we’ve got bad things to do
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Born as the second son of a high-ranking officer in the Russian mob, Ilya Rozanov is sent to head the Bratva’s overseas branch in Canada. One day, his father calls with an assignment: shut down their rival operation in Ottawa, a money-laundering front backed by the Japanese Yakuza. He’s given one name to go off of: Hollander. Shane Hollander is a graduate student in an MD program specializing in sports medicine. There’s nothing particularly interesting about him, other than the fact that his mother, Yuna Hollander, is the CEO of an arts charity—and the daughter of the chairman of the second- largest yakuza family in Japan. Unfortunately for Shane, Ilya gets the wrong Hollander.
- Part 1 of we’ve got bad things to do
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 16,051
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #78570511
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After Shane’s kidnapping, Ilya vows he’ll never let anybody touch Shane again. The voice in his mind that sounds like his mother—her face lost to time, now even her voice fading away—urges him to leave the family business and embrace Shane as an honest man. The voice that sounds like his father’s tells him to lock up his heart and throw away the key. That way, nobody can hurt him again. (Or: after Shane is kidnapped and almost killed, Ilya chooses a different path. He’s as much his father’s son as he is his mother’s, after all.)
- Part 2 of we’ve got bad things to do
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,907
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #82828641
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It’s midterms week, and Shane wants no distractions. Specifically, he wants no distractions from Ilya. Naturally, Ilya has to test those boundaries. (Or: 3.5K words of Ilya edging Shane.)
- Part 3 of we’ve got bad things to do
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,522
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #80327226
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"It starts with an auction at his mom’s charity. Shane’s eyes scan through the various pieces, and finally settle on a mannequin at the end of the row. The black felt is wrapped in layers of corded red rope. Layers and layers of intricate knots, lines doubling back on one another, building tessellating diamonds and swirls in luxuriously-soft silk. It cages the mannequin’s torso, running over nondescript lumps in its chest area, under its arms, and—Shane’s tongue darts out, moistening his dry lips—down around the androgynous pubic mound. A thought flashes through his mind. I wonder how that would feel on me. "
- Part 4 of we’ve got bad things to do
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,620
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #80710906
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Ilya finally meets Shane's parents. There is no way this could go wrong.
- Part 5 of we’ve got bad things to do
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,083
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #85307411
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like you’re the only one in the room by fonduebroski314 (anon_carrots)
Heated Rivalry (TV)
2026-03-14
Ilya convinces Shane to go to the club with him. While wearing a plug. This goes about how you’d expect.
- Part 6 of we’ve got bad things to do
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,726
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #81166176
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“Rozanov introduces himself to the rest of his family, and Hayden can tell that they’re all immediately charmed by his blue eyes and foreign accent. He feels like he’s going crazy. Is he the only one who can see past this guy’s slimy schtick? There’s only one explanation. Shane has found some sort of magical Russian trickster god for a boyfriend and has fallen under his evil spell. Hayden has to get Shane to safety immediately.” It’s graduation, and Hayden Pike is on top of the world. He gets to spend his day with his favorite people—his wife and two daughters, and his best friend Shane. His best friend Shane, who forgot to tell Hayden about his boyfriend.
- Part 7 of we’ve got bad things to do
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,696
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #81928861
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“Ilya’s been looking forward to today, the only full day they could find together this month. Of course, that’s when one of Ilya’s clients decides he needs to close a deal. He genuinely considers hiring an assassin—pulls the number up on his phone and everything—before Shane talks him out of it. ‘Why don’t I come spend time at the office with you?’” (Or: Shane warms Ilya's cock. That's it, that's the fic.)
- Part 8 of we’ve got bad things to do
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,423
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #83661586