1 – 20 of 150 Works in Implied/Referenced Suicide

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  1. Clarity in the Fog by

    Heated Rivalry (TV)
    • M

    2026-10-28

    Five years married and settled, Shane and Ilya want for nothing. Except, perhaps, for the impossible.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,991
    Chapters:
    3/7
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #94561886

  2. Dear PenPal, Cry Every Day Until My Next Letter by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
    • ?

    2026-10-22

    In 2003, Shane Hollander is assigned a PenPal, and gains a friend. A friend who smokes, calls him boring, and gives him ridiculous nicknames.

    Across the world, Ilya Rozanov practices his English with a curious Canadian boy whose name he can't fucking remember.

    Or, before they were Canada's Shane Hollander and Russia's Ilya Rozanov, they were Cat and Elijah. Shane has no reason to suspect his childhood PenPal is his hockey rival, and Ilya has never even considered that the man he's falling for is also the boy he already fell in love with through letters and postcards.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    273,466
    Chapters:
    38/?
    Files:
    2 versions
    AO3:
    #80799901

  3. Shane Hollander is a Slut by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, NHL Hockey Setting
    • E

    2026-10-21

    Shane Hollander comes out and unleashes Shane Hollander Hysteria across the NHL.
    All-stars circle like it's free agency and he’s the only contract available.
    DMs combust. Rival captains get bold.
    Connections start forming faster than anyone can keep up.
    The Metros couldn’t care less because Shane keeps dominating on the ice while getting fucked in multiple time zones.
    It becomes the worst-kept secret in professional hockey: everyone wants their turn.
    Or:
    Shane Hollander comes out and discovers freedom can look like a lot of things.
    Sometimes it looks like sex across time zones.
    Sometimes it looks like queer community forming around him across the league.
    Sometimes it looks like becoming the most confident version of himself he has ever been.
    Shane Hollander is having a great time.
    This fic is loud, messy, and sometimes a little ridiculous until it isn’t.

    Shane-centric.
    Multiple partners/poly dynamics.
    Character studies of many different men.
    Finding queer joy and community.
    Autism, mental illness, and different attachment styles.
    Or as I like to say..
    A slow emotional horror story inside a romcom porno.


    Language:
    English
    Words:
    551,139
    Chapters:
    51/?
    Files:
    3 versions
    AO3:
    #80154636

  4. October 31, on a road outside Montreal by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types, Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
    • E
    • ?

    2026-10-20

    October 31st. It was after ten p.m., so the streetlamps and other cars’ headlights glowed eerie in the pounding rain on Route 342 toward Montreal. Not that the sky would have been any brighter at six, these days. That was what time did to you: pickpocketed summer sun and warmth until, before you knew it, you were forty-two and your coach was playing you on the second line more and more.

    --

    Shane Hollander, age 42, crashes his car on a stormy Halloween night and accepts a ride from a handsome stranger on a motorbike.

    This is a spooky Halloween story, but also a story about getting older, the burden of perfection and the loneliness of the closet.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,800
    Chapters:
    1/3
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #95034991

  5. Some secrets won't be kept. by

    Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
    • E
    • ✓

    2026-10-18

    Shane Hollander has built himself around routine, his life blood is hockey. Struggling to understand his team off the ice and the people around him, he carves out a few silent hours to himself. It's just him and his skates. But the hard fought peace is fragile, like cracks in too thin ice. It only takes a slight impact to shatter. Shane is fighting to hold his team and himself together as everything comes crashing down around him.

    Someone hacks into Rose Landry's phone in a club, they then release the images of Shane's texts online and all hell breaks loose. Shane is left to pick up the pieces. Ilya makes some choices in the aftermath that change everything. Shane decides to stop hiding and Ilya is a possessive asshole who makes it everyone else's problem. With far less reason to hide himself anymore, Shane begins to show more of who he really is behind the polite, media worthy façade. They instead find a team who are ready to fight the world for each other and a found family that has far reaching threads.

    Maybe Shane can have both Hockey and Ilya. The world will just have to deal with it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,044,316
    Chapters:
    92/92
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #77947336

  6. Store-bought is fine by

    Heated Rivalry (TV)
    • M

    2026-10-15

    Ilya Rozanov does not come pre-installed with good communication or healthy coping skills. Is he going to seek out help on his own? Hell no! But when a family member kills himself, fellow Boston Raider and friend Cliff Marleau decides that Ilya is going to therapy come hell or high water. And Ilya... well, Ilya is just playing along to keep the peace. Right? He doesn't need therapy. But if it helps his friend be less worried, so be it.

    OR

    Therapy helps Ilya upskill enough to diffuse the tuna meltdown. Things get better after that. And then they get worse, because mental health is a bitch not linear.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    33,819
    Chapters:
    6/12
    Files:
    3 versions
    AO3:
    #78436336

  7. the furthest one by

    Heated Rivalry (TV)
    • E
    • ?
    • ✓

    2026-10-13

    You did not say last. Pilots did not say it. You said krainii, the furthest one. Then you came back, and there was another one after it.

    The Long Game, Ilya, the plane, the messages, and the one he takes back.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,694
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #94599946

  8. Don’t Let the Sun Go by

    Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types, Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
    • E
    • ✓

    2026-10-11

    After dying in a plane crash in 2021, Ilya wakes up in a nondescript hotel room, identical to hundreds he has stayed in during his decade-long NHL career. Is he in Hell? Mama is not here. Neither is Shane.

    But then the phone rings; a representative from CCM wants to confirm Ilya will be on time to his photo shoot with Shane Hollander.

    On the way to the rink, Ilya, who learned from the very best, makes a multi-step plan:

    1. Texting
    2. No sleeping around
    3. Friends
    4. First names
    5. Boyfriends

    Ilya made Shane fall in love with him once. He can do it again.

    He has to.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    64,615
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Files:
    2 versions
    AO3:
    #93742091

  9. Lie Down with Dogs by

    Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
    • E

    2026-10-08

    Shane Hollander enters his rookie season focused on one thing only: playing the best damn hockey he can, and earning a spot in history as one of the greatest players in the league. Standing between him and his goal is Boston’s own promising young rookie, Alexei Rozanov.

    Shane doesn’t particularly care about having a rival, but Rozanov seems as good a choice as any. He’s rude, arrogant, obnoxious off the ice and frustrating on it. And he’s pretty damn good at hockey.

    Unfortunately, he also has a younger brother, who Shane finds much more interesting.

    The Hollander-Rozanov rivalry is alive and well. And caught in the middle of it, is Ilya.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,432
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #94197561

  10. Gatorade Galas & Moscow Mules by

    Heated Rivalry (TV)
    • E
    • ✓

    2026-10-04

    Shane Hollander is worried about everyone and everything.

    Ilya is mostly just sick of air travel.

    Or:
    Shane and Ilya are having trouble balancing their very private relationship and their very public lives.

    A slice of life.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    109,256
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Files:
    4 versions
    AO3:
    #76866546

  11. the toughest part is that we both know (what happened to you, why you’re out on your own) by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
    • E

    2026-09-20

    Ilya wasn’t trying to kill himself that night. Suicide is something that belongs to his mother- he’s just lazy, and he wishes Shane would stop making excuses for him.

    Shane has everything under control. His body is a tool, the one that’s given him both his career and his relationship, and he wishes Ilya would stop prying into the way he maintains it.

    or: Ilya learns a whole lot more about his mother, Shane remembers a whole lot more about his childhood, and they both get diagnosed.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    66,519
    Chapters:
    9/19
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #79324761

  12. those lovely myriads by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types, Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
    • M
    • !
    • ✓

    2026-09-15

    Irina is beautiful and funny and smart.

    Irina is a good mother. She does all the things good mothers are supposed to do.

    And she is so, so bitter.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,231
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #92659661

  13. the dominoes cascaded in a line by

    Heated Rivalry (TV)
    • M

    2026-09-14

    Ilya's been taking care of himself for so long, and not always doing a very good job of it. It would be understandable, Ilya thinks, if Shane didn’t really know how to do it yet. Not when they’re only a month into being married and three months into being honest and less than a year since that hotel room in Tampa, where Shane had climbed into his lap and let Ilya cry into his shoulder and held him like no one had held Ilya since he was very small.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,879
    Chapters:
    3/4
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #92172556

  14. Stupid Canadian Jailbird by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
    • E
    • !
    • ✓

    2026-08-31

    Shane and Ilya get arrested hours after Team Canada wins the World Junior Championship. From one day to the next, their lives are flipped upside down. As prisoners – er, incarcerated persons –, they are no longer climbing the hockey social ladder. They are no longer rival captains and star hockey players bearing responsibility for their nations’ and their future MLH teams’ hopes. They are nothing more than cellmates awaiting trial, caught in a tedious cycle of empty days where privacy is a distant memory. However will they pass the time?

    Good thing they have each other. Now if only they could be honest about their feelings... Ideally, before they're released and face the legal and professional consequences of their venture into crime.

    ***

    OR a fact-ridden, funny, and frustrating romance set in one of the world's least romantic and most devastating environments, courtesy of a prison scholar.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    56,694
    Chapters:
    15/15
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #89569931

  15. things go to hell (now that i've found it) by

    Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
    • M
    • ✓

    2026-08-24

    "The thing is, Shane has always thought he was going to retire in Montreal. He’s spent his whole childhood watching his mom praise them, and wanting to be just like them. He’s had dreams of his jersey getting retired here. He doesn’t want to leave. He wants everything to go back to how it was before Hayden showed up at his door yesterday. He wants to retire a Voyager, he wants to be a Voyager, he’s always wanted to be a Voyager. But he can’t turn back time, and he can’t make himself think that the environment is going to magically get better. He’s already muted the Montreal Voyagers chat after too many jokes at his expense. If they’re that confident behind a screen, who knows how they’ll feel in person. He’s their captain. He should be better than this. This shouldn’t be getting to him. He wants to stop thinking about this. He wants Ilya."

    or:
    Shane gets outed to Montreal a lot earlier than he originally planned to (aka never). The plan he and Ilya made needs to change drastically, as Shane finds himself the one trading teams instead of Ilya. Some things stay the same, but some things change.

    OR:
    The Shane gets traded to New Jersey fic that no one asked for but I wanted to write.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    190,634
    Chapters:
    30/30
    Files:
    2 versions
    AO3:
    #80710956

  16. like a time bomb in a storm by

    Heated Rivalry (TV)
    • T
    • ✓

    2026-08-22

    When Ilya set his blades on the freshly surfaced sheet of the Bell Centre at the feet of mostly empty seats, he could breathe for the first time in what felt like weeks. Everything still seemed louder than it had been before he’d been called back to Moscow, but it fell away with the familiar motions. The equally familiar smell of well-used hockey equipment, the reassuring tightness of his gear – forget breathing; Ilya felt like he was waking up from a nightmare.

    It was bliss.

    And then the second period started and the nightmare came crashing back down.

    Following his father’s funeral, Ilya’s senses go haywire and his longing for Hollander intensifies. But Ilya has a career to think of, which has no space for any of that. Unfortunately, fate has other ideas for him …

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,765
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #90634431

  17. Shane Hollander Doesn’t Do Cheat Days by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types, Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
    • M
    • ✓

    2026-08-19

    Shane Hollander doesn’t do cheat days. Not with his training. Not with his diet. Not with his life. Then a ridiculously attractive Russian-Italian chef in Milano force-feeds him the best ravioli he’s ever had and calls him a good boy and things spiral from there. Between Olympic pressure, impossible expectations, and a connection neither of them is ready to name, Shane finds himself unraveling in ways he doesn’t understand.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    46,967
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #83764621

  18. To whoever finds this by

    Heated Rivalry (TV)
    • ?
    • ✓

    2026-08-18

    His mom flowed from his pen in the form of ink when he wrote the letter. A letter which meant ‘just in case’. Just in case he can’t control himself, if he doesn’t wake up, if he…you know. Ilya never planned on killing himself, but going willingly or not, the cruel scythe of death that took away his mother could come for him anytime. So he wrote a letter. It wasn’t addressed to anyone specific, just to the unlucky soul who will find him one day when this piece of paper becomes relevant. Or Ilya writes suicide notes. Years later, Shane finds them and thinks they are recent. A misunderstanding is born.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,662
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #90804546

  19. when the lights go out by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types, Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
    • M
    • !
    • ✓

    2026-08-18

    Ilya feels his phone buzz a few times on his way to the elevator, probably everyone confirming they are on the move. He waits until the doors close to check who their group will be tonight.

    Lane: I’m out guys my ankle is killing me

    Chuck: pussy

    Tanner: cmon Lane don’t be a baby

    Lars: we are coming down as soon as Nosey stops texting his mommy

    Nosey: uh guys wtf
    Nosey: did you see this?
    Nosey: http://www.twitter.com/cnnbrk/status/2693739470000000036

    Marly: holy shit
    Marly: did someone try to kill Hollander

    or

    The season after Sochi and the Las Vegas night, Ilya comes back from the summer ready to reignite his hookups with Shane Hollander. But the Metros captain seems to have bigger problems, mainly, that someone might be trying to kill him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    33,352
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #88534971

  20. A Cloud Around His Body by

    Heated Rivalry (TV)
    • M
    • ?
    • ✓

    2026-08-15

    Cocaine was somehow everywhere in Shane’s life, at every party, in every pre-season lecture from coaches, in every post-season warning, every wild story the guys told to tempt the rookies into pleasure and scare them into line. And yet, Shane didn’t actually know much about it. He was too chicken, too prudish, maybe. He thought he was too good to ever need to know. Maybe Rozanov was right.

    “Okay.” Ilya’s agreement startled Shane from his thoughts. “My Jane… she is good lay, mm? The best, maybe. And she doesn’t like coke, not even for fun. So, I will not do it. One year. To prove a point and keep her happy. I do not have addiction problem, so will be easy-peazy. And when I win, I will get whatever I want. Okay?”

    -x-

    Or, my Shane and Ilya cocaine thesis

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    31,661
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #88359656
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