141 – 160 of 177 Works in Internalized Homophobia
- Internalized Homophobia ×
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What kind of role model can't handle a little bit of pressure? * Shane has a bad day, leading to a meltdown. Ilya helps pick up the pieces.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,287
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #77521141
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After a mix-up leaves Hayden with the wrong phone for three days, he ends up learning more about Ilya Rozanov and his secret girlfriend, Jane.
Another Hayden-Finds-Out, because we can't have too many.
*now with the extra continuing Hayden-Rozanov friendship text threads*
- Part 1 of Haydenov Phone Swap
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 17,661
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Files:
- 7 versions
- AO3:
- #77323121
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Drafted to rival teams and thrown together by circumstance, Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander begin as enemies on the ice: sharp hits, sharper words, and an undeniable tension neither wants to name. What starts as stolen moments and secret encounters slowly deepens into something far more dangerous. As desire bleeds into longing and walls begin to crack. Between the brutal culture of professional hockey, fear of exposure, and the weight of everything they refuse to say out loud, both men must decide how much of themselves they’re willing to risk. Hidden is an angsty rivals-to-lovers story about secrecy, obsession, and the terrifying pull of loving someone you were never supposed to want. OR Ilya fell first and he fell harder.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,253
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #77461746
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Ilya tracked the movement with his eyes, his tongue darting out to wet his lower lip. Shane shuddered. He had no idea what to call this, this… electricity. He had never felt anything like it before. Deep down he was pretty sure he knew what an outsider would call this but that couldn’t be. He had dated women. Several women. The relationships had been… mostly fine? The women had been lovely. They had been good friends. They had kissed - politely and in front of people a lot of the time - it had been a usual, typical relationship. He was just a gentleman… right? As the air sucked out all his breath, as he plunged deep underwater and felt his ears beginning to pop, Shane could see Ilya moving closer to him. Gently, Ilya placed a hand on Shane’s knee, rubbing his fingertips in careful circles. Shane was sure he should have died from lack of air by now. ** Or: Ilya Rozanov only wants two things: to be a principal ballet dancer and for Shane Hollander to be his boyfriend. Unfortunately Shane doesn't know what he wants.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 30,381
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #77400361
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Cumbersome and heavy body by Sweettree
Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
2026-01-08
God, he was having a freak out and it was gonna be a bad one. “I can’t do this I can’t do this. I can’t I can’t. why?! I can’t! I can’t.” Shane was sobbing. He could breathe he couldn’t hear. His whole body was burning. Not like on fire, but it was tingling. Like an energy was trying to escape him from all directions. Like anxiety was trying to seep out of every pore in his skin. Or Shane has a really bad meltdown during a game.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,331
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #77324576
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No Further Questions by pause_to_read
Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
2026-01-08
Shane has spent his entire career rising above it. After one dirty hit, one slur, and one question too many, he stops. A press conference becomes a confession—and a line is finally drawn.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 27,045
- Chapters:
- 3/?
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76307726
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i don't know where the switches are (or where you keep the cutlery) by morganalegay
Heated Rivalry (TV)
2026-01-08
Shane knows, logically, that Ilya doesn’t really think he’s boring. Not in a mean way, not in a way that’s meant to gnaw at him. He is boring. He wears the clothes his stylist picks out for him, he does ad campaigns, and he tries to look sexy instead of uncomfortable. He puts a thousand accent pillows on his bed because his interior designer tells him to. He wears the Rolex watch and makes sure he wears it well. He knows Ilya is just poking fun at him. Ilya doesn’t really mean he’s boring; he means Shane is comfortable- that he’s safe, and that he hasn’t had very many safe things in his life. Shane is happy to be that, if that’s what Ilya wants (if that’s what he likes).
- Part 1 of hollanov cringe compilation
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,617
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #77312171
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Rozanov posts on Instagram a lot. Not on his feed, but his stories. Every time he lands in a city, he posts a story. Usually it's just back of his seat, or sometimes the view out the window—on the tarmac, never anything exciting, one of just many cities their lives are broken up into—and a location tag. Low effort. It’s pretty obvious what it is. Guys laugh about it, call it Rozanov’s Fuck Signal. The easiest way to get the hot girls who follow him to slide into his DMs. Easy pussy.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,682
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 2 versions
- AO3:
- #77262141
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“Why are you out here alone?” Ilya asks. “Who left you here?” Hesitantly, Shane’s eyes cast up at the apartment building. Ilya follows his gaze, confused. “I’m sorry,” Shane says softly, “I went home with someone.” Ilya’s head snaps in his direction. “What?” -an episode 4 au where shane goes home with the bartender instead of rose, and it goes very, very poorly-
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,818
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #77178106
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Snapbacks and Sigma Phi by darkbluedarkblue
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-01-06
Shane Hollander meets frat boy Ilya Rozanov in a too-loud, too-crowded basement at a fraternity party. And maybe it's strangely attractive to watch Ilya win at beer pong.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,365
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #77222841
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“Bless me, Father,” Shane said, voice steady out of habit. “For I have sinned.” Ilya Rozanov is an eighteen-year-old who was sent to a Catholic all-boys boarding school by his dad to straighten his messy behavior, where he meets the religious boy who knows nothing but to repent to his sins at least once or thrice a week. Shane Hollander believed that praying every night and putting God first is what matters over everything, and boys who are like Ilya are resented by the nuns and the church. In a place built to mold boys into men of God, some sins are harder to confess.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 26,297
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #77063401
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The bus was just a run of the mill charter bus. Nothing special. No obnoxious Greek letters to indicate that- Well, fuck. “Mom,” Shane hissed suddenly, getting closer as she waved to bus full of frat boys. “You cannot be serious.” (Professor/college student AU with a side of frat boy Ilya)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,528
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #77078556
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know it's for the better / no, it's for the better by selfishambition
Heated Rivalry (TV)
2026-01-03
Ilya Rozanov has been carrying his mother's ghost since he was twelve years old. Sochi is where the weight finally breaks him. Russia is eliminated in the most humiliating loss in their history, and their captain sits on a twelfth-floor balcony railing thinking about letting go. Shane Hollander has a gold medal game in fourteen hours. He comes anyway.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,371
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 2 versions
- AO3:
- #77026136
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When Shane lets himself think about what it might be like at All Stars, there's a blurry gap where he's standing. Ilya will be wearing something stylish and sexy — probably a shiny shirt that makes Shane want to grab him and never let go. There's nothing Shane owns that fits in that category. But Reebok and Rolex have both had him work with stylists for appearances in the past. He pulls up the photos of those events, and flips through the photos. He sends them to Rose. Which of these is better? She replies to the Rolex photo with six exclamation marks. Shane Hollander's five rules of how to not look gay (and how he breaks them for Ilya Rozanov) + one time he doesn't have to.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,166
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Files:
- 2 versions
- AO3:
- #76273881
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Love You in the Dark by Anonymous
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-01-02
Shane Hollander returns from his rendezvous with Rozanov wearing a gutted expression and a shirt that isn’t his.
OR: Hayden Pike finds out the truth. Sort of.
A/N: Title from the Adele song.
- Part 2 of My Moon
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 858
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76964566
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To Be Remembered, Is To Be Loved by BrokenColors
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-01-01
Shane Hollander forgets his marriage. Ilya Rozanov doesn’t forget how to love him. As Shane recovers from a concussion that fractures his memories, the life they built together resurfaces in quieter ways. Through routine, touch, shared space, and an intimacy that refuses to disappear. Love, it turns out, doesn’t always need memory. Sometimes, it just needs time. -------- tl;dr - Hollanov's Amnesia AU in which Shane's last memory is July 2010, a.k.a the first time they hooked up in Toronto after shooting the commercial. Problem is, it is 2022, and they have been married for almost a year, but Shane cannot remember the past 12 years of his life with Ilya.
- Part 1 of To Be or Not To Be
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,876
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76882061
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Shane is used to keeping his mouth shut when his teammates spout off bullshit Or: Five times Shane Hollander lets people talk like homophobic assholes around him, and one time he's reminded that it isn't supposed to be that way.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,921
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76801556
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Ilya looks up at the black night sky and mutters something in Russian. “You want to pay me fifty Canadian dollars to fuck you?” Or: Shane runs into Ilya on a street corner the night before the Prospect Cup and makes some assumptions. (Because every fandom needs a mistaken-for-hooker fic).
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,027
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76814166
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without changing a part of me by gurlsrool
Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
2025-12-31
"We could have some fun tonight. You, wearing my clothes…” “Shut up,” Shane says, annoyed by the thrill the words send through him. Life would be so much easier if he wasn’t wrapped around Ilya Rozanov’s finger—or fingers is probably more accurate. Or: 5 times Shane didn’t plan on stealing Ilya’s clothes, +1 time he absolutely did
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,089
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 3 versions
- AO3:
- #76708056
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I thought I'd uncovered your secrets (but turns out there's more) by promienny
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2025-12-30
Ilya Rozanov was a showy alpha, the type that glowed under the spotlight, specially in the rink. He spoke very outwardly, even if his english left him hanging sometimes, and got along well with the other alphas in his team. The picture was quite different with his opponents. They didn’t like one bit the shenanigans he got up to in the middle of games, some considering him one of the biggest assholes in the MLH, specially because he didn’t cower from using his liquor scent to overwhelm his opponents. Now, active hockey players that were omegas? Counting with Shane there were a total of one. Reading about the history of the MLH in the 90s he was aware there were at least three fully out omegas that partook in official games in the last 20 years, but none of them were first line players and quietly drifted into obscurity after the end of their short-lived careers. That made Hollander’s position specially tricky, since he wasn’t a fully out omega. or Shane Hollander has a big secret, being an omega in an alpha dominated field. And his attraction to Ilya Rozanov could put his whole career in jeopardy.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 12,144
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76117226