1 – 20 of 24 Works in Sexual Humor
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SHANE: Lily.
LILY: Hello
SHANE: Dead to me.
What the actual fuck?
LILY: ??
SHANE: what. The. Hell. Did. You. Do.
LILY: ahh
I am in trouble
Yes?
Or Ilya's teammates add "Jane" to the Boston WAG group chat in the height of their "no, we aren't falling in love, whatever do you mean" era (2014-2016-ish?).- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 72,113
- Chapters:
- 31/?
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #81424231
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Ilya suddenly cleared his throat, squared his shoulders, lifted his chin with a strange expression and began reciting poetry in Russian.
Shane's jaw dropped.
“...anyway, he cut his wrists, wrote this poem with his blood, and hanged himself. What?”
Shane closed his mouth, shook his head, and finally said,
“When I came here, I expected a lot of things. I don't know that you'd make me drink litres of vodka or something like that. But not poetry in a cemetery, I admit, I didn't see it coming.”
...
NHL 2012 Lockout. Hollander comes to Moscow to play in the KHL and learns two things: Moscow landlords don't particularly like renting to Asians, and Ilya Rozanov has a spare room.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 76,048
- Chapters:
- 17/17
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #90801026
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"ilya rozanov let me eat that ass like a fucking sausage mcgrittle" by Anonymous
Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
2026-08-22
HARRIS: Today you’ll be reading thirst tweets about the other.
HOLLANDER: No.
ROZANOV, delighted: Oh! This will be fun.
HOLLANDER: No way.
HOLLANDER stands up.
HOLLANDER: Where’s Barrett? He can do this.
HOLLANDER actively walks off-set.
or, in an unreleased video the ottawa centaur's read out thirst tweets in pairs and they all learn quite a lot they probably shouldn't have known about each other
- Part 7 of the loser has to fall
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,107
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #91117126
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Now that Shane is officially a player on the Ottawa Centaurs, Ilya demands to be added to the WAG chat too.
Chaos ensues.- Part 2 of Hollanov/Centaurs Texting/WAG Fics
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,014
- Chapters:
- 7/?
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #83190836
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Marly: Roz
Marly: Roz
Marly: Roz
Marly: I think I’m bilingual**
J.J. and Marly hook up after a Boston and Montreal match, effectively discovering that they are both bisexual. Unfortunately, they could not figure this out themselves, and Ilya and Shane are woken up at the ass crack of dawn to help with their friends' inability to process their feelings.
- Part 1 of HR Texting Fics
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,592
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #90010706
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Casey kinda feels like he’s cracked the whole thing wide open here, if he’s being honest. The Centaurs had, after all, gotten drastically better in the last few years, and if he thinks about it, those changes had only seemed to happen once they’d had gay players on the roster. And they only seemed to get better the more they added. Maybe the league had been overlooking what was honestly a fairly well-proven strategy purely out of homophobia, and Casey was only seeing it now because he wasn’t one of those guys that got bothered by that.
“Actually, if it works so good, maybe we should try it,” Casey realizes.
This is where it officially goes too far.
After overhearing a particularly inspiring chirp from Rozanov, Casey Marks of the Vancouver Ravens gets a fantastic idea. If he can convince his linemate Routhier to go along with it, maybe they can finally turn their bottom-rung team into a real contender. And if Casey enjoys every second of it, that’s just because Routhier is objectively hot. Casey is definitely, totally, 100% straight. Totally.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 28,046
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #85620261
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200lbs of Muscle by prailock
Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types, Heated Rivalry (TV)
2026-05-10
In the midst of a press conference announcing an expansion of the Irina Foundation to include two camps in Europe, a homophobic “activist” attempts to disrupt Shane and Ilya's statements. He seems to have forgotten that Shane is a professional athlete. It's a swift reminder.
- Part 2 of Pure Meringue
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,471
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #84580351
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Breaking News: We Like Each Other by Anonymous
Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types, Heated Rivalry (TV)
2026-05-02
In the offseason, a steamy video of Shane and Ilya dancing at a club goes viral. Already out and married for years at this point, the first husbands of hockey can't believe this is news. For once, it's Shane whose media responses blow it up even further. Ilya’s not about to let an opportunity to compete with Shane go to waste.
Or
The rivalry still hasn't died, they just find new ways to keep it going. Why choose silence when you can choose violence?
- Part 1 of Pure Meringue
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 41,980
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #82779106
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the bisexual fairy godmother of the NHL by Anonymous
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-04-02
5 times Ilya played matchmaker to the queer guys in the league and showed them that he has insane gaydar and is extremely perceptive (and to maybe make sure they absolutely did not ask out his Shane, even when that wasn't happening, but you know Ilya he is so obsessed with Shane he assumes that everyone wants to date his man)
+1 time they found out Rozanov wasn't just an allyor
5 times Ilya played matchmaker
+1 time everyone found out he is not just an ally- Part 4 of Hollanov/Centaurs Texting/WAG Fics
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,974
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #80184366
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“Rozanov introduces himself to the rest of his family, and Hayden can tell that they’re all immediately charmed by his blue eyes and foreign accent. He feels like he’s going crazy. Is he the only one who can see past this guy’s slimy schtick? There’s only one explanation. Shane has found some sort of magical Russian trickster god for a boyfriend and has fallen under his evil spell. Hayden has to get Shane to safety immediately.” It’s graduation, and Hayden Pike is on top of the world. He gets to spend his day with his favorite people—his wife and two daughters, and his best friend Shane. His best friend Shane, who forgot to tell Hayden about his boyfriend.
- Part 7 of we’ve got bad things to do
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,696
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #81928861
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The OnlyFans Debacle (That Wasn't) by Anonymous
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-03-21
@IlyaRozanov_81 ✅
Hockey season boring right now 😴 so I found a new hobby. OnlyFans coming soon. You want to see my real skills? Not just on the ice 😏
Follow there for exclusive content: onlyfans.com/ilyarozanov81
@rozanovmouthguard: An Ilya Rozanov OnlyFans was not on my new year’s bingo card but OKAY
@hockeydommymommy: If I subscribe and he doesn't post a video of him trying to put on skinny jeans when his thighs are too big I want my money back!
In which a fake OnlyFans account of Ilya Rozanov goes viral, turning into the NHL’s worst nightmare. Ilya finds the whole thing deeply entertaining and immediately starts encouraging the bit.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,782
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #81528991
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with you to the end of the (blue) line by Anonymous
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-03-16
Scott Hunter is Captain America, working a thankless job with the Black Widow, also known as Ilya Rozanov, when shit starts to hit the fan.
(Also known as, what if the Heated Rivalry characters were in the movie that inspired their very existence?)- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 16,507
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #81289526
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"Good evening, everyone. Joining us in the booth tonight is former Centaurs captain Ilya Rozanov."
"And there's Shane Hollander with the puck," Ilya greeted warmly. "Talented and beautiful man with incredible thighs. Married, unfortunately for the rest of you."
The broadcast camera zoomed in on Shane's face.
"That's my husband," Ilya added, just in case anyone had forgotten.
The Ottawa Centaurs are playing Montreal in the most anticipated matchup of the season. Unfortunately for everyone involved, retired Centaurs legend Ilya Rozanov has been invited to guest commentate.
Featuring: biased commentary, Montreal slander, and aggressive husband hyping.
- Part 5 of This Is Why We Have Media Training
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,922
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #80953641
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Shane Hollander: Most Wanted by Anonymous
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-03-11
Set after Shane comes out to his team. Now that more and more people find out he is gay, he is also getting a lot more male attention.
Meanwhile Ilya gets progressively more jealous and wants to remind everyone exactly who Shane Hollander belongs to.
Also they're idiots in loveor
5 times Shane had to reject a guy giving him attention
+1 time everyone found out why- Part 3 of Hollanov/Centaurs Texting/WAG Fics
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,325
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #80986741
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“Rozanov, back up.”
“Backing up,” Ilya said evenly, “But if he touches my husband again I will explore violence.”
Shane exhaled, resigned. "You are sitting next to me for a reason.”
“Yes,” Ilya agreed. “Leash.”
@downbadinottawa
There are FOSSILS less down than Rozanov. He is WHIPPED and PROUD of it.@montrealdefender
we are getting destroyed by a guy who just publicly admitted his husband controls him. this is the worst timeline.When Ottawa faces Montreal again, Shane keeps it professional. Ilya absolutely does not.
Featuring: one infamous Hollanov Wikipedia page and a professional athlete with a marriage kink.
Translated into Chinese
- Part 3 of This Is Why We Have Media Training
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,733
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #79390261
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'Jane' gets added to the Centaurs WAG groupchat, after Wyatt notices Roz wearing a ring...
pov Wyatt
- Part 1 of Hollanov/Centaurs Texting/WAG Fics
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 17,818
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #79372021
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Your Turn by animeboysruinedmylife
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-01-20
Hayden crosses the room and grabs his phone off the bed. “Why did you just text me, weirdo?” Shane frowns. “What, I didnt–” Wait. “Oh god.” Shane scrambles off his bed. “Hayden, please don’t open that.” Hayden looks up from his phone. “What? Why?” “Uh–” Shane looks down. His face is burning, he’s sure of it. “I… I think I accidentally sent you something that was supposed to be for… someone else.” Or, Shane accidentally sends a dick pic to his best friend Hayden Pike.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,608
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #77991251
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addicted to your touch by AniniTI
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-01-16
A blurry video, the nightclub lights dancing in neon pink. Two tall, muscular figures dance in a corner, focused completely on the other as they sway into each other. It blows the internet up. Or, a video of Shane grinding on Ilya, drunk out of his mind, is leaked. It goes predictably. OR, Hollanov are hoes and keep on exposing their sex life. They make it everyone's problem. (it isn't a problem, really)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,747
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #77777511
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Hockey Stars Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov Read Thirst Tweets by IamPoof
Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-01-10
Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov reading Thirst Tweets with Buzzfeed!
- Part 2 of Hollanov Youtube Interviews
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,027
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #77455266
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you think there is enough? by dressedupliketheking
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-01-07
They're down to the final countdown before Ilya leaves the cottage. Shane's mom arrives with fresh food from the local market and... unrequested supplies. OR Ilya stays at the cottage longer than originally planned. Yuna Hollander just wants her boys to be safe and well. To Ilya's delight and Shane's horror, she brings them sex-related items.
- Part 5 of all the things they (finally) said
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,891
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #77248406