the secret society of stick handlers

Works:
8
Complete:
Yes
Words:
75,918
  1. Scott: I’ve been getting asked if it’s me. I considered denying but if we all deny and one person doesn’t, that sort of gives their identity away and I’m not sure they want that.
    Ilya: Everyone thinks is me. My agent asked if I want to comment too
    Scott: Wait, it's not you?
    Ilya: Maybe 🤔 Or maybe not 🤪
    Eric: What?

    Or: When Adrian Dela Cruz reveals he dated an NHL player, chaos and damage control ensue. A story told through texts, tweets, and one pretentious Variety article.

    Language:
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    Files:
    3 versions
    AO3:
    #75688111
  2. Troy: How many women have you slept with anyways?
    Ilya: ♾️
    Luca: That’s just an infinity symbol
    Ilya: Yes

    In which internet discourse ensues, the gay players of the NHL bicker in the group chat, and Shane would just like to get through the weekend without his husband starting another twitter scandal.

    Language:
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    Words:
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    Files:
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    AO3:
    #76943556
  3. Kyle: Your sense of age is so weird. So Scott’s elderly and Luca’s a baby?
    Ilya: Yes
    Shane: Luca’s older than we were when we got together though
    Harris: He IS?
    Kyle: literally wtf is this timeline

    In which Harris adds Ilya and Shane to a gay WAGs group chat

    (Can be read as a standalone)

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    Words:
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    Chapters:
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    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #77231051
  4. Shane: I’ve never wanted to share it since our timeline is so…complicated
    Hayden: Is it? You were fucking, then you dated, then you got married. Normal progression!
    Shane: I don’t think the “fucking” part of that equation is usually 7 years

    In which the Voyageurs’ secret homophobic group chat leaks, Shane decides it might be time to tell the world how long he’s been seeing Ilya, and said world loses their shit.

    Language:
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    Words:
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    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #77439426
  5. Luca: Everyone should be celebrating right now, not worrying about me. I’m so sorry
    Ilya: You're giving us more to celebrate! What is the point of us all coming out if you can’t bottom for two hot men?
    Luca: I’m not sure how to answer that

    In which Luca's Stanley Cup celebrations go viral thanks to TMZ and some poorly framed photos. Luckily (and at times mortifyingly), he has all the queer NHL stars who came before him in his corner.

    Language:
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    Words:
    10,624
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #78523776
  6. Ilya: You respect my opinion as your captain, yes?
    Luca: Of course
    Ilya: My opinion is you should let this man rail you
    Shane: You can’t use your status as captain to make Luca have gay sex
    Ilya: Then what is the point of being captain?!

    Or: In their many, many group chats, the Centaurs guide (and embarrass) Luca through the crush he's hellbent on denying.

    (This is a prequel of when Luca and Archie first met/started dating. It can be read as a standalone)

    Language:
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    Files:
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    AO3:
    #79713971
  7. Ilya: He should buy lottery tickets because he is the luckiest man on earth 
    Ilya: He should get on his knees and thank god everyday that he got to fuck you
    Shane: Oh my God stop
    Ilya: What? I do that

    Or: The man who topped Shane in Mexico posts about his experience, Ilya contemplates murder, and the other queer NHL players get caught in the crossfire.

    Language:
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    Words:
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    Chapters:
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    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #80963886
  8. Shane: You know, believe it or not, eating women out actually wasn't my favorite pastime
    Ilya: Sure.
    Shane: Ilya. I’m GAY
    Ilya: Not too gay to eat lots of pussy

    In which the women Shane has slept with share their experiences on social media, Shane and Ilya both react totally normally, and Hayden would like some clarity on his best friend's sex life

    A sequel to "ten out of ten"

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,353
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #83557496