Summary:

Ilya Rozanov is in love, closeted, catastrophically lonely, and apparently incapable of referring to Shane Hollander in present tense. The Centaurs come to a- given the circumstances- reasonable conclusion. Or: Five times the Centaurs thought Ilya Rozanov was mourning his dead wife, and the one time they discovered his wife was actually Shane Hollander. Shane, for the record, is alive and really confused.