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  1. “Did, uh,” Frankie starts. She sounds faint. “Did you just say your boyfriend?”

    Ilya’s stomach drops. Oh. Oh, fuck.

    He doesn’t know what his face does. There will probably be pictures of this moment all over the internet by tomorrow morning. He doubts it’s flattering, considering there’s a non-zero chance he’s going to throw up all over the microphone.

    Ilya scrambles. Too tired, too shocked at his own brain’s betrayal to know how to fix this. “Blyat,” he spits. Then he laughs, and even he can hear that it sounds more wild than genuine. “English language is hard, yes? I meant my boys, my boys who are my friends. The Centaurs, yes? They are all my boy friends.”

    OR

    Ilya Rozanov has a no-good, very bad two days and accidentally outs himself. He's not having a great time.

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    AO3:
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  2. “Can’t hang out tonight, Hayd. I have plans.”

    “Bullshit,” Hayden responds. “You never have plans.”

    Objectively, this used to be true. Nowadays Shane has many, many plans, between his nightly plans to look at Ilya’s penis through Skype and his various long-term plans laid out helpfully in his notebook, Canva (For Ilya’s sake. He is a visual learner), and more recently, Excel. Shane loves that excel sheet. He’s colour coded it.

     

    In 2017, Shane Hollander spirals and proposes to his boyfriend of 4 days (or 7 years, or 9 years, or not his boyfriend at all, depending on how you look at it), which leads to a lot of plans, weird theories in the Montreal Voyageur locker room, some Twitter drama, and Ilya Rozanov entering his WAG era.

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    3 versions
    AO3:
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  3. OttaWAGs retell the stories of how they met their hockey significant others and Ilya just wants to spend more time with his in-laws. Or How the OttaWAGs find out about the Hollanov timeline. Ilya is one of the girls and that’s the canon I’m going with. Takes place in the early days after Shane joins the Centaurs.

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  4. “You know why I got them, yes?” “I know why you think you got them.” “Is our anniversary.” “No, it’s not.” The sound of Shane’s stick blade hitting another puck reverberated through the otherwise empty rink. “I am the kind of guy who remembers those things,” Ilya leaned as close as he dared, snatching one of the pucks and taking a shot of his own before Shane could go again. He let out a pleased hum at himself as it sank into the upper left corner. “You’re fucking not. You’re the kinda guy who gets his roommate flowers to be an asshole, actually. You know, I’ve never met a single other person who’s ever done that.” Ilya gave an exaggerated pout, “You are being mean to me on our roommate anniversary.” “Are you going to do this every fucking year?” • • • • • • Ilya buys Shane flowers to celebrate the anniversary of them living together in their university apartment. Shane finds this a particularly asshole move from Ilya, considering they started living together in September and it's currently January. They spend most of the day arguing about it, until Shane finally comes clean about the deeper reason his roommate's "gift" has left him so off-kilter all day.

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  5. Cardiac tamponade: pressure on that heart that prevents it from filling and beating adequately.

    Shane thought he knew two things: his move to Ottawa would cause chaos, and that the Ottawa Centaurs were nice.

    As it turned out, he only knew one of those things.

    (Or: the Cens are still a team of professional hockey players. They're going to fuck up.)

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  6. Shane is not having an easy time doing press now that he plays for the Centaurs. He asks Ilya to help, resulting in a bet. Ilya's reward if he breaks? A secret.

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  7. A second, then a blur. Ilya knocking over one of the kitchen island stools to engulf Shane. His shaking frame holding Shane so tight, Shane felt himself shaking back. He could only hold on back, just as tightly.
    “Please.” Came the strangled voice by his left ear. “Please, tell me.”
    And who was Shane to ever deny a wish of Ilya Rozanov.
    “I’m signing to Ottawa. Tomorrow. If you would want to come with.”
    And then Ilya was shoving him back, holding him close to his face. “Of course. I drive. Of course I come.”
    Or
    Shane, fed up with Montreal, signs to Ottawa before their relationship is revealed. While he doesn't plan on keeping that a secret for long, he asks Ilya to let him get to know the team first, before they come out. To maybe have a normal season. Meanwhile, the rest of the Centaurs are going crazy trying to figure out what is going on between their captain and Shane Hollander and why they keep showing up in the same car??

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    AO3:
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  8. Pike was back to calling Roz by his first name. This whole thing was really weird. Zane didn’t even know they were friends. But now Hayden Pike was on the phone, asking about Rozanov like they’re best buddies, or long lost lovers. He’s begging, he’s desperate, and Zane has never been more confused in his life.


    When Zane Boodram receives a text from his wife after their almost plane crash in Tampa, telling him to please call this number because there’s someone on the other end who desperately needs to speak to his Captain, he definitely is not expecting Hayden Pike of the Montreal Voyageurs to be the person on the other end of the call.

    Whilst he tries very hard to listen to Barrett and mind his own business about the whole thing, he’s got one question that he can’t stop swirling around his head.

    Are Ilya Rozanov and Hayden Pike together?

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  9. June 2016

    Shane hefts the Stanley Cup over his head for a second time, a numb joy settling over him.

    The partners and families of the Voyageurs flood down to the ice in a rush. His parents have come down, visibly proud.

    And yet this year, it somehow feels a little worse, because Ilya wasn't next to them, cheering in a HOLLANDER jersey.

    After coming out as friends and revealing the figure skating rivalry in their families, Shane and Ilya must face the challenges of the coming years, while Yuuri and Yuri face dilemmas of their own...

    In which I ask the question: What if Shane and Ilya went to the Quebec Nordiques?

    A direct sequel to brátishka, featuring social media, texting, emails, and a whole lot of canon divergence.

    Extras start in Chapter 14!

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  10. Shane was fourteen the first time a number felt like safety.

    The nutritionist worked out of an office in Kanata, framed certificates, a calm voice, laminated charts with columns. She explained it simply: fuel in, output required, timing of each. She said it was a starting point.

    Shane took notes in the margins the way he took notes on everything—completely, past what was required. Yuna had found the nutritionist herself, sat beside him, and took notes too.

    Like mother, like son.

    -

    Or: Shane’s system works until it doesn’t; Ilya notices first.

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  11. After the Centaurs’ emergency landing, Jane stops texting Ilya. The team begins to wonder if their captain’s mysterious girlfriend deserves him. Then Shane Hollander walks into the Tampa IHOP where the Centaurs are having breakfast.

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  12. The trials and tribulations of Luca Haas, Hollanov Truther and RPF Warrior.

    He just knows that Ilya Rozanov moved to Ottawa to be closer to Shane Hollander, and that when Roz disappears, it's to drive to Montreal and fuck nasty with Hollander. Unfortunately, he can't exactly share his conspiracy theory in the Centaurs team chat when they start speculating about where Rozanov disappears to during his free time.

    Initially based on this tumblr post

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  13. HARRIS: Triple B?

    CAITLIN: Boring

    CASSIE: Bummer

    LISA: BIG FAT ASS

    More Real Housewives shenanigans

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  14. Shane: You know, believe it or not, eating women out actually wasn't my favorite pastime Ilya: Sure. Shane: Ilya. I’m GAY Ilya: Not too gay to eat lots of pussy In which the women Shane has slept with share their experiences on social media, Shane and Ilya both react totally normally, and Hayden would like some clarity on his best friend's sex life A sequel to "ten out of ten"

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    3 versions
    AO3:
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  15. The flight attendant just shook her head. “No, sir”, she said slowly, enunciating just a tad too much, like they she was talking to a bunch of idiots, “I’m certain that’s not a misspelling. There are two entirely different names on here, I am afraid” “They can’t have misspelled it that much, that can’t be true!”, Barrett exclaimed, still laughing. But Ilya’s heart dropped as realisation hit. She was right. There were two entirely different names on there. -- OR: after Ilya takes Shane's last name, he forgets to book his own flight and the entire team gets a good look at his passport. Which definitely doesn't read "Ilya Rozanov" - no matter how wrongly you might spell Rozanov.

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  16. Shane should be proud because he was the only one who put a ring on and locked the notoriously untamable Ilya Rozanov down. Everyone knows. The world made it a big deal. So why are girls still acting like his husband is someone available? Why do strangers still look at his husband like he’s fair game? And why does he feel the pit in his stomach over some half-drunk thoughts of random girls in a bar or some girl’s wandering hands on Ilya? Maybe it’s the alcohol. Or something else. Either way, Shane decides to do something about it. OR: Shane Hollander-Rozanov realizes he has a dangerously low tolerance for alcohol and for watching other girls flirt with his husband.

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    AO3:
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  17. Bood only laughs and lets the video loop over from the start, reaching out to clap a hand down onto Ilya’s shoulder. “You’ll understand one of these days, kid.”

    Ilya's beer tastes sour on his tongue.

    I already understand, Ilya thinks desperately. I have a daughter and she is the best thing to happen to me except for the man that I made her with and I am full of so much love that I could burst.

    And he can say none of it out loud.

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  18. What's a girl to do on a lonely night in Montreal? Log in to her burner account to embarrass "her" secret boyfriend publicly, some holds barred

    ---
    OR: Shane takes his revenge for all of Ilya's embarrassing thirst tweets.

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  19. “Wait, shit, is it really dirty?”

    He glances over to Ilya, who is now dutifully collecting cones. “It’s not dirty,” Shane laughs.

    “So what’s the hangup, then?”

    “It’s… kinda hard to translate.” He continues before Bood can call him on that, “it sounds more old-fashioned in English. Or, it’s fine in Russian, more like. It means my beloved. Or darling, kind of. Russian’s hard to translate directly sometimes.”

    “Man. That’s some Bridgerton shit.”

    5 times the Centaurs hear Ilya call Shane a petname, and one time they hear Shane call Ilya one.

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  20. Yes, Shane is like the sun come down to earth, but for hockey. Yes, he married Ilya. Thank you for noticing.

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