1 – 10 of 10 Works in Ilya Rozanov Rage Baits

  • Ilya Rozanov Rage Baits ×

  1. Lazy by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
    • T
    • ✓

    2026-10-10

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    A shoulder injury sees Ilya retire two years before his husband. Too much time on his hands means Ilya falls down the well-trodden path of too much childhood trauma leading to a lot of therapy leading to becoming a stand-up comedian.
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    LAZY • 1 hour of comedy by Ilya ROZANOV

    ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ - ‘Highly entertaining.’

    ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ - ‘Very funny, surprisingly insightful.’

    ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ - ‘Queer, loud and very, very funny.’

    ⭐️ - ‘Technically competent show but extremely arrogant and somewhat debauched.’

    -----
    That leads to both another round of laughter and a cheer. On stage, Ilya grins.

    “Yes, but I knew even then that staying in Russia was maybe a very bad idea. Because queer and Russian is recipe for very traditional Russian tragedy, yes? Which, generally speaking, are not good.” Ilya holds up a hand, counting on his fingers. “Napoleonic Wars, Stalingrad, Chernobyl, getting caught sucking cock with your Coach’s son. All of these would be bad, no? Very high body counts, probably.”

    There’s a lot of laughter now. In the front row, Svetlana wipes at her eyes, shoulders shaking.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,284
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #94265106

  2. Not A Fan by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types, Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
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    • ✓

    2026-09-09

    @SophiaSkatesBoston:

    I bought a FanMail from Ilya Rozanov for a laugh, thinking it must be an admin error to even have him listed but...

    [Video clip begins]

    Ilya Rozanov stands against a bare white wall, wearing athletic shorts and a tank top.

    “Sophia,” he says, faux serious, “thank you for requesting a birthday video. As you can see, I am taking this all very seriously. I have good neutral background, very plain, very boring. Very professional. Does not contain anything that would make the commissioner very angry. Is just a blank wall, I have checked. Because I consider the set up of my shots. I would hate to send happy birthday video with very big, very distracting secret in the background. Would be very unprofessional, very...”

    [Tap to keep watching]

    @CentaursCentral:

    Oh my God, he did not! I laughed so hard at this I think I pulled something.

    @NHL_OffTheRink:

    If you do one thing on hockey twitter today, let it be watching this video.

    @OttawaAlways:

    Ok but has Hayden Pike seen this yet? Does he know?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,243
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #92261491

  3. MLH Opposite Day by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
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    • ✓

    2026-05-23

    Shane's texts to Lily leak. It looks bad... because Shane is biphobic?? Different texts leak, and Ilya is a kind, supportive ally?? Is it opposite day?

    Shane Hollander is getting dragged to the 7th circle of closeted gay hell by Twitter.
    Ilya Rozanov has strong feelings about shipping.
    Hayden Pike is confused why everyone suddenly thinks he’s whiny.

    ---

    OR Ilya ragebaits his boyfriend and Hayden Pike via leaked texts and somehow ends up looking like the good guy online.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,747
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #84411976

  4. Welcome, Jane! by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
    • M
    • ?
    • ✓

    2026-05-14

    "Jane" gets added to the Centaures WAGs chat shortly after Ilya moves to Ottawa. Maybe a group of girl friends is exactly what Shane needs in the face of hardship

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    24,356
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Files:
    2 versions
    AO3:
    #84137106

  5. your roots in my dreamland by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types, Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
    • ?
    • ✓

    2026-04-09

    “You know, I could marry Svetlana,” Ilya said, apropos of nothing. Shane looked up from his phone, frowning. “To get an American passport,” Ilya went on, casual as anything, like they were talking about travel plans or a trade rumor. Not Shane’s worst nightmare. “It would be like a business agreement. She would do it.” “Okay,” Shane said slowly, already hearing the faint crack in his voice. “Sure. A business agreement. But…It’s not like you could just fake it. You’d have to live with her. She would get to come home to you.” “Yes, but it would be like roommates,” Ilya said. “We could still be this-” he gestured loosely between them, like that explained everything. “She wouldn’t mind.” “She’d be your wife, Ilya.” The word was like a lash, even to his own ears. --- What if the "I could marry Svetlana" scene and Ilya being LOST in the sauce sex scene had a baby? And that baby was angst + comfort + shower sex?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,399
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #82804451

  6. falsely accused by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
    • G
    • ✓

    2026-03-21

    @MHL Gossip @MHLGossip

    BREAKING: An audio posted by an anonymous source reveals that Boston Captain Ilya Rozanov is currently BLACKMAILING Montreal Captain Shane Hollander with what he calls an ‘incriminating photo’. Fans are left wondering just what the so called ‘Golden Boy’ of the MHL could have done and how does Rozanov have such a photo?

     

    @montrealbabes 

    FUCK

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,053
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #81575101

  7. Loose Lips Sink Ships by

    Heated Rivalry (TV)
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    • ✓

    2026-03-13

    "Good evening, everyone. Joining us in the booth tonight is former Centaurs captain Ilya Rozanov."

    "And there's Shane Hollander with the puck," Ilya greeted warmly. "Talented and beautiful man with incredible thighs. Married, unfortunately for the rest of you."

    The broadcast camera zoomed in on Shane's face.

    "That's my husband," Ilya added, just in case anyone had forgotten.

    The Ottawa Centaurs are playing Montreal in the most anticipated matchup of the season. Unfortunately for everyone involved, retired Centaurs legend Ilya Rozanov has been invited to guest commentate.

    Featuring: biased commentary, Montreal slander, and aggressive husband hyping.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,922
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #80953641

  8. Let me tell you who I am (I’m your biggest fan) by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
    • G
    • ✓

    2026-02-10

    All in all, it might be annoying and agitating but Rozanov knows not to take it too far. He will never go out of his way to make Scott’s life miserable. It’s all in good fun, mostly private, nothing to lose any sleep over. Until Scott makes the mistake of saying yes to a series of press events in which newly graduated sports journalists get a chance to write a piece about the MLH.

    Five times Scott gets harassed by a brand-new reporter and one time he tries to get him back.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,705
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #79226866

  9. I'll be Jane by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
    • M
    • ✓

    2026-01-27

    It’s not going viral because Jane’s true identity was exposed—or even because Ilya was blatantly sexting in public. That part’s as expected as Shane doing yoga or any human being on earth breathing. No, the texts are going viral because no one can believe how bad this “Jane” is at sexting. The women of the world are outraged. The men of the world are baffled. No one can understand why Ilya Rozanov, whose abs have their own fan club, is wasting his time on ‘a piece of cardboard that wished to be turned into a real girl’ (this particular joke has 300k likes and counting). Or: After a social media trend mocks Shane's sexting skills, he tries to improve them. It goes about as poorly as you'd expect. Now available in Russian

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,196
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    2 versions
    AO3:
    #78242831

  10. sorry, who are you again? by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
    • G
    • ✓

    2026-01-12

    Ilya pushed the blanket off and tried to pull his gown up to look at his stomach. “You’re so beautiful,” he said, in case he'd forget. “Why am I here again? Are you single? Hey, did they take my- my- intestines, how do you call-“ “Ilya,” said the man, taking Ilya’s wrists gently but with a strong grip before he could take a good look at the bandages. “Behave. Please keep your clothes on, oh my God. They didn’t take your intestines, just your appendix. You’re fine. Just rest.” OR: Ilya wakes up fucked up from anesthesia and tries to start an affair with his own husband, as it turns out.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,339
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #77578456