1 – 20 of 75 Works in References to Depression

  • References to Depression ×
  1. His whole life, Shane has relied on systems. The system provides a constant, to help him cope with changes. But what happens when the wrong things become constant and the system no longer works?

    OR

    The arrival of 2 rookies makes Shane second guess his future with the Voyagers.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    58,466
    Chapters:
    6/8
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #93019606
  2. It was new, knowing he was cohabitating with his mother. They couldn't speak, not truly, and he couldn't feel her touch barring occasional cold spots, but there was a weight in the air just knowing she was there. Growing pains, Ilya thought softly.

    or

    Shane and Ilya struggle to be together while juggling his dead ghost mother's unfinished business, the mental illness Ilya swears he doesn't have, homophobia Shane promises he's not a victim of, and Russia which seems unwilling to let them go.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    80,462
    Chapters:
    9/12
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #80833321
  3. "Where were you this weekend, cap? We missed you at the barbecue."

    "I was at my boyfriend Shane Hollander's house."

    "Okay then! Keep your secrets, cap!"

    --
    No one believes Ilya that he's dating Montreal player Shane Hollander.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,489
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #93204391
  4. This is the story about the normal every day people who found out about Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov long before the world was told. This is the story of how the relationship between Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov changed their lives. This is the story of the people who knew, protected, and supported Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov... some for almost for thirteen years.

    OR

    Shane and Ilya were actually horrible at keeping their relationship a secret.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    125,324
    Chapters:
    24/24
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #92545581
  5. Box office manager Gabriella Marchaud returns from vacation to find her work best friend Ilya Rozanov spiraling into a playoff-induced depression.

    To pull him back from the brink, she devises a ridiculous plan: lure him back to Ottawa for a night of glitter, drunken chaos, and the transformative power of Eurovision.

    But she can't do it alone. She needs a team of hockey players willing to learn the sacred art of Europe's greatest cultural event—through 67 pages of history, two semi finals of training, and the kind of ridiculous joy that might just save Ilya from himself.

    Or

    Gabriella recruits the Centaurs into watching Eurovision so she can save Ilya from playoff depression.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    76,056
    Chapters:
    16/16
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #87761781
  6. His sister grabs him firmly by the shoulders. “Shane Hollander. My brother, my wombmate, my least favourite twin. I literally do. not. care. if you introduce yourself to this boy or not, but you have been yammering about him nonstop for fucking days and you very clearly want to talk to him, so as your older sister–”

    “–I was literally born first–”

    “You were removed first, we both know God wanted me to–”

    “You were breech and tried to take your fucking placenta with you, I don’t think ‘God’–”

    “A girl causes an almost-fatal hemorrhage one time and no one ever lets her fucking forget it! Whatever! The point is that you clearly want to talk to this guy and we just saw him walk over there alone so now is your perfect fucking chance! Just go say hi! Stop overthinking it!”

    “Wow, stop overthinking, what revolutionary advice. Thank you so much for that game-changing fuc–”

    She punches him in the shoulder hard enough to actually hurt. “Okay how about this, fuckface: either you go introduce yourself to him or I will.”

     

    OR: My brain said what if Shane Hollander had a sister, and then all this happened. Bon appetite.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    32,874
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #87693446
  7. When the MLH announces all games are cancelled for the rest of the evening, Shane Hollander knows something is weirdly wrong. There's no precedent for it in league history. A string of messages from Ilya and a phone call from his mother confirm the worst: something has happened, and he doesn't know what.
    ------------------------------------------------
    The Centaurs plane crash is serious. In the aftermath, life changes for Ilya completely, and Shane has to learn how he fits in.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    78,070
    Chapters:
    23/23
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #81762981
  8. Shane Hollander is the (lonely) golden boy of hockey, trying to decide what's best for his future.
    Ilya Rozanov is a (lonely) grad student and part-time waiter, having left the hockey world due to injury and Russia for his own sanity.

    They meet in New York, and fall in love.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    138,037
    Chapters:
    31/31
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #86533971
  9. When Ilya's father finds out that Ilya has been sleeping with Sasha, his coach's son, Grigori kicks Ilya out of the house and tells him never to return. Injured and alone with nowhere to go, Ilya reaches out to his childhood friend Svetlana and her father, Sergei. As a retired MLH star and permanent resident of the US, Sergei Vetrov is able to help Ilya seek asylum while he waits for the draft. However, the story behind Ilya's abrupt departure from Russia is leaked just weeks before the MLH draft is scheduled to be held, and the repercussions will change the direction of Ilya's future in the MLH forever...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    75,955
    Chapters:
    18/25
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #83300166
  10. Hayden Pike's mother left when he was seven. She didn't come back. This, really, was not important, because Hayden built a family and a life and was happy - until it was important, when Laura Newfield (formerly Pike) reached out with a letter and an address. For Hayden, the question was whether whatever his mom had to say to him after all this time could tell him something about the parts of himself that he didn't quite understand and had never wanted to understand. How this ended up with him and Ilya Rozanov on the road to find these answers together, he wasn't entirely sure.

    or - Hayden goes on an odyssey of exploring his relationship with his mother, with Ilya as his guide.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    35,493
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #81859206
  11. Welcome to the Ultimate Game.

    If you’re looking for a chronicle of redemption or, worse yet, a fairy tale ending with a kiss under the snow, you’ve walked into the wrong locker room. This is the story of a sabotage.

    For ten years, the hockey world has feasted on the rivalry between two captains with the same hunger one brings to a public execution. And us? We served them the blood on a silver platter, while in the shadows of hotel rooms in Montreal or Boston, we exchanged fluids and secrets with the precision of two spies in enemy territory.

    They believe the ice is a sanctuary of heterosexual secrets. They don’t realize that while they were betting on our next elbow to the face, they were witnessing a long, violent decade of foreplay.

    Now, it’s time for El Plan.

    Shane is the butterfly flapping its wings on an underwear billboard. I am the tornado about to level the entire NHL.

    Grab your popcorn. It’s going to be a beautiful massacre.

    My name is Ilya Rozanov, and you can thank me later.

    Or: how Shane and Ilya gaslit the entire world by officially "starting to date" in 2020.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    75,201
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #76617896
  12. Gabriella Marchaud runs the box office for the Ottawa Centaurs. She likes spreadsheets, quiet evenings, and the predictable rhythm of processing ticket requests. Then Ilya Rozanov, the team's enigmatic new captain, shows up in her doorway with a hypothetical question about sneaking a guest into the stadium undetected. She expects to never see him again. Instead, he keeps coming back. With questions about chosen family, logistics, and a sadness that looks a lot like her own.

    or

    Centaur's Box office Manager, Gabriella Marchaud just wanted to do her job. But Ilya Rozanov wants to sneak a friend into the stadium to watch him play. Neither expected to end up friends.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    32,571
    Chapters:
    16/16
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #84253991
  13. If it’s one thing Zane Boodram was sure about himself, it’s that he was prideful. Annoyingly so to his dissenters and remarkably so to his supporters. Pride was engrained into him as a small child, growing up in the streets of Trinidad. It’s how it pushed him to climb the largest mango tree to get the big mango at the top, it’s how he dominated the street matches of football and cricket, it’s how he would walk with stride when any adult yelled his name whether it was out of correction or praise. Pride led him to hockey.

    Pride is also the reason he was losing his mind when Ilya’s appearances become less notable and his mood more irritable. Pride was also the reason he noticed that when the Voyageurs were in town and a BBQ aligned with it, Shane wasn’t eating the food he cooked anymore. It was driving him crazy.

    or
    Zane Boodram notices that his friends are going through things - his pride pushes him to fix it.

    Inspired by: Lean on Me by Bill Withers and Count on Me by Whitney Houston and Cece Winans from the Waiting to Exhale Soundtrack.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,077
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #85871321
  14. Ilya had told Shane to leave because they needed space - they needed some room to catch their breath so they could talk about things properly. So they could say sorry and fix the mess they had made. But one day apart stretched into two, into three, into a week, and suddenly Shane was on the other end of the phone, saying, ”Maybe this isn’t going to work, Ilya.” At least Ilya is good at that part; he’s an expert in being left behind. (Or, Ilya and Shane breakup. Then the Centaurs’ plane almost crashes.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,390
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    2 versions
    AO3:
    #84748281
  15. ~And from your lips, he drew the Hallelujah

    Ilya Rozanov leaves Boston and signs with Ottawa, trying to fight a slow slide into emptiness and find meaning in his life again. Shane Hollander is a lonely, struggling artist who lost his spark. When they meet by chance, they both have to decide what's worth living for.

    Or…Shane never gets the chance to become a pro hockey player, so they meet later in life. Basically, they’re both sad boys, but the healing will be worth it (mostly soft fluff, very low angst). More baggage, fewer hangups.

    ~You see I used to live alone before I knew ya.

    ——————————————————

    “So maybe we would have played together,” Ilya said.

    “Yeah. Maybe we would have been rivals,” Shane said, and that got a grin out of him. He couldn’t quite imagine it, but he thought that would have been fun, facing off against Ilya Rozanov. In another life.

    Ilya nodded slowly. “And yet here we are, meeting anyway. Maybe we were meant to.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    120,745
    Chapters:
    16/16
    Files:
    2 versions
    AO3:
    #83202531
  16. “He’s such a jock,” Cassie says with a chuckle. She puts her glass of dark liquor on the bar so she can fold her arms. When she sees Ilya looking at Bood, she laughs and shakes her head. “Oh no, I’m talking about your man. That guy is hockey if it was a person. And thank god for that, I’ve seen those Reebok ads.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,370
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #84497601
  17. The Centaurs had already been through one plane emergency. What are the chances of them being in another?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,785
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #80123401
  18. From across the rink, Shane watches Ilya get punched in the face. He keeps a distance from the mess playing out. He knows better than to go over and make it worse. He would be more worried about it if Ilya wasn’t laughing with blood running down his face as one of his teammates drags him away. He’s yelling at the player that punched him, and Shane is grateful he can’t hear what he’s saying because he knows it’s obscene. “Your boy is feral tonight,” Pike says to Shane. Shane groans. “He's not my boy.” When Shane is in junior high, Ilya's family moves to Canada. Instead of meeting as adults, they grow up together. Shane learns Russian and Ilya spends a majority of his time at the Hollander household. When they start their professional hockey careers, they have to learn how to be opponents instead of teammates, but also how to be apart for the first time in their lives. When Ilya suggests that they sleep together, Shane has to balance their friendship and their casual relationship.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    30,101
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Files:
    2 versions
    AO3:
    #80253536
  19. Shane and Ilya work at Crowell and Associates Marketing Firm. They have never worked together because their work styles are completely incompatible. A project forces them to spend more time together and explore whether or not they can actually get along.

    OR

    Ilya is a little shit just because he wants Shane's attention, what happens when he finally gets it?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    32,110
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #81718116
  20. Lily's Jane @jane1221
    Too many hockey players that think anyone gives a shit about them outside their circle. Nobody thinks about you Drapeau! You look like every drunk uncle

    Lily's Jane @jane1221
    Watching Ilya Rozanov play with the Centaurs feels like watching Michelangelo draft the sistine chapel. Messy now but its going to be the most beautiful team in the league when hes done

    Ilya: my love
    Shane: What?
    Ilya: you are the best thing that has ever happened to me

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,471
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #82675131
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