1 – 20 of 228 Works in Panic Attacks

  • Panic Attacks ×

  1. is just a plan to fuck forever by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
    • E

    2026-10-25

    It turned out the hockey season was a lot more hectic with a full social life in the BDSM club scene and a fiancé who he could never quite escape from. Not to mention wedding planning? God, Shane was in over his head. All he wanted to do was shut his mind off and be a kitty.

    sequel to 'is just ten year plan to fuck'

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    317,898
    Chapters:
    11/?
    Files:
    2 versions
    AO3:
    #84816636

  2. new and exotic lands by

    Heated Rivalry (TV)
    • E
    • ✓

    2026-10-24

    David gets diagnosed with prostate cancer a few months before Shane turns forty.

    “It’s nothing for you to worry about,” he says, right before he drops the news. Family dinner: pasta with vodka sauce, roasted broccoli, a tower of garlic bread stacked just as high as ever, even though Ilya, retired now, no longer has the appetite he once had. Usually, he still manages to put most of it away, even if it means he ends up groaning on the coach afterwards, begging Shane to rub his belly. Shane rolls his eyes, but he always does it, if only for the happy little sighs Ilya makes, like a fat house cat.

    --

    Or: there's a cancer diagnosis, then a cancer scare, and Shane contemplates retirement.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,197
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #95324566

  3. into your earthly hands by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
    • T

    2026-10-22

    "Rozy," Brian, the team doctor says, "talk to me, buddy. That puck clipped you pretty good, how’s the pain?"

    Ilya blinks. He clenches his jaw against a wave of nausea. He rests his cheek on the ice, and the cold helps a little.

    "Bad. Very bad." He swallows. "Is Shane here?"

    -

    or, in the final MTL/BOS game of the year, ilya takes a puck to the head.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    101,872
    Chapters:
    23/?
    Files:
    2 versions
    AO3:
    #77302971

  4. and we all fall down by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
    • E

    2026-10-17

    The truth was, yeah, Shane married Ilya, but he’d married hockey first. He married hockey the second he signed his rookie contract with the Metros, and his courtship began long, long before. And his marriage to hockey wasn’t like his marriage to Ilya. Hockey wouldn’t ever love him back. Ilya wasn’t going to chew Shane up and spit him out at some nebulous point after he turned thirty and before he turned forty, his joints busted and his mouth full of dentures and his brain fucked to hell and back. And that marriage—his first marriage—had always come before his second, illicit shotgun wedding.

    It wasn’t ideal, maybe, but that was just how things were. Hell, it was probably the same for Ilya, too. The fuck was Shane supposed to do about it? Nothing, nothing, nothing. He liked his life just the way it was. He didn’t want to do anything different. He still doesn’t. And that’s the worst, most shameful part of it all: at the end of the day, some part of Shane will always wish he could wind back time like adjusting a watch; erase that Instagram post before it ever hit the internet and go back to the life they’d had before; the life that was slowly killing them both.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    87,089
    Chapters:
    10/11
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #86022951

  5. Enemy Lines by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
    • M
    • ✓

    2026-10-15

    “Why the fuck do you care what happens to Rozanov?”

    Shane doesn’t answer.

    He’s already running for the Raiders’ locker room.

    ⎯⎯⎯

    Or, Ilya has a panic attack in the Raiders' locker room after getting a phone call from his brother telling him about his father’s death.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    87,938
    Chapters:
    25/25
    Files:
    4 versions
    AO3:
    #81136361

  6. I have never known hunger by

    Heated Rivalry (TV)
    • E
    • !

    2026-10-13

    Cliff Marlow is not gay. He's not. Seriously. He'd know, right?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    61,356
    Chapters:
    19/20
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #81330606

  7. Kyle Swift’s Wallet Chain by

    Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types, Heated Rivalry (TV), Time to Shine - Rachel Reid, Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
    • E
    • ✓

    2026-10-03

    Eighteen year-old Kyle Swift has been banished from Vermont and sent to navigate a life in New York City on his own, with a wallet chain, a thin thread of financial support, and occasional phone calls where an entire family had once been. Haunted by the shadows of every mistake he’s ever made leading up to the one that blew apart his entire life, Kyle is desperate for the fresh start his mother keeps claiming this is, and he’s desperately hoping to stop making the same stupid mistakes.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    38,866
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #91903301

  8. every minute and every hour, i miss you by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
    • T
    • ✓

    2026-09-29

    The scream that rips its way out of Shane’s chest is feral, inhuman. A wretched, mournful wail being torn from his body by the bony hands of grief. He collapses to his knees and sobs, anguish pouring out of him like a tidal wave. Suddenly there are arms around him, but they’re not the right ones. Not Ilya. Or, Ilya’s plane goes down.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,218
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    2 versions
    AO3:
    #93523206

  9. on winning and losing (and ilya rozanov) by

    Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types, Heated Rivalry (TV)
    • M
    • ✓

    2026-09-28

    Twenty years after everything fell apart, Shane Hollander is on the cusp of becoming MLH Commissioner when Ilya Rozanov walks into his office and back into his life.

    "I don't know, I’m pretty late to the game," Shane says.

    “Everything good happens in third period,” Ilya counters.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    237,562
    Chapters:
    28/28
    Files:
    4 versions
    AO3:
    #82087191

  10. good bruises by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
    • E

    2026-09-15

    Tampa doesn’t happen, and Shane and Rose get engaged. Two months later, the Hollander-Rozanov sex tape hits Twitter.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    31,461
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #82997321

  11. The Dinosaur Support Group by

    Heated Rivalry (TV)
    • E

    2026-09-06

    What if Scott Hunter was waiting for an elevator in Vegas?

    What if Shane and Ilya had an emotional support Old Man and his Art History Twink?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    258,650
    Chapters:
    20/?
    Files:
    2 versions
    AO3:
    #76857821

  12. Stupid Canadian Jailbird by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
    • E
    • !
    • ✓

    2026-08-31

    Shane and Ilya get arrested hours after Team Canada wins the World Junior Championship. From one day to the next, their lives are flipped upside down. As prisoners – er, incarcerated persons –, they are no longer climbing the hockey social ladder. They are no longer rival captains and star hockey players bearing responsibility for their nations’ and their future MLH teams’ hopes. They are nothing more than cellmates awaiting trial, caught in a tedious cycle of empty days where privacy is a distant memory. However will they pass the time?

    Good thing they have each other. Now if only they could be honest about their feelings... Ideally, before they're released and face the legal and professional consequences of their venture into crime.

    ***

    OR a fact-ridden, funny, and frustrating romance set in one of the world's least romantic and most devastating environments, courtesy of a prison scholar.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    56,694
    Chapters:
    15/15
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #89569931

  13. Hyaline (see-through) by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
    • M
    • ?
    • ✓

    2026-08-24

    Click.
    “Is she with you?”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    65,417
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #84692881

  14. can on a string by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
    • E

    2026-08-23

    His sister grabs him firmly by the shoulders. “Shane Hollander. My brother, my wombmate, my least favourite twin. I literally do. not. care. if you introduce yourself to this boy or not, but you have been yammering about him nonstop for fucking days and you very clearly want to talk to him, so as your older sister–”

    “–I was literally born first–”

    “You were removed first, we both know God wanted me to–”

    “You were breech and tried to take your fucking placenta with you, I don’t think ‘God’–”

    “A girl causes an almost-fatal hemorrhage one time and no one ever lets her fucking forget it! Whatever! The point is that you clearly want to talk to this guy and we just saw him walk over there alone so now is your perfect fucking chance! Just go say hi! Stop overthinking it!”

    “Wow, stop overthinking, what revolutionary advice. Thank you so much for that game-changing fuc–”

    She punches him in the shoulder hard enough to actually hurt. “Okay how about this, fuckface: either you go introduce yourself to him or I will.”

     

    OR: My brain said what if Shane Hollander had a sister, and then all this happened. Bon appetite.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    32,874
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #87693446

  15. the practical (accidental) acquisition of a husband by

    Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types, Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
    • E
    • ✓

    2026-08-17

    After a viral photo outs Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov while they're still busy pretending their years-long situationship is mostly just sex, the fallout gets complicated fast. The world reacts badly. Their teams react worse. Ilya's future in North America starts to look alarmingly fragile, and Shane, who has never met a disaster he didn't try to control into submission, throws himself into fixing what can still be fixed.

    Ilya has spent his whole life being wanted for the wrong reasons and discarded for the right ones. Shane has spent his whole life believing that if he is careful enough, good enough, controlled enough, he can keep disaster from reaching the people he loves.

    A practical solution emerges, then a house, then rings.

    Somehow, by the time they say their vows, both of them are certain they are the only one who means them.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    191,829
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Files:
    4 versions
    AO3:
    #84170661

  16. summer cicadas sing by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
    • M
    • ?
    • ✓

    2026-08-14

    Just over four years after a zombie virus destroys the world as he knows it, twenty-five year old Ilya Rozanov is so rattled by trauma and grief that even when he's found a community to call home, he keeps everyone at an arm’s length. That is, until Shane Hollander shows up looking like death itself.

    A story about the end of the world, and how to pick up the pieces.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    33,040
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #90133906

  17. Turn The Other Cheek by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
    • T

    2026-08-11

    “I turned the other cheek every fucking time. I still got tossed on my ass the second I went too far over the line, and threatened by the commissioner, and told to kill myself on just about every social media platform because my nightmare that I’d get outed came true. And you, after everything you did, got to come out to a supportive team and fans, get a slap on the wrist, and have your happy fucking ending.”

    Or:

    An exploration of Shane Hollander's struggle against racism and homophobia in hockey, and how others come to understand it

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,365
    Chapters:
    4/5
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #84085051

  18. Between a Rock Climber and a Hard Place by

    Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types, Heated Rivalry (TV)
    • E
    • ✓

    2026-08-04

    There, in an overhung area that had been initially blocked from view, was what could only be described as a Greek god in Adidas track pants and La Sportiva Solutions. The god was hanging off a purple sloper with his left arm, shaking out and chalking up casually with his right. Shane barely noticed himself taking a few steps forward as he squinted at the grade. V9. Shane watched as the climber matched his hands and then carefully rotated on his toe to dip his left hand back into the chalk bag swinging at his hips. A little puff of chalk exploded out onto the man’s bare lower back, an area Shane had been trying to ignore, as he always tried to ignore the muscled backs of the bros who tore off their shirt as soon as they got in the gym. His eyes drifted upward, taking in the impressive lats, flexing and glistening with a sheen of sweat, and all the way up to the tousled blonde hair...

    What the fuck. Was that…? Shane blanched as he realized that he recognized the climber. He wasn’t a Greek god at all. He was Russian. And not a god either, but that was besides the point. It was Ilya Rozanov, the top male youth boulderer in Russia, winner of last year’s IFSC Youth World Championship, where Shane had gotten 4th place.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    108,862
    Chapters:
    23/23
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #82153141

  19. Love, Vodka, or the Sea by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types, Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
    • E
    • !
    • ✓

    2026-08-01

    Recovery isn't linear.
    Knowing this, and believing it, are two different things.

    Shane moves to Ottawa, ready to finally spend time with his soulmate, properly. Maybe the excitement is why he doesn't always notice.

    Ilya wins the Cup with Shane at his side, but it doesn't matter as much as it should have. Not when his body hurts and his mind is fragile and he feels one moment away from collapse.

    Timeline goes back and forth, but we start off one year after the events of the previous story.
    In the end, everything will be okay.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,714
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #88105341

  20. The Promise by

    Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
    • ✓

    2026-07-10

    “Ilya, can I ask you something?” “You have been asking things all week, Shane.” “Have you ever thought about running away?” — At the cottage, Shane tells Ilya something distressing. Years later, when Hayden’s FanMail video leaks, a promise made there is tested.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,056
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #88268531
  1. 1
  2. 2
  3. 3
  4. …
  5. 12
  6. Next →