281 – 300 of 605 Works in Angst
- Angst ×
-
hold your hand through plastic now by shaneshole (MuddieBuddies)
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-02-20
Male carriers are a rare breed in North America. With only .005% of the male population having the recessive gene. In Canada there are a couple hundred male pregnancies documented each year with only half of them carrying to full term. Shane Hollander was one of the .005%. He just didn't know it. or; the angsty Shane Hollander mpreg fic
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 59,243
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #75293396
-
Built For The Ice, Not The Lights by Anonymous
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-02-20
His heartbeat was too fast. His chest felt tight. The microphone foam brushed his knuckles and the texture was suddenly unbearable, coarse, wrong. Too loud. Too bright. Too close. Too much. He needed space. or After an intense game and overwhelming post-game media scrum, Shane hits sensory overload and has a meltdown. Ilya finds him hiding away and stays, grounding him through it and reminding him he doesn’t have to handle everything alone. The worst part wasn’t the game. Shane could handle the game. The game had rules. It had structure. It had the clean geometry of the rink, the crisp bite of steel on ice, the predictable rotation of shifts. Even when it was chaotic, it was a chaos he understood. Pucks moved in patterns. Bodies angled in lines. Systems nested inside systems. Shane had been mapping them in his head since he was a kid. Media Day did not have rules. Or rather, it had too many. “Just be yourself,” the PR woman had said with a bright smile that hurt to look at. “Relax. Smile. Keep your answers light.” Be yourself. Relax. Light. The hallway outside the locker room was already too loud. Reporters clustered like birds, their voices overlapping in sharp bursts. The lights from the camera rigs were brighter than usual, hot and white and relentless. Someone had turned the music up in the dressing room, bass thudding through his ribs. Shane stood at his stall, fingers curled around the edge of the wooden bench. He tried to catalog sensations the way his therapist had taught him. Too bright. Too loud. Fabric itchy at the back of his neck. The elastic in his compression shirt digging into his ribs. Sweat cooling too fast along his spine. He inhaled for four counts. Held for four. Exhaled for four. “Hollander!” someone called. “You ready?” He nodded automatically. He was always ready. Except today his skin felt like it was two sizes too small. The game itself was brutal. Fast, punishing, every hit to his body landing harder than it should. It was the kind of rivalry matchup that fed headlines for weeks. Shane scored once, assisted once, and blocked a shot that left a bruise blooming across his thigh. He played well. He played the way he always did, precise, relentless, methodical. But the crowd was louder than usual, a constant wall of noise pressing against his skull. Every whistle shrieked. Every horn drilled straight through him. When he sat on the bench, the smell of sweat and rubber and ammonia stung the back of his throat. By the third period, his thoughts had started to fragment. Too loud. Too bright. Too much. He missed a pass he would normally make without looking. His stick felt wrong in his hands, the tape uneven. His gloves were damp and suffocating. When the final buzzer sounded and the arena erupted, the sound didn’t feel like celebration. It felt like an explosion. They won. Someone clapped him on the helmet. “Media’s gonna love you tonight, Hollander.” The thought made his heart sink just a little. The hallway afterward was worse. The lights hadn’t dimmed. If anything, they were harsher. Microphones were thrust toward his face, logos flashing. Questions overlapped, voices stacking on top of each other until he couldn’t separate them. “Shane, talk about that second-period goal—” “Was that set play something you practiced—” “How does it feel to beat—” “How much pressure did you feel coming into—” Pressure. He felt pressure everywhere. In his ears. In his teeth. Behind his eyes. He tried to answer the first question. He opened his mouth. The words did not come out in the right order. “I—uh—the play, it was—” The lights flickered slightly as someone adjusted a camera, and the motion snagged his focus. “We practiced—no, I mean—” Someone laughed softly, not unkindly, but it sliced through him anyway. His heartbeat was too fast. His chest felt tight. The microphone foam brushed his knuckles and the texture was suddenly unbearable, coarse, wrong. Too loud. Too bright. Too close. Too much. He needed space.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,604
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #79941316
-
but the fighter still remains by Anonymous
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-02-20
"He hates me." It was Rozanov's only reply, frail and desperate and entirely unbelieving. Scott couldn't help but scoff.
"No he doesn't." Rozanov kept his steely gaze trained on the ground, making a few attempts to speak before words actually found him.
"That is what he said?" His shaky words were a timid mix of devastated and hopeful, and Scott found himself fighting back watering eyes of his own.
"More than once." Scott confirmed. "Something tells me that you don't hate him, either." With that, the dam broke.
or:
Scott's still looking for his hotel room after talking to Shane Hollander. He finds Ilya Rozanov, instead.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,708
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #79900706
-
“Teammates,” Taylor echoed, his gaze drifting. Slowly, deliberately, to the ring on Ilya’s left hand. He did not look away immediately. He let the silence stretch until it became noticeable.
Shane felt the first flicker of unease then—not jealousy, not yet, but something colder. A sense of being assessed.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,828
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 2 versions
- AO3:
- #79863616
-
There was a time when Ilya believed Scott Hunter's coming out would revolutionize hockey forever— but for every step forward came two steps back.
When Shane and Ilya meet again late in life, can they make their second chance work?
OR: Old Man Hollanov Yaoi.
- Part 1 of old man hollanov yaoi
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 68,092
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Files:
- 5 versions
- AO3:
- #78739901
-
“You’re taking him to the Canteen?”
“Yeah- wait. You know it?” Shane turned to Rose with a surprised look on his face.
“He’ll like it!” Miles said, looking a bit shame-faced, like a child who hadn’t expected to be caught out.
“The Canteen, Miles.”
“He’ll have fun!” Miles insisted.
—-----------------------------
Going to a kink club with Miles may be one of the weirdest things Shane has ever done. But the evening gets even freakier when he bumps into Ilya Rozanov, his longtime rival and captain of the very team Shane was meant to be playing that night.
He's unfairly hot and incredibly irritating- but he gets under Shane's skin in a way no other dom can.
So hey, they might just find a way to make this work.
(Based on my own experiences as a domme in the London kink scene!)
Now with a playlist!- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 32,559
- Chapters:
- 6/?
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #77170526
-
Shane was freaking out. Coming out to his team DID NOT go well. Instead of talking to his friends, or Rose, he calls Ilya.
And then he follows his advice.- Part 1 of Boston AU
- Part 1 of My Autistic Shane Hollander Writings
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,106
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #79320546
-
love brought weight to this heart of mine by Anonymous
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-02-17
Shane tries to remember, peering into the darkness surrounding the car with a furrowed brow. It hurts to move, and he feels something warm and slick sliding down his cheek.
More blood, his mind supplies rather unhelpfully.
He was driving after dark, but he shouldn’t have been. He wasn’t supposed to be. They had all night together, so why is he here?
I already chose you, Hollander.
Shane inhales sharply as his mind slowly fills in the gaps in his memory. They fought. Ilya told him to leave. Shane did.
And then he crashed.
- Part 1 of Love Brought Weight
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,913
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 2 versions
- AO3:
- #79700176
-
Everybody on the ice stops as they wait for Shane to move. Nothing happens. Suddenly, Ilya is twelve years old again, standing over his mother, begging for her to wake up- to move, to do something.
A small puddle of blood begins pooling under Shane’s head and all hell breaks loose.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 9,778
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #79543166
-
lover, come home to me by Anonymous
Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
2026-02-16
Shane loses his game to a blizzard and his boyfriend to a bad hit, all in the same night.
Snowed in with his parents in Montreal, he watches Ilya get stretchered off on live TV, and discovers that when your relationship is a secret, no one at the hospital thinks to call you.
In Ottawa, Ilya wakes up with broken bones, a serious concussion, and a neatly edited brain. The months where he was lonely and depressed and fighting with Shane? Gone. He’s mentally living in the soft, hopeful beginning of things—and the more everyone tiptoes around him, the more wrong it feels.
The Centaurs step up. The Hollanders dig in. Shane tries to convince himself that “temporary amnesia” is not the same thing as losing him.
They’re still together. They’re technically fine.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 63,873
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #77861021
-
"I’m sorry, I am just—” He drops his fork to wave his hand around, the way he does when he's searching for the proper word. He knows enough English words to describe what it is he’s feeling, but they don’t feel like adequate descriptors. My father, the man I loathe, is dying, and there is nothing I can do to save him. Everyone in my life expects so little of me, and I feel as though I may disappear. I feel like, if I did disappear, perhaps the world would be all the better for it. You are the only man in my life who has made me feel happy to take up space. Shane, tell me, what is the English word for this?
Ilya Rozanov's okay, not good, probably bad day.
Set during a liminal space of my design between the All-Star game and Ilya's father's death.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 9,640
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #79694056
-
Back to the egg (it's crimson and gold) by Anonymous
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-02-15
Shane and Ilya once knew each other in what feels like another life. Years later, Shane has transitioned, buried his past and finally embraced his truest self. He comes to McGill to play on the men’s hockey team—only to find his roommate is Ilya Rozanov.
“Sorry—um.” Shane swallowed. “I’m Shane.”
Something passed across Ilya’s face, quick and unreadable. Shane’s pulse spiked, thudding loud in his ears. Did he know? If Ilya recognized him—if something clicked—what would stop him from telling the coaches? What would stop him from telling everyone?
Then Ilya smoothed it away, the moment gone as if it had never existed.“Huh,” he said. “Funny. I used to know a Shane. Pretty girl. Good at hockey.”
Shane’s eyes widened. His mouth went dry. Was Ilya fucking with him?
“Oh—um. I—”
“Relax,” Ilya cut in, lips curling into something almost amused, almost sharp. “You are very pretty, too.”
- Part 1 of Back to the egg (it’s crimson and gold)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 30,961
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #78981291
-
Ilya comes back from his brother's funeral, and spends a day with Shane.
- Part 2 of Concertina
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,767
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 2 versions
- AO3:
- #79406016
-
“You have a message from: Lily.” The automated voice read out. Shane almost swerved into the other lane trying to press the mute button on the dashboard. ”Woah, eyes on the road, dude!” Hayden yelled. “Ayyy!” J.J cheered. “The famous Boston Lily! Let’s hear what she has to say.” The automated voice continued. “Can’t wait to have my [tongue emoji] in your [peach emoji].” (while shane is driving certain texts get read out by the car's bluetooth)
- Part 12 of ways they didn't find out
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,846
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 3 versions
- AO3:
- #79130646
-
Between college, his night shift, and the other thing, Shane really doesn't have time to 'get to know' Ilya Rozanov. The man is clearly dangerous and obviously infuriating, and Shane totally does. Not. Have. Time.
Ilya doesn't do attachments, and he never does favors. He shouldn't give in to the urge to take care of this idiot student who was so mean to him, and he really shouldn't become so invested in his well-being.
The one where Ilya's the heir to a mafia syndicate, Shane really needs to get some sleep, and Hayden is not allowed to share his hats. There's passive-aggressive caretaking, more secrets than necessary, and bickering that can be heard through the walls.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 39,195
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Files:
- 2 versions
- AO3:
- #78264216
-
all secrets sleep in winter clothes by weeb_grass
Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
2026-02-11
“I can’t—” Shane tries to speak through the hysteria, but he gets caught trying to suck in a sharp breath. “I ca—” Hayden brings the phone back to his own ear. “He can’t hear you, man, he’s freaking out.” There’s shuffling on Rozanov’s end, then, very distinctly, he says, “Put me on speakerphone.” Or: Shane finds out about the plane malfunction just a tad too late. Featuring: breakdowns in the locker room, Ilya's love put on blast, and Comeau being the canonical dick we all know him to be.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,827
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 2 versions
- AO3:
- #79328486
-
Ilya was a machine. He was an animal trained. He brought the cigarette up to his lips and sucked in. His chest burned. Yesterday the door was ajar when he passed by his parents’ bedroom. Standing still in the hallway he watched for a minute as his mother, sitting like a soldier at her vanity, used her fingers to spread a thick peach-colored paint across her left cheekbone and around her eye. Ilya took another breath. He lit his lungs on fire.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,013
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #79134436
-
He doesn’t know how he ends up in the downstairs coat closet.
No memory exists of moving, of going down the staircase and shedding his ruined clothing until he’s only in his underwear, or opening the door and ripping all of Mama’s coats down to the floor. Vaguely, he recalls trembling in the cloud of her scent, stale and unhappy under the haze of old cigarettes.
What he remembers is flashes. Alexei, furious tears in his eyes, telling Papa he’d found Ilya. Papa, scowling down at him, snapping, “Ilya, get out of this closet right now.” One of Papa’s cop friends, saying, “Jesus, Grika, look at him. He’s in h—” and Papa replying coldly, “Not another word.”
Papa, kneeling in front of the closet, saying in an uncomfortable, painfully false, soft voice, “Synok, come out now. You cannot nest here.”
- Part 8 of all dwk heated rivalry fics
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,403
- Chapters:
- 2/?
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #78873656
-
"Whatever. Just don't let yourself get distracted just to get your dick wet, Hollander." Cormeau sneered. Roz interrupted him. "It has been seven years and it has not distracted us yet. I do not know if you remember this, or maybe your brain is all fucked up from all the hits you take, but me and Hollander are captains and we have both gotten our teams to Cups. So mind your fucking business." Cliff sucked in a breath. Surely that wasn't true. It couldn't be true. 7 years. That would mean it had been going on this entire time. The entire of Roz's career. The entire of Hollander's career. 7 years. What the fuck. (flipping my fic love and other drugs on it's head. ilya gets hurt and is high when shane goes to visit)
- Part 9 of ways they didn't find out
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,029
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 3 versions
- AO3:
- #78947421
-
Forty-eight people boarded the charter flight from Raleigh. Only one woke up in a Savannah hospital.
Ilya Rozanov is the unbreakable Captain of the Ottawa Centaurs. Now, he is also the sole survivor of a tragedy that the NHL would rather treat as a PR nightmare than a massacre. With a shattered body and a ghost team, Ilya finds himself at the center of a corporate conspiracy fueled by blood money.
But he isn't alone. Shane Hollander has always been his greatest rival. Now, he’s his only anchor. Because sometimes, the only way out is through.
Complete!
More Details on the Main Character Death TagHey! The MCD tag is STRICTLY for the death of the Centaurs team, right from the beginning. Neither Ilya nor Shane die at any point in the fic.
- Part 1 of Miracles
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 115,531
- Chapters:
- 40/40
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76901141