41 – 59 of 59 Works in Brad Hammersmith

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  1. Roz: it’s weird with her
    Roz: idk if anyone else ever has this happen
    Roz: but I can’t get enough from her
    Roz: usually after sex with someone I am done
    Roz: but the more I have of Jane, the more I want
    Roz: weird, right?

    Hammer: sounds like you’re falling for her, Rozy

    Roz: no, no
    Roz: like, sometimes I want to see her even after sex
    Roz: or text her but not dick pics
    Roz: weird feeling, like horny but for talking or hanging out
    Roz: its confusing, hard to explain

    Cliff: you’re literally just describing liking a person

    Cliff Marleau's seen his captain through some crazy times and some wild crash outs. This is a little foray into some of the group chats and nights out with the boys. Especially when Cap is in his feels about his Montreal Girl.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,445
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #80972336
  2. Seb loved Hammer. The only reason they weren’t together together yet, in Seb’s honest opinion, was the NHL.

    Or, a character study of Sebbin, an almost former hockey player with no filter, hopelessly in love, and utterly incapable of keeping his thoughts to himself.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,443
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #81945836
  3. "I am going to call him," Ilya said.

    Or how Ilya drunkenly comes out to the Raiders and they stop him from making a call he'll regret.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,366
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #81920846
  4. Hypothesis: Marlow could be queer.
    Method: Exposure to research materials provided by Seb.
    Peer Review: Conducted by the group chat.
    Results: See findings inside.
    Spoiler: He's not.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,616
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #81790461
  5. “Wait, I could totally see that,” Connors says. “She wears reading glasses and he’s, like, obsessed with them. Sometimes on the road, he calls her from the bathroom and I hear him begging her to put them on.” “The glasses! I heard that too.” Shit, it must be a fetish, right? She doesn’t just happen to be old. Rozy likes that she’s old. Or: Cliff figures out why Ilya’s keeping his Montreal girl a secret. She’s not a girl at all...she's an elderly woman. Or maybe an elderly man?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,596
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    2 versions
    AO3:
    #81521411
  6. Couple watching is Sebbin’s favourite Valentine’s Day activity, and Boston on Valentine’s Day is full of restaurants with red paper hearts taped to the windows, red dresses and flowers, and a hockey player called Brad Hammersmith pretending they’re just best friends who sleep together sometimes.

    Or, Seb loves love, and Hammer would like to stop overthinking their relationship.

    POV Brad Hammersmith :)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,144
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #81599076
  7. The Boston boys have a mystery on their hands.
    This one involves several tequila sunrises, Ilya Rozanov's heart eyes, Scott Hunter's help, and an out-of-control group chat.
    Are they up for the challenge?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,924
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #81503131
  8. Unfortunately for Brad Hammersmith, Cliff Marlow and Ilya Rozanov have working phones and zero respect for minding their own business.

    Or, Marlow and Roz find Hammer a date in Sebbin for Valentine's Day.

    It's a texting fic, and set during All Stars 2022.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,010
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #81430291
  9. Marlow attends the 2022 All-Star weekend in New York strictly for the gossip.

    Or, Hunter finds out about Sebbin and Hammer.

    Or, Roz has been Marlow's gossip buddy forever, and Vaughn might be a promising new one?

    POV Cliff Marlow <3

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,004
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #81385376
  10. Carmicheal: Link: The End of the Hollandry Era - A Power Couple's Unexpected Breakup Shocks Fans

    what is this

    Carmichael: click it

    why

    Carmichael: do it

    are you trying to hack me???

    Carmicheal: no definitely not

    you're not convincing

    Carmicheal: promise just click

    fine

    if i get some weird fucking porn virus im blaming you and taking it out on you too

    oh

    OH SHIT

    in which: the bears go to a club, the bears regret going to said club,rose landry comes through in their hour of need, and connors's girlfriend kicks him out of bed.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,759
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #81397576
  11. Marlow watches Sebbin and Hammer be weird on a kiss cam.

    Or, as long as no one asked, the kiss both happened and didn’t happen.

    POV Cliff Marlow because hothothot, and Ilya Rozanov being a science guy.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,503
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #81278111
  12. “Please, Roz,” Ovlichein, their youngest rookie, begs. Ilya doesn't doubt how earnestly he means his words as he arches a brow at him, watching panic spread across Ovlichein's face. “Everyone else said that they couldn't host, and I offered but they said that none of the rooks could, which meant that Breezy and 'Los couldn't either, and then Marley said that we wouldn't gel as a team, and then everyone else agreed, and then Carmie and Sebbin said that we were going to be cursed if we didn't—”

    Ilya holds up a hand, gratified when Ovlichein immediately falls silent.

    The locker room is empty of everyone else, a trap neatly laid by the team. Ilya would be impressed by their conniving if it weren't so fucking irritating.

    “This is a setup,” Ilya says slowly, watching as Ovlichein pales. “You know this, yes? You have been sent as a sacrifice for the whole team.”

    OR: Ilya is a sensible captain. He takes care of his rookies, he hosts the team when needed, and he doesn't fuck around with ouija boards. Too bad Boston only cares about the first two things

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,147
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #80788221
  13. Ilya: He should buy lottery tickets because he is the luckiest man on earth Ilya: He should get on his knees and thank god everyday that he got to fuck you Shane: Oh my God stop Ilya: What? I do that Or: The man who topped Shane in Mexico posts about his experience, Ilya contemplates murder, and the other queer NHL players get caught in the crossfire.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,798
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    3 versions
    AO3:
    #80963886
  14. The Boston Bears find out that Ilya Rozanov is extremely obnoxious about being married.

    or, Ilya Rozanov is forced to remember that his former Stanley Cup winning roster was made up of dumb hockey players.

    POV Cliff Marlow because I think he's hot.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,538
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #80620356
  15. NO KILLING: you sound so desperate dude

    i am desperate

    its been five weeks and four days of this shit

    i can't fucking take it man

    Carl: me neither

    Carl: send it

    the conversation with rose.

    Language:
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    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #80510801
  16. Hammersmith: ALL STARS!!!!!!!!!

    they fucking kissed.

    rozy fucking kissed hollander on the fucking helmet and the entire world went

    hah :) yeah :) they're just rivals:)

    Carmicheal: the bestest of rivals :)

    Carmicheal: absolutely no hanky panky going on here folks just hatred :)

    in which the Bears figure out who Jane really is. and attempt to think of a game plan.

    Language:
    English
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    2,257
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #80505336
  17. figure out why they broke up

    get them back together

    get them married so they can never leave each other

    and then we never have to deal with 4:30 am bag skates again

    Hammersmith: works for me

    Hammersmith: all in favor?

    St-Simon: Aye aye assistant Captain.

    Connors: fuck yeah

    Carmuffin: hell yes

    in which the boston bears are sick of their captain making them do early morning drills and vow to get him back with his ex, the girl they only know by the name of jane.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,069
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #80451261
  18. On the drive away from Shane's parent's cottage he realizes he wants to marry Ilya and he doesn't want to wait another second. Not even to change shoes.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,088
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #76723196
  19. The internet has decided that Ilya Rozanov is absolutely, definitely, 100% banging a Hollander. They’ve got photo evidence. Multiple sightings. Instagram stories from the same café. The man stayed OVERNIGHT at the Hollander residence. It’s the most legendary power move in NHL history: seduce your rival’s hot mom to assert dominance. There’s just one tiny problem with this theory. Ilya’s fucking a Hollander, all right. Just … not that one. Or in which Ilya’s boyfriend's mother keeps adopting him, the internet keeps assuming the worst, and Shane Hollander is having the worst month of his entire life. At least until he does something that breaks hockey forever. Translation into 中文-普通话 國語 available: 【授翻】香草妈妈理论(已完结) by 3Liquids Translation into Русский available: Это не то, что вы думаете! by dramione_must_reads r/hockey Posted by u/puckedup247 • 3h ago Okay what the FUCK is going on with Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander’s mom??? So I was at this charity thing in Ottawa yesterday (my aunt volunteers) and I literally saw Ilya Rozanov having brunch with Yuna Hollander. Just the two of them. At this cozy little place on Elgin Street. And like … they seemed REALLY comfortable with each other??? She kept touching his arm and laughing and he was doing that thing where he leans in all close when he talks. I took a pic but it’s blurry as hell (sorry, was trying to be subtle). Am I insane or is this weird??? Why would Rozanov be hanging out with his RIVAL’S MOM??? [Blurry photo of a curly-haired man in a leather jacket sitting across from an elegant woman with long black hair at a café table] 2.4k comments u/hockeyfan_617 819 points • 3h ago oh my fucking god u/BearsNation96 723 points • 3h ago LMAOOOOO this is the most alpha shit I’ve ever seen. Rozanov is literally fucking with Hollander by dating his mom. I’m fucking DECEASED 💀💀💀 u/VoyageursForever 651 points • 2h ago This cannot be real. This CANNOT be real. I refuse to believe this is happening. u/CheckingForHockey 589 points • 2h ago Guys, there’s probably a totally innocent explanation for- Actually no, I got nothing. This is wild. u/PuckSlut420 512 points • 2h ago okay but can we acknowledge that Yuna Hollander is like 52 and looks like THAT? I’d shoot my shot too tbh u/BearsNation96 301 points • 2h ago Right??? Total rocket. Rozanov’s got taste. u/MontrealMadness 445 points • 2h ago Shane Hollander is somewhere having a complete fucking meltdown right now and I wish I could see it u/hockeyinsider99 398 points • 2h ago This is the most elaborate mindfuck in NHL history. Rozanov saw “fuck the Voyageurs” and said “okay, specifically the mother of their first line center“ LILY: Someone on reddit has picture of me and your mama at brunch LILY: Is very blurry but still LILY: People think I am fucking her 😂😂😂 JANE: WHAT JANE: WHAT THE FUCK JANE: ILYA LILY: Is very funny! LILY: They think I do this to mess with you LILY: Like psychological warfare JANE: This is NOT funny JANE: People think you’re SLEEPING WITH MY MOTHER LILY: I know!!! 😂😂😂 LILY: Is hilarious JANE: ILYA. LILY: Shane, relax LILY: Your mama thinks is funny too LILY: She send me the reddit link JANE: oh my god JANE: oh my GOD

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,813
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    2 versions
    AO3:
    #76676306
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