Summary:

Mere minutes after the Montreal Voyageurs announce their captain, and most adored man in all of Canada, is being benched, local group chats have lit up brighter than an unregulated aftermarket headlight on a lifted truck. Will homophobia be defeated by the only thing more powerful in the world of sports; alcoholic uncles who totally could've gone pro if they didn't pull a muscle right before the scouts showed up for Juniors?

Or

The city of Montreal riots over Shane Hollander being benched after the FanMail leak.