101 – 118 of 118 Works in Grief/Mourning
- Grief/Mourning ×
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of human bondage by blossominribcage
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2025-12-28
Ilya’s brother gives him a call to congratulate him on his wedding. He might need some reassurance from Shane after he’s unwise enough to take it.
- Part 6 of ilya and shane’s silly adventures
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,005
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76571321
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The missing conversation between Ilya and David where David shares some things and Ilya starts to think that there might just be a space in this family for him.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,656
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76556606
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My Little Loon by arenasoundsystem (cutflowersounds)
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2025-12-28
“Mama,” he says, bringing the cigarette to his lips. “You have been worried about me. I know.” The smoke in his throat is so familiar. When he breathes out, it's already jagged. "I wanted to tell you that you don't have to be. Not anymore." (Or: after waking early one morning at the cottage, Ilya goes down to the water to talk to his mother.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,957
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76543601
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Wish that you were here by pinkamour1588
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2025-12-27
"I miss her," Ilya said after a while, his voice barely above a whisper. "I know." Shane kissed the top of his head. Or Ilya struggles as he remembers his mom on her birthday.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,834
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76501321
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Shane accidentally stumbles upon a memory of a happy summer day in Ilya’s childhood. Its edges are sharp like a knife.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,817
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76539176
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Never Forgotten (except the sound of her voice) by TheQueenoftheAbyss
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2025-12-27
'I have seen your charity in her name, Mama should not be forgotten.' The note was short and to the point, no love for Ilya from his brother was scrawled into the familiar letters. But there was love for their mother there, and there was the fact that Andrei had sent it at all. - Ilya's brother sends a parcel containing home video from Ilya's childhood to Canada. Ilya never expected to receive a parcel from his brother after five years of no contact, and He never expected to hear his mother's voice again.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,108
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76549256
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Ilya knows there is a thing about himself he has to always keep hidden in the deepest recesses of his body, behind his molars and in his core. He thinks Shane Hollander might be the same, except the thing about him he cannot hide. Ilya Rozanov is the biggest hockey talent of his generation. So is Shane Hollander. But over the years Ilya notices that the vicious media and the clamouring fans and some of his more foul-mouthed teammates treat Hollander differently than any other hockey player.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 12,438
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 2 versions
- AO3:
- #76278971
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He was used to being without her. The pain never went away but the sting became manageable; something he could tuck away and avoid ever thinking about. Except when he couldn’t. Like during Hockey Moms Weekend. Ilya’s mother had died when he was twelve. By the time he was truly an orphan, Ilya had spent most of his life without her than he had with her in it. He was used to being without her. The pain never went away but the sting became manageable; something he could tuck away and avoid ever thinking about. Except when he couldn’t. Like during Hockey Moms Weekend. It was a tradition across the league where the players’ mothers came for the weekend, spending time with the team for a brunch, a skate and some fun activites, and then traveling with the team to cheer them on at a game. It was fun! Everyone loved it! It was a way to appreciate the women in their lives who sat in the cold to watch them play and drove them to practice early in the morning and nursed their many bumps and bruises along the way. Not that Ilya would know. It wasn’t his first time, of course. His whole childhood he had gotten used to not looking up. Not as his classmates cheered at the sight of their mothers picking them up from school. Not as a child when he had gotten hurt and wanted someone to comfort him like other children got when they skinned their knees. Not as his teammates turned into babies the moment they scored their first professional goals and saw their mothers in the crowds or heard their proud voices over the phones. No. Ilya had trained himself. He had gotten used to keeping his eyes fixed on what was in his hands and Ilya had always made sure there was something in his hands. A phone, a puck, tape. Something in his hands to keep him occupied so he didn’t have to listen to what he never had. In Boston it had been his gear and then his phone, texting Jane and wondering if Shane turned into the same gushy child the rest of the players in the league got the moment their mothers stepped into the locker room with skates in their hands. His rookie year, the social media girl had admitted that she had made sure her team of interns knew not to pester Ilya that weekend for content. Her name had been Eliza and she had been kind. She hadn’t made a big thing of it. Just quiet gave Ilya some peace when he’d been dreading it for weeks. Ilya had made a fool of himself eating disgusting American snacks for a video for her to make up for the thoughtful gesture. But Ilya couldn’t hide away anymore. Not now that he was in Ottawa. For one, he was the captain and that came with a certain level of expectations. He was meant to set an example. Some people didn’t know how lucky they were to have mothers who embarrassed them. For another, his new team was annoyingly perceptive of his mood. In Boston, his teammates knew when to avoid him and not push for more. Ilya never told them and no one ever asked and he’d liked it this way. But the Centaurs were a different team. They cared about him and he loved them more than he thought himself capable of loving a group of people. The Centaurs were practically vibrating with excitement as the weekend steadily approached and Ilya didn’t want to ruin it. So, he put on a smile and tried not to wince at the sharp pain bursting behind his ribs as he forced himself to watch the first wave of mothers that came through the door for the team brunch. Wyatt and Evan waved down their mothers as if they couldn’t see them from ten feet away. Nick Chouinard took his mother’s luggage while playfully teasing her about over packing. Bood picked his mother off her feet in a hug that made even Ilya’s bones ache just watching. Each of them, elite athletes in their primes who had knocked out a few teeth and had mouths that could make even him blush sometimes. But they were all just big softies at heart. Ilya tried to stay out of his own head. He played his part. He stood up and greeted every one of their guests, charming and assuring them that yes, their darling boys absolutely did not get up into any trouble at all in the hotel rooms. They were perfectly good, well behaved angels who were always in bed on time and never in threat of being arrested ever. Each and every one of them cooed and awed over him until their sons got jealous and then Ilya made his excuses to find a quiet corner to nurse his headache and the ache he couldn’t shake from his lungs that made it hard to breathe. The room was a labor of love. The conference room had a wall of windows that looked out over the skyline of Ottawa where snow was trickling from some soft grey clouds in the sky. Several round tables were draped in table clothes with the team colors. Strings of fairy lights had been wrapped around center pieces of beautiful flower arrangements of white roses and sprigs of lavender. Several of the mothers had made a stop at the mimosa bar where freshly squeezed orange juice was waiting next to bottles of champagne and garnishes of raspberries and cranberries and strawberries and pretty much any berry catering could get their hands on. Brunch was a relaxed affair with a buffet of eggs, waffles, bacon, sausage, steamed asparagus with hollandaise sauce, and more fruit arranged in the shape of a peacock. There was an entire table dedicated to chocolate sweets and cheese. Music was playing softly in the background and Harris had set up a photo booth where Ilya was sure many of the mothers would be dragging their sons after a few more mimosas.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,058
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76188861
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bet it feels nice, turning your back on your whole damn life by vettelian19
Heated Rivalry (TV)
2025-12-21
On the anniversary of his father’s death, Ilya bakes a sharlotka. (or, grieving something you were happy to lose, ilya rozanov style)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,116
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76133226
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Hi, this is Ilya. I will never listen to your voicemail.
Shane jolts like he’s been shot, a sharp breath bursting from the depths of his diaphragm. The comfort of hearing Ilya’s voice fizzles out with the knowledge that Ilya didn’t pick up. Logic says he’s still on the flight. But why would he—
Ilya knows how Shane is, how he gets. He wouldn’t send a bunch of ominous fucking messages and then drop off the face of the earth without letting Shane know he’s okay.
Except, he did. Which means—
The plane scene, reimagined. ft. Ilya's voicemail.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,827
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76057191
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Once, belied by the notion of a city teeming with other Russians, he spent the day going from bakery to bakery in New York City, trying to find a cake that would even come close. It was the dead of winter, and he blamed any teariness on the way the wind whipped at his face. He ignored texts from everyone but Shane. -- Медовик (medovik) is a Russian cake made with layers of cake, cream, and honey.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,188
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 2 versions
- AO3:
- #75734081
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I Will Hold You Up, I'll Be Right Beside You by lucianowriter
Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2025-12-08
Ilya has a series of really bad days, so Shane plans an elaborate surprise to cheer him up.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,178
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #75451121
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The resemblance hit Yuna like a punch to the gut. The same honey-colored curls, though hers were styled in a gorgeous twist at the back of her head. If Yuna could see past all of the times Ilya’s nose had been broken and re-healed, she imagined it would look something like the woman’s in front of her. And those eyes - a mix of hazel and gold with tiny flecks of green if you looked close enough. Ilya must have gotten his strong jaw from his father, because this woman’s features were narrow and sharp. Stunning.
When she smiled, it looked so like Ilya’s that Yuna could have cried.
“Irina,” she said.
“Yuna,” Irina said, bowing her head politely.
OR
Ilya wishes on a star. The universe helps it come true.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,240
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #75058806
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Shane & Ilya prepare their daughter's nursery.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,210
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #74983941
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it wasn't right (the way it went down) by theoneiam2277
Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
2025-11-28
And so Shane steps into the Voyageurs' locker room, Luca on his heels, leaving the door open just a crack so Ilya and the others can hear what's going on. The room goes quiet immediately, all faces turning to Shane in shock. Hayden's the first to react, scrambling up from his stall, eyes wide. "Shane? What's going on?" "I just wanted to see if any of you were willing to talk? So quiet on the ice today. I thought you'd have things to say to me, all things considered." Shane sweeps his gaze over his former team, uses his disappointed-Captain-voice and feels a smidge of smugness when it clearly hits them as it always has. "So say them to my fucking face, not behind my back." --- Shane needs to clear the air with the Montreal Voyageurs. Post-Book 6: The Long Game.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,574
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #74896806
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Ilya stumbles upon Hayden's new profile picture on instagram, one with his wife and four kids, and he tries to not feel anything about it. Set in 2019 and 2025
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,721
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #67655841
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After six years of marriage, Shane and Ilya enter the next chapter of their life together... parenthood.
- Part 1 of Life After Hockey
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 102,658
- Chapters:
- 21/21
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #54384130
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Shane Hollander is a single guy living a fairly boring life until he meets ruggedly handsome and European, Ilya Rozanov. A whirlwind romance begins, but Ilya has a secret that could come between him and Shane.
- Part 1 of The Mafia AU
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 70,698
- Chapters:
- 18/18
- Files:
- 2 versions
- AO3:
- #52615867
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