121 – 140 of 204 Works in Depressed Ilya Rozanov
- Depressed Ilya Rozanov ×
-
Back to the egg (it's crimson and gold) by Anonymous
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-02-15
Shane and Ilya once knew each other in what feels like another life. Years later, Shane has transitioned, buried his past and finally embraced his truest self. He comes to McGill to play on the men’s hockey team—only to find his roommate is Ilya Rozanov.
“Sorry—um.” Shane swallowed. “I’m Shane.”
Something passed across Ilya’s face, quick and unreadable. Shane’s pulse spiked, thudding loud in his ears. Did he know? If Ilya recognized him—if something clicked—what would stop him from telling the coaches? What would stop him from telling everyone?
Then Ilya smoothed it away, the moment gone as if it had never existed.“Huh,” he said. “Funny. I used to know a Shane. Pretty girl. Good at hockey.”
Shane’s eyes widened. His mouth went dry. Was Ilya fucking with him?
“Oh—um. I—”
“Relax,” Ilya cut in, lips curling into something almost amused, almost sharp. “You are very pretty, too.”
- Part 1 of Back to the egg (it’s crimson and gold)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 30,961
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #78981291
-
Ilya Rozanov, get loved.
- Part 1 of Duty of Care
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 145,224
- Chapters:
- 25/25
- Files:
- 4 versions
- AO3:
- #77087096
-
How a Russian Takes his Porridge by lavagirlultra
Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
2026-02-05
Ilya's supposed to tell Shane when he's getting bad again. He's promised, over and over, to ask for help. To reach out. To let Shane take care of him for once. Ilya genuinely means it when he makes this promise. He has no intention of breaking it. The issue is this: Ilya doesn't always realize things are getting bad. Actually, he almost never notices until someone else does. or: In the midst of a depressive episode, Ilya wonders if Shane truly understands what he's signing up for.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,248
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #78926836
-
mostly is plenty by amongtheshadows
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-02-05
“I feel stupid,” Ilya admits, the words slipping out thin and brittle. “I should be able to do this.” Shane pauses for a fraction of a second, then resumes, gentler still. “I know you think that,” he says. “But right now, your job is to be here and let me help. That’s it. You’re doing great.” *ilya is stuck in a depressive episode and shane helps him through it*
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,488
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #78931026
-
Take me out the dark (take me home) by Anonymous
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-02-04
Ilya rounded the desk, and his heart didn’t stutter but simply stopped. For an endless second everything stilled around him. Shane had found them, his letters and his journals. And the world turned sideways slowly slipping away from Ilya’s grasp. Like someone had taken away the solid ground underneath his feet, leaving him falling indefinitely. His entire focus narrowed on the pages Shane was clasping in his hands and the shoe carton next to him.
He had always promised himself that one day he would show Shane, he would tell him about all of it. But he had never wanted it to happen like this. For Shane to just stumble across the pages that carried his darkest thoughts and simple truths of his life. Never wanted him to read those alone or ever. Because Ilya wasn’t sure he was strong enough to revisit all the open wounds he had spilled on those pages.
---
Or Shane and Ilya spend some time at the cottage between Christmas and New Year’s and unravel their past once and for all.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 40,342
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76323236
-
Ottawa, 2010. Canada wins the championship, and Shane slips away from the overwhelming celebration for some peace and quiet. Russia loses, and Ilya runs from his father’s furious disappointment to have a panic attack in the stairwell. Neither boy is really looking for company, but for a tentative few hours in the middle of the night, they find solace, acceptance and a first kiss, first time prelude to something heated and risky in each other’s arms. **** Ilya leaned in with lips pursed and Shane jerked away, “Whoa! What the hell are you doing?” “You do not want kiss?” Ilya frowned. “You stare at my mouth all night, same as after draft. I thought you wanted kiss.” “No.” Shane’s eyes were wide. “That’s insane.” “Okay.” Ilya stood up, hiding how bad the rejection hurt. “I misunderstand. Sorry. Do not worry, I will not say anything about–” “Wait.” Shane’s grabbed Rozanov’s arm at the last second, gathering all his courage, “Y- yes.” “Yes.” Ilya repeated. “What is yes?” “I mean yes.” Shane pulled him back in slowly, carefully, his heart racing. “Kiss me?” January 2010 Ottawa, Canada The party was loud. The championship had been hard won and well earned and the celebration was out of control. The players were cheering, jumping, hugging one another high off the win, the boys were spinning, laughing, shoving one another drunk on the adrenaline, some actually were high off smuggled in weed and others actually were drunk off punch spiked from not very secret flasks, and the coaches and chaperones were all too busy congratulating each other and themselves to pretend to care. Champions. Trophy winners. They were at the top of their game and feeling on top of the world, and the fever pitch excitement combined with the delirious exhaustion of a too long, too intense, too physically mentally emotionally grueling few weeks of tournament shook the walls of the multipurpose conference room on the basement floor of hotel. The noise was deafening, the chaos of it all dizzying, the crush of people and body heat and clamor of conversation suffocating and in the very middle of the room– –in the very middle of the room, team Captain and tournament MVP and all around Canadian Wunderkind Shane Hollander stared down at his glass of electric red punch and tried his fucking hardest not to throw up. “Hollander! We did it! We fucking did it!” Someone pushed into him, fell into him, grabbed him into a messy, sloppy hug and planted a messy, sloppy kiss on his cheek. Teammate. A buddy. Shane had played with him for years. “Shane Hollander! Second in the draft son, good for you! You make us all so proud!” Someone shook his hand, squeezed his palm, pounded at his shoulder. A parent. A chaperone. They’d known Shane since he was sixteen. “Wouldn’t be the player he is without a great coach!” Right in his ear, bellowing over the noise. Shane knew he was supposed to smile, supposed to agree, supposed to pound the no doubt spiked punch and whoop at the top of his lungs and let go – let loose– now that the work was over and the tournament was finished and he had another trophy and medal to put in his room. Instead, “I gotta find the bathroom!” he announced to no one in particular, cos no one fucking cared. They were lost in the party, reveling in the victory, but it was too much hammering against Shane’s head, too much crushing around his body and his stomach was twisting, head pounding, chest too tight, holy shit he had to get out somewhere and get some air. Out of the multipurpose room and into the hall. Down the hall and right past the bathroom. He ditched the cup of punch in the nearest water fountain and broke into a jog down the generically ugly carpeted corridor and by the time he crashed through the door leading to the stairwell, Shane was running. Gasping. He yanked at his tie and scrubbed at his face, rolled his shoulders and popped his neck and told himself to breathe. Started up the stairs to get to his fourteenth floor room and told himself to breathe. Huffed a self deprecating sort of laugh because Shane Hollander jogging up fourteen floors worth of stairs instead of partying with his teammates was exactly the sort of over dedicated, wet blanket, fitness and work ethic obsessed bullshit everyone expected from him so– so whatever. When his parents asked sort of sad and sort of resigned about why he hadn’t stayed to celebrate with his teammates and revel in the end of his juniors era, when they told him he probably should really definitely enjoy these moments of silliness and fun while he still could cos come fall he’d be playing professional and have to lock in, when his parents couldn’t hide how they worried about him isolating and clicked their tongues about him avoiding his long time teammates in favor of running stairs alone, Shane would call it a work out. He’d call it dedication. He’d brush it off and wave them away and tell them he might have gotten second at the draft but he was gonna be first in the league, rookie of the year, and to make that happen, he couldn’t party, he had to train. He certainly wouldn’t tell them how the noisy crowd and pushing unhinged behavior made his skin crawl and lungs seize up and head hurt, no way. There wasn’t anything wrong with him. He was just dedicated. Just focused. It was fine. He was fine. Nine, ten, eleven, floors up and Shane actually started to feel fine. The stairwell was soothingly monochromatic and cold enough to be clarifying, easing the clamor in Shane’s head until he felt like he could think again. His shoes didn’t make any noise on the concrete steps and landing after corner after landing after corner was empty, the doors to the adjoining halls all closed, it was a half hour till midnight so anyone who wasn’t partying in celebration was sequestered in their rooms mulling over their loss and packing for the trip home. It was nice. Peaceful. Space to move and space to breathe and twelve floors up Shane was starting to feel like maybe he wouldn’t just collapse face first onto his bed and scream, maybe he’d have the mental energy to watch a movie or read a little bit in his book, or– Noise in the stairwell up ahead, and Shane slowed at the door for the thirteenth floor landing, paused waiting to see if he heard the noise again, then peeked around the corner bracing himself so he could try and be passably polite to whoever had inadvertently interrupted his single minded dash up the stairs. Ilya Rozanov. It was Ilya fucking Rozanov sitting just below the next landing blocking the stairwell with his body turned sideways taking up a whole step, an unlit cigarette in one hand and his phone in the other… and tears on his face, reflecting the light from his phone, tracking down his cheek and dripping off his chin, landing wet on the cold concrete below. Shit. Shane came around the corner cautiously, curiously, fidgeting with the string on his hoodie as he asked, “Rozanov?” Ilya jumped when someone spoke at him from just a few feet away. He hadn’t heard any door open, he hadn’t heard any footsteps coming up the stairs and he jumped cursing when the empty echoing cold of the stairwell was shattered by the unexpected intruder.
- Part 5 of Heated Rivalry
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,284
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #78900926
-
Someone’s posted a shaky video from the stands, just behind the whole altercation. It’s close enough to catch the snarl on Rozanov’s face as he charges up the steps. He’s so pretty, Shane thinks faintly. The video starts too late to show what set him off, but it catches the tail end of what the man is yelling, the things he's saying about Shane, before pivoting to calling Rozanov a cunt and bitch and a pussy instead.
Rozanov drops his gloves for Shane. He wishes he could just be grateful, but it feels a little bit like the end of the world.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,793
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #77656981
-
Yesterday is History by Anonymous
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-02-02
Ilya wakes up confused. He’s pretty sure he fell asleep at home, in bed, with Shane fast asleep in his arms, but he wakes up on a flat surface with a pinch in his lower back. Had he fallen off the bed in the middle of the night? Neither he nor Shane move much in their sleep, but he supposes it isn’t impossible.
He levers himself up on one hand, stretching out his back slightly as he sits up. He’s definitely not in his bedroom anymore. The room he’s in is large and full of bulky hockey players spread out across the floor. Their soft groans and quiet questions begin to filter in his ears as they wake up as well. He sees some players he knows are on the Voyageurs, some of his own teammates, some coaching staff, and even some WAGs like Jackie Pike and Cassie Boodram. But the most important person in the room is laid out next to him, face slack and peaceful with sleep.
“Shane,” Ilya urges, shaking him. “Shane, wake up.”
- or
The obligatory characters watch their own show fic.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 23,720
- Chapters:
- 1/6
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #78757276
-
Safe in Your Heart by Maximoff_Wanda
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-01-29
Through the haze of his fear, Ilya tried desperately to remember the last time he had kissed Shane. The last time he had said I love you to him. He let himself live in the memory as a tear slid down his face. Ilya didn’t even have a photo of Shane that he could look at because they always delete them. For a brief moment, he thought about googling Shane just to look at him one last time. Then, just as quickly as their descent had started, the plane leveled out. Distantly, Ilya heard an announcement echoing throughout the cabin. He could barely translate it through the panic, catching words like “engine,” “emergency landing,” and “brace for a rough impact.” Or: What if the plane incident in The Long Game was more serious and Ilya got hurt?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,318
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #78554056
-
call it what you want by Anonymous
Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
2026-01-28
When Canadian transfer student Shane Hollander joins Boston University’s Division 1 hockey team, he expects intense practices, elite competition, and the pressure to be drafted. What he doesn't expect is to be roped up into tutoring the infuriatingly talented, infamous frat boy Ilya Rozanov. Between late-night study sessions, high-stakes games, and reckless frat parties—how will either of them survive the season?
or
Frat Boy Ilya Rozanov x Nerdy Shane Hollander
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 64,738
- Chapters:
- 12/?
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76634936
-
it felt like we were something by Anonymous
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-01-28
Ilya’s perspective of a few scenes from “something you can build” (and one scene that came after). Featuring: intense yearning for your committed long-term partner, supportive but confused himbos, Yuna Hollander’s momager energy, Scott realizing he’s a side character in someone else’s even crazier story, and a quick trip to California for Very Boring, Extremely Casual, Not-At-All-Romantic Reasons (aka, the epilogue).
(Companion piece! You will need to have read the rest of the series for this to make any sense—here be spoilers!)
- Part 3 of something you can fix
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,992
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 6 versions
- AO3:
- #78490321
-
and when it rains on this side of town, it touches everything by canadianwolfbird
Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
2026-01-27
Suddenly, there’s the sensation of a hand in his and Ilya smiles, turning to see his mother, Irina. She’s just as beautiful as he remembers. “Hi, mom.” A sad smile crosses Irina’s face in return - a smile Ilya was all too familiar with as a child. It’s the smile she used when she was trying to cover her pain. Ilya is confused - he thought his mother might be happy to see him, the way he is happy to see her. “What’s wrong?” Irina shakes her head a little, staying silent. “Tell me, please,” Ilya says, a little desperate. “You need to go home, Ilyushka.” His mother shakes her head again, squeezing his hand. “This is not your home.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,867
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #78179671
-
Ryan is having a bad moment when he realizes his sister's flight is delayed, then Chiron alerts on him.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,159
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #78344116
-
Something is Up with Cap Roz by Anonymous
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-01-25
Zane Boodham, Evan Dykstra, and Wyatt Hayes tries to bring Roz into the team. The man never goes out with the team, so they try to make him feel welcome in Ottawa.
- Part 6 of Heated Rivalry Oneshots
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,015
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #78244031
-
please let me die on the street where you live by Anonymous
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-01-24
Shane takes a hit on the ice. Is barely bruised, isn’t concussed, and is cleared to play in his next game.
Ilya spirals.
It starts to feel like the world is ending.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 18,286
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #77466036
-
When Roz starts speaking, frantically letting out Russian words from his hospital bed, Troy jumps in fear. “Ty emu uzhe pozvonila? Gde mama?” While Troy might not know Russian, or any other Slavic language that might have offered him some sort of context, he understands the word for mother. His heart clenches in his chest. Calling for your mom, especially when you’re hurt and confused feels instinctive. Troy is pretty sure he’d do the same thing. But the thought of coming out of your dazed state while desperately wanting your mom, and the loss of your mom coming crashing down on you must be a different type of agony. Roz starts speaking again, Russian coming to him easier than English must. “Mama? Gde moya mama?”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,564
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #78176106
-
Ilya knows he has to get up, soon, but he doesn't feel up to the task today. Shane notices.
- Part 8 of Hollander-Rozanov (they hyphenated)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,498
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #77965676
-
"There’s more to mental health than just suicide, moy lyubimiy," Ilya reminded him gently. "You know this." A Tampa player's brother commits suicide, and the press are determined to get a statement from Ilya.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,300
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #77907816
-
Live Through This (And You Won't Look Back) by Anonymous
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-01-18
Shane rolls onto his side and stares at the faint outline of the window. The darkness presses in, but it doesn’t feel as suffocating as usual.
Before he can talk himself out of it, he reaches for his phone. The screen lights up the room, too bright. His thumb hovers for a second, then he opens the thread.
Shane: I think we should tell Scott.
OR:
Scott kissing a man on live television gives Shane and Ilya the courage to do more than just spend the summer together. What starts as coming out to one person suddenly snowballs into something much bigger. It changes everything, except how much they love each other.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 49,912
- Chapters:
- 23/23
- Files:
- 5 versions
- AO3:
- #76826231
-
After their engagement, Ilya and Shane return to Russia under the cover of the Irina Foundation, knowing it may be the last time Ilya ever sets foot there. What waits for him is not closure, but grief, memory, and a past he learned to survive by becoming quiet and hard. It isn’t about going back to the life he escaped. It’s about one final goodbye—to the place that shaped him, and to the mother he never stopped missing. With Shane beside him—steady, patient, and fiercely careful—Ilya faces grief he’s spent years surviving, old fear that still lives in his bones, and the quiet truth he’s been avoiding: some doors don’t close cleanly… but you can still choose how to leave them. This is a story about grief, survival, and choosing a future where home is no longer a place, but a person.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 45,716
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #77223881