21 – 40 of 56 Works in Angst and Feels

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  1. Ilya had never really let himself picture it before. Not for too long, anyway. Himself at twelve, standing in that doorway, seeing her lifeless body on the bed. He didn’t have any photographs of himself from that age, which made it easier to keep the memory at a distance. Just a fact. Something that happened to a version of himself he barely remembered being. Niko turning twelve closed that distance. Ilya is going through a depressive episode. Which is hitting differently now that his son is the same age he was when his mom died.

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    AO3:
    #82232731
  2. tend(er) by

    Heated Rivalry (TV)
    • M
    • ✓

    2026-03-27

    Shane should be here right now, should be in Ilya’s house. Ilya should be teasing him about being picky while going through delivery options for food on his phone. Shane should be discovering that Ilya has ginger ale in the fridge and the protein bars Shane mentioned liking in an interview in his pantry. He should be making out with Shane on the couch, sneaking a hand into his pants, teasing him about whether they can beat the deliveryman and arrive before he does. Shane was supposed to spend the night tonight, the Montreal team not set to leave until tomorrow afternoon because of potential bad weather in the morning. Shane should be fed and showered and ready to curl up in bed with Ilya tonight.
    But Shane is in a hospital.

    And Ilya is here.

    He pulls up Jane in his phone again. He presses call.

    “Hey, you’ve reached Shane Hollander-”

    Ilya closes his eyes and lets Shane’s voice roll over him.

    (canon divergence in which shane getting injured happens during a game in boston) (...which means shane then gets to go home with ilya to recover)

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    AO3:
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  3. The Montreal vs. Boston rivalry is a thing of legend.

    Only Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov know what lives underneath it.

    When someone calling themselves The Loon begins leaving cryptic and threatening messages, Shane and Ilya understand two things:

    Someone knows.

    And they cannot ask for help without explaining why.

    The Loon believes something sacred has been corrupted.

    They intend to correct it.

    Language:
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    19/19
    Files:
    2 versions
    AO3:
    #80377136
  4. Breaking News by

    Heated Rivalry (TV)
    • T
    • ✓

    2026-03-22

    Uploaded to one of the biggest sports broadcasts in the entire industry, the Metro's are blindsided when texts between Shane and Rozanov are leaked one afternoon. They're even more surprised to find how many they have, how far back they span, and just how intimate they are.

    ---

    “You know what I’m thinking about?” JJ asked with no specific person in mind.

    “Please don’t say Ilya’s thighs,” Hayden pleaded, pinching the bridge of his nose.

    “First of all, ew, no,” he replied instantly. “Second of all, don’t call him Ilya, it’s weird.”

    “It’s his name!” Hayden retorted, defensively. “We should get used to using it considering he and Shane are…you know.”

    Sleeping together sounded crass, but dating seemed too romantic, too. Not that there hadn’t been some pretty romantic texts to sort through. He couldn’t really figure out what the word that felt best was, or if there even was one.

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    AO3:
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  5. Couple watching is Sebbin’s favourite Valentine’s Day activity, and Boston on Valentine’s Day is full of restaurants with red paper hearts taped to the windows, red dresses and flowers, and a hockey player called Brad Hammersmith pretending they’re just best friends who sleep together sometimes.

    Or, Seb loves love, and Hammer would like to stop overthinking their relationship.

    POV Brad Hammersmith :)

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    AO3:
    #81599076
  6. It's Lunar New Year and Shane wants to honor everyone that has passed in his life that helped make it what it is today.

    Or, Shane puts something that reminds Ilya of Irina on his altar to honor her too.

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    AO3:
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  7. Ilya rubbed at his face with both hands, trying to knead the heaviness away. It didn’t budge. Probably just caught something from the kids, he thought to himself. Some kind of virus. Except he'd been feeling like this for weeks now. Maybe longer. It was hard to tell. The days blurred when you were tired, and he’d been tired for longer than he wanted to admit. Maybe it was something still lingering in his system. That happened sometimes, right? Viruses could hang around. He'd read that somewhere. Post-viral fatigue. Yeah. That was probably it. Some dormant virus still working its way out of him. Or, Ilya and Shane are married with kids, living the life they fought for. But Ilya's depression is rearing its ugly head again.

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    AO3:
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  8. Ilya was only a few strides behind Shane on the ice. He clocked the angle before the hit even landed; Marlow coming in too hot, too fast, shoulder high. Shane turned and slowed at the wrong moment, skates clipping, balance gone. Impact. The sound carried oddly through the arena, duller than boards, sharper than ice. Shane went down hard, helmet skidding, body twisting. And then it all happened at once. Skates tangled. Marlow stumbled over him as he fell, too. A skate’s blade flashed too close, too sharp. -------------------------------- Shane's injuries during the Boston/Montreal game are much more life-threatening than in canon. Ilya's quick thinking and bone-deep instincts are the only reason he survives.

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    AO3:
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  9. “You are so pretty, Hollander. Your freckles err— take my breath.”

    Shane glares. “Rozanov, you can’t say that here,” he says through gritted teeth. “They can hear us.”

    “Who gives a fuck?” He declares with a careless shrug. “Whole world knows we are lovers, so what?”

    The world most definitely does not need to know that he’s on Ilya’s extensive fuck buddies roster.

    Or

    According to Ilya, Shane is the best boyfriend anyone could ask for. If you ask Shane, he’ll tell you they are just fuck buddies.

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    Chapters:
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    AO3:
    #78940096
  10. Yuna Hollander… got his number from Hayden Pike? Two people he has rarely if ever spoken to, yet who are undeniably important to Shane. Two people who have absolutely no reason to have his phone number.

    His eyes scan back up and snag on that name. Lily.

    She thinks she’s talking to Lily.

    Ilya’s hands move before his brain. He doesn’t bother to worry about where she could’ve heard the name from, not when he knows Shane never talks to anyone about what they do. No one should know about Lily, but Mrs. Hollander somehow does. She is offering him some kind of information, and he doesn’t care what he has to do to get it—pretending to be Shane’s Boston hookup is nothing.

    --

    Ilya's POV of where nobody knows you

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    AO3:
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  11. “Fuck.” Shane melted into the strong hand at his neck, the pressure over his throat and the heat of the Alpha’s palm. “Fuck, that’s–” his eyes started to flutter closed, his knees going weak, but he heard the Alpha huff a laugh and immediately stiffened again. “Don’t do that.” he warned. “Don’t laugh like me letting you put your hand on my throat is predictable submissive Omega behavior and you're making fun of me." “That is not why i was laughing.” Ilya squeezed Shane’s throat lightly, his thumb pressing over the suppressant patch covering the Omega's bonding spot and blocking his sweet scent. “I thought you would fight it, fight submitting. But you didn’t.” “No I–” Shane swallowed hard. “I like it.” “Good.” Ilya smiled slow and a little dangerous, running his tongue over his bottom lip and then over the sharp ends of his fangs before he leaned in and growled into the Omega’s ear. “Now get on your knees.”

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    Chapters:
    10/10
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    2 versions
    AO3:
    #76264181
  12. After a moment, Hayden pulls back. Then he hands her the phone—Shane’s phone. “I grabbed this when I was getting his stuff and I saw, well.” He looks away from Yuna, briefly glances at David, then looks away from him too. There’s an oddly guilty look on his face that has Yuna suspicious at once. “Um, has Shane told you guys about Lily?” -- AKA, Yuna and David find out about Lily, Shane’s... girlfriend?, while he's in the hospital. It's a while before they find out about Ilya. Featuring: - high Shane - Ilya angst - theories about who Lily could be - Yuna & "Lily" texting - identity shenanigans

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    3 versions
    AO3:
    #77532186
  13. “Hollander,” Ilya sighs and comes to sit next to him. “We can't be more. This is all you get.” Shane really tries not to get mad, because yes he understands. This is all he gets. “Yeah, because it's not that it's a guy that is the problem, it's me right?” Ilya frowns. “What the fuck are you talking about?” “You had no problem letting him be all over you today,” Shane is aware of how jealous he sounds. He doesn't care. If this is the last conversation they'll be having, he needs to make sure he says everything. Or, what if Ilya thought Shane was going to bring Rose to the All Stars Game so he brought Svetlana and Sasha with him?

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    AO3:
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  14. When Roz starts speaking, frantically letting out Russian words from his hospital bed, Troy jumps in fear. “Ty emu uzhe pozvonila? Gde mama?” While Troy might not know Russian, or any other Slavic language that might have offered him some sort of context, he understands the word for mother. His heart clenches in his chest. Calling for your mom, especially when you’re hurt and confused feels instinctive. Troy is pretty sure he’d do the same thing. But the thought of coming out of your dazed state while desperately wanting your mom, and the loss of your mom coming crashing down on you must be a different type of agony. Roz starts speaking again, Russian coming to him easier than English must. “Mama? Gde moya mama?”

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    AO3:
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  15. Shane feels his feelings after the locker room scene in The Long Game i.e. Shane finally gets to crash out about being Asian-Canadian in a majority white sport and all the things that comes with.

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    AO3:
    #78093371
  16. Ilya is recovering after the brain surgery but recovery rerely is a straight line. And Ilya, done with hospitals, is up to mischief. Fortunately, Shane is there to make sure Ilya stays alive. *** This is set between "Hold On (I Still Want You)" and "Come Back (I Still Need You)" and focuses on Ilya's recovery after the brain surgery he underwent. It can be read as stand-alone but I think it's probably best to read at least first part of my series to get some context!

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    AO3:
    #78000851
  17. Shane collapses into Ilya’s arms after a game! Ilya, who can only watch as his boyfriend slowly dies in the hospital, is beyond devastated and desperate for a miracle. Fortunately, a surprise ally comes to help both boys! —————— “Shane is strong,” Ilya declared, snarling at the doctor like he was an opponent in a hockey game. “He will not die.” The doctor offered a kind, indulgent smile. “He’s almost settled in a room. I’ll send a nurse to get you when you can see him.” The man went to leave but stopped just outside the door. “Just so you’re not surprised… He’s a little confused, probably from the fever. He’s not making much sense.” “In what way?” David asked. “He keeps talking to someone—a woman who’s not actually there.” “Who?” asked Ilya.

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    AO3:
    #77240881
  18. He is out of breath when he reaches the lockers' floor, eyes sweeping the corridor ahead with the frenzy of small animals, their twitchy hearts racing as if constantly hunted down. Shane lets out a loud, shaky exhale when he finally sees him. Ilya is standing on the other side of the dim hallway, the crude light of his phone on his face making him stand out, almost ghastly in the dark. He is leaning against the wall by the green exit sign, frowning, and biting his lips. Shane doesn’t call his name. He flies to him like a moth to a flame.

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    AO3:
    #77681066
  19. “Do not worry,” Ilya breathed against his lips. As if Shane had a choice in the matter. As if worry hadn’t kept Shane awake past midnight for weeks, as if he wasn’t scared to leave the house for too long in case Ilya did something stupid in his absence. He’d promised he wouldn’t. Several times over. Shane wanted to believe him, he did, but the worse Ilya’s depression got the more hollow the promise felt. “I always worry about you,” Shane said softly, pushing Ilya’s hair back from his forehead.

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    AO3:
    #77500956
  20. Five people get a glimpse of Ilya Rozanov and the one person who has seen him all along.

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    English
    Words:
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    Chapters:
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    Files:
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    AO3:
    #76577306
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