121 – 140 of 155 Works in Depression
- Depression ×
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hand to mouth (i'm getting by) by Pale_Blue
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-01-04
The box lay on the table between them and Ilya scowled at it. Antidepressants. He could practically hear his father scoffing from beyond the grave.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,584
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #77062251
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know it's for the better / no, it's for the better by selfishambition
Heated Rivalry (TV)
2026-01-03
Ilya Rozanov has been carrying his mother's ghost since he was twelve years old. Sochi is where the weight finally breaks him. Russia is eliminated in the most humiliating loss in their history, and their captain sits on a twelfth-floor balcony railing thinking about letting go. Shane Hollander has a gold medal game in fourteen hours. He comes anyway.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,371
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 2 versions
- AO3:
- #77026136
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The Weight of the Quiet by DamnSterek
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-01-02
WARNING: the Long Game spoilers WARNING: Depression and (passive) suicidal themes Ilya navigates grief, isolation, and the weight of holding himself together, until he learns to let himself be supported when he can’t hold everything together alone.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,878
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76900701
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“For our next session, I’d like you to list all the reasons why you’re so resistant to the idea of taking antidepressants.” Ilya sometimes resents that therapy is so much work. And that it has the audacity to actually help. Now to talk to Shane about the sex thing.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,451
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76943561
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Some Comfort by Impractical_Magic (sliebman10)
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-01-02
Ilya is feeling the effects of his depression one morning, and Shane helps him to feel better.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,399
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76962901
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Should he grieve Boston? Probably. Loyalty was important, thank you very much, Yuna Hollander — but perhaps that wasn’t what this situation was. Boston felt like a stopping point for Ilya. Neutral ground, his saving grace, fresh off the plane from Moscow, finally separated from his family by an ocean they couldn’t afford to cross, not without his help. He was grateful to the city, to the Raiders and their fans, truly, deeply, but he owed them nothing. He owed Shane Hollander everything and more. (Or, Ilya at the cottage, and his final year in Boston.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,961
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76823266
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Ilya Rozanov is not okay, and he’s been hiding it for too long. One night in May changes everything and Shane is forced to face the cost of loving someone who is hurting. Luckily Hayden and his mom help him along the way. Or Ilya Rozanov tries to kill himself
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,924
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76830531
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Ilya is going through a depressive episode alone on New Year's Eve. Shane, who knows him better than he thinks, realizes something is up.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,855
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76800991
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Shane loves his family. He truly does. But he’s never been one to enjoy large gatherings, even with people he knows well. And…he’s nervous. He’s nervous about all of them seeing this side of his life and side of himself that they’ve never really known, even though he knows they all love him and have shown him nothing but support. He takes a deep breath, watches more snowflakes fall, and releases it. It will be fine. It might even be nice. in which: it’s shane and ilya’s first christmas together as a married couple, and shane’s entire extended family comes to visit. nothing goes wrong…nothing at all.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,417
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76800101
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Looking back at it now, how he longed for his own bed, he thought maybe his mother wasn’t lazy at all, but maybe her own mind and heart were just simply too heavy for her to lift. He hoped that practice would help his mood lift, and his medication would kick in. He’d be back to being himself. The rink was cold when Shane and he entered, hand in hand, and the loud chatter of his team immediately made a headache bloom behind his eyes. Ilya is having a bad depression day, but at the end of it all Shane is right there to help him.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,437
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76686321
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He’s not alone—hardly ever is, in Boston. But maybe, just maybe, he’s lonely. It sneaks up on him in stupid moments: standing in line at the bank, catching a ride with Connors after practice, because he doesn’t have a car yet. Lying awake at night with the low hum of traffic outside and the wrong kind of silence pressing in around him. In his rookie year, Ilya makes an anonymous online friend. Unfortunately, it's a terrible idea.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,500
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 2 versions
- AO3:
- #76700036
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5 times Ilya has a nightmare, and 1 time he wakes up Shane (on purpose)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,574
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76591201
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Tomorrow, he'll call Shane and apologise. He'll fix what he broke. He doesn't want Shane to be angry at him anymore. He doesn’t remember swerving to avoid a merging truck. He also doesn’t remember hitting the tree. Or: Ilya gets into a car accident. Shane is there to pick up the pieces.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,446
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76647441
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the hardest part, is who we are by goldenish
Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
2025-12-29
“Ilya?” Shane’s hand crept into his hair gently, soft and searching. Ilya bit his lip, trying not to make a sound. It was almost impossible not to melt into the hair running soothingly through his curls, to turn his head to take in his Shane’s beautiful face in person after almost a month apart. Almost. Shane’s hand pulled away after a beat. Ilya heard him sigh, and then blessedly, his weight on the bed behind him rose up. He didn’t say anything as he left the room. Ilya had succeeded in pretending. He wished he could feel anything at all about it.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,731
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76634506
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Shane doesn't fall apart loudly. He spirals, shuts down, missteps. Ilya pays attention. He stays. He helps Shane learn what it feels like to be noticed without being corrected. or, 5 times Shane needs help regulating his autism, and Ilya is there for him + 1 time Shane is there for Ilya.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,155
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76562201
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of human bondage by blossominribcage
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2025-12-28
Ilya’s brother gives him a call to congratulate him on his wedding. He might need some reassurance from Shane after he’s unwise enough to take it.
- Part 6 of ilya and shane’s silly adventures
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,005
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76571321
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shed some light, shed some light on me please by smittenstar
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2025-12-28
Something's up with Ilya and he's doing his best to hide it. A concussion makes it all come crumbling down on him. AKA, the Ilya depression & insomnia fic, because the Long Game wasn't nearly angsty enough for me.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,374
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76316536
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During the 'easier' episodes Ilya can manage. Usually he can gather enough strength to get out of bed, even if it's just to slouch around the cottage or outside. He'll eat whatever Shane puts in front of him. He'll put on a brave face when Yuna and Dave come over to visit. And then when the evening rolls around he's so exhausted he falls asleep around eight. The 'heavy' episodes are harder. Ilya will spend most of the day sleeping. He will eat small bites of whatever Shane gives him, sometimes nothing at all. Showering is out of the question. If it's a particular bad episode, he won't even leave the bed. Shane is scared to leave Ilya alone during the 'heavy' episodes. He knows Ilya wouldn't hurt himself on purpose. But he also knows that depression is very complex and sneaks up on their victims when they're most vulnerable. Or, Ilya experiences a bad depression episode. Shane is there to catch him when he falls.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,671
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76613736
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Ilya had realized it the moment he’d opened his eyes a few days prior, too warm under the covers to be comfortable. Nothing had even happened yet, but he'd felt immediately distant from himself. Like somewhere between sleeping and waking, he’d stepped out of his body and into another.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,472
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76496446
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Sound of sirens, rush of pain (I almost thought I heard you call my name) by 17darwinism
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2025-12-26
"He imagined Shane would be similarly unforgiving if Ilya took his own life. Not that Ilya ever would. Unless he couldn’t help it." (The Long Game) or, Two years after being diagnosed with depression, Ilya wants to commit suicide.
- Part 1 of Please, God, I'm finally loved
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,846
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 2 versions
- AO3:
- #76443546