1 – 20 of 71 Works in Attempt at Humor

  • Attempt at Humor ×

  1. Miles to go before I sleep by

    Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types, Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
    • M

    2026-10-01

    On February 17, Ilya goes through with his plan to break up with Shane.

    On April 18, the MLH announces an expansion team in Arizona.

    On June 21, the Phoenix Coyotes draft both Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander, who were left unprotected by their teams.

    On Monday, Ilya decides he doesn't want to live anymore.

    On Thursday, Shane asks if he wants to drive to Phoenix with him.

    Huh.

    —

    This is a love story.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,570
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #92744216

  2. I’ll Believe in Anything (Except That) by

    Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
    • E

    2026-09-27

    In another timeline, Shane and Ilya hook up in Room 1410, Ilya slips out unnoticed, and they spend the next seven years trapped in the situationship from hell we all know and love.

    In this one, Yuna Hollander walks in just as Ilya goes to leave and—through the combined power of misunderstanding, miscommunication, and a frankly alarming lack of follow-up—Shane and Ilya start dating in 2010.

    Given the chance to grow up with rather than against each other, Shane and Ilya build a life thats steadier, safer, and far less frightening than their canon. Their rivalry fizzles before it ever has the chance to fully ignite, replaced by hockey’s most beloved “bromance", and in 2015, they find the courage to do the one thing their canon counterparts never got to do: tell the NHL and the world.

    There is just one problem: No one believes them.

     

    OR: Despite Shane and Ilya being out for two years, Scott Hunter is still considered the first openly gay player in the NHL, much to Ilya’s indignation.

    ACT I: Ch. 1–11 | Complete | 2010–2015 | 107k
    ACT II: Ch. 12–16 | Ongoing | 2015+

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    146,116
    Chapters:
    15/16
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #84525081

  3. Lily Has Questions, Jane Does Not Have Answers by

    Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
    • T
    • ✓

    2026-08-16

    Most days, Shane loved the unhinged text messages he would get from Ilya Rozanov. Random streams of consciousness, hilarious insults about other hockey players, critiques of games, excitement over the dogs he would meet on his daily runs.

    But some days, the messages were so completely off the rails that Shane wanted to strangle him.

    Today was one of those days.

    February 18

    Lily
    Are you gay?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,186
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #90654281

  4. Four Out of Five Dentists by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
    • T
    • ✓

    2026-08-11

    Four out of five dentists recommend not getting into a seven-year situationship. They also recommend brushing your teeth before making out with your MLH rival in a hotel room the summer before your rookie season.

    -

    The story of Heated Rivalry retold in little scenes. The unseen befores and the unseen afters.

    A 5 + 1 type fic. (Way more than) five times that Shane brushes his teeth alone. And the one time he doesn’t.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,392
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #90316261

  5. Husband Shenanigans by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
    • ?

    2026-08-11

    Now that Shane is officially a player on the Ottawa Centaurs, Ilya demands to be added to the WAG chat too.
    Chaos ensues.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,014
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #83190836

  6. Too Early by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
    • M
    • ✓

    2026-08-06

    Marly: Roz
    Marly: Roz
    Marly: Roz
    Marly: I think I’m bilingual 

    **

    J.J. and Marly hook up after a Boston and Montreal match, effectively discovering that they are both bisexual. Unfortunately, they could not figure this out themselves, and Ilya and Shane are woken up at the ass crack of dawn to help with their friends' inability to process their feelings.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,592
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #90010706

  7. Ten Easy Steps to Being a Good Boyfriend by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
    • T
    • ✓

    2026-07-09

    After the cottage, Shane panic-googles how to be a good boyfriend and follows every step.

    Ilya becomes increasingly convinced Shane is about to break up with him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,700
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #88244856

  8. To Love and to Hold for Eternity by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
    • E
    • !
    • ✓

    2026-06-14

    Set after the Long Game (before the new book comes out), Shane Hollander, Ottawa Centaurs’ hockey superstar, and husband of Ilya Rozanov, Ottawa Centaurs’ captain, was feeling at a loss. He's been married to his mate, best friend and the love of his life for over five exquisite years now, and he’s surrounded with possibly the greatest and most supportive people– his parents, his team, and their fans. Their hockey team had won the Stanley Cup for three consecutive years, leading the Centaurs to record breaking games every season. On top of that, Shane Hollander, a gay omega of Asian descent, had proven to the world that one’s gender, sexuality, designation, and race were not a hindrance to reaching your dreams. Shane has everything he ever wanted within his reach. Despite this, he couldn’t stop himself from still desiring one thing to complete the puzzle in his heart. Join hockey husband and superstars Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov navigate the wondrous adventure towards parenthood. (Tears may have been shed but you didn't hear it from either of them.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,243
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #77497756

  9. So Lily is just a buddy? by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
    • M
    • ?
    • ✓

    2026-06-02

    Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov never hooked up at the CCM commercial.

    Now it's 2017. Yuna Hollander is concerned that Shane doesn't have many friends, so she signs him up on a buddy network website.
    Shane gets paired with someone else looking for a 'buddy', not knowing that it's his on-ice rival, Ilya Rozanov.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    49,834
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Files:
    2 versions
    AO3:
    #84152481

  10. Is Lily oomf? by

    Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
    • M
    • ✓

    2026-05-18

    camilla in ottawa @cami_camisole
    OMGGG guys the craziest thing just happened i was in line at the grocery store behind shane mf Hollander (!!!!!) and he was on his phone messages on full display and ig hes got a gf and theyre FREAKYYY?? sorry the pics are a lil blurry but i was trying to be discreet yk

    or: Shane and Ilya should have invested in privacy screen protectors. They didn't, and now the whole world knows about Lily and Jane.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,186
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #85012776

  11. Even anxious pups need the moon by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
    • E
    • ✓

    2026-05-15

    He’s becoming painfully aware of the ginormous rock settling in his stomach while trying to keep the sexy mood alive and not completely kill it by acknowledging the very big, very blue-pink-white striped elephant in the room trying to hide under a singular queen-sized bedsheet. Maybe he could politely ask it to leave?

    Any second now, Shane could turn his head and nuzzle into his very flaccid packer and then there would be questions and he would have to reveal that he kind of lied to them and then they’ll probably kick him out because Shane is gay and hates pussy, and Ilya might be bi but what if he doesn’t hate pussy, he just hates it when it’s attached to a guy and holy shit he’ll have to get traded, he’ll have to call Wiebe and tell him to send him as far away as possible, to Minnesota or some shit, because he’s never playing with Ottawa again after this, fuck the elephant is going to be such a bitch to move to Minnesota—

    OR: Luca kind of forgets to tell Shane and Ilya that he's trans, but luckily there's a particular skill Shane Hollander never got around to master (Just ask Rose Landry!), and Ilya has a point to prove.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,716
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #84921351

  12. it's all fun and games when you're a pretty party boy by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
    • T
    • ✓

    2026-05-15

    Roz: marly, wtf??
    didn’t think i needed to say it, you are telling everyone my shit?

    Cliff: shit, man, I'm sorry
    and I get you’re prly mad at me but let’s focus on what’s important, okay?
    Hammer told Hollzy about the Hollander-stripper

    Hammer: Connors requested staff info from the Metro’s to track down a Jane that worked for them
    got in trouble with management for it
    they thought it was for harassment

    Connors: Marly told me you’ve been in love with Jane since your cup-year, at least
    said you almost killed yourself when she broke up with you and something about a tuna sandwich

    Carmy: we’re trying to spread out the Roz anger? Gravy sent shirtless pictures of Roz to that Latvian guy

    Gravy: we agreed to no more Jānis mentions in the chat!

    Roz: fucking stop it! all of you

    OR

    Roz is abandoning the team and the country for his secret girlfriend. Cliff would LOVE some more intel on Jane but Roz has never been forthcoming. At the very least Cliff can make sure that Roz's last few weeks are nothing but fun and games!

    A total crackfic featuring our Boston Boys partying in style.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,371
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #84860966

  13. Welcome, Jane! by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
    • M
    • ?
    • ✓

    2026-05-14

    "Jane" gets added to the Centaures WAGs chat shortly after Ilya moves to Ottawa. Maybe a group of girl friends is exactly what Shane needs in the face of hardship

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    24,356
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Files:
    2 versions
    AO3:
    #84137106

  14. Marvel-lous Rivalry by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Captain America (Chris Evans Movies), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
    • T
    • !

    2026-05-09

    When Agent Ilya Rozanov warns Agent Shane Hollander that SHIELD is secretly a front for a Nazi death cult, Shane dismisses it as a tasteless joke.

    But when the Helicarriers crash and a century's worth of secrets are exposed, Shane realizes too late that he should have listened. By then, Rozanov is already long gone, taking with him all the answers and leaving Shane wondering if he ever really knew the man he fell in love with.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,015
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #84516771

  15. after the ending / before the beginning by

    Heated Rivalry (TV)
    • T
    • ✓

    2026-04-26

    With a record-breaking transfer fee in the 2018 off-season, Ilya Rozanov moved to Ottawa and wrecked his entire career and legacy in one go. Three years later, in a hole-in-the-wall pizza joint in Canada, a few of the Boston Raiders reckon with why.

    Relatedly, Shane Hollander is getting married.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,182
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #83807636

  16. stutter by

    Heated Rivalry (TV)
    • E

    2026-04-25

    “Am not a coward, Hollander,” Rozanov interrupts his rambling, and even his eyebrows manage to look—not displeased but disapproving? Shane is not quite sure what to make of the current expression on his face.

    “Um,” says Shane. “What?”

    Rozanov gestures between the two of them, almost impatient. “I can pretend to date you for a bit to please the monkeys in the circus. Everybody thinks we are dating now, anyway, so we might as well use it. And paparazzi are stupid. Even though Scott Hunter is a prick, he is a prick that does not deserve this kind of negative attention.” He shrugs, almost casual, and looks Shane up and down. “Plus, am into boys as well as girls. Is honestly not a problem for me.”

    or: Shane digs himself quite a big hole, and now everyone believes he is dating none other than Ilya Rozanov. This would be no problem if he and Ilya 1) were indeed dating and 2) could actually stand each other.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    50,168
    Chapters:
    7/9
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #77201911

  17. The Googly Eyes See All by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types, Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
    • M
    • ✓

    2026-04-15

    It's All Star weekend, and Gerty, Philly's mascot, just wants a Snickers.
    or
    Ilya fights a mascot.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,929
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #83198021

  18. Scott + Ilya vs. The Homophobes by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
    • ?

    2026-04-10

    Scott and Ilya put up a united front against all the homophobic assholes in the league. Well, maybe not that united. But at least they're changing the narrative a bit, one homophobe at a time.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,473
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #82849586

  19. he looks so cute wrapped round my finger by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
    • T
    • ✓

    2026-04-09

    “We’re just, well-“ Choui hedges, then glances round as if he’s looking for back up. “We’re worried that you’re a bit too controlling,” Hayes blurts out. “Of Rozanov.” Shane opens his mouth to respond, but he closes it again when he realises he has no fucking idea what to say. He’s - what?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,914
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    2 versions
    AO3:
    #82810191

  20. the bisexual fairy godmother of the NHL by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
    • ?
    • ✓

    2026-04-02

    5 times Ilya played matchmaker to the queer guys in the league and showed them that he has insane gaydar and is extremely perceptive (and to maybe make sure they absolutely did not ask out his Shane, even when that wasn't happening, but you know Ilya he is so obsessed with Shane he assumes that everyone wants to date his man)
    +1 time they found out Rozanov wasn't just an ally

    or

    5 times Ilya played matchmaker
    +1 time everyone found out he is not just an ally

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,974
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #80184366
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