61 – 80 of 150 Works in Implied/Referenced Suicide
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Ilya hadn’t known the video existed. If he had known, he would have paid someone to have it destroyed. Would have paid someone to murder Kuznetsov, maybe, just for redundancy's sake. But it was peak stupidity, to keep evidence of your homosexual perversion around in a country where that crime could get you sent to jail for several decades, and Ilya hadn’t thought that Kuznetsov would be that dumb.
Now here Ilya was, watching a video of his fourteen-year-old self on Twitter getting fucked by his former hockey coach.
So. There go the plans for the rest of his life.
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Or: in 2018, during Ilya's last year with the Raiders, an old video is leaked on Twitter. Ilya reacts, or overreacts. Shane does, too.
- Part 21 of my anonymous heated rivalry fic
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 15,806
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Files:
- 4 versions
- AO3:
- #82027471
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In fall 2016, Shane Hollander goes missing during a night out clubbing with his teammates.
Or: Shane doesn't meet Rose. He meets a woman with very sharp teeth. And by sunrise, he is a changed man.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,691
- Chapters:
- 3/6
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #80572781
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hanging by a moment by frozenmorningdew (goldenboygate)
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-03-29
Ilya starts calling Shane boring regularly after that, not cruelly but persistently, the way you press a bruise you know is there just to confirm it still hurts. Shane's cereal is boring, Shane's training schedule is boring, Shane's shoes lined up by the door are boring, and Shane responds with variations of "fuck off" and "you're an asshole" that become increasingly creative and occasionally surprising. They do not talk about anything that matters. They talk about groceries and whose turn it is to take out the trash and whether Ilya's music is too loud at midnight, which it is. On the ice, Shane is someone else entirely. Ilya watches him from the upper stands every morning with vending machine coffee going cold in his hand and doesn't tell anyone. Or: Shane asked Ilya once how you know when it's the right person. Ilya described Shane to him, and Shane didn't recognise himself.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 187,218
- Chapters:
- 44/44
- Files:
- 4 versions
- AO3:
- #80126256
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it has a language of its own by Anonymous
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-03-28
Ilya learns very young that he has a soulmate.
Ilya's POV of the heart is hard to translate.
- Part 2 of all this and heaven too
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 21,725
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #78749051
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Shane should be here right now, should be in Ilya’s house. Ilya should be teasing him about being picky while going through delivery options for food on his phone. Shane should be discovering that Ilya has ginger ale in the fridge and the protein bars Shane mentioned liking in an interview in his pantry. He should be making out with Shane on the couch, sneaking a hand into his pants, teasing him about whether they can beat the deliveryman and arrive before he does. Shane was supposed to spend the night tonight, the Montreal team not set to leave until tomorrow afternoon because of potential bad weather in the morning. Shane should be fed and showered and ready to curl up in bed with Ilya tonight.
But Shane is in a hospital.And Ilya is here.
He pulls up Jane in his phone again. He presses call.
“Hey, you’ve reached Shane Hollander-”
Ilya closes his eyes and lets Shane’s voice roll over him.
(canon divergence in which shane getting injured happens during a game in boston) (...which means shane then gets to go home with ilya to recover)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 24,930
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #81564121
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On very bad nights, Lyosha lets himself look. He pulls up KHL scores, reads articles about Dynamo’s powerplay. After a while, he wanders into articles about ex-KHL players who play for the MLH now. He’s a Dynamo diehard, of course, and prefers the KHL, but he’s a casual Valery Garipov fan, and it would not be a surprise to anyone that he occasionally keeps tabs on how the Puffins are doing. It would not be a red flag, to anyone watching.
The Puffins are not doing so well, as it happens. Not like another team, that leads the league and dominates conversations, to the point that even articles about the Puffins can’t help talking about them. To the point that sometimes, sometimes, there are even stray pictures. Nothing that Lyosha will ever linger on. He is his father’s son. He lives in Moscow. He has a daughter who is fifteen.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,055
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #81871346
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can we just go home now by Anonymous
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-03-24
Marlow knows better than to push. Everyone’s got their own shit, especially on the road. But there’s only so many nights you can wake up to someone falling apart before it stops being something you can ignore.
// Ilya hasn’t seen his mother in over ten years. Lately, he sees her every night.
- Part 3 of hard conversations
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 9,128
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #81787166
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A day after Ilya asks Shane if he’d marry him when they turn thirty, Ilya’s mother dies. Within a week, Ilya and his family return to Russia, leaving behind nothing but an empty house next door. Eighteen years later, Shane stumbles across a comment on his Instagram that brings back a flood of memories, emotions, and feelings that he’d thought were long buried.
- Part 1 of where we return
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 22,301
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #81051661
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Showing Up For Him by Anonymous
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
2026-03-22
Shane wasn’t his boyfriend. But for a while it had felt like it. They’d been alone in his house. He’d made them tuna melts and watched TV. They’d cuddled like a real couple. And then he had to go and ruin it. Like he ruins everything. The press won't stop talking about Shane and Rose. He's turning into his mother and for some reason, Scott Hunter is the only one who sees him. And it scares him.
OR
Ilya spirals after the tuna melt scene and engages in self-destructive behaviors. Scott Hunter notices and refuses to go away.
*This is a stand alone fic and is not related to the others in the series.
- Part 3 of Seasoned Gay to the Rescue
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 22,566
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #80864736
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change, like the sky by cupocoffee
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-03-16
He doesn’t mean for it to happen that way. He sees the asphalt before he reaches it. He thinks, Ilya. He doesn’t remember much after that. - SHANE HOLLANDER, CAPTAIN OF MONTREAL METROS, FOUND UNRESPONSIVE AFTER FALLING FROM APARTMENT BALCONY The incident occurred mere hours after rumors of the hockey star’s sexuality started circulating, stemming from an online video of a private conversation between the young captain and actress Rose Landry. There is no update on his current status after being moved to… Or, Shane gets outed and accidentally hurts himself, the world thinks he's tried to end his life, and Ilya struggles to come to terms with mortality in more than one sense of the word.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 43,264
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Files:
- 3 versions
- AO3:
- #79643536
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Shane Hollander was smart. Shane Hollander was strong. But when Shane Hollander's defenses are down, he is surprisingly easy to kidnap, if you are stupid enough to do so.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 31,452
- Chapters:
- 10/?
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #79889891
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Ilya googles Scott Hunter in his hotel room at night. He reads some interviews too.
Scott Hunter is an orphan. He lost his parents when he was twelve. A drunk driver killed them both.
Twelve.
Ilya’s stomach tightens into a knot. He can’t keep the memories away. They’re rising from the grave he tried to bury them in so many times. Mama.
~
Ilya, Scott, and the transformation of their relationship(s).
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 22,399
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #77845401
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Rozanov wanted to hurt himself, or tried to hurt himself, or did hurt himself. Acknowledging the idea feels like staring directly at the sun. If Shane lets the thought settle, it’ll burn its way through every other thought he has.
Rozanov is catching a pillow that Sveta throws at him and smiling. He told Shane that therapy is working. He’s here. He’s fine.
Shane takes careful breaths and taps his right thumb to his fingers one by one as he sets aside that confusion and terror. Rozanov did not invite him here to freak out, so Shane’s not going to freak out.
Or: The summer after he wins the Cup for Boston, Ilya almost dies. Shane tries to cope.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,773
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #80214556
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Shane Hollander is the closeted captain of the Montreal Voyageurs. Ilya Rozanov is a man with blood on his hands and love in his chest, even if he refuses to name it. What begins as a one-night stand in Boston becomes something deceptively close to forever...but danger lurks at every turn.
- Part 1 of late night devil (put your hands on me)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 12,539
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #77735876
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Ilya hasn’t planned on meeting Shane’s parents after only three days at the cottage. He sure as hell hasn’t planned on dying that very same day, only to wake up in his childhood home in Moscow. The year is 2004, he’s twelve again, and his mother is still alive.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 14,174
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #78187056
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“Sometimes, I wish he was a worse person,” Ilya admits one night, while he and Yuna are doing the dishes. Shane and Ilya had come over for chicken parmesan, and it had been a lovely dinner, right up until David, clearing the plates, mentioned that he had met a guy at the store the other day who was a big fan of Shane’s, had a kid who idolized him.
David asked if Shane could sign a piece of merchandise for him, maybe record a video. Shane said yes, because he had a rule, about doing things for child fans. Now, Shane was off shooting a video while Ilya did the dishes, and Ilya already knew the way it would require Shane to drag his public face up from the depths of his stomach, the work it would take him to shed it afterwards, the way it would taint this evening.
- Part 15 of my anonymous heated rivalry fic
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,546
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #80125436
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heat seeker (the many names of ilya rozanov) by Anonymous
Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
2026-02-23
Ilya Rozanov has always understood the power of a name.
On the ice, it’s a threat.
In headlines, it’s a brand.
In Boston, it’s a chant.But in Moscow, it was once a lullaby.
And in Shane Hollander’s voice, it becomes something softer. Something dangerous. Something that makes Ilya want more than he was ever meant to have.From a golden kitchen in Moscow to the roar of Boston crowds, from hotel rooms and tuna melts to hospital monitors and wedding vows, this is the story of how a boy who learned what silence feels like finds someone who refuses to stop saying his name.
And maybe—just maybe—that’s what saves him.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 24,296
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #80091786
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i've been playing dead my whole life by Anonymous
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-02-21
“We knew when his words came in that he’d–” Yuna’s voice cracked around the idea, that specific word escaping her. “That he won’t have to know what it feels like to lose his soulmate.”
Because Shane was always going to go first. How must it have felt, to look upon her son and see those words, and know with complete certainty he would go first? Maybe it was better, having as vague of a word as Ilya did on his chest. At least he couldn’t think about it, couldn’t imagine scenarios in which it could be said.
“I assume,” Yuna said, pausing to take a deep breath as though to steel herself, “he said yours last night.”
Ilya nodded, admitting what he didn’t dare say out loud.
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AU where the last words you ever hear from your soulmate are tattooed on your chest. Ilya and Shane still argue over the party, Ilya still already chose Shane, and everything goes so much worse after Shane leaves.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,373
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #79994411
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Spending time with the Hollanders dredges up memories Ilya would rather remain buried.
- Part 21 of [challenge] Heated Rivalry Febuwhump 2026
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,394
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #79671336
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hold your hand through plastic now by shaneshole (MuddieBuddies)
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-02-20
Male carriers are a rare breed in North America. With only .005% of the male population having the recessive gene. In Canada there are a couple hundred male pregnancies documented each year with only half of them carrying to full term. Shane Hollander was one of the .005%. He just didn't know it. or; the angsty Shane Hollander mpreg fic
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 59,243
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #75293396