101 – 120 of 204 Works in Depressed Ilya Rozanov
- Depressed Ilya Rozanov ×
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You Have a Little Life in You Yet by OrYouCouldHaveMine
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-03-12
PLANE CARRYING OTTAWA CENTAUR’S HOCKEY TEAM, COACH, PERSONNEL, REPORTEDLY LOST CONTACT, PRESUMED MISSING - Shane’s eyes scan over the words, once, twice. It’s not true. It’s some mistake. He knows it. “Lost contact?” Hayden asks, his tone a mix of concerned and confused. “What’s that mean? Like they lost their ability to communicate? Won’t that make landing hard?” J.J. frowns. “I do not think they will be landing,” he says solemnly. -- The Ottawa Centaurs plane crashes in the Canadian wilderness. Shane tries to get answers while Ilya tries to stay alive.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 38,306
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Files:
- 2 versions
- AO3:
- #80745021
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Shane Hollander was smart. Shane Hollander was strong. But when Shane Hollander's defenses are down, he is surprisingly easy to kidnap, if you are stupid enough to do so.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 31,452
- Chapters:
- 10/?
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #79889891
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Set towards the end of The Long Game. The day after Ilya loses the playoffs and tells Shane he's like his mother, Shane hustles them off to the Cottage. A lot of feelings that haven't been discussed get discussed.
“Moya lyubov, I know we have plans to be very honest with each other, yes?”
Shane pulls away slightly, but he only makes it an inch or two, because Ilya’s still hugging him close. “No, no, do not run away, Hollander. Stay.”
Shane stops trying to move and lets himself sag back into Ilya. Ilya huffs contentedly, “Yes. Good. We have this plan, and it is a good plan. But you said we have time, yes?”
“Forever,” promises Shane, “I’m with you forever, Ilya.”
“Yes,” Ilya agrees, another gentle kiss pressed to the corner of Shane’s mouth, and Shane turns a little so that it turns into a real kiss. Ilya smiles against his lips as he pulls away, “So maybe we slow down? We do not have to share all of our feelings today, okay?”
“Okay,” Shane agrees with a little laugh, “Yes. Some of them can wait until tomorrow.”- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,913
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #80708941
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rough new prizes by Anonymous
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
2026-03-05
You are not supposed to smoke when you have badly bruised ribs. You are not supposed to strain yourself by doing too much. You are not supposed to go right back to the exact same thing that hurt you and keep doing it until you can't take the pain any more or something snaps. These things are contraindicated.
The team doctor explained all this to Ilya wearily, with a look that said he already knew Ilya would do all these things. Oh, and one more thing— you are not supposed to lie down for a long time and not move, by the way, so don't do that either.
Unfortunately, these are the four main things that Ilya was planning on doing for probably the rest of his life after breaking up with Shane, so... that's just great. Good to know.
(or: "After the MLH awards, in June..." Ilya needs to talk to Scott Hunter. He goes to the Kingfisher.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,105
- Chapters:
- 3/5
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #79899351
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do wolves mourn? (i leave that up to you.) by hcneymooners (romqntics)
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-03-04
“And because—” Ilya stopped. He was not a man who stopped easily, who lost words, whose tongue failed him. Shane did this to him: removed his fluency, made him reach for things that were not in their usual places. “Because, Ilya?” Shane stepped closer, and Ilya could smell him—the scraping tang of metal and stretched leather and beneath that, something faintly sweet—and this, in combination with the use of his name, made him dizzy, weak. “Because I would rather be known by you than survived by you," Ilya managed. “And if I am to be killed, I would rather it be by you than by another stranger.” Shane went very still. “I’m still a stranger,” Shane said after a moment. “Less now,” Ilya answered. ⋆ or: shane, as part of the winter soldier program, and ilya as the son of its creators. ( you do not need to know a single thing about marvel, the winter soldier, or any of its associated media to read this. )
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 24,532
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #80573881
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Ilya lies on the ground and looks up at the stars and waits to die.
The pavement is cold.
Ilya wonders if his mother was cold when she died. He thinks maybe not, since she didn’t die in a deserted alleyway in Vancouver. But she did die at home, and maybe that was even colder.In a world where the Cold War ended but the Iron Curtain never fell, Ilya Rozanov is the most promising figure skater in Russia. At only 19, he’s an easy candidate for gold at the 2010 Olympics in Vancouver, one of the only times Russia allows its citizens to leave the USSR.
And then one mistake means Russia will never let him come back. Hollander won’t stop trying to talk to him, but the last thing Ilya wants to do is talk to the man who ruined his life. He might be stuck in Canada, a refugee, for the rest of his life, but that doesn’t mean he has to talk to Hollander ever again.
He wanders Vancouver aimlessly and doesn’t think about Russia, or Hollander, or the ice that can never be home again.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 15,808
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #80382621
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A Little Less Like Lonely (A Little More Like Home) by Anonymous
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-03-02
When Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov arrive in Ottawa, everyone expects the hard part to be hockey.
What they don’t expect is how difficult — and how hopeful — it will be to finally build a life together.
As the Centaurs rebuild, Shane and Ilya navigate new teammates, new expectations, and the unfamiliar challenge of letting their relationship exist outside of stolen moments and long-distance phone calls.
Because it turns out, being on a losing hockey team might be the easy part.
Learning how to have a future together is something else entirely.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 72,997
- Chapters:
- 22/22
- Files:
- 2 versions
- AO3:
- #77896136
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All I Want is Only You by Anonymous
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-02-28
At 19, the rising NHL star Ilya Rozanov got injured and had to quit hockey forever. He became a pornstar instead.
Fate still let him meet Shane Hollander, the world's most famous hockey player.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 38,543
- Chapters:
- 25/25
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76185661
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There is a strong scent of antiseptic in the air, the kind that always haunts hospitals and morgues. Ilya thinks it is fitting. He thinks, perhaps, that some vital organ of his is failing irreparably, and he is only waiting for a doctor to call out his time of death.
“You have lost your memories.” It’s not a question. Ilya’s burning hand drops from Shane’s cheek.
“Yeah,” Shane says easily. “Wait, shit, did no one tell you?”
“Is it temporary.” Ilya’s voice is hoarse, pleading. “This memory loss, is it… tell me that it is temporary.” Please, please, God. I know I promised to give anything up, but-
Shane looks at Ilya with wide eyes. “They don’t know,” he says gently. He seems to be catching onto Ilya’s distress despite the drugs in his system.
Ilya feels cold all over. Yes, any moment now, they will cover him with a white sheet and take him away.
Shane's concussion in S01E05 leaves him missing his memories from the last decade. Ilya is now the only person in the world who knows the truth about him and Shane, and is forced to question whether to burden Shane with their complicated relationship or to walk away.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 28,332
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #78908881
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You don't have to be sorry (for doing it on your own) by Anonymous
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-02-26
The house where his mother killed herself is nothing but a pile of ash. It should satisfy him, maybe, that the building that was once her prison is gone. It was his prison too, for years. But something about the way the charred brick has crumbled in on itself makes him feel empty.
Suddenly, Ilya Rozanov is a single parent to his orphaned niece. Suddenly, he has a whole lot more to lose.
The only way to keep his love safe, is to keep it secret.
(Its not like he doesn't have enough of those already)- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 41,342
- Chapters:
- 20/20
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #79565526
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strange days are here again by hollanov_1410
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-02-25
Ilya rubbed at his face with both hands, trying to knead the heaviness away. It didn’t budge. Probably just caught something from the kids, he thought to himself. Some kind of virus. Except he'd been feeling like this for weeks now. Maybe longer. It was hard to tell. The days blurred when you were tired, and he’d been tired for longer than he wanted to admit. Maybe it was something still lingering in his system. That happened sometimes, right? Viruses could hang around. He'd read that somewhere. Post-viral fatigue. Yeah. That was probably it. Some dormant virus still working its way out of him. Or, Ilya and Shane are married with kids, living the life they fought for. But Ilya's depression is rearing its ugly head again.
- Part 8 of Our House
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,084
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #80202636
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throw a brick right into that stained glass by whatareyoulookingfor
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-02-25
When he returned he noticed that Ilya had already changed the sheets and was sitting on one side of the bed, staring at the wall. “You okay?” Shane asked. “Yes,” Ilya said. He sounded distracted. “Okay…” Shane didn’t buy it. Why does Ilya take longer than usual in the bathroom post-sex? Why is he just staring at the wall after he's changed the sheets? This Shane would never just roll over and go to sleep. or: A fix-it scene for after Fabian's show.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,941
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #80217861
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Rozanov wanted to hurt himself, or tried to hurt himself, or did hurt himself. Acknowledging the idea feels like staring directly at the sun. If Shane lets the thought settle, it’ll burn its way through every other thought he has.
Rozanov is catching a pillow that Sveta throws at him and smiling. He told Shane that therapy is working. He’s here. He’s fine.
Shane takes careful breaths and taps his right thumb to his fingers one by one as he sets aside that confusion and terror. Rozanov did not invite him here to freak out, so Shane’s not going to freak out.
Or: The summer after he wins the Cup for Boston, Ilya almost dies. Shane tries to cope.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,773
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #80214556
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say whatever you feel (be wherever you are) by minnieishere
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-02-22
Ilya shifted him gently, until Shane was half across his chest, head tucked under Ilya’s chin. The steady thump of his heartbeat under his ear was a metronome for Shane’s still unsteady rhythm. Shane let his eyes close. The thrumming in his chest was still there, quieter now but never totally gone. But recognising he wasn’t alone, that Ilya would never leave him alone steeled his nerves. or five times Shane Hollander needs a little support, and one time Ilya Rozanov does too.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,966
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #80023491
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the old religion, humming in your veins by Anonymous
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-02-22
Ilya feels like a zombie; he’s an approximation of something living.
He knows what this is, of course. He isn’t stupid. He was just a child when he watched the life bleed out of his mama, long before she stopped breathing. He watched her sweet smiles grow hollow, and her kind eyes fall blank. He felt her slipping through his fingertips like grains of sand in an hourglass; her time was up before Ilya had truly even realised that it was running out.
When he looks in the mirror, he sees her staring back at him: blond hair, and blue eyes, and an emptiness that kills.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,642
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 2 versions
- AO3:
- #80066631
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i care, i care, i care by amongtheshadows
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-02-18
“If it ever gets bad,” he’d said quietly, eyes serious in a way that made Ilya’s chest ache, “you call me. Or you call my parents. You don’t get to drown by yourself anymore. They love you. I love you and that’s not conditional.” Ilya had brushed it off at first. He always did. “I am not drowning.” Shane had just tilted his head. “Promise me anyway.” And because it was Shane, because the word promise meant something sacred to him, Ilya had nodded. “I promise.” (ie. ilya gets sent a photo of irina while shane is in montreal and does the right thing and reaches out for help)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,311
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #79764826
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Shane's eyes squeeze closed again. “We had reason to put rules in place. Protocol. If ever—if it got to a place where, if he was ever feeling like he might—"
Hayden’s body understands before his mind catches up. His blood runs cold for a second, stuck on the scrunch of Shane’s face, the clench of his fist, how desperate he’d been to see Rozanov—Ilya—just now. To make sure that he was okay. Here, in person.
Not hurt. Alive.
“Oh,” Hayden hears himself say distantly. “Oh, fuck, Shane.”
--
or, Ilya needs a place to go, and Hayden's happens to be the closest. It turns out to be a good thing.
- Part 1 of all lights turned off can be turned on
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,339
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #79787036
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The brush off Shane received when he suggested Ilya try medication was hardly surprising to him. What he found shocking was that he had actually done it. Without telling Shane, no less. And if that wasn't startling enough, finding out the entire hockey community knew because of one ill-timed picture Cliff Marlow took practically knocked him off balance.
---
“Who knew Rozanov would be the poster boy for Prozac?” Hayden muttered with a huff. “God, he’s gotta be floating on cloud nine with that dose. Normal people take like what, ten or twenty? Sixty must mean he was damn near suicidal.”“Probably,” JJ agreed, shrugging. “I wouldn’t know, I don’t need to medicate myself to cope with life.”
“If he’s all doped up, how come he’s still always such an asshole?” one of the rookies questioned, earning a few laughs.
Shane just felt sick to his stomach. And angry. At his team and Marlow and mostly at himself. Ilya had done exactly what he asked and now, he was getting mocked for taking care of himself. In what world was that fair?
“Maybe that’s why he’s so aggressive on the ice,” another theorized. “He's trying to kill himself and take another player with him to make it look like an accident.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,183
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #79777351
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but they bring their boys up different by Anonymous
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-02-18
Ilya knows what he is. He has always known what he is. The word for it in Russian tastes like something you'd scrape off a boot. The word in English is bisexual, which is a nicer word, which he has heard, which he does not use. He uses other words. He uses the word his brother taught him. He uses it on himself before anyone else can. He grows up. He gets good at hockey. He moves to America. He... falls in love. (Or, five times people fail to notice Ilya being queer, and one time they have no choice.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 12,457
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #79764046
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Not According to Plan by ilyarozanovsmole (daniiireads)
Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
2026-02-17
While spending the summer in Russia, Ilya learns that Shane has mysteriously retired from the NHL. When he attempts to call, Shane’s phone goes straight to voicemail… Or the one where Shane finds out he’s pregnant, retires and goes ghost, but underestimates just how much Ilya Rozanov loves him
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 31,953
- Chapters:
- 14/14
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #78846316