didn’t hear it. For a moment, he simply looked at him. Shane seemed just as frustrated with himself as Ilya was worried about him, his brows drawn together and his lips pressed into a thin line as he tried to get his breathing under control. “Okay,” Ilya murmured, leaning down to press a kiss to his forehead. “Okay, that’s fine. You don’t have to know.” Shane reached for him almost immediately, grabbing a fistful of his shirt and pulling him closer. Ilya let himself be pulled down until their chests were pressed together. He wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, one hand settling at the back of his head, and waited. For a while, neither of them said anything. Then Shane whispered, “I missed you.” A small, almost disbelieving smile tugged at Ilya’s lips. “I missed you, too, malysh.” “No, but” Shane stopped. Ilya felt him take a shaky breath against his neck. “I don’t think you understand.” “Then help me understand.” “I tried.” Shane’s voice cracked. “I tried to be normal about it.” Ilya’s smile faded. “What do you mean?” “It was only three days. I knew it was only three days. You told me when you were coming back, and I knew you were coming back, and I kept telling myself that.” Shane swallowed hard, his fingers tightening around Ilya’s shirt. “But the house was so quiet.” Ilya closed his eyes briefly. “Oh, sweetheart.” “And everything felt wrong.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,657
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #95026321
  10. Shane Hollander has built himself around routine, his life blood is hockey. Struggling to understand his team off the ice and the people around him, he carves out a few silent hours to himself. It's just him and his skates. But the hard fought peace is fragile, like cracks in too thin ice. It only takes a slight impact to shatter. Shane is fighting to hold his team and himself together as everything comes crashing down around him.

    Someone hacks into Rose Landry's phone in a club, they then release the images of Shane's texts online and all hell breaks loose. Shane is left to pick up the pieces. Ilya makes some choices in the aftermath that change everything. Shane decides to stop hiding and Ilya is a possessive asshole who makes it everyone else's problem. With far less reason to hide himself anymore, Shane begins to show more of who he really is behind the polite, media worthy façade. They instead find a team who are ready to fight the world for each other and a found family that has far reaching threads.

    Maybe Shane can have both Hockey and Ilya. The world will just have to deal with it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,044,316
    Chapters:
    92/92
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #77947336
  11. Shane is hiding something that could end his career. Ilya is the kind of person who doesn’t stop until he finds it. What starts as rivalry turns into fixation. Because something about Shane doesn’t make sense, his control, his scent, the way he reacts. And Ilya doesn’t like unsolved patterns. He likes breaking them open. Even if it breaks Shane with it. Not instinct. Not luck. Not being an alpha. Control. So when he watches Shane play, he sees it immediately, something precise, something careful, something just out of reach. Something hidden. And Ilya has never been good at leaving things alone.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    676,405
    Chapters:
    52/52
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #83557726
  12. In 2003, Shane Hollander is assigned a PenPal, and gains a friend. A friend who smokes, calls him boring, and gives him ridiculous nicknames.

    Across the world, Ilya Rozanov practices his English with a curious Canadian boy whose name he can't fucking remember.

    Or, before they were Canada's Shane Hollander and Russia's Ilya Rozanov, they were Cat and Elijah. Shane has no reason to suspect his childhood PenPal is his hockey rival, and Ilya has never even considered that the man he's falling for is also the boy he already fell in love with through letters and postcards.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    266,469
    Chapters:
    37/?
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #80799901
  13. Daily posts on the Ottawa Centaurs social media during Shane Hollander's first season.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    79,887
    Chapters:
    37/?
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #82186826
  14. Shane watches as Ilya laughs brightly, shaking his head despite the person on the other end of the phone being unable to hear him. He responds with the same jovial tone that is being sent in his direction, the words still a chirp as is usual between hockey players, but spoken with a lighthearted teasing laced throughout it. There’s no hunched shoulders, tense jaw, dropped gaze. Ilya is the opposite, sprawled across the couch, phone held in a loose grip, the speaker phone creating a bit of echo but not interacting with the quality of the call. One would think that Ilya is talking to someone he adores, like Svetlana, or maybe even Shane when they’re playing the latest NHL video game, battling against each other. It definitely doesn’t sound like any conversation Shane has ever had with one of his own teammates.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,429
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #94169076
  15. Shane Hollander begins his NHL career unchallenged when Ilya Rozanov enters the KHL after World Juniors. One season of being allowed to terrorize the ice and the Winner’s Room is enough for Boston to drag Ilya out of Russia.

    What they had not accounted for in releasing a second generational talent into the league was that not all predators are solitary. Ilya may want to bring Hollander to his knees, but he wants to present the defeat of an inferior player to his feet first.

    He just has to convince Hollander to let him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    114,576
    Chapters:
    15/?
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #81434161
  16. Penelope (Dill)
    Omg get on with it, Cass!

    Cassie (Bood)
    Thank you
    Now, we must behave ourselves, ladies
    We have royalty in our midst

    Arden (Pointy)
    What the hell are you on about, Cassie?

    Cassie (Bood) has added Jane (Rozy) to the conversation

    Jane (Rozy)
    Uhh
    What is this?
    ______________
    or; "Jane" gets added to the Ottawa WAGs chat after Ilya drunkenly tells his teammates about "her"
    or or; Shane Hollander in his WAG era

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    34,991
    Chapters:
    18/20
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #85301686
  17. - Marlow Has Added Jane to the Conversation -

    Marlow: Please don't tell Roz

    Jane: O.O

     

    - Hayden Has Added Lily to the Conversation -

    Lily: What the fuck is this?

    Hayden: Oh-

     

    I do not give permission for this work to be used or published elsewhere, even changed to work with a different shipping or fandom.
    I do not give permission for this work to be changed through the use of AI/ChatGPT.
    Any show of this will be reported.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    62,286
    Chapters:
    58/60
    Files:
    2 versions
    AO3:
    #78582891
  18. TMZ and half of the tabloids are certain it’s only a matter of time before Ilya Rozanov gets too drunk and drops a good old-fashioned salacious cheating scandal right into their hands.
    Fortunately for TMZ, Ilya Rozanov does get too drunk. Unfortunately for TMZ, what follows is exactly the opposite of what they were hoping for.
    -----
    Ilya is sitting opposite Marleau, right at the center of a crowded mass of Raider's players. His phone buzzes and he looks down with a grin. Ilya taps open the message then bites his lip, eyes bright.

    A cheer goes up from all sides, feet stamping against the floorboards.

    “What?” Ilya looks up and glares about him. “Fuck off. You are all much more ugly than Hollander. Do not be acting like this.”

    Hammersmith grins. “What you looking at us like that for, hey Rozy?”

    “Yeah, c’mon man. Had to be done, right?” says Connors.

    Ilya raises his eyebrows.

    Marleau leans forward and grins. He gestures at Rozy’s phone. “Little game to see how long before we caught you fucking gazing at your phone with your fucking Montreal girl fucking face, Rozy. Gotta appreciate it again, brother. Now we really know what we’re looking at, yeah?”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,646
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #93977676
  19. Now, for the first time in years, he found himself praying. Not caring who listened. Not caring if anyone listened.
    Take anything.
    Take the game.
    Take my career.
    Take whatever you want.

    Just let him wake up.
    Because Shane couldn't be gone.
    ~~~~
    Cliff Marlow isn't the one who sends Shane Hollander to the hospital.
    Ilya Rozanov is.
    And when the worst thing Ilya can imagine happens, keeping their relationship a secret becomes impossible.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    295,349
    Chapters:
    94/94
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #87164261
  20. Ilya had two nephews. That’s the fact that kept running around his head.

    When Ilya gets a phone call about his brother's death, he is determined to do whatever it takes to keep his family together. Even if it means for a short while, his new family has to be apart.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,947
    Chapters:
    4/20
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #81183066
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