Summary:

Ilya's supposed to tell Shane when he's getting bad again. He's promised, over and over, to ask for help. To reach out. To let Shane take care of him for once. Ilya genuinely means it when he makes this promise. He has no intention of breaking it. The issue is this: Ilya doesn't always realize things are getting bad. Actually, he almost never notices until someone else does. or: In the midst of a depressive episode, Ilya wonders if Shane truly understands what he's signing up for.