Summary:

Shane has a problem. Shane has several problems, actually. They can differ day to day, depending heavily on whether or not he's running late to class or an assignment is almost due, but in general, his problems are thus: he is in love with his roommate, that roommate is Ilya Rozanov, and if Ilya ever discovers even half of the things Shane has done because of that crush, Shane will probably have to either change his name and transfer universities or fake his own death.