101 – 120 of 328 Works in Crack Treated Seriously

  • Crack Treated Seriously ×

  1. Love Makes Room by

    Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
    • M

    2026-06-09

    Svetlana is already invited to the wedding, and Shane assumes his conversation with Ilya means Sasha will be included as well, the wedding still being over a month away.

    Or, Ilya’s childhood friends arrive in Ottawa earlier than expected and are unexpectedly helpful with wedding planning.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,327
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #85497976

  2. r/MLHBangRatings by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
    • E
    • ?
    • ✓

    2026-06-09

    In which Shane gets a good grade in fucking women, something which is both normal to want and possible to achieve.

    —

    or: shane attempts heterosexuality. his best friend jessica helps him, and then helps him stop.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,276
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #86395061

  3. #Ididntsleepwithroz by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
    • M
    • ✓

    2026-06-07

    Ben the Cens Fan
    @Hockey_Watcher19
    Once upon a time I was a reluctant Ottawa fan (passed down from my dad) and then the most wild UFA signing happened in 2018 now I’m scrolling thru twitter reading posts about my captain not sleeping with people mixed in with highlights of my team kicking absolute ass. I love life

    RJ @rozsrightskatelace Replying to @Hockey_Watcher19
    The Ilya Rozanov effect, if you will

    Ben the Cens Fan @Hockey_Watcher19 Replying to @rozsrightskatelace
    Whatever works honestly, I’m here for a good time and happy to hear our captain is a decent person

    OR

    A hashtag is started up by a ex-hookup of Ilya's in opposition to some of her fans unfoundedly badmouthing Ilya, this eventually leads to teammates, former and not, joining into the fun, Lily, and the timeline of it all.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,139
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #84987821

  4. kiss and (don't) make up by

    Heated Rivalry (TV)
    • M
    • ✓

    2026-06-07

    “We need you to argue again,” Dykstra says suddenly.

    A few seconds of silence follow, three sets, four if you include Haasy looking up uncertainly every couple of seconds, of eyes trained on them expectantly.

    “You want us to argue?” Shane repeats slowly, confusedly.

    Bood nods solemnly. “We played the best game of the fucking season after your argument—”

    “It wasn’t because of our argument,” Shane tries to counter, but Ilya’s pretty sure he even knows it’s pointless.

    “It was because of your argument,” Wyatt says. “You need to argue on game days.”

    Dykstra points between Shane and Ilya. “We need you to argue tomorrow. No questions asked. You are the Captain and the Captain’s first man.”

    “Sorry?” Shane says at the same time Ilya says, “No.”

     
    Or the Ottawa Centaurs win a game after Shane and Ilya have a petty argument and turn it into a superstition. Texting fic edition.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,012
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #86315676

  5. You give me fever by

    Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types, Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
    • M
    • ✓

    2026-06-05

    Ilyusha 🩵
    Would you like to enlist the Hollander-Rozanov babysitting service for a date night?

    We have references!

    Caitlin
    Shane cleaned my kitchen, girl. Take them up on it!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,145
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #85025586

  6. Intricate Rituals by

    Heated Rivalry (TV)
    • E
    • ✓

    2026-06-05

    Casey kinda feels like he’s cracked the whole thing wide open here, if he’s being honest. The Centaurs had, after all, gotten drastically better in the last few years, and if he thinks about it, those changes had only seemed to happen once they’d had gay players on the roster. And they only seemed to get better the more they added. Maybe the league had been overlooking what was honestly a fairly well-proven strategy purely out of homophobia, and Casey was only seeing it now because he wasn’t one of those guys that got bothered by that.

    “Actually, if it works so good, maybe we should try it,” Casey realizes.

    This is where it officially goes too far.

    After overhearing a particularly inspiring chirp from Rozanov, Casey Marks of the Vancouver Ravens gets a fantastic idea. If he can convince his linemate Routhier to go along with it, maybe they can finally turn their bottom-rung team into a real contender. And if Casey enjoys every second of it, that’s just because Routhier is objectively hot. Casey is definitely, totally, 100% straight. Totally.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    28,046
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #85620261

  7. Five times Shane Hollander was embarrassed about having a big dick and one time he wasn't by

    Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types, Heated Rivalry (TV)
    • M
    • ✓

    2026-06-04

    In juniors they took one look at him naked and said ‘Fucking Christ Hollander’ and ‘what’s the point in measuring when we all know we’re gonna lose?’

    Because Shane had hit a growth spurt and, while he never gained the height he’d prayed for (he wasn’t short anywhere but in the NHL), he’d grown a lot in other areas.

    A lot… more than the other boys.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,889
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #86085506

  8. What happens in the WAG chat stays in the WAG chat by

    Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
    • M

    2026-06-03

    Events just before and during The Long Game, as told through texts if Shane was a WAG. Featuring a cup win, two babies, a fight, an (almost) plane crash, a coming out, and being outed.

    Jane: Montreal was not a good option for a number of reasons.
    Caitlin: So he did move for you??!!!
    Jane: Don't tell your husbands. He likes the mystery.
    Cassie: Never. what happens in the WAG chat stays in the WAG chat.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,734
    Chapters:
    8/9
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #84644036

  9. The Great Pretender by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
    • T
    • ?
    • ✓

    2026-06-02

    Ilya Rozanov is in love, closeted, catastrophically lonely, and apparently incapable of referring to Shane Hollander in present tense. The Centaurs come to a- given the circumstances- reasonable conclusion. Or: Five times the Centaurs thought Ilya Rozanov was mourning his dead wife, and the one time they discovered his wife was actually Shane Hollander. Shane, for the record, is alive and really confused.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    31,278
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #84483691

  10. Ilya Rozanov vs The Unintended Consequences of Woke Hockey by

    Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types, Heated Rivalry (TV)
    • T
    • ✓

    2026-06-02

    Forester (Admirals🔛🔝)
    So the true way to combat the Bisexual Russian Terminator isn’t with homophobia...
    It's actually with even more gay
    ...
    You're a goddamn genius.

    ----

    The NHL rookies have joined forces to strategize now that two of the greatest hockey players of all time are on the same team and Ilya Rozanov must suffer from the unintended consequences of making hockey more woke.

    Mainly, the way everyone keeps implying that they want to fuck his husband.

    or: a group of rookies unionize and employ chirping as a form of psychological torture against a one Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,158
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #85752726

  11. Subject: Class is cancelled... by

    Heated Rivalry (TV)
    • E
    • ?
    • ✓

    2026-06-01

    Shane has a problem. Shane has several problems, actually. They can differ day to day, depending heavily on whether or not he's running late to class or an assignment is almost due, but in general, his problems are thus: he is in love with his roommate, that roommate is Ilya Rozanov, and if Ilya ever discovers even half of the things Shane has done because of that crush, Shane will probably have to either change his name and transfer universities or fake his own death.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,364
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #85936096

  12. A Few of My Favorite Things by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
    • M
    • ✓

    2026-05-29

    Shane: Why is Melissa from the Raiders Foundation texting me?
    Shane: Ilya
    Shane: What did you do

    Ilya: ah
    Ilya: you are wag now yes?

    Shane: Ilya

    Ilya: i gave your number to hammersmith’s wife
    Ilya: she thinks i need help with the charity basket
    Ilya: and you know all my favorite things

    With Shane's new WAG status comes new responsibilities. Particularly with the Boston Raiders Foundation.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,846
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #85479886

  13. Canada is Fun by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types, Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
    • M
    • ✓

    2026-05-27

    [Ilya] HOLLANDER

    [Ilya] SHANE

    [Ilya] THERE IS A MONSTER IN MY DRIVEWAY

    [Ilya] I THINK IT WANTS TO MURDER ME

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,580
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #85630801

  14. Cassandras of the Internet Age by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types, Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
    • G
    • ✓

    2026-05-27

     

    @Rozanov81:

    Ok internet, I have announcement.

    I am getting married in 2 weeks.

    So we are going to play a game, ok? I give you one clue every day, we will see if you can guess

    #SecretRelationship #ILoveYouJane

    -----
    With each new daily clue, the Hollanov fans only get louder. Each clue lining up perfectly with a certain Canadian hockey player.

    However, they still cannot convince anyone. If anything, their overflow of online excitement might make it seem less believable.

    Ilya notices the plight of these modern Casandras of the internet age and, of course, decides to make it worse.

    -----
    Told through snapshots from twitter, Instagram, the Ottawa WAGs group chat and Ilya’s journey into the depths of Reddit to find r/HollanovHQ

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,035
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #85644951

  15. The Great MLH Seduction by

    Heated Rivalry (TV)
    • T
    • ?

    2026-05-26

    Farah, Shane, and his mom have a statement drafted by the end of the first period of the Boston v. Toronto game. By the time the Raiders are done showering and are pulled for post-game press, everyone with even a passing interest in professional hockey knows that Shane Hollander is an Unrestricted Free Agent looking for a new team.

    Shane watched live as Ilya blinked stupidly, took a few seconds to process, and then quickly answered into the mic. This interview would gain millions of views over the coming months and would be cited as the source of the most chaotic social media rollercoaster the MLH ever had.

    No one knew it then, but the Great MLH Seduction had officially begun.

    *****

    Or: Ilya stays with the Boston Raiders instead of trading to Ottawa. This causes quite a few ripples when Shane finally ends his contract with Montreal.

    Featuring: the Hollander Family's Spreadsheets(TM), professional hockey culture shifts, and a tasteful amount of fraud against the MLH.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,993
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #81710131

  16. The Apology Tour of Brad Hammersmith by

    Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
    • M
    • ✓

    2026-05-26

    Hammer: Sorry for worrying you
    And?
    Hammer: And what?
    That’s it?
    Hammer: What do you want me to say?

    Or, Brad Hammersmith learns a few important things, some of which he really should have known already, while doing a rather poor job of apologising for ghosting everybody.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,582
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #83699636

  17. Home (running) by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
    • M
    • ?
    • ✓

    2026-05-26

    Shane leaves professional hockey before locker room homophobia and contractual obligations can destroy him.
    Somehow, inexplicably, he winds up on the Savannah Bananas, an exhibition baseball team.
    He coaches skating for kids in the off season.
    For the first time in years, Shane has fun again.
    (He doesn't think about Ilya Rozanov or those two nights they shared together)
    (He doesn't give Rozanov his number when, years later, they reunite)
    (Except actually he does)
    (It's the best thing he's ever done)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    56,835
    Chapters:
    25/25
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #83299681

  18. Abolish private property by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
    • T
    • ✓

    2026-05-24

    Haley
    Hi Shane! Just messaging about our heater again. Do you think we could get it fixed today?
    Shane
    So sorry for the late reply, Haley! I’m at the Olympics and my time zones are all messed up. Messaged my HVAC guy and he’ll be there in the morning.

    Haley
    screenshot.jpg
    Wtf?
    Katie
    Is this guy fr???

    Or: the trials and tribulations of renting from Shane Hollander.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,560
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #82962906

  19. Круг жизни by

    Heated Rivalry (TV)
    • M
    • ✓

    2026-05-23

    For one fragile moment, he feels weightless. There's almost no time left on the clock, they can run it out without any issues. He's scored the game winner and Ilya is going to come to his home and complain about the score tonight, will bitch and moan just to tease Shane into arguing with him, before he grasps the back of Shane's neck and pulls him into a heated kiss. The next wave of pain hits and Shane folds forward, falling from his teammate's grasp as he screams.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,358
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    2 versions
    AO3:
    #85367836

  20. Introducing... The Ottawa Foals by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
    • G
    • ✓

    2026-05-22

    LILLIAN: Today we have brought you in to talk about our rookies, or the Centaur Foals as we’re calling them.

    ILYA: Foals?

    BOYLE: … the name doesn’t really strike fear into the heart of our enemies.

    BARRETT: Oh that’s cute, did Harris come up with that? How many meetings did that take?

    LILLIAN: Each of you have been paired up with a different rookie to talk about.

    or, the social media marketing starts early. to hype up the new rookies (and the old ones) the centaurs start running their PR campaign introducing the new talent that will one day define the centaurs

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,827
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #85327686
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