21 – 40 of 42 Works in Eating Disorders
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Heart on my sleeve (not where it should be) by Beibieface
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
2026-01-14
“But is there anything I say that you would like me to not tease about?” Ilya asked once again, as he put his arm back around Shane's shoulder and used his hand to tilt Shane's head up so he could make eye contact. “... No I don't think so.” Shane said, looking anywhere but into Ilya’s eyes. Ilya could feel all of Shane’s body tense up as he spoke. “All these years later and you are still bad liar.” Ilya said, combing his hand through his boyfriend's soft black hair. Or A comment from Hayden makes Ilya worried that he might have unintentionally hurt Shane by joking about the wrong thing.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,489
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #78096226
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Ilya is like his mother in the way that he plays with fireworks and skates on not quite frozen rivers. Shane often finds himself lost in translation. ~~~ An exploration of Ilya and Shane, their mental health, and their relationships
- Part 1 of mental health fics to exorcise my demons
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,869
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #77579841
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Ilya sees a lot of things about Shane that he never has to tell him. He can tell when Shane can’t deal with the casual touches. He never pushes him about his insane urges to get up at 5 AM to go for a run. Even in the off-season. And he especially avoids any and all direct talk about food. Or at least how weird Shane is about food. But it’s been getting worse. Sometimes, when the spiralling in his brain is impossible to break out of, Shane will stand in the kitchen, staring at his fridge, counting and calculating proportions and calories, and will feel like nothing he could possibly eat would be good for him. Like every single piece of food in his house, will come with a negative repercussion that will ruin his entire life. Because hockey is everything. And if Shane doesn’t have this body, then he can’t play hockey. And then what is he good for?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,853
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #77568461
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i'll find a new place to be from by Anonymous
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-01-10
“Lyubimyy, you are worrying me. I know facing Montreal is big deal…” Oh, yes. They have practice later, and a game on Saturday. He knows this. They have a game on Saturday. Against Montreal. Against. For the first time in his career, the Montreal Metros will be his opponents, and he has to win. or; shane handles the fact he has to play against his former team... not very well
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,555
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #77409026
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Shane thinks he's doing a good job at hiding the truth behind his performance diet.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,755
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #72263701
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No Further Questions by pause_to_read
Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
2026-01-08
Shane has spent his entire career rising above it. After one dirty hit, one slur, and one question too many, he stops. A press conference becomes a confession—and a line is finally drawn.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 27,045
- Chapters:
- 3/?
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76307726
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sweet potato casserole, halved by crackedskies (mirroredskies), mirroredskies
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-01-07
Shane had made so much progress in the past year and a half. Between therapy and playing for Ottawa, he was in a much better place mentally. And yet. Yet, today, he felt like his body wasn’t his own, like his bones weren’t fit together quite right, like his muscle and flesh and all the bits underneath were just wrong. “It’s the,” he started again, squeezing his eyes shut to block out the knowing look in Ilya’s. “It’s the idea of putting it on my plate, in my mouth. It’s not good… For me.” Shane and Ilya host Christmas dinner for the first time, and Shane struggles with the sweet potato casserole. Takes place following the events of The Long Game
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,652
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #77242386
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i couldn't satiate the hunger i contain by yeehaw_my_beebaw
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-01-06
"Everything was too much. Every number was too high. He didn’t necessarily want to change anything about his reflection. He had a healthy body, a good body--He was healthier than most of the population as a pro-athlete, and he took care of himself. But he did want to make sure his body stayed that way while he was resting. Limiting his intake made this possible, and he smiled a little when he saw the number on the scale go down, little by little every day, sickeningly proud of himself." -or- Shane Hollander is forced to rest. This has consequences.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,576
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #77182366
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Shane spirals after a disastrous interview.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,754
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76670186
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i think my ways are wearing me down by Literal_Multifandom_Trashcan
Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
2026-01-02
They had three chairs up at the countertop. If he sits in the second one, something bad will happen. Everyone will die. The house will explode. You can warn him. He has to sit in the first one or the third one. If not, everyone you love will die and it will all be your fault. Ilya moved to sit in the second chair. Shane bristled, hands trembling. “Don’t.” Shane snapped. Ilya froze, glancing at Shane with a concerned and confused expression. Shane inhaled, then exhaled. Guilt crawled up his throat. He was being fucking insane. Still though, what if he wasn’t being insane? What if there was a 0.1% something bad would happen to Ilya? or: shane hollander has a bad ocd day. luckily, he has people to help him through it
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,298
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76908206
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Gym scene, except Shane overexerts himself after coming 2nd in the draft and makes an attentive Ilya very worried… Ilya always wants to take care of Shane, even when Shane doesn’t know how much he needs it. What will a dinner between the two best hockey rookies do for their rivalry?
- Part 1 of all of me
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,413
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76700706
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Crestfallen by hollzyilyuska_hazz
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2025-12-29
“Although I wouldn't change it. I love cooking for him. And he loves eating it, yes Shane?" Shane didn't quite register the question. He was still somewhat stuck at the sentence about his diet. His eyes were clouded and unfocused, looking straight ahead in the direction of the camera but not on it, rather over it. "So who is the cook in your relationship?" "Usually me," Ilya chuckled, answering Harris's question. He looked at his husband, before looking back at the camera, "Shane is on this performative diet, so he can't eat normal food. He always drinks this disgusting shake in the morning. He swears, he likes it, but I can see his handsome face scrunching up every time, he drinks it, trying to fight the urge to throw up. It's also a pain in the ass, trying to find a recipe, he can have. Although I wouldn't change it. I love cooking for him. And he loves eating it, yes Shane?" Shane didn't quite register the question. He was still somewhat stuck at the sentence about his diet. His eyes were clouded and unfocused, looking straight ahead in the direction of the camera but not on it, rather over it. Ilya and him were doing a video with Harris, as some kind of promotion of their team. Apparently their fans were eager to hear more about their marriage, which didn't sit quite right with Shane and his privacy. Shane wasn't someone, who shared things about his personal life to just anyone. His instagram had a few posts only and they were all some kinds of ads, sponsorships and game related content. It was rare to see anything remotely personal on there, which was the exact opposite to his partner's account. Ilya's instagram was filled with random pictures. Anya, the cottage, things Shane liked, their wedding... he posted just about everything, he saw. If Shane showed even a little hint of interest in something as simple as a bird, Ilya would take a picture of it and post it. The man was the same with his tattoos too and his 'stupid wolf-bird' tattoo was a great example of this. That's why Shane was uncomfortable with this interview right from the beginning. And he thought, he was dealing with it well, until this question was asked. Who is the cook in your relationship? Shane did cook sometimes, but not very often compared to his husband. It was Ilya's hobby to cook, especially if he could do it with Yuna, Shane's mom. Ilya always had to prepare special meals for Shane, because he was on a diet. A performative diet. Ilya had to adapt, because Shane was being difficult. It came to a point, where Shane wasn't sure anymore, if the diet was actually good for him and helping him, or it was just the feeling of discipline and control, that the man enjoyed and cherished so much. It was something stable in his life. Ever since the secret about their relationship was out of the bag, nothing seemed to be constant in Shane's life. He switched teams, because his team wasn't accepting him anymore. The team he gave everything to. The team, he carried, to winning three Stanley cups. The team that celebrated every win with him. It changed, after Shane came out to them. Most of them were supportive, but Shane wasn't blind. He could see some of those faces looking at him with disgust. So different to their happy and excited expression. After his relationship was out, even the supportive teammates were angry at him. All except Hayden and J.J., because apparently, "we can acccept you being gay. What we cannot accept, is your relationship with ILYA ROZANOV. A person who is supposed to be your rival." Truth was, Ilya was never Shane's rival. The media made it up, because it was convenient for them. Shane used to wish, him and Ilya were rivals. He used to think, it'd make everything easier. They were seventeen, when the entire mess started. It was supposed to be a one time thing happening out of curiosity and the need to do something, that wasn't expected of them. However after a few years of occasional hook ups, Shane realized, he was in too deep. The curiosity changed into love and Shane found himself yearning for Ilya anytime, they were away from each other. It felt, like Ilya was the only person, who actually knew him. Listened to him. He had to thank his past self for actually admitting and acknowledging his feelings for once and inviting Ilya to the cottage. He wouldn't have his precious husband otherwise. Another thing that seemed to change all the time was people's perception and opinion on them, as if it mattered. But it did. At least to Shane... Before the secret was revealed, the only thing the media could talk about, was how well Shane played in his games. Now they talked about everything. Analyzing every single thing and shoving their nose everywhere. Shane Hollander was seen with Rose Landry, is he cheating on his husband? Shane Hollander wasn't at the present in the game against Montreal today, is he sick or just jealous? Shane was still not able to deal with this. At least not completely. Even before their relationship was exposed to the entire world, Shane already struggled with people's opinions on him and what could happen, if he came out publicly. He was terrified of being judged, as it was something, he was very familiar with in his childhood. Fear of messing up, fear of being different... fear of not being good enough. He literally had a panic attack, when his parents found out. Imagine, how he reacted, when the entire world knew. Before starting hockey, he wasn't very popular among others. He wasn't white. He wasn't neurotypical. He wasn't straight. It may've been the twenty first century, but that didn't mean, people were any kinder. People used to bully him a lot, when he was little. For missing social cues, not understanding stuff others did... a lot of things. "Do you agree with what Ilya said, Shane?" He was pulled out of his thoughts by Harris asking him, if his husband was right. He raised his head and was immediately hit with a bright light and the camera pointed right at his face. "Y-yeah sure, I do," he stammered through his sentence, managing a small, slightly awkward smile. He never really knew, how he should act in front of a camera, when he wasn't playing
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,258
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76673606
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emotional motion sickness by tabroc
Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
2025-12-28
Ilya knows Shane’s body better than anyone. He knows when something is wrong. But Ilya doesn’t know how to approach it. AKA A short fic featuring comfort of my favorite couple.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,410
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76586166
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Shane doesn't fall apart loudly. He spirals, shuts down, missteps. Ilya pays attention. He stays. He helps Shane learn what it feels like to be noticed without being corrected. or, 5 times Shane needs help regulating his autism, and Ilya is there for him + 1 time Shane is there for Ilya.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,155
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76562201
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As Shane is watching Ilyas posts he realises that Ilya could replace him anytime once he realises how boring and imperfect he is. After restless nights and overthinking Shane spirals and ends up having negative thoughts about himself which results in him having bad habits. Ilya notices that Shane is not being himself lately and tries to figure out what’s wrong since he can’t handle seeing his beautiful boyfriend suffer in silence
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,073
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76090546
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taste of control by beetlesandstars, kryptonian
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2025-12-11
“So,” Ilya starts, drumming his fingers on his knees. “You want tuna melt when we get home?” “What?” Shane says, distracted. “We just had dinner.” “Yes,” Ilya says. “But you had children’s portion.” Shane sends him an incredulous look. “I had two servings.” “Of baby food.” “Ilya.” “Shane.” Shane sighs. “Can we not do this? Please.” Unfortunately for Shane, they must do this. Or: Shane's restrictive eating versus Hayden Pike and Ilya Rozanov.
- Part 1 of cjo + hr
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,262
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 3 versions
- AO3:
- #75597311
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Ilya rubbed his thumb across Shane’s hand. “Thank you for sharing that with me. I know it was not easy.” Shane scoffed, “No shit.” Ilya flicked at him playfully. “Shut up. I am trying to be comforting.” Shane peeked at Ilya from under his arm just to glare at him. Shane was glad Ilya wasn’t being careful with him or anything–that would have just made him feel worse. Ilya was just being Ilya, and Shane needed that. Or, Shane Hollander has OCD. It's frustrating, scary, and difficult, but Ilya is there for him every step of the way.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,504
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #75484206
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The public knows about them, so why shouldn't Shane and Ilya go do their grocery shopping together?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,264
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #75311001
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Sometimes Shane forgets that this is real, that he’s married to this man he’s spent so long wanting, that he has the life he was sure was just a fantasy. He forgets he plays on the same team as Ilya, that his days off are Ilya’s days off, and that they can spend them together doing whatever they want. It hasn’t quite stuck yet, and Shane still feels his attachment to the Voyageurs like a phantom limb.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,946
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #74752471
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feel you vanish like sugar into tea. by Joooceee
Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
2025-11-02
“He looks so happy,” Jackie said, joining him at the railing. She rested her head against his shoulder, wrapped an arm around his waist. “It’s really nice to see.” “Yeah, it really is,” Hayden said. He sighed heavily. “Fuck. I’m gonna have to start liking Ilya Rozanov, aren’t I?” Jackie giggled, rubbing his back in a placating manner. “I’m afraid so, babe.” OR 5 times Hayden started understanding Shane and Ilya's relationship, and the 1 time he finally told Shane he did.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,951
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 3 versions
- AO3:
- #73536476
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