Summary:

"Good evening, everyone. Joining us in the booth tonight is former Centaurs captain Ilya Rozanov."

"And there's Shane Hollander with the puck," Ilya greeted warmly. "Talented and beautiful man with incredible thighs. Married, unfortunately for the rest of you."

The broadcast camera zoomed in on Shane's face.

"That's my husband," Ilya added, just in case anyone had forgotten.

The Ottawa Centaurs are playing Montreal in the most anticipated matchup of the season. Unfortunately for everyone involved, retired Centaurs legend Ilya Rozanov has been invited to guest commentate.

Featuring: biased commentary, Montreal slander, and aggressive husband hyping.