161 – 180 of 204 Works in Depressed Ilya Rozanov
- Depressed Ilya Rozanov ×
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Lonesome Is A State of Mind by zankiefanatic
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-01-08
Set ~6 months after The Long Game. Shane and Ilya have settled nicely into married life, and the big stressors of sneaking around are finally behind them. *Enter all that mental health shit we barely addressed at all* Ilya finds himself in the thick of a depressive episode, and Shane finds himself desperately auditioning for Husband of the Year. There is love and feelings and therapy.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,006
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 2 versions
- AO3:
- #77297996
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you can ebb and I can flow (and we'll take it slow) by foxjournals
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-01-08
Shane hears him, loud and clear, but it’s like his words are suddenly shallow and hollow, coming in bits and pieces as they funnel through one ear and out the other, and he swears he’s listening, swears he’s trying to hang onto every word out of his boyfriend's mouth, but that white hot static is louder than ever. His brain feels fuzzy and his eyes blur and whether it’s from unshed tears he hasn’t noticed yet or for another reason completely, he isn’t sure. He isn’t sure how he got from point A to point B, but all he knows is suddenly he can’t breathe. Suddenly, he’s six feet under, water encasing his lungs as they shrivel and expand into nothing. Or: Shane and Ilya get into a fight, and the only way out is through panicking Or: Shane uses a safeword in the middle of an argument
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,007
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 2 versions
- AO3:
- #77306591
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"Please text!" David and Yuna coming over for dinner after Shane and Ilya's visit. Ilya gets to know Shane's parents and realizes just how much he loves being a part of a family.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,138
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #77258216
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Ilya dug deeper into the bag and pulled out a sturdy, leather dog collar, dark brown and buckled. Quick as a wink, he held it up, dangling it directly at Shane’s neck. "You make cute puppy. Shchenok Shane."
Shane glared, his face heating up instantly, and slapped Ilya's hand away. "Stop it!"
Ilya advanced closer, his stance casual, yet dominating. "I am serious. Consider this gift. It says, 'I belong to Ilya Rozanov.'... Come on. Put it on. Be my good boy."
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 32,145
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Files:
- 2 versions
- AO3:
- #74771191
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Shower Thoughts by CaNiTOuCHyoUrMaNgoEs
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-01-07
After years of hiding, Shane and Ilya are finally playing for the same team. Everything should be perfect, right? Except Shane is acting weird and Ilya can’t figure out why. Second languages are hard to navigate and distractions keep interrupting them. So how is Ilya supposed to figure it out?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,964
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #77229581
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In which Ilya’s phone gets hacked and his photo album detailing his and shane’s relationship is leaked to the world. Shane doesn’t understand at first why he would have kept all the photos—the evidence, but he learns to understand.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,312
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #77252546
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Dancin' with my eyes closed by stargazingstormtrooper92
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-01-06
"Sorry. Just realized something just now.," Ilya laughs. "What?" "Loons," Ilya says and laughs again. "Loons?" Yuna repeats confused. "When I went to the cottage last summer Shane made fun of me because I never heard the loon call before. I was so scared. I called it stupid canadian wolf bird," Yuna lets out a little laugh, Ilya continues - "I just realized that these ducks on my baby blanket, they look like..." "Loons," Yuna finishes with smile tugging on her lips. "Yes. Loons. Shane will make fun of me," Ilya groans but not maliciously. He takes the blanket out of Yuna's hands and brings it to his face, trying to see if it still smells like home, like his mom. But the smell was gone and his heart lurches. (...) "Tell me the stories. All of them." *** Or: Ilya has the flu when he recieves a package from Svetlana containing his childhood memorabilia from Russia. Mother son duo Ilya Rozanov and Yuna Hollander strikes again ❤
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,633
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #77228631
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When the Centaurs' plane to Florida loses their engine everyone's fine, except for Ilya who'd been scratched by a broken bottle in all the jostling. Shane hears the news, sees the report of "non-life-threatening injuries" and panics. Somehow, JJ manages to get them both to Florida before the Centaurs' game starts.
- Part 6 of In The Loonie Bin (Mars' Hollanov Fics)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,692
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #77125756
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(ass)inine confessions by badmetaphors
Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
2026-01-05
"You ARE a pervert." "Yes, but I am Shane's pervert. Is different." "That's not the defense you think it is." "And when we—" Ilya stopped himself, grinned. "Is probably too much information, yes?" "WAY too much information." Ilya delivers a TED Talk titled "Shane Hollander 101" and Hayden is the unwilling audience.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,551
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 2 versions
- AO3:
- #77123441
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i hope you're gonna get out soon by feeling_the_aster33
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-01-05
Set after The Cottage except Ilya has another season with Boston before his free agency. When they played each other for the first time that season Shane was excited, but Ilya didn't share the sentiment. There was something wrong with him, he was chirping more than usual and checking a lot harder than necessary. Shane wished they could just talk, but Ilya wasn't in the mood. Things escalated in a way neither of them ever thought they would. Or: In all the years of their rivalry, Ilya and Shane have never fought on the ice before. At least, not before tonight.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,119
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #77159471
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other forms of intimacy by Anonymous
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-01-04
Shane and Ilya have a lot of sex. A lot of hot, intimate, dirty sex. But sometimes they don't. Sometimes, for one reason or another, they find more intimacy in the unexpected moments where their plans to fuck don't work out.
Or:
Shane and Ilya taking care of each other.
• • •
I: Shane Hollander has too much to drink.
II: Ilya Rozanov gets the fucking flu.
III: Shane Hollander suffers an Autistic shutdown.
IV: Ilya Rozanov misses his mother.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 24,139
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Files:
- 2 versions
- AO3:
- #76618196
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hand to mouth (i'm getting by) by Pale_Blue
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-01-04
The box lay on the table between them and Ilya scowled at it. Antidepressants. He could practically hear his father scoffing from beyond the grave.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,584
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #77062251
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I can watch the old days, she was beautiful then by harperose
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-01-04
So he followed Ilya. He followed Ilya into the living room. And then, he waited. Waited for Ilya to collapse onto the couch and do nothing- to stare at nothing. Something that he had been doing more and more recently. Waited for Ilya to pull out his phone and facetime whoever he was fucking when Shane left Canada. Waited for Ilya to pull out a secret bottle of vodka and down nearly the whole thing. (Waited for Ilya to pull out a bottle of pills and accidentally take one too many.) But Ilya didn’t do any of those things. Instead, he moved towards the shelf filled with DVDs and movies from Ilya's childhood that were still trapped in VHS. It was nighttime, they were supposed to be sleeping. But they were both awake, Shane knew they were. But Ilya didn’t. Ilya probably thought he was the only one awake– something that Shane let him believe by keeping his eyes shut, his breathing even… And by resisting the urge to reach out, to part his lips and ask where his boyfriend was going tonight– what his boyfriend would do tonight. After vodka and sex, Ilya shouldn’t be doing anything other than sleeping. Normally, he would be dead to the world and Shane would once again feel like he was sleeping next to a corpse. A corpse that, every once in a while, let out a deep snore that sounded more and more like a snort of laughter every time he had the pleasure of hearing it. The mattress underneath them shifted thanks to Ilya’s sudden movement. Movement that he only made when he was certain that his bed companion was asleep. Shane wasn’t sure if he should be thankful or not that Ilya’s test for tonight to see if he was awake or not was just gently whispering his name into the darkness. Because he enjoyed the small kisses that ilya would press to the back of his neck or whatever part of him he could easily reach without risking the mattress moving too much and risking rousing Shane. Shane, who Ilya thought was sleeping when he didn’t even twitch after a few kisses that normally he would find irresistible. But tonight, there were no kisses. There was only a call of his name. Maybe that was a good thing though. After all, if Ilya began pressing kisses to his skin again, Shane doubted he would be able to ignore them. Not after what happened tonight– definitely not after what happened tonight. So, Ilya only called his name softly. And when he didn’t reply, he began moving. Moving out of the bed– away from Shane. And towards wherever he had been going at night. A place where Shane would discover– he was brave enough to discover after lacking the courage the previous nights. Suddenly, the bed stopped moving. Ilya had finally completed his mission and slipped out of it. But Shane would not follow suit. Not until he was certain the other man was no longer in the bedroom. He only had to wait a few seconds for that to happen– to Ilya to leave him all alone in the bed in the home they were building together. Shane’s eyes fluttered open, watching Ilya retreating back as he crept down the hallway. And then, when it was safe to do so, he followed his partner who didn’t really feel like the partner he had committed his loyalty and life to all those years ago. Because Ilya was being secretive again– just like he had been before they decided to be together. Really be together . Normally, Ilya would open up. Or, well, the new Ilya would open up… eventually. But it seemed like Ilya had reverted back to his past self that was riddled with secrets and avoidance. And well Shane… Shane was worried. About so many things– and all of them had to do with Ilya recently. So he had to know– know something that he knew would cause him to feel guilt about what he found out. Because, in a way, it felt like he was betraying Ilya– betraying his trust to spy on him and uncover a secret that years ago he wouldn’t even attempt to uncover. But that was years ago. And now things were different. So many things had changed– so many things had come to light. And Shane needed to know. He needed to lessen the ever growing knot of unease in his stomach. So he followed Ilya. He followed Ilya into the living room. And then, he waited. Waited for Ilya to collapse onto the couch and do nothing- to stare at nothing. Something that he had been doing more and more recently. Waited for Ilya to pull out his phone and facetime whoever he was fucking when Shane left Canada. Waited for Ilya to pull out a secret bottle of vodka and down nearly the whole thing. (Waited for Ilya to pull out a bottle of pills and accidentally take one too many.) But Ilya didn’t do any of those things. Instead, he moved towards the shelf filled with DVDs and movies from Ilya's childhood that were still trapped in VHS. A furrow appeared in Shane's brow as he watched Ilya pick out an old VHS he had teasingly suggested upgrading to a DVD so many times before. And that furrow only deepened, just for a moment before it ruptured with silent understanding, when Ilya forced the television screen to come alive with that old movie. A movie that Shane knew wasn't supposed to be this. Because this… This wasn't a mainstream movie that made its way onto VHS and trapped inside that case. This was something else.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,695
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 2 versions
- AO3:
- #77073996
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Lay Your Head on Me by madeleineh32
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-01-04
Shane had made a joke, a passing quip, that if only they could somehow defy biology and reproduce naturally, that their child would be an unstoppable force of a hockey player. Hereditary. Genetic. Those were the words he’d used. Ilya knew what they meant. Or: Ilya thinks about what may have been passed onto him from his parents, and Shane comforts him. Ilya inhaled a shaky breath. He was, perhaps, overthinking. But also maybe he wasn’t. It had been an innocent, playful conversation about kids. Shane and him often spoke of their hypothetical children, joyfully imaging their lives post-hockey. They weren’t quite there yet, but it was something that, for a while, had been definitely mapped out in their future. So why was he breathing like the room was going to run out of oxygen? “Ilya?” Shane rested a careful hand on Ilya’s thigh. They were sat outside, the evening chill only just beginning to settle on their skin. The fire Shane had made was still flickering, though, casting a warm orange glow upon both men. “M’fine.” Ilya’s words were stilted, decidedly un-fine as he choked them out. He puffed out his cheeks, exhaling again, slower this time, furiously swiping at his eyes which were beginning to prickle with the threat of tears. He would not cry about this. “Come here,” Shane murmured, pulled Ilya sideways. He was like putty, folding immediately and nestling his head in Shane’s lap. It was warm, safe as Shane interlaced his fingers through Ilya’s hair. His other hand ran up and down Ilya’s arm, over the goosebumps that had raised the skin on his biceps. He sniffed once, then again. Blinked. Let his eyes lose focus as he watched the flames licking the sides of the fire-pit. “Is stupid,” Ilya muttered. “No.” “Da.” “What is it? You don’t… want kids?” Shane asked carefully, his voice measured. Ilya could tell, though, from years of hearing Shane’s voice in every capacity, that it was tinged with fear, fear of the answer. Ilya’s sure Shane knows that’s not the case; they spoke about kids often. Ilya loved kids, was great with them, and Shane knows that. He huffed out a laugh. Swiped at his eyes again. Nudged his head further into Shane’s lap, let Shane’s hand tighten against his scalp. He brought his other hand up and pressed it against Ilya’s forehead. Shane knew that always grounded him for some reason, having the pressure on his head. Stopped the noise somewhat. “When we say we adopt - of course. That is okay. I want that.” He hears Shane exhale, feels him relax slightly. “But when you say…” his English seemed to fail him. It always seemed to when he got like this. He shut his eyes, sighing with frustration. Shane had made a joke, a passing quip, that if only they could somehow defy biology and reproduce naturally, that their child would be an unstoppable force of a hockey player. Hereditary. Genetic. Those were the words he’d used. Ilya knew what they meant. “Take your time.” Shane’s hands wander back into Ilya’s hair, more gentle than the earlier pressure. “About our child being best hockey player. Genetics. DNA. Heredit–” He groans in frustration again. “Hereditary,” Shane finishes off softly. “Da. That.” Ilya’s hand reached up and he wraps his fingers around Shane’s wrist. “I was thinking. I am glad we cannot have baby. Together.” Shane’s confusion is palpable even without Ilya being able to see his face. He liked this about Shane. He liked being able to explain things to him in a way that made sense, because it made things make more sense in his own head, too. Shane just hums, urging Ilya to continue. “We know I am depressed, yes?” Shane’s fingers curl into his hair. “Like my mother. Maybe not same, exactly. But similar. Probably… hereditary.” He says the word slowly, testing it on his tongue. He hates the way his accent wraps around the syllables. He wishes Shane knew Russian, fluently. He wishes that he could ramble away, go off on tangents, not have to think everything through in both Russian and then English. He wishes he could speak perfect English. Perfect accent like Shane when he speaks French. Perfect Shane and his perfect genetics. He wishes he didn’t get wound up like this. He spirals so easily these days. He wishes he wasn’t so depressed. He wishes his mother hadn’t been depressed. Stop fucking spiralling. He feels his heart rate pick up again, hears his breathing go shallow. “Ilya.” Shane’s voice is grounding. It’s stern, without being unkind. He inhales again, deeply, his fingers pressing more into Shane’s wrist. “Sorry.” His voice is thick, and his mouth feels dry. Shane presses his hand against Ilya’s head again, and he leans into the pressure. “We’re managing it, though.” Shane’s voice is quiet as he cuts through the easing tension that hangs in the air. “Together.” “Yes.” Ilya pauses before speaking again. “Dementia is also hereditary,” He lets his words sit between them, hears Shane exhale as the other shoe drops. “That’s what you’re worried about?” Ilya lifts his hand in a shrug. “Yes, Shane. I think that is something anyone would worry about, no?” He doesn’t mean to sound like an asshole, especially not to Shane. “Okay, asshole.” Shane’s voice doesn’t hold any venom, only fondness, a little sad, even. Ilya almost smirks. They sit in silence for a moment, Shane carding his hands through Ilya’s curls, the crackle of the fire the only thing filling the absence of words for a moment. He speaks again.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,335
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #77083736
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“That he doesn’t need to be coddled and watched 24/7 just because he tried to take his own life. He has to show that he isn’t fucking crazy.”
- Part 2 of Irina Rozanova haunts the narrative
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,774
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76985031
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i'd share a life (and you'd share a life) by feeling_the_aster33
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-01-03
Set in The Long Game. What if Shane was the one on the plane? And what if Ilya was on the bus with his team when Shane texted him? Based on a Tweet (link in notes)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,183
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76994601
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The Weight of the Quiet by DamnSterek
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-01-02
WARNING: the Long Game spoilers WARNING: Depression and (passive) suicidal themes Ilya navigates grief, isolation, and the weight of holding himself together, until he learns to let himself be supported when he can’t hold everything together alone.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,878
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76900701
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When the Time Comes by Rivulet027
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-01-02
Ilya and Shane discuss moving Ilya's niece to Ottawa.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,142
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76964036
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Ilya Rozanov is not okay, and he’s been hiding it for too long. One night in May changes everything and Shane is forced to face the cost of loving someone who is hurting. Luckily Hayden and his mom help him along the way. Or Ilya Rozanov tries to kill himself
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,924
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76830531
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A bottle of pills lies discarded on the floor, empty. Shane’s body is splayed over his side of the bed like a ragdoll, his arm hanging off the side in a cruel caricature of how Ilya had found his mother all those years ago. Ilya isn’t sure what noise he is making. He doesn’t care. His body feels like it’s being ripped apart. The pain is akin to being skinned alive. or: Ilya comes home to his worst nightmare.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,558
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76881051