61 – 75 of 75 Works in Ilya Rozanov is a Little Shit

  • Ilya Rozanov is a Little Shit ×
  1. He waited. The ref held the puck. Then, a sound echoed through the arena. Maaaaaa. Ilya froze. He looked at the ref. The ref looked at him. From the Zamboni entrance, a goat trotted out onto the ice. It was a small, brown-and-white goat wearing a tiny, custom Boston scarf. Or The captain's jersey is cursed, it takes a while for Ilya to notice.

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  2. Everyone knows Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander are getting a fake marriage so that Ilya Rozanov can get a Canadian Permanent Resident Card. Everyone knows that except the immigration officers on the case, who know a slightly different story...

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  3. “Along these same lines, Shane is the only one allowed in my phone. He does not let anybody else in my contacts. Because I am bisexual, you know, he considers me talking to anybody but him to be cheating-” “-No I do not-” “-So, I cannot have teammates or coach in there and definitely no friends. He does all of our communicating through his own phone. Is a little inconvenient but anything to make him happy, yes?” “Ilya!” Shane shouts, “that is not true! Give me your phone right now, I’ll show them that you have more numbers in there and-” “It is recording,” Ilya points at the camera, causing Shane to look over and just sigh while Ilya continues on, “But you see, everybody, he even wants to check my phone every single day to make sure I am not breaking this rule, you just saw it there.” “That’s not what I meant!” * Comments: @shanehollanderhockeyplayer I’m never recording a video with you ever again. Okay yes I will but only if you promise not to slander me again. * OR, Ilya posts a video about the "rules" Shane has for him. These rules do not exist. Shane spirals.

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  4. They're down to the final countdown before Ilya leaves the cottage. Shane's mom arrives with fresh food from the local market and... unrequested supplies. OR Ilya stays at the cottage longer than originally planned. Yuna Hollander just wants her boys to be safe and well. To Ilya's delight and Shane's horror, she brings them sex-related items.

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  5. “It’s easy, see? I give you this money. You watch this door.” Wallace stares at the lean, muscled dude who is standing in the hallway that leads to the hotel gym while grasping a bottle of vodka in one hand and cradling a wad of cash in his outstretched palm. Working a night shift as gym security at an LA hotel during the MLH draft was certainly bound to be an adventure, but this particular scenario wasn’t exactly what he expected to be handling at two o’clock in the morning.

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  6. "Sorry. Just realized something just now.," Ilya laughs. "What?" "Loons," Ilya says and laughs again. "Loons?" Yuna repeats confused. "When I went to the cottage last summer Shane made fun of me because I never heard the loon call before. I was so scared. I called it stupid canadian wolf bird," Yuna lets out a little laugh, Ilya continues - "I just realized that these ducks on my baby blanket, they look like..." "Loons," Yuna finishes with smile tugging on her lips. "Yes. Loons. Shane will make fun of me," Ilya groans but not maliciously. He takes the blanket out of Yuna's hands and brings it to his face, trying to see if it still smells like home, like his mom. But the smell was gone and his heart lurches. (...) "Tell me the stories. All of them." *** Or: Ilya has the flu when he recieves a package from Svetlana containing his childhood memorabilia from Russia. Mother son duo Ilya Rozanov and Yuna Hollander strikes again ❤

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  7. he’s so gone by

    Heated Rivalry (TV)
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    2026-01-05

    “Words, Hollander. Tell me that you are helpful.” Shane clears his throat. “I-I’m helpful. When you need to come.” “молодец. Good boy,” Ilya breathes, starting to really move his hand now. He can physically see the moment the fog takes over Shane’s brain. The one that always comes over him when they’re hooking up or fucking. He watches Shane’s eyes go glassy and his mouth hang open, and his lips get wet and he knows he has him. Knows that Shane will do whatever he asks now. He loves when he’s like this. Fuck. “You are, aren’t you?” he asks. “My good boy?”

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  8. “Where is my baby?” Ilya asks as soon as he opens the door to the Pikes’ SUV when it pulls into the parking lot of Christ Church Cathedral. 

    “Lovely to see you too, Rozanov,” Hayden says as he opens his car door. 

    “Hi, Hayden,” Shane says from behind Ilya. “Lovely to see you. Please ignore my husband.”

    Ilya can’t even be bothered to snark back at either of them, because today is his big day. 

    Well, mostly. It’s sort of Amber’s day, too, he guesses, and kind of Shane’s as well if one were to look at it from a very specific angle, but mostly it’s Ilya’s. 

    And as Amber gives him a cheesy grin when she sees him (a new development as of the last couple of weeks), Ilya knows even his boring husband and his boring husband’s loser best friend can’t ruin this perfect day.

    Because today, Ilya’s becoming a godfather.

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  9. The video leaks on a random Tuesday, halfway through Shane Hollander’s first season with the Ottawa Centaurs. After the relationship and subsequent marriage between infamous rivals and to-be Hall-of-Famers Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov was revealed at the end of the previous season, all eyes were on the Centaurs and their newlyweds. or A video from the Voyageurs locker room before Game 4 of Ottawa vs. Montreal leaks.

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  10. 5 times Ilya Rozanov told his Boston Teammates that he was hooking up with Shane Hollander and they didn't believe him, and 1 time they finally do.

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  11. Shane’s cheeks burned red and he turned away from him, “sorry that I'm so boring all the time,” “Mmh, not all the time,” Ilya smiled deviously, “sometimes you are very fun,” The shorter raised an eyebrow at him, “yeah? And what are those times?” “When we fuck,”

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  12. You: Why are you sending me pictures of cats? Lily: its not cat You: Yes, Rozanov, that is a cat. Lily: no Lily: is angry kitten Lily: like you --- or: ilya sends those angry kittten pics to shane.

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  13. Before the Montreal vs. Boston game, Ilya proposes a bet: Loser does whatever the winner wants later that night. Simple. Until losing means that Shane has to try something new. But whatever Ilya wants, Ilya gets. And Ilya wants Shane dressed up all pretty for him.

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  14. Many people have started turning their heads at the commotion. Ilya’s half sure it’s just another drunken brawl, a frequent byproduct of stupidity and poorly held liquor— but Svetlana, who is sitting angled towards whatever is happening, squints her eyes. Surprise splashes across her face. “Podozhdite. Isn’t that Hollander?” Later, when he finds Shane outside on the curb, Ilya says, “What the fuck.” “I’m half Japanese,” Shane replies like it explains everything and like he didn’t just deck a man flatly out. “My mom put me in Karate when I was little. What that guy said wasn’t right, and he initiated it, so.” or: hollander gets into a bar fight. rozanov tends to his wounds afterwards

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  15. “Shane…” “Who the fuck do you think you’re calling Shane?” “Sweetheart,” Ilya corrects, tilting his head down against Shane’s grip on his hair to try to catch his lips. “Please.” “I can do everything she can,” Shane says. “But you’ve been a bit too naughty today. I’m tying you up first.” “Oh, no,” Ilya says, voice going high and breathy. “That’s terrible.” — Or - The jealous Shane/pathetic top Ilya fic where Shane makes Ilya beg for it

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