101 – 120 of 150 Works in Implied/Referenced Suicide
- Implied/Referenced Suicide ×
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“Be careful,” Shane frets, one hand hovering over Ilya’s shoulder. “It’s icy, and I don’t want to be a widower.” “Oh, we’d have to be much higher than this for the fall to kill me,” Ilya says, gaze still fixed on the cool black skyline. “At least seven stories.” It’s not until much later, as the waitress is clearing the dishes from dinner, that Yuna finds herself wondering why Ilya knows exactly how high a fall needs to be in order to kill him. Or: Yuna learns about Ilya's past bit by bit over the years.
- Part 2 of my anonymous heated rivalry fic
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,948
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 2 versions
- AO3:
- #78111111
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one of your eyes is always half-shut (something happened when you were a kid) by Anonymous
Heated Rivalry (TV)
2026-01-21
Shane Hollander is not a small fucking guy; he is all muscle, with big, calloused hockey-player hands and eyes nearly pretty enough to disguise the violence hidden in breadth of his shoulders.
Alexei is impressed.
Not a bad get, for someone fished out of a pool of hockey men who look like thumbs, their noses like squashed tomatoes and ears like boat sails. If it could not be beautiful, nosy bitch Svetlana, if it has to be a man, if it has to be a hockey player, then rich as God Shane Hollander isn’t the worst Ilyusha could have pulled.
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or Alexei is in deep shit. He can’t get to Ilya, so he tries the next best thing.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,886
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #78056966
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The Hands That Made You by Anonymous
Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
2026-01-20
Ilya has been watching hands his whole life. His father's hands taught him that touch meant pain. His mother's hands were the only gentle ones—until they went cold. Now he has his father's hands, and he's terrified of what they might become.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 17,367
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 2 versions
- AO3:
- #77997331
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Hanahaki disease is not supposed to happen to actual people, sitting on actual stairwells with sweat cooling on their skin, with an actual game in two days that has a sponsorship contract riding on it. It’s not supposed to happen off-screen, without violins and an audience.
And it definitely isn’t supposed to happen to the first Asian-Canadian MVP of the National Hockey League.
Shane curls his fingers slowly around the petal, like if he hides it, if he doesn’t look at it, it might stop being real.Or: the one where Shane is one of the lucky few humans in the world predisposed to Hanahaki disease. He copes with it as well as you might expect.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 34,384
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76276036
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“Um. Hi,” Shane starts, looking down at the boy. The boy just looks up at him, a puzzled expression on his face. “кто ты?” The boy says in some funny language Shane has never heard of. “Um.. I only speak English.” The boy's eyebrows furrow, but he doesn’t seem all too deterred by the language barrier. Instead, he hands Shane a piece of pink chalk. He points to the drawing he’s been working on, saying something in that funny language again Or: Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov meet when they are six. They aren’t rivals, but they still fall in love. Some small moments in that process.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,849
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #77869951
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the days can be so lonely by aioio
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-01-18
When Hayden Pike’s mother is diagnosed with dementia, the last person he expects to understand is Ilya Rozanov. Grief has a way of finding common ground.
- Part 1 of hard conversations
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,375
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 3 versions
- AO3:
- #77883326
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It's their second game since Tampa, and there's a new ease to this thing between Shane and Ilya. They're playing so hard, and it's going so well. That is, until Cliff Marlow lines up a slap shot and hits more than just net... [New bonus chapter added!]
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 12,118
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #77762666
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“You miss your mommy, Rozanov?” “Not as much as I miss yours.” - Starting when he's 13, a series of looks into Ilya's relationship with his parents. Also featuring an answer to the famous question 'What did Ilya and David talk about while Shane was talking to Yuna?'
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,145
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 2 versions
- AO3:
- #77868251
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what do you say to a brand-new ghost? by Sapphic_terror
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-01-16
Ilya did not want to die. It’s a natural thought as the plane seems to fall around him. He’s twenty-nine, he does not want to die. It’s the intensity that surprises him, the desperate need clawing at his heart, pressing against his ribs, surging in his throat. He’s choking on it, aching with it, burning with it. The plane is falling around him, and he wants to live so badly it’s all he can see. - Or, The Plane Crash nearly goes as wrong as possible when Shane's game is cancelled, and he sees Ilya's messages in real time. To make matters worse, Ilya spends fifteen minutes falling out of the sky and mourning all that he would never have. Or, Ilya's pov of i pray this love changes me (this grief will) ft. the very confused but supportive Centaurs
- Part 3 of found family *hockey edition
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,759
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 2 versions
- AO3:
- #77746396
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The Hollander Inn by FreeformHardcore
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-01-15
Now that he could finally recognize who the man in front of him was, everything flooded back into the forefront of his mind. The nights he spent in Moscow poring over hockey content on YouTube, how watching the teen that was poised to be his rival stirred up newfound ambition to become the greatest instead. He remembered that career-ending hit as well, the way Shane’s body crumpled on the ice, tiny and unconscious, body contorted unnaturally as his teammates crowded around him. He remembered the disappointment he felt at not having anyone else to best, to directly compare himself against. Time had passed, and so too did that disappointment in favor of achieving the greatness that Hollander promised. And with that time, Shane Hollander was just another name of the past. But now he was right in front of him, freckles all in the same spots and gear replaced with ugly knit sweaters. Or In which Shane Hollander never became the hockey legend he was supposed to. Ilya Rozanov did. Somehow, in the midst of a blizzard, their stories intertwined once more.
- Part 1 of Hollanov AUs
- Part 1 of The Hollander Inn
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 29,327
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #75617991
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Ilya had never denied himself anything. He liked to feel good, and usually wanting felt good.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,178
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #77738541
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i'll find a way to scare you too by laszlokreizlers
Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
2026-01-14
“How are you not fucking terrified?” His whisper almost sounds angry. “You almost died in a plane crash, and you aren’t freaked out at all. It’s the fucking—the anniversary of it, and you want to get on a plane?” Ilya’s blocked most of that day out, shoved that moment of terror and grief into a little box in a dark corner. He didn’t know it was today. And now he does, and the box unlocks.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,274
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #77191716
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Early in the morning, Shane discovers a part of Ilya he never wanted to imagine. They work through it together <3
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,264
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #77689951
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Ilya is like his mother in the way that he plays with fireworks and skates on not quite frozen rivers. Shane often finds himself lost in translation. ~~~ An exploration of Ilya and Shane, their mental health, and their relationships
- Part 1 of mental health fics to exorcise my demons
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,869
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #77579841
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I Do Not Have Wings (Love, I Never Will) by Sea_Sea9000
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-01-12
Ilya told Shane's family that he talked to Scott Hunter. He didn't tell them when. Scott and Ilya and the times they met up on rooftops over the years.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,167
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #77528151
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Ilya knew sadness could kill, and it could do it quietly like it took his mother. So he stayed charming, desirable, and useful. He never asked for reassurance, didn’t get needy. He would never admit he needed Shane. Right?
- Part 3 of Amiera's Hollanov
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,586
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #77567096
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in this life and the next by lisa6
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-01-11
“Why do you think it’s the same person every time?” Ilya asked, smiling. His phone disappeared back in his jeans pocket. “I’m hot. Lots of women want me to fuck them.” Svetlana leaned in close to his ear. “And men?” Or: ever since they were children, Svetlana Vetrova has always been there for Ilya Rozanov, her best friend in the world.
- Part 2 of
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,178
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 2 versions
- AO3:
- #77462976
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Toska (frozen tears) by Birds On a Concrete Wall (AmetistLex)
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-01-11
New Year holidays and wishes haven't been the same since he became twelve, but Ilya wanted to try and recreate that faint feeling he craved with Shane this year. He freed his schedule, bought decorations for the cottage and planned the activities for their short holiday, even fresh snow just fell from the sky — but today things turned out the way they did. Ilya could tell Shane felt guilty, so he reassured him it was okay to go and manage his career. It was. It still is. Ilya is the one who is not okay. * He shouldn't be feeling this way, but somehow, Ilya feels more fragile than a colorful bauble on a tree.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,213
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #77505926
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Solnyshko by shoulderbone (lavenderforluck)
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-01-11
They linger in the last dregs of light reflecting off the lake. Shane takes Ilya’s hands, placing them over his own cheeks, and quietly asks Ilya to take him apart. Or: seventy-two hours at the cottage that summer.
- Part 1 of Seventy-Two Hours
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,298
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #77511616
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When his parents asked him what was wrong, he simply replied that he was tired, because how could he tell the men who gave him life that he didn't want it anymore? In other words, Ilya's worst nightmare is coming true. Sometimes he wished that depression wasn't hereditary.
- Part 6 of Little Ice Flower
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,266
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #77441136