1 – 20 of 120 Works in Fluff and Crack

  • Fluff and Crack ×
  1. Shane H-R

    He wouldn’t be able to fuck you in the waders?

    They fasten over the shoulder, right?

    And I assume to stay watertight there’s no fly situation?


    Cassie B

    Captain Harlot over here thinking about wader sex logistics


    Ilya H-R

    Sweetheart, should I get waders?

    Another WAG chat, another Valentine's Day - but this time, both husbands are in the group.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,620
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    2 versions
    AO3:
    #95287146
  2. SHANE: Lily.
    LILY: Hello
    SHANE: Dead to me.
    What the actual fuck?
    LILY: ??
    SHANE: what. The. Hell. Did. You. Do.
    LILY: ahh
    I am in trouble
    Yes?

     
    Or Ilya's teammates add "Jane" to the Boston WAG group chat in the height of their "no, we aren't falling in love, whatever do you mean" era (2014-2016-ish?).

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    72,113
    Chapters:
    31/?
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #81424231
  3. Harris: So, you know that cooking video I had Troy and Shane make?

    Ilya: Yes?

    Harris: It's genuinely one of the most painful things I've ever seen on camera.

    Harris: Like I've seen horror movies that made me feel more at ease than this.

    Ilya: Were you expecting anything less?

    Ilya: They are the biggest disasters we know.

    Ilya: **Affectionate**

    Harris: I mean, I guess I was just hoping it'd be super cute, you know?

    Harris: Two buff gay elite jocks cooking chicken parm? You can't go wrong, right?

    Ilya: Except when your two buff gay elite jocks cooking chicken parmesan are Shane 'small talk is a disease' Hollander and Troy 'awkward is a lifestyle' Barrett.

    Harris: Yeah, I should have known.

    Harris: This is what I get for being an optimist.

    Harris: And a greedy gay man who wants to edit videos of hot men cooking good food.

    Harris: Want to do a voice over for me so maybe I can salvage this?

    Ilya: Of course.

    Ilya: Any parameters?

    Harris: Oh, you know. Just don't embarrass me too much.

    Ilya: Send it to me and I will get it done ❤️

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,979
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #94228516
  4. Penelope (Dill)
    Omg get on with it, Cass!

    Cassie (Bood)
    Thank you
    Now, we must behave ourselves, ladies
    We have royalty in our midst

    Arden (Pointy)
    What the hell are you on about, Cassie?

    Cassie (Bood) has added Jane (Rozy) to the conversation

    Jane (Rozy)
    Uhh
    What is this?
    ______________
    or; "Jane" gets added to the Ottawa WAGs chat after Ilya drunkenly tells his teammates about "her"
    or or; Shane Hollander in his WAG era

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    34,991
    Chapters:
    18/20
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #85301686
  5. We Dem Boyz
    Vaughny added J.J, and unknown number.

    Vaughny: Fellas, I just spoke with the rookie in Ottawa, Boodram, and we realized there is no safe space in the league for minorities for us. I would make a big group chat, but I think the four of us is good enough.
    J.J: Ahhh, shit. Sounds good to me. Welcome to hell – I mean welcome to MHL Boodram!
    Vaughny: No, you were right J.J. Welcome to hell.
    Boodram: 😂😂. Thanks guys. I appreciate it.
    Shane: Yes welcome!
    Shane: Also, what does the name of the chat mean?
    J.J: Ahhh Captaine….

    Or Carter Vaughn creates a group chat with Shane, J.J and Zane and they become each other's support system.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    43,001
    Chapters:
    25/25
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #79088911
  6. Even after getting married, Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov are still a secret. No one, aside from their most trusted people, knows about their relationship.

    Sick of hiding, they make a plan to soft launch their relationship for the world to lose its mind about it.

    If that goes as smoothly as they plan it, is for their future selves to find out.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    38,177
    Chapters:
    15/?
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #82854666
  7. @SophiaSkatesBoston:

    I bought a FanMail from Ilya Rozanov for a laugh, thinking it must be an admin error to even have him listed but...

    [Video clip begins]

    Ilya Rozanov stands against a bare white wall, wearing athletic shorts and a tank top.

    “Sophia,” he says, faux serious, “thank you for requesting a birthday video. As you can see, I am taking this all very seriously. I have good neutral background, very plain, very boring. Very professional. Does not contain anything that would make the commissioner very angry. Is just a blank wall, I have checked. Because I consider the set up of my shots. I would hate to send happy birthday video with very big, very distracting secret in the background. Would be very unprofessional, very...”

    [Tap to keep watching]

    @CentaursCentral:

    Oh my God, he did not! I laughed so hard at this I think I pulled something.

    @NHL_OffTheRink:

    If you do one thing on hockey twitter today, let it be watching this video.

    @OttawaAlways:

    Ok but has Hayden Pike seen this yet? Does he know?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,243
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #92261491
  8. Shane: Mom.

    Shane: Are you aware that dad has unfettered internet access and is posting how to videos on YouTube calling himself Daddy David?

    Mom: Honey, it's fine. It's not that big of a deal.

    Shane: That might be the most insane thing you've ever said.

    Shane: And I have heard you threaten multiple coaches of mine with bodily harm.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,727
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #90599611
  9. [Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov sit in chairs in the Ottawa Centaurs locker room. Behind them several of their teammates, including Luca Haas, Troy Barrett, Zane Boodram, Wyatt Hayes, Evan Dykstra, Nick Chouinard, Tanner Dillon, and several rookies stand behind them. Shane sits with his arms crossed in the chair, looking slightly uncomfortable, while Ilya appears relaxed with his legs spread wide as he smiles at Shane. Harris Drover's voice can be heard behind the camera.]

    Harris: Alright, everyone, I'm going to ask you questions about who is more likely to do something between Shane and Ilya, and then you'll move behind the one you think the statement most matches, and if you think it equally applies, you can stand in the middle. Sound good?

    [There's a chorus of agreement, except for one loud, 'no' from Shane, and Zane playfully ruffles his hair causing Shane to blush, his scowl lightening slightly.]

    Harris: Great! Okay, here's the first question.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,491
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #91687116
  10. Shane Hollander has a secret life. No, not the one where he's hiding his trysts with his rival.

    He's a pseudonymous hockey romance author under the alias Jane Dutch.

    And the Metros WAGs have just picked up his first release for their book club...

    Extras start at chapter 26!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    98,000
    Chapters:
    28/28
    Files:
    4 versions
    AO3:
    #84865406
  11. Ilya being sick accidentally leads to a domino effect which causes Shane, and Hollanov, to come out a year earlier than canon, but on their own terms this time.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,654
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #90720991
  12. Four out of five dentists recommend not getting into a seven-year situationship. They also recommend brushing your teeth before making out with your MLH rival in a hotel room the summer before your rookie season.

    -

    The story of Heated Rivalry retold in little scenes. The unseen befores and the unseen afters.

    A 5 + 1 type fic. (Way more than) five times that Shane brushes his teeth alone. And the one time he doesn’t.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,392
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #90316261
  13. Now that Shane is officially a player on the Ottawa Centaurs, Ilya demands to be added to the WAG chat too.
    Chaos ensues.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,014
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #83190836
  14. Ilya Rozanov has a gift.

    He can speak to animals, which has earned him an incredibly successful career as a pet psychic, and far too much information about what people do when they think their pets aren’t watching.

    Shane Hollander has a problem.

    His cat, Pork, is permanently miserable. After exhausting every sensible option, Shane turns to the supernatural for assistance.

    After their first appointment, Pork grows visibly happier - his cat’s found a hobby and renewed sense of purpose for achieving his only goal: to destroy Ilya for good.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    41,419
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Files:
    2 versions
    AO3:
    #89337011
  15. Marly: Roz
    Marly: Roz
    Marly: Roz
    Marly: I think I’m bilingual 

    **

    J.J. and Marly hook up after a Boston and Montreal match, effectively discovering that they are both bisexual. Unfortunately, they could not figure this out themselves, and Ilya and Shane are woken up at the ass crack of dawn to help with their friends' inability to process their feelings.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,592
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #90010706
  16. Shane
    How about no one jokes about you all almost dying in a plane crash?

    Cap
    Boooooo

    Shane
    Don’t boo me from next to me in bed, loser

    Cap
    BOOOOOOOOOOO

    Another 4 months in the Centaurs team chat: Shane Hollander-Rozanov remix edition.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,564
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    2 versions
    AO3:
    #89881801
  17. [An image of Ilya Rozanov in his full Centaurs hockey gear sitting on the team bench. He's leaning forward on the boards, his arms creating a pillow for his head, as he smiles so widely, all of his teeth are shown and his eyes are closed.]

    @centaurshockey Don't forget, our Captain is taking over our socials this week! We have no idea what he's going to do, but there's a pretty good possibility things will get interesting, and we have our lawyers on standby ❤️
    ___

    Or Ilya asks the Centaurs if they would fight someone for him…but the someone is Harris Drover.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,644
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #89568751
  18. [Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander sit together in a sterile interrogation room. There’s a height chart on the wall behind them, and a harsh light hangs overhead. Next to them on the table is a polygraph machine.]

    Producer: Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander. 

    Shane: Yes.

    Ilya: Yes, those are our names. See how truthful I’m already being?

    Shane: You’re not even hooked up to anything yet. 

    Ilya: I’m just establishing how honest I am before we start. 

    Producer: Well, that’s good because you’re both here to take a lie detector test. The way this works is that one of you will be hooked up to the machine while the other asks questions, and then you’ll switch. Judd [the camera switches to show a man with glasses and stark white hair sitting at the polygraph machine] will be reading your results in real time. Shane, you’ll go first.

    Shane: Goody. 

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,801
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #88945636
  19. "Chlamydia?" Ilya has never heard Hollander's voice reach such heights in the absence of a cock. "You have chlamydia?"

    "I did not get it on purpose," Ilya complains.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,776
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #88443821
  20. Rozanov: Is this where I hand in my boyfriend application? I have prepared CV, introduction video, letters of recommendation and photo of me in bed with Stanley Cup. With or without clothes, your choice ;)

    Lundin: We were supposed to prepare something? I can do that, no problem! How long do we have?

    Baldwin: I think he is making fun of the whole thing, can we throw him out?

    Rozanov: Is no joke, I have fileshare link ready to send.

    Hunter: He is definitely joking.

    Baldwin: What are you doing here? Aren’t you getting married?

    Hunter: My fiancé insisted.

    Hunter: He said, and I quote: “I never thought about adding a third but it’s Shane fucking Hollander, we would be dumb if we didn’t try."

    ___________

    The world stops when Scott Hunter kisses his boyfriend Kip on the ice after he wins the Stanley Cup in 2017.

    The world tilts fully off its axis when Shane Hollander comes out after his third cup win in 2018.

    What follows are a bunch of (drunk) Instagram comments, a Rose Landry shaped intervention, a brutal battle between NHL superstars and one precious price on the line: A date with THE Shane Hollander.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,525
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #88905596
  1. 1
  2. 2
  3. 3
  4. …
  5. 6
  6. Next →