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  1. [The Ottawa Centaurs are scattered around their locker room after practice in various states of undress. The camera walks up to Coach Brandon Wiebe, a hand extending with a cup that holds multiple pieces of paper. Wiebe smiles at the camera and reaches in to pull out a slip, he looks at it, and then reads.]

    Wiebe: Shake the hand of the player that is the baby of the team.

    [Wiebe's smiles grows, his eyes traveling across the room as he begins to walk toward Luca Haas. He holds out his hand and Luca's already flushed face grows even more read as he reluctantly shakes his coach's hand back.]

    Luca: Seriously, Coach? Not you, too. I'm almost twenty two for fuck's sake.

    [Next to Luca, Zane Boodram grins and pats Luca on the back and Ilya Rozanov calls from nearby.]

    Ilya: You are not old enough to say fuck until you can explain what it means!

    Wiebe: You might be the baby of the family, but that doesn't mean you're not great at what you do. You score lots of goals and you remind Ilya that he's supposed to act like an adult at least occasionally.

    Shane: Trust me, that's a very important job.

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    AO3:
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  2. Penelope (Dill)
    Omg get on with it, Cass!

    Cassie (Bood)
    Thank you
    Now, we must behave ourselves, ladies
    We have royalty in our midst

    Arden (Pointy)
    What the hell are you on about, Cassie?

    Cassie (Bood) has added Jane (Rozy) to the conversation

    Jane (Rozy)
    Uhh
    What is this?
    ______________
    or; "Jane" gets added to the Ottawa WAGs chat after Ilya drunkenly tells his teammates about "her"
    or or; Shane Hollander in his WAG era

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    AO3:
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  3. Tanner Dillon was a sub-par winger for a cup-winning team. Ilya would never admit it, but Shane needed a Pike if they wanted their first season together to be historic. The only problem was that there seemed to be no problem.

    Because how the hell did Shane make Tanner Dillon into a good liney?

    Ilya Rozanov spirals slightly as he finally gets to see Captain Shane Hollander in action. Don't worry they are cute and flirty about it.

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  4. Ilya shows up wearing Shane Hollander's hoodie to breakfast; the team assumes he had a one night stand with him.

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  5. Now that Shane is officially a player on the Ottawa Centaurs, Ilya demands to be added to the WAG chat too.
    Chaos ensues.

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  6. [A 2020 photo of Shane Hollander lifting the Stanley Cup above his head.]

    @NHLInsider Shane Hollander is officially an Unrestricted Free Agent. Rumors are swirling about a possible departure after his romantic relationship with Ottawa captain Ilya Rozanov was revealed less than two months ago. Will he stay in Montreal or head for icier pastures? Click on the link in our bio for all the insider analysis of where he might end up next.

    Posted July 1 at 10:51 AM

    ***
    @hatrickzzz Hoping he finally goes to a place that appreciates him!

    @love2puck he’ll be lucky if anyone wants to touch him after all this mess. what a distraction.

    @hockeywhore @love2puck the only distraction is how terribly he’s been treated by his team and the league. Wouldn’t blame him one bit if he walked away from the game altogether.

    @zambonisrevenge There’s no way he’s going to Ottawa…right?

    @blackandred As much as I want him here, there’s no fucking way.

    @ilyarozanoff Whatever team he winds up at, I’m sure the announcement video will be EPIC.

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  7. Harris: Hi, Shane!
    Harris: This is Harris Drover.
    Harris: I got your number from Ilya.
    Harris: Sorry to bother you, but I had a question.
    Harris: I know you’re coming in to sign contracts tomorrow, and I had an idea for a social media thing to announce your signing, if you’d be up for it?

    Shane: Oh, yeah, okay.
    Shane: I’ll be there, so we can do whatever.
    Shane: Always happy to help the team with a little internet humiliation that’ll be around for decades.

    Harris: Perfect!
    Harris: I promise, I think you’ll really like this, though.
    Harris: No humiliation involved.
    Harris: The only caveat is, you can’t tell Ilya.

    Shane: Okay?
    Shane: Why?

    Harris: Well.
    Harris: Here’s what I’m thinking.

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    AO3:
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  8. Shane Hollander ✅ @shanehollanderofficial 
    I’ve seen many publications over the years speculating on my own, and my husband’s, hockey stats and accolades in relation to our romantic relationship and when the public assumes it started. 

    We don’t owe this to anyone. But we’ve also been playing professional hockey for seventeen years and we’ve both run out of ahem, cares to give.

    On the right is a photograph from the behind the scenes of our joint CCM advertisement in July of 2010. This photo predates the hundreds of combined accomplishments listed on the left. 

    Oh, and it was also taken about six hours before our first kiss. 

    -----

    or; a year from retirement and out of fucks to give, shane reveals their timeline to twitter in response to the latest speculatory article on their relationship. hollanovs across the world rejoice, centaurs celebrate their beloved dads, and former teammates share the not-so-subtle clues they missed the first time.

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    AO3:
    #86984836
  9. Shane and Ilya are finally on the same team! The Centaurs’ communications and PR department hasn’t known peace since. Featuring: the unhinged internet, chaotic group chats, Ilya being a menace, Shane being very tired, Harris trying (and failing) to contain the chaos, Luca accidentally starring in his own little rom-com, wholesome group dynamics and love all around.

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    AO3:
    #72374346
  10. “Today,” he says loudly. “Today, I will tell you about the time Shane got jealous because Tro–”

    “NO, Ilya,” Shane interrupts him, and Ilya greatly enjoys watching Troy’s head snap towards Shane, who glows like a freshly picked tomato. 

    And that’s fine, really. Being Shane Hollander’s husband means he has so much material to work with. 

    “Okay, well, what about the time you bought us a sex building?” he asks, and barely gets the sentence out before Zane Boodram makes a loud exclamation. 

    “A what now?” he asks, as the eyes of everyone on the plane flit back and forth from Shane to Ilya. 

    “Definitely not,” Shane snaps, and Ilya grins.

    “What about the time you panicked so much you got into a relationship with Rose Landry because I said your first name?”

    There’s an audible intake of breath, and Ilya watches as a number of emotions cross Shane’s face before it finally settles into something that looks resigned. 

    “Fine,” Shane says with a roll of his eyes, and the team cheers as Ilya’s smile grows so wide he knows his cheeks will start to hurt soon.

    Ilya claps his hands in front of him. “It all started with tuna melts.”

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    AO3:
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  11. Jane joins the Centaurs WAG Group Chat...

    What could go wrong??

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  12. coach’s daughter by

    Heated Rivalry (TV)
    • M
    • ?
    • ✓

    2026-04-24

    When Coach Brandon Wiebe gets the call that his mother is sick, and he immediately has to fly to Louisiana to see her, he realizes that someone needs to take care of his 16 year old daughter Clara for the week. Shane and Ilya immediately agree to help, wanting to be there for Coach. But they quickly discover Clara is more than just the coach’s daughter, she’s a hockey genius herself.

    *COMPLETED*

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    AO3:
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  13. “Hey, Hollander, it’s your turn to tell the story,” Wyatt Hayes interrupts from the row behind them. 

    “The what?” Shane questions, looking to Ilya, who only manages to give him a sort of sympathetic look. “Is this some kind of hazing thing you didn’t tell me about?”

    Troy Barrett’s head pops up from the row in front of him. “It’s something we do every flight. Harris told the story about his sister and a skunk on that first flight after the incident in Tampa, and it kinda became a thing. Helps to calm everyone’s nerves.”

    “Oh,” Shane says, feeling nervous and kind of annoyed already. “Just like…any story?”

    “Usually it’s something funny. Pretty simple stuff,” Nick Chouinard tells him. “But you’ve got to stand in the aisle and project so we can all hear you.” 

    “Oh, but I don’t have that loud of a voice,” he tries to say, but it doesn’t seem like anyone is listening, an excited rumble moving through the team. 

    Fucking great.

    “So, the first time Ilya met my parents was so bad.”

    “How bad was it?” Hayes deadpans, and everyone laughs again.

    Shane swallows. "I'm so glad you asked."

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  14. Bood: And what would this person need to get Roz to settle down?
    Roz: must be most beautiful person you have ever seen
    Roz: very funny but does not know they are funny
    Roz: and suck dick like their life depends on it

    Or: The Centaurs know that Roz is sad, and probably a little lonely. So they do their best to set him up with someone who matches his specific list of requirements. What they don't know is that their captain has already found that person.

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  15. But he refused—absolutely refused—to sleep on the airport floor. Across from him, however, Ilya had surrendered to that reality much faster. or Shane will not sleep on the dirty airport floor...unless his husband asks nicely cause he's sad Read pt. 2 HERE

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  16. Julia Prior ☑️ @JuliaPriorESPN
    I sat down with Ilya Rozanov to talk about what he loves about Boston, what it’s like to play the best hockey of his career, and what comes next. bit.ly/203948

    tanHER dillon @kanatacommunist
    i s2g i just saw r*zanov at the ottawa airport…. theres no way right

    ↳ vic hates hockey @censeless
    tired: hollanov real
    wired: ir81 to the centaurs real


    or: ilya's last season in boston through the eyes of hockey twitter.

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    AO3:
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  17. 'Jane' gets added to the Centaurs WAG groupchat, after Wyatt notices Roz wearing a ring...

     

    pov Wyatt

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  18. It happens against Montreal, because of course it does. Shane Hollander has accumulated hundreds of penalty minutes across his career, same as every other hockey player, but none have ever been from fighting. That is until a bad hit by his former teammates leaves his husband laid out on the ice and a comment that crosses the line has Shane dropping his gloves for the first (and hopefully last) time.

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    AO3:
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  19. "You are doing this on purpose," Ilya accused. Shane looked up, perfectly innocent. "Doing what on purpose?" "The—" Ilya gestured. "This. The—the organizing." "The organizing that I do. Every Thursday. Like I have for the entire time we've been together." "You know what you're doing." Shane's lips twitched. Just barely. But Ilya saw it. "I'm folding a hoodie." BREAKING: Local man gets pavlov'd by the KonMari method, more at 11.

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    AO3:
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  20. The Ottawa Centaurs have a group chat. Ilya loves it. Shane tolerates it. And there is never a dull moment.

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    Chapters:
    1/?
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    AO3:
    #78177961
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