61 – 80 of 120 Works in Fluff and Crack

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  1. Hayden is a good friend, and he’s going to be a great best man. So why is writing a best man speech so hard?

    Or, Hayden Pike’s quest for the perfect best man speech, told in six drafts.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,261
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #81253171
  2. Set after Shane comes out to his team. Now that more and more people find out he is gay, he is also getting a lot more male attention.
    Meanwhile Ilya gets progressively more jealous and wants to remind everyone exactly who Shane Hollander belongs to.
    Also they're idiots in love

    or

    5 times Shane had to reject a guy giving him attention
    +1 time everyone found out why

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,325
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #80986741
  3. "Sorry I ruined your date,” he said. His tone once again did not sound sorry at all. Shane huffed out a short laugh before he could stop himself. “No, you’re not.” The man’s smile shifted at that, turning a little more genuine for a moment before the smirk returned. This time it looked less mocking and more teasing, the corner of his mouth curling upward as his eyes flicked over Shane’s face. “No, I’m not,” he admitted easily. “I could not watch someone so beautiful suffer through such terrible date. I had to rescue you.” — After months of bugging, Shane finally gave in and let Jackie set him up on a blind date. He’s very quickly reminded why he always says no. It’s going to take him a while to trust Jackie again after this. Fortunately, or maybe unfortunately, Shane and his date happen to be sitting close to a certain blond Russian who can’t stand to see such a pretty boy suffer through such a terrible date.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,842
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #80892086
  4. Screenshots from the Metros Group Chat mocking Shane and Ilya are leaked. Twitter has a field day. Especially when Shane and Ilya wade in.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,209
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #80863191
  5. "Were you actually roofied one time?" Shane asks. "Because that's a shitty fucking joke if not, and if you were-" He huffs again, but it is a different huff, one not cute enough to make the Top 10 list because it is venturing unpleasantly close to the territory of Shane being actually annoyed, and Ilya doesn't like that nearly as much. Or at all, really. "Is this for real?" 

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,411
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #80528356
  6. Ilya has a terrible idea for a Tiktok.

    So of course, he has to do it!

    AKA Ilya "Professional Ragebaiter" Rozanov has some fun fucking with his husband while the internet watches.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,316
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #80412786
  7. Shane and Ilya aren't exactly the most internet savvy. When you're hiding a secret relationship for over a decade, you clearly avoid social media. Even when that means you tend to be a bit behind, especially compared to your young rookies.

    or

    Snippets of text exchanges between Hollanov, their team, and their rookies.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,590
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #80336861
  8. Shane loves his husband. He really does! But sometimes, it can be hard to put that love into words.

    So maybe, when he tried to put it into words, he ended up writing a couple songs.

    And maybe he released them under a fake name.

    And maybe they got insanely popular somehow.

    -

    AKA the one where Shane and Ilya are married and in love and Shane is a little insecure about his ability to love his husband. So he becomes a faceless pop sensation. By accident. Mostly? It's complicated.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,678
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #79317361
  9. June 2014, Mandalay Bay Hotel and Casino, Las Vegas, Nevada, Voicemail Recovery System. The day after the MLH MVP award ceremony. *beep* Voicemail: Hello, this is Shane Hollander? I’m so sorry to bother you, um - I hope this is the right voicemail for the lost and found. I was at the hotel this weekend, and I think I left a set of cufflinks somewhere in my room? They have my first and last initial engraved on each and they’re gold. It’s room number - actually, wait. Um, you know what. Never mind. Canyoupleasedeletethismessage.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,181
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #80246316
  10. lily@shanehollanderstop hi my name is hayden pike and i have been stealing all the condoms in the olympic village and selling them for double the original price so i can make up for the money i don’t get in my slop salary with my bum team @TheMontrealVoyageurs 💬 1.5K 🔄 47.7K ❤ 763.2K or Competing in the Olympic games doesn't stop Ilya from terrorizing stan Twitter

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,526
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #80255801
  11. Svetlana gets Ilya a cat hybrid "as a present."

    Ilya just wants to know why his kitty speaks bird, constantly "has the zoomies", and is anxious about literally everything.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,960
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #79982486
  12. Ilya takes out his phone and swipes to Jane and types quickly, eyes on Hunter: I am trapped in elevator. With Scott Hunter. I am coming soon as I can. While Ilya is typing, Hunter has been staring at his phone as his eyebrows slowly move closer and closer together. Ilya is tempted to make a joke about Hunter getting wrinkles. “Does your phone work?” Hunter says, looking up from his own phone. For a brief, panicked moment, Ilya is worried, but then, the three dots of Shane typing, and then Shane has responded: Are you joking?? Ilya types back quickly: No. Elevator stopped. They say 20 minutes. Shane responds immediately: Please don’t kill Scott Hunter -- Ilya Rozanov and Scott Hunter get stuck in an elevator during the Tampa Bay All-Stars.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,646
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    2 versions
    AO3:
    #79829631
  13. 'Jane' gets added to the Centaurs WAG groupchat, after Wyatt notices Roz wearing a ring...

     

    pov Wyatt

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,818
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #79372021
  14. Misplaced Protection by

    Heated Rivalry (TV)
    • T
    • ✓

    2026-02-13

    “I’ve been conducting surveillance,” Hayden said, steamrolling ahead. “Based on all available evidence, I’m ninety percent sure Lily is either a Bratva princess or some kind of supernatural hybrid who is manipulating Shane emotionally and financially.”

    Jackie looked back at the building. All the lights were off.

    “And as his friends,” Hayden continued, “we have a duty to protect Shane from her clutches.”

    Convinced Shane’s mysterious girlfriend “Lily” is everything from a vampire to a cult leader, Hayden embarks on a spiral of wildly incorrect theories.

    He is just trying to protect his best friend. Unfortunately, Lily is actually Ilya Rozanov.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,197
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #78695871
  15. “Wow, this is absolutely stunning.” “I bet you say that to all the houses.” Ilya teased, shifting past him and moving back to his target: coffee. Stevie’s laugh was bright, “Sometimes, yes. But that is also one of the perks of the job. Getting to see so many beautiful houses. You had this designed, yes?” Ilya pushed the button for a flat white before he turned. “Yes. With my partner. He is much more into the whole real estate thing than I.” At those words, as if summoned, Shane appeared at the top of the stairs, a vibrating Anya at his side. Or Ilya gets invited to film a Youtube Video for Architectural Digest for his house in Ottawa and he decides not to hide the fact that someone else also lives here in the off season. He could have warned the camera team beforehand, but that would have taken all the fun out of the reveal.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,123
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    2 versions
    AO3:
    #79427646
  16. feelingshanetastic not hollander yelling at rozanov LMFAO someone get roz out of there IlyaRozanov81 ✅ do not get me out of anywhere, i like it here. feelingshanetastic HELLO?? thathollanovfan Why is no one talking about how comfortable Ilya’s thighs look OMG, @ShaneHollanderHockeyPlayer wanna share? ShaneHollanderHockeyPlayer ✅ No.

    Language:
    English
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    8,094
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #79100051
  17. Shane agrees to participate in a reel (thanks Harris!), so naturally, Ilya’s right there with him. The internet has a lot to say about this viral interview.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,124
    Chapters:
    1/2
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #77998831
  18. He sends Shane a link for an article about the Puppy Bowl. Ilya [19:34] Shane Hollander. Did you know this exists? Shane [19:46] No? Why would I have heard of this? Ilya [19:46] God, you are such a disappointment Ilya [19:47] I love you. Ilya [19:47] Whatever plans you have Sunday, they are cancelled. Shane [19:53] I’m so confused. Shane [19:53] I love you, too. Ilya [19:55] 😘😘😘🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐕🦮🐩🐕 �🐕 🐾🦴🐶 ___ Or, Ilya learns about the Puppy Bowl. Shane never stands a chance. A dog gets adopted, and everything changes.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,115
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    2 versions
    AO3:
    #78871106
  19. A Cat Out of the Bag by

    Heated Rivalry (TV)
    • T
    • ✓

    2026-02-03

    “Shane?” Hayden’s voice filtered through the door. “You alive in there?”

    Shane grabbed Ilya by the wrist. “We have to hide you.”

    Ilya laughed. “Hide me? Where?”

    Shane’s eyes darted around his apartment. That left… the closet.

    “No,” Ilya said, reading Shane’s desperate gaze. “I am athlete. Have standards.”

    Ilya’s protest was cut off as he stumbled backward into a dark jungle of coats and boots. Shane shut the door.

    In which Hayden shows up early to talk game strategy, Shane lies about owning a cat, and Ilya refuses to commit to the bit.

    Things only go downhill from there.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,879
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #78816656
  20. Lily: Well. There is very interesting studies I have read recently.

    Karolina: We’re listening!

    Lily: Research shows that abstinence can significantly improve athletic performance. Testosterone levels, energy conservation, mental focus. All better with sexual abstinence.

    Jackie: Wait, seriously?

    Lily: Oh yes, very serious research. Professional athletes should abstain completely during playoff runs. Some studies suggest 6-8 weeks for optimal results.

    Satu: SIX TO EIGHT WEEKS?!

    When “Lily” gets added to the Montreal Voyageurs WAGs group chat, she comes armed with peer-reviewed research, vibrators for everyone, and one revolutionary idea: a playoff sex ban for optimal athletic performance. The WAGs are convinced it’s evidence-backed science, the team is suffering, and Ilya is having the time of his life watching his handiwork unfold.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,739
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Files:
    2 versions
    AO3:
    #77840931
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