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  1. It takes living through four iterations of the exact same day for Shane to think, okay. Maybe this doesn’t have anything to do with hockey.

    In his defense, it’s not like time loops come with a manual.

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    AO3:
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  2. Shane Hollander loves playing for the Ottawa Centaurs. Leaving Montreal, as painful as it had been, really has been one of the best decisions he’s ever made.

    He gets to play with his husband. He’s supported at all levels, from upper management down to the most casual of fans, and his teammates are genuinely kind and lovely people who care about him and his life and are invested in his well-being.

    Considering where he came from, Shane thinks it’s wonderful to work with such caring players who want what’s best for him and notice things about his life. It's really, really great.

    Until it isn’t, of course.

    “Hollander, what the fuck is that on your face?” Zane Boodram asks in the locker room while they’re changing for game five of the first round of playoffs.

    ___

    Or Shane has a mysterious rash, and his teammates are very concerned.

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  3. Ilya let out a quiet laugh, shaking his head. “I want to be perfect for you, Shane. To make up for all the time we lost.”

    “I don’t want perfect,” Shane said quietly, stroking Ilya’s cheek. “I want something real. Something that we fight to make work, because we want it so much. Because being together is so much fucking better than being without each other.”

    ***

    Ten years ago, Shane and Ilya loved each other in secret and let each other go anyway.

    Now Shane, captain of the Ottawa Centaurs, is a single dad to four-year-old Ollie, and good at pretending he doesn’t think about the man he lost when they were younger and terrified of the fallout of being caught. Then one chance meeting turns into drinks, lingering looks, old feelings, and suddenly Ilya Rozanov is everywhere again.

    Some things, it turns out, never really leave you.

    As Shane and Ilya fall back into each other’s lives - and into something softer, steadier, and openly theirs this time — they realise maybe they’re finally ready for the life they used to dream about.

    Or: two hockey players who were each other’s first love reconnect ten years later and slowly build the family they always wanted.

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  4. What if Ilya has a panic attack in the locker room after getting the news of his father's death after the Winter 2017 Montreal @ Boston game and no one can figure out what is going on? What if, while scrambling for answers, Cliff Marleau has the brilliant idea to call Jane?

    Or,

    What if Shane and Ilya's deeper emotional connection begins just before Ilya leaves for his father's funeral in Russia instead of on a phone call while they are separated by oceans?

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    AO3:
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  5. There was something wrong with Shane Hollander.

    He had known it since he was young.

    Most people-most kids, in general-had different hobbies and interests. Their attention drifted from one thing to another. They became fascinated with something for a few weeks, only to abandon it for the next shiny obsession that caught their eye.

    Shane had never been like that.

    When it came to him, there was only ever one thing: hockey.

    Obsessive.

    That was the word most people used when referring to his temperament.

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  6. Cliff Marlow and Ilya Rozanov have been hooking up for years. Cliff is the only person that Ilya trusts to top him. Tonight, Ilya is going to show him how it's done.

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  7. Scent patches were mandatory for anyone participating in World Junior's, but a lot of the Russian guys Shane saw in the hotel or around the rink had them loosely attached to their necks or not quite centered over their scent gland. Shane had been on his way to his parents' car when the wind shifted, and he smelled that Rozanov, leaning against the wall and not-at-all-surreptitiously fishing a carton of cigarettes out of his pocket, must have been one of them.

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  8. According to widespread folklore, a red cardinal is a spiritual messenger or a sign that a deceased loved one is near.

    Snow has been falling since late afternoon the day before and has only just stopped, from what Ilya can tell anyway. The whole house is quiet beneath the blanket of snow. It feels so empty and he would feel lonely if he wasn't so fucking happy to be away from Andrei and The Colonel.

    And he's not alone, anyway.

    Because there is a red something just outside.

    ___

    Ilya keeps seeing cardinals when needs them most.

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  9. The best time to do it, really, would be just before Rozanov headed back to Moscow. His American friends would think he’d headed home early, and his family in the old country would believe he had stayed in the states longer. The confusion would delay the manhunt a precious few days, enough for Shane to be sure he was well away from the fallout.

    So that’s when he would do it, he decided. He would kill Rozanov after one of them won Rookie of the Year.

    -

    Shane has successfully gotten away with murder twice by the time he meets Ilya Rozanov, and he’s convinced the man will be his perfect hat trick. After all, such a powerful obsession with Rozanov must go beyond sexual. It must be the urge to kill. It has to be.

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  10. Cliff watches him squeeze the phone between his cheek and shoulder, lifting the jersey over his head as he continues to talk, a bit distracted now by the multitasking.

    “And was good practice, you know, for when I am your husband."

    Immediately, the locker room goes dead silent. And so does Rozanov, in fact.

    In which Ilya accidentally calls himself Shane's future husband in the middle of the Bears locker room. Worse still, they're not even dating yet.

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    AO3:
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  11. Ilya’s brows quirked again, and he flicked open the first page of the textbook, ‘and you decided to learn Russian now because...?’

    ‘Because I married a Russian man, and I figured it was about time I learned.’

    ‘You never learned with me.’ Ilya said.

    ‘No.’ Shane replied, tersely, ‘there was a lot I never did with you.’

    Or: After Shane's college relationship ends in heartbreak, he patches up his wounds by marrying a wealthy, older man, and he's so sure his life is perfect. That is, until his ex re-enters the picture, and he wonders if maybe he got it all wrong.

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  12. Hayden ran up, grabbed his hand and said in his dad-of-a-kid-having-a-meltdown voice “Hey, hey, it’s going to be okay Shane. They’re going to take good care of you. That appendix is going to come right out and you’ll be back in no time.” Shane’s teary eyes widened and then narrowed. “What?” he gasped out between shallow breaths. “Fuckin' hell, I told him not to say that.” the doctor muttered. “What do you mean? It’s not his appendix? What’s going on?” “Hollander is in labor and the baby is coming very soon, so Pike please let the EMT’s load him up. He’s going to Montreal General. We called his parents and they’re on their way.” ______________________________ Shane Hollander had been under a lot of stress lately, coming out to his team, supporting his secret boyfriend, ect. So something may have slipped through the cracks and was now going to make itself known right here on the ice of this Ottawa vs. Montreal game.

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    AO3:
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  13. All Shane wanted to do was to play hockey.
    He knew he was pretty much the best at it.

    What he didn't know, being the best was not enough.

    Being a gay Asian-Canadian hockey player didn't help anything at all.

    Nor did the fact that he got drafted to Ottawa, the team where Ilya Rozanov was already the biggest star.

    Or,
    An alternate universe where Shane is openly out as gay. Ilya is still closeted bisexual. And they both play for the same team- ie, Ottawa Centaurs.

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    1
    AO3:
    #85216911
  14. Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov are thirty-five, still dominant on the ice, and absolutely, definitely not ready to become parents. But in a matter of weeks, Shane learns that he has a breeding kink, a few extra organs, and a medical condition that turns what he previously considered a medical impossibility into a tiny blip on a CT scan. -OR- The medically feasible mpreg nobody asked for but I wrote anyway. This piece is complete, beta read, and will be released in three-chapter increments. [UPDATE: All parts now available! Thanks for reading. <3]

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    AO3:
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  15. Ilya
    Guess what

    Shane
    What?

    Ilya
    We are getting married tomorrow!!

    Shane
    Oh shit, I meant to tell you
    A thing came up, sorry!
    Totally unavoidable

    Ilya
    SHANE

    or: Hollanov take the 'two birds, one stone' approach to their wedding day.

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    2 versions
    AO3:
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  16. Shane Hollander ✅ @shanehollanderofficial 
    I’ve seen many publications over the years speculating on my own, and my husband’s, hockey stats and accolades in relation to our romantic relationship and when the public assumes it started. 

    We don’t owe this to anyone. But we’ve also been playing professional hockey for seventeen years and we’ve both run out of ahem, cares to give.

    On the right is a photograph from the behind the scenes of our joint CCM advertisement in July of 2010. This photo predates the hundreds of combined accomplishments listed on the left. 

    Oh, and it was also taken about six hours before our first kiss. 

    -----

    or; a year from retirement and out of fucks to give, shane reveals their timeline to twitter in response to the latest speculatory article on their relationship. hollanovs across the world rejoice, centaurs celebrate their beloved dads, and former teammates share the not-so-subtle clues they missed the first time.

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    AO3:
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  17. If Ilya Rozanov was set to be branded for life in the space above his butt crack, he was damn well going to pay a premium for it.

    Booking with one of the most exclusive tattoo studios in North America was the easy bit.

    Having his brain melted into oblivion by Shane Hollander’s steady hands and even steadier voice was decidedly not part of the plan.

    Or, the one where tattoo artist Shane is very good at giving instructions.

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    AO3:
    #86331121
  18. "No, it's okay, it's not that big of a secret or anything now, I guess. The worst part was pretending I did not like him, like, even as a friend. And it took so much to accept that, god."

    "Ilya partied a lot those years, if we listen to the rumors."

    Ilya raises his hands. "Hey, I was young and stupid."

    Shane looks at both of them confused for a moment. "Ah, no, no, I was the difficult one." Three heads point at him violently. Shane furrows his brow, confused. "What?"

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  19. “I’m Anania, this is Gaydar, and I’m going to find out if you are gay, straight or a homophobe, what is your name, and what are your pronouns?”
    “I’m Cliff Marleau.” Cliff smiles, then remembers the rest of the question. “Oh! Uh…he and him. Oh, and his. He, his, him?"
    “Are you asking, or…?” Anania eyes him with confusion.
    "No, it’s him, his, he.” Cliff nods his head with each word, saying them carefully.
    “Are you trying to get the order right?” Anania purses her lips to hold back a smile.
    “Yeah.” Cliff admits.

    OR: Cliff Marleau goes on Gaydar and has several identity crises.

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    AO3:
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  20. “Ilya, what are we gonna do?” Shane says.

    Ilya finishes whatever he has been doing on his phone, and tosses it gently to the bed beside him. He crosses the room to Shane, stands in front of him, squeezes into his shoulders with his big hands, rubbing them like he means to warm them up.

    “Looks like we will have a little vacation,” he says, with a big obnoxious grin.

     


     

    Boston and Montreal are sent to Paris to play against each other in an exhibition series in January 2017. Ilya and Shane decide to stay in Paris for one more night. Just one more night, so they can talk. Maybe finally understand each other.

    They aren't expecting a volcano to erupt in Iceland and close all the airspace in Europe, leaving them stranded there. Together.

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    Chapters:
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    Files:
    5 versions
    AO3:
    #82703591
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