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  1. “You are still you, yes?” Ilya repeated. “You are still slow hockey player with pretty freckles, yes?” It was a weak attempt at a joke, so Ilya shook it away and tried again. “You are still Shane, same person, same brain, yes?” Shane blinked up at him, thinking. Then, nodding slowly. “Mostly. Yeah. I don’t know about a name or anything yet, but—. Yeah. I’m still me.” “Then it does not matter.” ________ A trans Shane Hollander AU

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  2. Ilya Rozanov was an asshole. Everybody knew this. Sometimes, though, secretly, he wasn't.

    Or, 4 times strangers were kind to one another, plus a few times Ilya Rozanov started publicly bashing bigots online.

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  3. Their eyes lock, and for a moment the only sound in the room is their panting. The moment feels heavy, stretched thin, like both of them are waiting for it to snap.

    And then Shane slaps him.

    It’s not too hard - probably not even enough to leave a mark - but the sting of it is the spark that lights the flame. Ilya’s eyes roll back inside his head. His mouth drops open in a silent gasp as ecstasy rolls through his body like a forest fire, scorching every one of his nerve endings with white-hot desire.

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  4. Wiebe could tell he was wearing Ilya down, but he still looked nervous. "Ilya," Ilya stilled. To his team he was always Rozanov or Roz or Rozy, never Ilya. "You're our guy. There's nobody I'd rather be our captain, to lead this team to another Stanley Cup. It's clear you don't like the guy, but we both know how good this could be."

    Ilya jerked his head in a nod. "We will destroy everyone, this is true." Wiebe seemed satisfied. Ilya stood to leave and delivered one last look at Wiebe "But I do not have to be happy about it."

    ***
    Shane and Ilya are estranged for years after Tuna Meltdown. Then Shane confuses everyone by signing with the Raiders.

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  5. Ilya has a terrible idea for a Tiktok.

    So of course, he has to do it!

    AKA Ilya "Professional Ragebaiter" Rozanov has some fun fucking with his husband while the internet watches.

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  6. Entering an actual relationship near the very beginning of when they first meet, Shane is still paranoid about pictures of them getting shared so Ilya buys him a Polaroid camera instead to document their relationship all the way back from 2012. The only problem is that he never intended for Yuna to find the album.
    ---
    “I know we can’t have pictures of each other, but I still want them,” he confessed, still fiddling with Shane’s hair for his own comfort. “And I thought maybe...if they were just ours, you might be okay with it.”  

    Shane stayed silent, eyes glancing between his tense expression and the bag as he pulled out a Polaroid camera. His thumb was gripping it so hard he thought it might crack, his anxiety manifesting physically.  

    “Ilya...” He paused, finally sitting up a bit more. Enough that Ilya had no choice but to let his hand fall away from his hair or else, it would seem too clingy.  

    “Is fine, if you don’t like idea,” he clarified, even though the thought of being rejected terrified him more than he could possibly express. “Was just a thought—” 

    “I like it,” Shane interjected before he could spin himself into a tizzy he would deny ever feeling in the first place.  

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  7. Ilya Rozanov has been perfectly fine with keeping his relationship a secret. Mostly.

    He is also perfectly fine when an American reporter accidentally tweets 'Shane Holender', which Russian Twitter promptly translates into something that roughly means the 'Finisher of Holes'.

    He just did not expect to be outed by Google Translate.

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  8. A hooded figure watches the light from the bedroom go out from where he waits. The man is filled with glee. He can hardly believe he found Shane Hollander. Now it was time to make Shane his. He lost him once before. He will treat Shane with nothing but respect and love. After tonight, Shane will realize that he is the one Shane wants. Not that idiotic Russian.

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  9. There is a strong scent of antiseptic in the air, the kind that always haunts hospitals and morgues. Ilya thinks it is fitting. He thinks, perhaps, that some vital organ of his is failing irreparably, and he is only waiting for a doctor to call out his time of death.

    “You have lost your memories.” It’s not a question. Ilya’s burning hand drops from Shane’s cheek.

    “Yeah,” Shane says easily. “Wait, shit, did no one tell you?”

    “Is it temporary.” Ilya’s voice is hoarse, pleading. “This memory loss, is it… tell me that it is temporary.” Please, please, God. I know I promised to give anything up, but-

    Shane looks at Ilya with wide eyes. “They don’t know,” he says gently. He seems to be catching onto Ilya’s distress despite the drugs in his system.

    Ilya feels cold all over. Yes, any moment now, they will cover him with a white sheet and take him away.

    Shane's concussion in S01E05 leaves him missing his memories from the last decade. Ilya is now the only person in the world who knows the truth about him and Shane, and is forced to question whether to burden Shane with their complicated relationship or to walk away.

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  10. “Have you talked to Scott Hunter?”

    “No—”

    “I did. Briefly, after MLH Awards in June.”

    “And… what did he say?”

    “Hey,” Scott says, and when Ilya looks up at him he’s watching him with a softer, concerned expression. “Are you okay?”
    ------
    Ilya wants to know how to do the hard thing

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  11. Shane and Ilya aren't exactly the most internet savvy. When you're hiding a secret relationship for over a decade, you clearly avoid social media. Even when that means you tend to be a bit behind, especially compared to your young rookies.

    or

    Snippets of text exchanges between Hollanov, their team, and their rookies.

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  12. It's 2016. Shane Hollander is dating famous actress Rose Landry, and appears to be very happy about it. Not that Ilya would care. Ilya is very satisfied with the trajectory of his life. At least he's not Scott Hunter, who is holding clandestine homosexual hook-ups in his team's hotel room in Boston.

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  13. Shane loves his husband. He really does! But sometimes, it can be hard to put that love into words.

    So maybe, when he tried to put it into words, he ended up writing a couple songs.

    And maybe he released them under a fake name.

    And maybe they got insanely popular somehow.

    -

    AKA the one where Shane and Ilya are married and in love and Shane is a little insecure about his ability to love his husband. So he becomes a faceless pop sensation. By accident. Mostly? It's complicated.

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  14. During their annual two weeks at the cottage, Shane and Ilya both fall ill (and claim the other is responsible for it) resulting in two days of coughing and chugging electrolytes while neither of them admit how bad they feel. Even though he attempts to hide it, Yuna can hear her son coughing over the phone and decides to go check on him during his yearly 'silent retreat', entirely unaware that he had company. Or that his company came in the shape of Ilya Rozanov.
    ---
    Even with the blinds pulled closed to keep the lights out she could still see Ilya Rozanov in her son’s bed; arms wrapped around him tightly. They looked asleep. Not just napping but deeply unconscious. 

    Yuna supposed that was the effect of the half empty bottle of Nyquil on the nightstand.

    She swallowed harshly, stepping closer to the bed. Her son was tucked against Ilya, face buried against his neck as a source of warmth and comfort. “Shane...” she whispered, shaking him gently. “Shane.”

    He didn’t stir, breaths steady as he slept like a rock. Her eyebrows knitted together, gaze shifting to Ilya, who had his jaw resting on top of Shane’s head, one of his hands under his shirt to feel his skin against his palm. 

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  15. “We don't even know what this question is. Go on, Haas, I will even let Shane answer first, and when he gives terrible advice, I will tell you the right thing to do.”

    To Shane’s horror (and Ilya’s delight), Luca Haas asks for dating advice.

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  16. “I think you don’t hate me as much as you want to. I think you’re curious about me. I think-” Ilya leans in, voice dropping even lower. “I think you watch my highlights. Late at night, when no one is looking.”

    Shane Hollander is bred for greatness: son of a future Prime Minister, Canada’s golden boy, first overall pick. Ilya Rozanov is Russia’s answer: the President’s son, cocky and brilliant, everything Shane is supposed to beat.

    Their rivalry begins at seventeen with an overtime goal and a blown kiss. It evolves in hotel rooms and stolen hours between games they’re supposed to hate each other through. For seven years, they hide what they are while the world watches them compete, until one catastrophic hit forces Ilya to make an impossible choice in front of twenty thousand people.

    What starts as Cold War propaganda becomes something neither of them can control. And when you’re in love with your rival, winning and losing stop meaning what they used to.

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  17. 5 Times Ilya showed his appreciation for yoga anonymously +1 Time he signed his name

    Set after My Dinner with Hayden - and told from the POV of Shane's Yoga Instructor

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  18. Ilya: Image Attached
    Ilya: look is you
    Shane: what
    Shane: how is that me

    Or, Shane and Ilya's texts through the years. They think about each other more than they'd admit.

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  19. The house where his mother killed herself is nothing but a pile of ash. It should satisfy him, maybe, that the building that was once her prison is gone. It was his prison too, for years. But something about the way the charred brick has crumbled in on itself makes him feel empty.

    Suddenly, Ilya Rozanov is a single parent to his orphaned niece. Suddenly, he has a whole lot more to lose.
    The only way to keep his love safe, is to keep it secret.
    (Its not like he doesn't have enough of those already)

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  20. Ilya rubbed at his face with both hands, trying to knead the heaviness away. It didn’t budge. Probably just caught something from the kids, he thought to himself. Some kind of virus. Except he'd been feeling like this for weeks now. Maybe longer. It was hard to tell. The days blurred when you were tired, and he’d been tired for longer than he wanted to admit. Maybe it was something still lingering in his system. That happened sometimes, right? Viruses could hang around. He'd read that somewhere. Post-viral fatigue. Yeah. That was probably it. Some dormant virus still working its way out of him. Or, Ilya and Shane are married with kids, living the life they fought for. But Ilya's depression is rearing its ugly head again.

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