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  1. Rozanov hello this is ilya rozanov Rozanov can you please stop with this Rozanov i am not homophobic Rozanov hollander is not homophobic Rozanov you are making my life very hard🙄🙄 Vaughny maybe u should stop being a homophobic asshole Scott Well, I’m glad to hear you’re not homophobic but I’d love to see some actual proof of that first. Rozanov i hate you both Rozanov one moment Rozanov i wanted to send picture of me fucking my boyfriend as proof Rozanov but he said no😣😣😣😣 (after a misunderstanding, ilya is cancelled for being homophobic to scott hunter. when shane and ilya announce their friendship, shane is also cancelled for the association with a 'homophobe')

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,167
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    2 versions
    AO3:
    #83597806
  2. HELP

    FUCK SOMEONE ANYONE PLEASE
    ADVICE I BEG OF YOU

    Connors: JESUS CHRIST MAN I'M HERE IM HERE

    Connors: IS ROZY DEAD WTF

    Connors: PLEASE TELL ME HE'S NOT DEAD

    no. im in the closet

    CarMinion: my dude. i love that for you

    CarMinion: and i support you, totally, but

    CarMinion: does your girlfriend know about this

    not like that

    literally

    i am in a janitorial closet in the hotel bar in tampa bay

    Hammersmith: im almost afraid to ask why

    bc they're together

    hollanov

    and they're like, talking

    at the bar

    roz is wearign the ugliest shirt ever

    its bright red hawaiian print

    and hollander clearly has no standards, bc he's eyefucking him anyways

    in which: the boston bears do their best at Operation: Hollanov in tampa bay, janitorial closets are involved, and there is a guest appearance.

    Language:
    English
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    2,953
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #83619056
  3. Unknown Number Its been 24 hours you can stop now Rose Who’s this ?? Stop what ?? Unknown Number Holding him hostage ~ Rose receives a text message from an unknown number claiming to be Shane's ex. In Ilya's defense, impulse control was never one of his strong suits.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,901
    Chapters:
    9/10
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #79927181
  4. Ali @shanehollanderfanpage24
    Troy Barrett stalker confirmed. Dallas Kent call the police lmao #Kerrett

    Or: people on hockey Twitter start shipping Troy Barrett and Dallas Kent.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,645
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #83487751
  5. One in a Lillion by

    Heated Rivalry (TV)
    • G
    • ✓

    2026-04-20

    The internet gets confirmation: Shane Hollander has a girlfriend. Called Lily.

    Ever considered how many Lilys there are in North America? Or how many people with parasocial delusions?

    Twitter is flooded with #findLily pretenders.


    @insomniac_bookworm42 | Did you learn Photoshop at one of those free “Computers for Senior Citizens” classes at the library?

    @insomniac_bookworm42 | If not, you should ask for a refund

    @preoccupied_educator | this is insulting to those of us who make weird self-insert clout chasing parasocial photoshopped pictures of ourselves with celebrities for a living

    Language:
    English
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    3,314
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #83466981
  6. Bood: And what would this person need to get Roz to settle down?
    Roz: must be most beautiful person you have ever seen
    Roz: very funny but does not know they are funny
    Roz: and suck dick like their life depends on it

    Or: The Centaurs know that Roz is sad, and probably a little lonely. So they do their best to set him up with someone who matches his specific list of requirements. What they don't know is that their captain has already found that person.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,782
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #83065366
  7. In which the Raiders try to convince (okay, bribe) Shane Hollander to wife Ilya Rozanov the fuck up.

    The Raiders learn about Hollanov in a different way. Shane is very confused. Ilya loves his team. I regret nothing.

    (This takes place a few months before the great tuna melt fiasco.)

    Some sex talk but mostly a lot of swearing. Also not related to my other fics really but some of the character portrayals, especially the Boston Raiders being all good guys, is in my other work too.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,110
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    2 versions
    AO3:
    #83297881
  8. Kevin: Just shouted FUCK ROZANOV at my tv screen and Grandma Hollander didn’t even hit me, that’s how you KNOW it’s bad

    Anthony: Fuck Rozanov, you should’ve been #1 Shane. What a load of horseshit

    Ben: Fuck Rozanov!!!!!!!

    --

    the Hollander cousins group chat throughout the years

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    761
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #83261186
  9. “It was nice of Rozanov to come check on you."

    Shane understands that Rozanov must be a person, though when he scans through his memories—the ones of being sixteenish and the ones he’s made in this hospital room—he can’t conjure up any details.

    “Who?” He asks, staring up at her.

    “Oh, I should’ve realized. He’s the captain of the other team. You two are pretty serious rivals,” she chuckles. “He just came by to see how you were, and apologize I suppose.”

    “Apol’gize? Did he hit me?”

    “No, no. But, captain to captain, you know….”

    After the nice, pretty nurse leaves, Shane is alone for a moment. He finds himself looking at the doorway, imagining a shadow there, a Rozanov. He has a professional rival? Maybe he’s like that Russian kid everyone says is going to give Shane a run for his money.

    “Rozzzzanov,” Shane says to himself, his hand coming up to rub his chest. Distantly, there’s a beeping that’s getting faster.

    --

    When Shane is hit during the game, his injury is a lot worse, leading to ten years worth of memory loss. His parents and friends try to help him remember who he is, but something (or someone) is missing…

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,680
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    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #83018941
  10. While trying to write to his friend studying abroad in Moscow, Shane Hollander accidentally reaches Ilya Rozanov.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    24,315
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Files:
    2 versions
    AO3:
    #82088401
  11. When the Peloton ad that Shane does drops online, Ilya has a lot of feelings about it— and maybe too many words for the fans online

    Language:
    English
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    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #83242596
  12. JJ ok why don't you tell me what your type is since the last four men were no good Mon Capitane🫡 I'm just not interested in dating right now! JJ right but no one said you had to date these guys. just some fun with them😏😏 — Cens groupchat Roz i need someone to take out Boiziau in next game no questions asked (jj tries to matchmake for shane after finding out he’s gay. things unfold. ilya crashes out. jj finds out a little more)

    Language:
    English
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    2,131
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    2 versions
    AO3:
    #83225576
  13. freezer breezer
    WAIT
    IF MONTREAL JANE IS SHANE HOLLANDER

    king los
    pls don't have whatever revelation you're gonna have and inflict on all of us

    freezer breezer
    THE TEXTS !!!!

    OR: There are just over three weeks in between their beloved captain getting outed and the day the Boston rookies can finally meet their new stepmom. A lot can happen in three weeks.

    Language:
    English
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    7,961
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    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #83088911
  14. It's All Star weekend, and Gerty, Philly's mascot, just wants a Snickers.
    or
    Ilya fights a mascot.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,929
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    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #83198021
  15. Roz you are all trying to make my phone explode? Roz what is problem Roz is someone dying Roz someone better be dying Shane What’s happening? Is everyone okay? Hazy @Shane Do you have a tattoo? Shane DO I HAVE A WHAT? (the cens win the cup and go celebrating after. cue drunk shenanigans and hungover texting)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,662
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    2 versions
    AO3:
    #83107811
  16. JANE: So, I am currently on FaceTime with Ilya

    NICOLE: Are your clothes on?

    LISA: Nikki asking the important questions

    JANE: It's not important to what I am trying to tell you

    CASSIE: So they're not on, got it

    Or, the in-between messages from Real Housewives of Ottawa

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,937
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #83019276
  17. @shaneholender imagine getting to rail shane hollander everyday... ilya rozanov im cursing ur bloodline @therealilyarozanov Responding to @shaneholender 1. do not imagine that, he is MY husband not yours 2. that is ok with me pls do my shithead brother first - Harris (Chiron’s papa) Ilya get off your phone you have a concussion!!!! (10 years of ilya rozanov vs pr agents everywhere)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,999
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #82747216
  18. Zane Boodram tries to plan his next barbecue. Ilya Rozanov refuses to let anyone know peace. Shane suffers in silence (mostly). A Centaurs texting fic.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,283
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #82925481
  19. Scott and Ilya put up a united front against all the homophobic assholes in the league. Well, maybe not that united. But at least they're changing the narrative a bit, one homophobe at a time.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,473
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #82849586
  20. St. Simon
    i've been thinking about this for the past twelve hours, and my single problem with all of this is that you cannot be this down bad for a fucking metro, roz

    Ovlichein
    sainty, i think i'd agree but this is The Shane Hollander

    ‘Los
    no fr, anyone else and id be the first one to say cap stand UP !!! but this is miss jane
    like pls, miss jane will you teach me your ways

    Breezy
    ^^^^^ THE Miss Jane

    OR: Shane gets added to a new group chat a mere twenty-four hours after the ghostly outing. It's a highlight, compared to all the other shit that's happening.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,527
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #82282926
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