21 – 27 of 27 Works in Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
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Shane doesn’t realize he’s braced for silent eyes until he feels the absence of it — the weight of teammates immediately finding him and going quiet, waiting for him to fuck up, to say the wrong thing, to exist wrong. He expects the chatter of a room to drop when he enters and its disconcerting to find it doesn't yet in Ottawa.
He stands at the entrance a beat too long.
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It’s the start of Shane Hollander’s first season in Ottawa and he should be settled. The Centaurs are friendly, the room is easy, and Ilya is finally close enough to touch. But, as Shane is intimately aware of, old habits learned the hard way will linger.
- Part 1 of After the Whistle
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 18,982
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #80089206
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“I am in control. I make the decisions,” Shane murmured to himself for the hundredth time that hour. He felt a little bit insane, sitting on the cold bathroom floor locked in a civil war with himself. On one side: his rational brain; on the other, the oily, persistent whisper trying to sell him a regret he couldn’t afford. His stomach squirmed with what could either be nausea or anxiety —it all felt the same at this point. Just do it. You’ll feel so much lighter and cleaner once it is all out of your system. The temptation to believe that lie was a physical weight. He was exhausted from the fight. He could feel his dinner sitting like a stone in the pit of his stomach, heavy and stagnant. He knew he probably would feel better if he could get rid of it. But… fuck. Or Shane is struggling with a dangerous urge and is flighting a lonely battle with himself on the bathroom floor. Until Ilya reminds him that he’s not alone.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,877
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #79675126
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Shane, As Defined by Ilya. by Anonymous
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-02-10
Finally have time and inspiration to write a AU where Irina escapes her husband, and is able to take Ilya with her and raise him on her own with the support of the women of the neighbourhood like Yuna Hollander.
'There has never been a version of Shane that never loved Ilya.'
- Part 1 of There is no Shane without Ilya.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 31,215
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #79225396
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we're the product of love (that we do not receive). by Anonymous
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-02-02
Maybe together they could figure out a way to make sure Ilya was never afraid of David again. He really didn’t want to be afraid of David.
“Is… silly.” Ilya said. “Maybe not silly, but now that we are here and not there, I see it was silly. I broke the wine, and I thought - maybe everyone will be angry. And…” Clearing his throat, Ilya pushed past his discomfort to spit out the next part. “Well, angry back in Russia is not the same as angry here, I think.”
“What was angry like back in Russia?”
OR
Ilya drops a bottle of wine, and it's fine. Really, it's fine. If only someone could tell Ilya's brain that.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,316
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #78804886
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something you can build by Anonymous
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-01-21
Six months ago, Shane’s intimate conversation and break-up with Rose Landry was recorded and leaked. In those six months, his life had completely upended and everything had changed, for better or for worse. Except for Ilya. He still has Ilya, and he’s beginning to understand that he always will.
It’s 2018. Shane Hollander has to figure out his new life, in a new city, on a new team, while being out to the world but not by his own choice. Ilya, along for the ride, also has to learn what it means to be connected to a place, to a person, and to his own inner truth.
(Sequel to “something you can fix,” set post-Heated Rivalry, pre-The Long Game)
- Part 2 of something you can fix
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 96,881
- Chapters:
- 13/13
- Files:
- 6 versions
- AO3:
- #77007546
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Boston lost. The Raiders are pissed. Ilya keeps waiting for the other shoe to drop.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,285
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76249666
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the ground is spinning still by chagrinocturne
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2025-12-09
The plane is falling. The plane is falling and Ilya is on it and Shane watches it fall. The plane is falling and Ilya is dead. Or, Shane Hollander has a hard time dealing with Ilya's brush with death.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,882
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #75507881
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