201 – 220 of 547 Works in Anxious Shane Hollander
- Anxious Shane Hollander ×
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When Ilya finds out of his teammates has been using, his decision to turn him over to coach has the entire team penalized and they lose their momentum right before playoffs. To make matters worse, even after a press release clears the rest of the Raiders of any wrongdoings, the whole league still things Ilya is a cheater. Including Shane's team, who talks about it nonstop until one night he snaps and starts a fight with his own team on the ice.
---
Ilya stepped towards him, hand grazing his elbow to try to get him to loosen up a bit. “You said, earlier, that it was me,” he mumbled. “You fought because of me."“Just a bit,” Shane joked weakly, looking back up at him. “They just- they hate you, Ilya. My parents, my team, my fans. And I hear it so much in the locker room or during practice, but on ice I- I couldn't fucking stand it anymore.”
“Is sweet,” he murmured, threading his hand through Shane’s hair and nudging him to lay his head on his shoulder. “But their words don’t hurt me.”
Shane sighed, nuzzling against the fabric of his shirt for a moment. “Hurts me, though,” he said softly. “I don’t like hearing anyone accuse you of cheating.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 27,503
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #80009641
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say whatever you feel (be wherever you are) by minnieishere
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-02-22
Ilya shifted him gently, until Shane was half across his chest, head tucked under Ilya’s chin. The steady thump of his heartbeat under his ear was a metronome for Shane’s still unsteady rhythm. Shane let his eyes close. The thrumming in his chest was still there, quieter now but never totally gone. But recognising he wasn’t alone, that Ilya would never leave him alone steeled his nerves. or five times Shane Hollander needs a little support, and one time Ilya Rozanov does too.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,966
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #80023491
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Shane Hollander is struggling to make ends meet. After his best friend Hayden sets up a dating profile for him on a sugar baby website, he learns that there are some men who will pay for anything - even companionship. ** EPILOGUE ADDED 02/20/26 **
- Part 5 of Hollanov
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 31,935
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Files:
- 2 versions
- AO3:
- #75530036
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Twelve hours, Shane reminds himself. Twelve hours, and then he can come home and sleep for as long as he needs with nobody to disturb him. He can do this. --- Or, Shane gets sick and thinks he can hide it. Ilya sees right through him.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,852
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #79976646
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Carrying your love with me by Thiamsalpha
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-02-21
While Ilya is away in Moscow, Shane struggles with the quietness in their apartment. What starts as a moment of weakness turns into a nightly habit when Shane begins wearing Ilya's jersey to sleep.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,498
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #79971186
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And then there is Ilya Rozanov after all of them, the cocky eighteen year old smoking in front of a no-smoking sign outside an arena in Saskatchewan. Ilya Rozanov, hockey player, born in Moscow, Russia to Irina Rozanova and Grigori Rozanov (though Shane wouldn’t really know this until much later). June 15, 1991. Shane was born before him so, technically, Rozanov has never known a life without Shane Hollander, which he will definitely lord over him whenever he’d get the chance to. His jersey number is 81. He’s a center like Shane. He’s the captain of the Boston Raiders. He’s a Gemini, though Shane has no idea how that affects him, if it has any bearing on his personality at all. Shane thinks there’s none because Rozanov is an asshole regardless, but all the tabloids insist that there is. He’s six foot three; only an inch taller than Shane. He’s a boy. There’s this thing that he does where he rubs his nose whenever he’s lying. It’s a pretty easy tell, and Rozanov is not a very good liar. He’s a boy, a boy, a boy.
Sometimes, he wishes Rozanov was a girl instead.
- Part 3 of a collection of hollanovs
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,375
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #79988341
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Shane swallowed hard, tears still slipping down his face, but he managed another breath. Then another. Each one shaky. Each one fragile. But they were coming. Ilya kept his hand steady against his back, the other still lightly holding his forearm. “You’re okay,” he repeated quietly. “I’m right here.” Shane’s voice came out broken and small. “I'm sorry. I couldn’t- I tried- I needed-” His words dissolved into another shaky inhale, frustration and shame mixing with the remnants of panic. Ilya didn’t press him to explain. He knew Shane’s mind was still tangled in whatever storm had triggered this. Right now, breathing mattered more than understanding. “You don’t have to say anything,” he said softly. “Just breathe.” --- The pressure gets to Shane and he has an anxiety attack mid-game.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,187
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #79927841
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Warm hands suddenly encased his, pulling them away from his shirt collar and back down onto the table. Shane risked a glance at Ilya and saw only concern and confusion on his face, but he couldn’t keep looking at him directly, couldn’t look him in the eye. Couldn’t let Ilya see him lose it like this, in public, all because the shirt felt wrong. Because it felt too much like being five and ripping hand-knitted jumpers from his body because they hurt. Like needing seams in his socks to sit a certain way. Like a childhood spent tearfully pulling clothes off his body until his parents figured out what fabrics he could tolerate. It felt like being seven and unable to explain to teachers why the other children didn’t like him, why he hid under the tables when the classroom was too noisy.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,538
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #79854871
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Jackie and Shane share a quiet moment hiding away from the chaos of a Voyagers party.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,255
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #79828081
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Stuck in an alt-world where he and Shane never hooked up as teenagers, Ilya is determined to get Shane back. To do that, Ilya has to figure out a way to get Shane to see him as anyone other than the Russian asshole who has spent a decade pissing him off. It can't be that hard to make your husband fall in love with you... right?
Basically: Shane Hollander makes a wish with good intentions. Ilya Rozanov wakes up confused, single, closeted, and miserable in Boston.
+Bonus Chapter where AltWorld!Ilya wakes up confused, married, out, and carefree in Ottawa
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 54,132
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #78206156
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Shane was freaking out. Coming out to his team DID NOT go well. Instead of talking to his friends, or Rose, he calls Ilya.
And then he follows his advice.- Part 1 of Boston AU
- Part 1 of My Autistic Shane Hollander Writings
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,106
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #79320546
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The brush off Shane received when he suggested Ilya try medication was hardly surprising to him. What he found shocking was that he had actually done it. Without telling Shane, no less. And if that wasn't startling enough, finding out the entire hockey community knew because of one ill-timed picture Cliff Marlow took practically knocked him off balance.
---
“Who knew Rozanov would be the poster boy for Prozac?” Hayden muttered with a huff. “God, he’s gotta be floating on cloud nine with that dose. Normal people take like what, ten or twenty? Sixty must mean he was damn near suicidal.”“Probably,” JJ agreed, shrugging. “I wouldn’t know, I don’t need to medicate myself to cope with life.”
“If he’s all doped up, how come he’s still always such an asshole?” one of the rookies questioned, earning a few laughs.
Shane just felt sick to his stomach. And angry. At his team and Marlow and mostly at himself. Ilya had done exactly what he asked and now, he was getting mocked for taking care of himself. In what world was that fair?
“Maybe that’s why he’s so aggressive on the ice,” another theorized. “He's trying to kill himself and take another player with him to make it look like an accident.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,183
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #79777351
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Shane Hollander works at a coffee shop, plays hockey, keeps his head down, and doesn’t ask questions he doesn’t need the answers to.
So when a new regular starts showing up—quiet, watchful, Russian-accented, and conducting invitation-only meetings in the back—Shane notices. When that same man takes an unsettling interest in Shane’s closing shifts, his routines, and his safety, Shane does what feels sensible: he adjusts his behavior and keeps his mouth shut.
Ilya Rozanov orders an Americano. He reads, but only in Russian. He worries when people work late alone.
They are operating with very different definitions of danger.
If he didn’t ask questions, he couldn’t be lied to.
The rules were simple.
1. Do not ask questions you don’t need the answer to.
2. Do not share personal information freely.
3. Do not be alone with Ilya Rozanov.
4. Do not give him a reason to think you’re afraid.- Part 1 of Private Meetings and Open Doors
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 71,777
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Files:
- 3 versions
- AO3:
- #78080711
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Not According to Plan by ilyarozanovsmole (daniiireads)
Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
2026-02-17
While spending the summer in Russia, Ilya learns that Shane has mysteriously retired from the NHL. When he attempts to call, Shane’s phone goes straight to voicemail… Or the one where Shane finds out he’s pregnant, retires and goes ghost, but underestimates just how much Ilya Rozanov loves him
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 31,953
- Chapters:
- 14/14
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #78846316
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how could I ever hate him? by Anonymous
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
2026-02-17
“Hello, moya lyubov,” he said sweetly. “How is your head?”
There was a pregnant pause where Shane must’ve stood there in shock, his mouth slightly agape as he lost the ability to use any of his bodily functions. Then Ilya moved to pull him into a hug, the physical contact shocking him back to reality. He pushed Ilya away from the door with his good hand, Ilya going along willingly, and closed the door as quietly as he could in his panic.
“Ilya, what are you doing here?” Shane asked, his voice barely contained. “How did you even get this address, did you find it online somehow?”
The softness in Ilya’s face morphed into a wicked grin, which didn’t make Shane feel any better.
“I got address from your mother, silly,” Ilya replied, without a hint of irony or sarcasm.
“My mother. You got. This address. From my mother.”
===
A follow-up to "why do you hate him?". Shane doesn't remember much from his time in the hospital, which isn't helped when Ilya decides to surprise him at his parents' home. Shane knows he should be happy but...it's a shock, of course. But the time together allows Shane to learn a lot about Ilya that he'd never had the chance to before.
- Part 2 of hate Rozanov, not Ilya
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 12,088
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #79640336
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“I am in control. I make the decisions,” Shane murmured to himself for the hundredth time that hour. He felt a little bit insane, sitting on the cold bathroom floor locked in a civil war with himself. On one side: his rational brain; on the other, the oily, persistent whisper trying to sell him a regret he couldn’t afford. His stomach squirmed with what could either be nausea or anxiety —it all felt the same at this point. Just do it. You’ll feel so much lighter and cleaner once it is all out of your system. The temptation to believe that lie was a physical weight. He was exhausted from the fight. He could feel his dinner sitting like a stone in the pit of his stomach, heavy and stagnant. He knew he probably would feel better if he could get rid of it. But… fuck. Or Shane is struggling with a dangerous urge and is flighting a lonely battle with himself on the bathroom floor. Until Ilya reminds him that he’s not alone.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,877
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #79675126
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margin for error by hollanov_1410
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-02-15
Shane's eyes burned. "What if I hadn't noticed?" "But you did." "But what if I hadn't?" Ilya pulled Shane against his chest, wrapping his arms around him. "You would have. Because you are Shane Hollander. When Shane Hollander has goal—like goal to keep our baby safe—nothing gets past him." He pressed a kiss to Shane's temple. "Is blessing and curse, yes? But mostly blessing." Or, 3 times Shane's hypervigilance caught something wrong with their kids before anyone else did, and 1 time Ilya had to confiscate his laptop.
- Part 6 of Our House
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,563
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #79545736
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Shane’s mind was fuzzy. The scratching of skates and the roar of the crowd overwhelmed him, distracted him. His head felt heavy, laden with sounds, not enough space to focus on the game. It felt as if his brain had fogged over suddenly, stopping him from thinking about anything other than how loud everything was. Shane felt his brain pulling him back, pulling him away from the game, drawing him into himself. A pressure built up behind his eyes and it was all he could do to not tip forward with the weight, feeling the heaviness of his brain. “-ander?”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,825
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #79612171
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'Jane' gets added to the Centaurs WAG groupchat, after Wyatt notices Roz wearing a ring...
pov Wyatt
- Part 1 of Hollanov/Centaurs Texting/WAG Fics
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 17,818
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #79372021
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Back to the egg (it's crimson and gold) by Anonymous
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-02-15
Shane and Ilya once knew each other in what feels like another life. Years later, Shane has transitioned, buried his past and finally embraced his truest self. He comes to McGill to play on the men’s hockey team—only to find his roommate is Ilya Rozanov.
“Sorry—um.” Shane swallowed. “I’m Shane.”
Something passed across Ilya’s face, quick and unreadable. Shane’s pulse spiked, thudding loud in his ears. Did he know? If Ilya recognized him—if something clicked—what would stop him from telling the coaches? What would stop him from telling everyone?
Then Ilya smoothed it away, the moment gone as if it had never existed.“Huh,” he said. “Funny. I used to know a Shane. Pretty girl. Good at hockey.”
Shane’s eyes widened. His mouth went dry. Was Ilya fucking with him?
“Oh—um. I—”
“Relax,” Ilya cut in, lips curling into something almost amused, almost sharp. “You are very pretty, too.”
- Part 1 of Back to the egg (it’s crimson and gold)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 30,961
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #78981291