1 – 20 of 103 Works in Suicidal Thoughts
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They got to the bed before Hollander got weird again-
"What?" Ilya asked. "You are pregnant and is mine?"
"What?" Hollander shot back, his eyebrows lifting. He let out a single laugh, and shook his head. "No. Shut up. I'm trying to - What? No. I just. Wanted to, uh, ask something."
"Okay?" Ilya looked around as if he might find the reason Hollander was not just asking already, written on the door or something. "So ask? You want new position?"
For a moment Hollander didn't respond, was staring at the crumpled bedspread between them, his jaw working slightly, an easy tell Ilya didn't think Hollander knew about, that he was chewing on the inside of his lips. Sometimes when they kissed Hollander's mouth was tangy with blood.
"I wanted to," Hollander said, slow and even, "ask. If this was our last time hooking up, what would you want to do?"A fic in which both Shane and Ilya consider themselves the dogs that are about to be put down, and act accordingly.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 38,128
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #94575111
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Too Close to Hide by Jennfarag29
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
2026-10-18
Shane is hiding something that could end his career. Ilya is the kind of person who doesn’t stop until he finds it. What starts as rivalry turns into fixation. Because something about Shane doesn’t make sense, his control, his scent, the way he reacts. And Ilya doesn’t like unsolved patterns. He likes breaking them open. Even if it breaks Shane with it. Not instinct. Not luck. Not being an alpha. Control. So when he watches Shane play, he sees it immediately, something precise, something careful, something just out of reach. Something hidden. And Ilya has never been good at leaving things alone.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 676,405
- Chapters:
- 52/52
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #83557726
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He'd made it halfway through writing the first note before it felt suddenly far too pathetic. Was this seriously the legacy he wanted to leave behind? No one would talk about any of his wins if he killed himself now. He would be the failed Russian team captain of the 2014 Olympics who couldn't handle the job and offed himself about it. His father would probably follow him in death just to yell at him for embarrassing the family, and Russia, and everyone who had ever rooted for him.
And when he had been made captain in Boston, he had promised his Bears he would get them a cup. He couldn't just leave without doing that. Didn't want to leave and let people think he was a liar, or that he just gave up when things got hard, lazy, useless, stupid boy.
He tore up the note he'd begun, and began his second plan instead.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 41,394
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Files:
- 2 versions
- AO3:
- #92089516
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Miles to go before I sleep by Anonymous
Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types, Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-10-01
On February 17, Ilya goes through with his plan to break up with Shane.
On April 18, the MLH announces an expansion team in Arizona.
On June 21, the Phoenix Coyotes draft both Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander, who were left unprotected by their teams.
On Monday, Ilya decides he doesn't want to live anymore.
On Thursday, Shane asks if he wants to drive to Phoenix with him.
Huh.
—
This is a love story.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,570
- Chapters:
- 2/?
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #92744216
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every minute and every hour, i miss you by justhockey
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-09-29
The scream that rips its way out of Shane’s chest is feral, inhuman. A wretched, mournful wail being torn from his body by the bony hands of grief. He collapses to his knees and sobs, anguish pouring out of him like a tidal wave. Suddenly there are arms around him, but they’re not the right ones. Not Ilya. Or, Ilya’s plane goes down.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,218
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 2 versions
- AO3:
- #93523206
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Loving You Is A Losing Game by Anonymous
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types, Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-09-16
Box office manager Gabriella Marchaud returns from vacation to find her work best friend Ilya Rozanov spiraling into a playoff-induced depression.
To pull him back from the brink, she devises a ridiculous plan: lure him back to Ottawa for a night of glitter, drunken chaos, and the transformative power of Eurovision.
But she can't do it alone. She needs a team of hockey players willing to learn the sacred art of Europe's greatest cultural event—through 67 pages of history, two semi finals of training, and the kind of ridiculous joy that might just save Ilya from himself.
Or
Gabriella recruits the Centaurs into watching Eurovision so she can save Ilya from playoff depression.
- Part 2 of Friends in Ottawa AU
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 76,056
- Chapters:
- 16/16
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #87761781
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What if Scott Hunter was waiting for an elevator in Vegas?
What if Shane and Ilya had an emotional support Old Man and his Art History Twink?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 258,650
- Chapters:
- 20/?
- Files:
- 2 versions
- AO3:
- #76857821
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I just got here but I'm leaving by Anonymous
Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types, Heated Rivalry (TV)
2026-09-03
Ilya doesn’t want to be here anymore.
Things get bad for Ilya in 2014 following the Sochi Olympics and winning the Cup. In desperation, he calls Shane. To his surprise, Shane shows up.
- Part 1 of point me towards the real
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 48,336
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #90097796
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disappearing act by Anonymous
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
2026-09-01
“Ilya?” his voice is thick and heavy on his tongue. He's so agonizingly beautiful, his face tender and red from the impact of his helmet hitting the ice moments before. “I’m okay,” he insists, blinking slowly.
And then, starting at his fingertips, Shane starts to fade away, just like St-Simon and Marlow and Pike moments before. Eyes soft, Shane gazes at Ilya, not seeming to realize what’s happening at all. And Ilya, overcome with terror, can only watch as Shane’s whole being simply disintegrates into thin air.
__
Half the universe is snapped out of existence, including Shane.
Ilya struggles to cope.Or, a character study on grief, ending with reunion.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 31,228
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #91546936
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Restart Again and Again by Anonymous
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
2026-08-31
The phone rings and Shane startles, fists tightening in his hair as the sound grates against him. Ilya grabs the device from the counter above him and silences it, tossing it towards the living room and away from the tiny, careful bubble he's created. He watches as Shane's eyes close tightly, a small huff of rattling breath escaping him.
“How could there be a video?” He whispers, almost so quietly that Ilya nearly misses it. Maybe he wasn't intended to hear it in the first place.
Or: A sequel to Try, Try Again - the assault happened, Shane recovered, but when someone sends a link to an online video, their world is tipped upside down again.
Heed the tags! We get a bit more graphic in this one, again, I don't go into explicit detail of the assault, but it is referenced and opening scenes of the video are included. If you do not wish to do this to yourself because you like happiness, please, follow your heart and click away.
- Part 3 of Trying
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 66,736
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #88934971
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the third option by sevdim
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
2026-08-29
A teenage Ilya arrives at an elite six-month development programme already planning to kill himself. Shane keeps accidentally interrupting his suicide attempts because he’s obsessed with rules, routine, and following proper protocol.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 56,099
- Chapters:
- 13/13
- Files:
- 2 versions
- AO3:
- #84680606
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Take Me to War (Honey I Dare You) by Anonymous
Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
2026-08-29
Shane Hollander was the best monster hunter in Canada. Past tense, as of last week. Now that he's been turned into a vampire it's Ilya Rozanov's job to hunt him down, a tricky task considering vampire Shane still possesses all the skills he had in life. And Ilya hasn't dealt with the fact that he's in love with him yet.
Hayden Pike is convinced there's a way to bring Shane back to humanity, but Ilya doesn't believe in miracle cures and happily ever afters. Why should he? He's a monster hunter. His kind of life only ends one way, and it isn’t with a kiss.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,486
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #89898686
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Cocaine was somehow everywhere in Shane’s life, at every party, in every pre-season lecture from coaches, in every post-season warning, every wild story the guys told to tempt the rookies into pleasure and scare them into line. And yet, Shane didn’t actually know much about it. He was too chicken, too prudish, maybe. He thought he was too good to ever need to know. Maybe Rozanov was right.
“Okay.” Ilya’s agreement startled Shane from his thoughts. “My Jane… she is good lay, mm? The best, maybe. And she doesn’t like coke, not even for fun. So, I will not do it. One year. To prove a point and keep her happy. I do not have addiction problem, so will be easy-peazy. And when I win, I will get whatever I want. Okay?”
-x-
Or, my Shane and Ilya cocaine thesis
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 31,661
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #88359656
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Irina survives, flees with Ilya to Boston, and marries a woman named Debbie.
Ilya's life looks a little different, after that.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,322
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 2 versions
- AO3:
- #90417541
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Fire on Fire by Anonymous
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
2026-08-12
In Vegas, after the MLH awards, Shane asks to go bare and Ilya goes along with it. Afterwards, Shane, who had realized how he felt about Ilya during those 6 months of radio silence, tries to tell Ilya. Ilya, scared and caught off guard, breaks Shane's heart and tells him to leave.
A month later, Shane finds out he's pregnant. He decides to keep it. He tells the Voyageurs. It goes how you'd expect. They drop him. But he has his baby. While he focuses on keeping his body healthy for the baby, Yuna focuses on finding a team that will take him and give him what he wants for the end of the pregnancy. Only one team will - The Boston Bears.
Things are looking up for Shane. Until he loses everything...again. His world falls apart in the span of a few hours. Again. His mind can't take it and he breaks.
A little over a year after Ilya broke Shane's heart, Shane starts a new season as a newly minted Boston Bear. Will he be able to play with the man that broke his heart and act like nothing happened? Will Ilya?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 69,369
- Chapters:
- 30/30
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #87588446
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Ilya Rozanov was starting over. His mother was long dead, his father had finally passed, and his brother didn’t want him around anymore. Moscow was nothing but dead bodies and fading memories and scars that just wouldn’t heal.
Enter Shane Hollander.
*Laceration, from Ilya’s POV- Part 2 of Laceration
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 59,715
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Files:
- 2 versions
- AO3:
- #90234501
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In Ancient Troy, a princess of the city and priestess of Apollo was struck with a terrible curse. The prophecies she Spoke would always be accurate, but none would ever believe her but the one deemed Listener.
Cassandra, Princess of Troy, is not the only person to fall victim to this curse. Hundreds of descendants share her burden. Irina Rozanova is one such descendant. And due to the nature of the curse, none can ever know but her ruthless, ambitious Listener of a husband.
Until her son speaks a truth so damning and so powerful, it makes her doubt. And maybe, just maybe, makes her brave.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,263
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #87990881
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Love, Vodka, or the Sea by Anonymous
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types, Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-08-01
Recovery isn't linear.
Knowing this, and believing it, are two different things.Shane moves to Ottawa, ready to finally spend time with his soulmate, properly. Maybe the excitement is why he doesn't always notice.
Ilya wins the Cup with Shane at his side, but it doesn't matter as much as it should have. Not when his body hurts and his mind is fragile and he feels one moment away from collapse.
Timeline goes back and forth, but we start off one year after the events of the previous story.
In the end, everything will be okay.- Part 3 of This is Love
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 16,714
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #88105341
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I love you. See you tomorrow. See you tomorrow. See you tomorrow. by Anonymous
Heated Rivalry (TV)
2026-07-31
Ilya goes through maybe the worst twenty-four hours of his life.
Then he does it again.
Or: instead of Shane's canon injury, there's a time loop.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 15,510
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #89607056
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Ilya's life is already at a low ebb, having chased Shane Hollander out of his house and into the arms of American's sweetheart, Rose Landry. Things get even worse when his former coach dies, and a secret Ilya has been avoiding for over a decade is suddenly shockingly, horribly public.
Or,
"You heard that Lipovsky died?"
Lipovsky. The name has the usual deadening effect on Ilya's emotions. He can feel his face going blank as everything drains from him until he's as empty as a bathtub with the plug pulled out. "Yes, of course."
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 18,593
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #89337556