Summary:

His sister grabs him firmly by the shoulders. “Shane Hollander. My brother, my wombmate, my least favourite twin. I literally do. not. care. if you introduce yourself to this boy or not, but you have been yammering about him nonstop for fucking days and you very clearly want to talk to him, so as your older sister–”

“–I was literally born first–”

“You were removed first, we both know God wanted me to–”

“You were breech and tried to take your fucking placenta with you, I don’t think ‘God’–”

“A girl causes an almost-fatal hemorrhage one time and no one ever lets her fucking forget it! Whatever! The point is that you clearly want to talk to this guy and we just saw him walk over there alone so now is your perfect fucking chance! Just go say hi! Stop overthinking it!”

“Wow, stop overthinking, what revolutionary advice. Thank you so much for that game-changing fuc–”

She punches him in the shoulder hard enough to actually hurt. “Okay how about this, fuckface: either you go introduce yourself to him or I will.”

 

OR: My brain said what if Shane Hollander had a sister, and then all this happened. Bon appetite.