1 – 8 of 8 Works in Past Suicide Attempts
- Past Suicide Attempts ×
-
the toughest part is that we both know (what happened to you, why you’re out on your own) by Anonymous
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-09-20
Ilya wasn’t trying to kill himself that night. Suicide is something that belongs to his mother- he’s just lazy, and he wishes Shane would stop making excuses for him.
Shane has everything under control. His body is a tool, the one that’s given him both his career and his relationship, and he wishes Ilya would stop prying into the way he maintains it.
or: Ilya learns a whole lot more about his mother, Shane remembers a whole lot more about his childhood, and they both get diagnosed.
- Part 3 of Merry Christmas, Please Don't Call
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 66,519
- Chapters:
- 9/19
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #79324761
-
How to Make Perfect Tonkatsu by Anonymous
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
2026-08-14
The Montreal Metros are out of the playoffs, and Shane’s just found out that his grandmother has died. For reasons he doesn’t understand, she’s left him her dog, a poorly-trained mutt named after his childhood favorite food. And to make matters worse, the Ottawa dog park where he goes to train Tonkatsu is apparently the new hangout of one Ilya Rozanov.
Shane doesn’t know why his rival was traded to Ottawa, or how he gets his dog Anya to behave so easily. He shouldn’t be so fascinated by Rozanov, but he can’t help but be drawn to him. And the dogs aren’t helping.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 42,393
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #88631721
-
It’s Kind of a Funny Story by Anonymous
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-07-17
His stomach takes a sharp, screeching left. His heart stalls and then shifts into gear, zero to 180, every tired tract of him seizing and squealing to go, run, leave.
“Hey, I found him,” Tony says, finishing a conversation Ilya wasn’t in, easy like all conversations without Ilya are. Easy like the world isn’t ending. Like Ilya isn’t standing there, wishing every time he tried to self-destruct or kill himself had worked.
Greasy black hair. Sallow freckled skin. A turned head and horror-widened eyes taking in the big bad monster who finally arrived onscreen.
“Shane, Ilya; Ilya, Shane,” Tony says, totally oblivious. “You both like hockey, right? So that’s something in common. I’ve got to take lunch, but I’ll check in on you both before my shift is over.”
Nobody knows if Ilya Rozanov tried to kill himself before the draft. Nobody sane goes first overall. And nobody knows if Shane Hollander is going to survive another mediocre season with the Boston Raiders.
Isn’t it funny how a single nick in the ice can change the entire game?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 31,604
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #88732591
-
The week before the 2017 All-Star Game, Ilya Rozanov is placed on IR. Ten days later, he disappears from the league entirely. Boston says nothing, and for once, a notoriously fickle league closes ranks.
Every attempt Shane makes to find him hits a wall. In one last desperate, life-altering bid to reach him, Shane comes out to the world, only to be met with Ilya’s silence.
By the time the 2020/21 season begins, Shane has nothing left but hockey and regret. He builds a dynasty, guts his life, and pins the last scraps of his hope on the Metros’ newest transfer, the dangerously hot-headed Cliff Marlow.
Stepping back into the public eye after the worst three years of his life, all Ilya wants is to find some kind of purpose. Shane is done with him, he made that much clear. Ilya isn't about to try to convince himself otherwise. He just wants to prove he still has some use left in him.
Fortunately for both of them, they're still fucking stupid for each other.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 279,247
- Chapters:
- 36/36
- Files:
- 3 versions
- AO3:
- #81325346
-
Saved On Purpose by Anonymous
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types, Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-05-25
“Yay!” Ilya giggles and throws his head back, settling back into the pillows. He smiles dreamily at Shane. “I’m glad I didn’t kill myself.”
Shane freezes and Scott stiffens. His words come out slowly, horrified by what he’s just heard. Maybe it was a fluke or an offhanded dead joke. “What did you say?”OR
Ilya suffers a concussion and while high on pain medication, he accidentally reveals his attempt the previous summer.
- Part 7 of Seasoned Gay to the Rescue
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,230
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #85480911
-
He Used To Be A Lovely Boy by Midnight_w0nder
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-03-14
In which Irina never died, but Ilya still inherited her sadness. Or, Shane navigates Ilya’s suicide attempt with Irina.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,139
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #81209021
-
Shane Hollander is struggling to make ends meet. After his best friend Hayden sets up a dating profile for him on a sugar baby website, he learns that there are some men who will pay for anything - even companionship.
** EPILOGUE ADDED 02/20/26 **
- Part 5 of Hollanov
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 31,935
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #75530036
-
Secrets Taken Not Quite to the Grave (But to the Couch) by stabthroughme
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-01-23
Marleau is really good at keeping secrets. He's also really good at hinting when he knows things. Ilya, however, is a dense fucking idiot sometimes. (Suicide Attempts tag is there for reference, it is not on the page and is not made light of)
- Part 9 of In The Loonie Bin (Mars' Hollanov Fics)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,822
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 2 versions
- AO3:
- #78141466