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  1. “Pretend we don't know each other?” Shane repeats, a little confused in all honesty. Wasn't therapy about talking? “Yes. You are meeting for the first time in this room. Introduce yourselves.” Shane shifts in his seat, slowly turning to Ilya. It's not all that different from the first time they'd actually met; the awkward vibes radiating off Shane are almost identical. They're just missing a snowy forecast and a cigarette. He decides to go a step further, standing up. It feels the right thing to do under the circumstances. Who meets for the first time sitting down? He takes a step forward, holding his hand out to Ilya. Or not Ilya. This random man he’s about to meet, who happens to look a lot like Ilya. Ilya takes the cue, standing from his own chair with a shake of his head. He takes Shane’s hand, shaking firmly. “I’m Shane, uh, Shane Hollander.” Ilya nods. “Ilya Rozanov.” —————— Or: Shane and Ilya get sent to reconciliation therapy, and of course, handle it super well.

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  2. “Have you ever?” Shane glanced at him, as though looking at him for too long was too much of a temptation. “What?” “Violated your vows?” He watched his breath speed up. It would be imperceptible if Ilya wasn’t so focused on every detail of him. “No,” he said too quickly, so Ilya knew it was a lie. He leaned forward, so close that his chest brushed his shoulder. “You are a bad liar, Father.” Or, a sinner and a priest fall for each other in a house of God.

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  3. When he first stumbled upon the concept of bitching, Shane thought it was purely a porn thing. A fantasy. Surely there couldn’t actually be a way to change him from an alpha to an omega, right? “It’s definitely not a common practice, but it can be done,” his therapist, Leanna, said during there next appointment. “I’ve seen it used as a means of gender affirming care before– it can be life changing in more ways than the literal sense for a lot of people.” Once the thought had entered his head, there was no way to stop it from racing around there.

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  4. Sometimes, it feels like they’re two planets caught in the same volatile orbit. Shane spends his nights wondering why the girls in the rinkside seats feel like white noise while every single highlight reel of Ilya Rozanov feels like a secret rendezvous. Ilya spends his afternoons wondering if the heavy thrumming in his heart whenever Shane pins him against the boards is hate, or if it’s the only thing that makes him feel human. All Ilya knows is that he would have been there to tell him that a lost game wasn’t the end of the world, and he would have iced the bruises on Shane’s back. Their story is a road movie. It’s a double-feature. Two boys striking out across a field of wildflowers in Ottawa, while desire, like a monster, crawls up out of a lake nearby. All of us are wondering if these two boys will find a way to figure things out. One cuts a lock of his hair with a steak knife in the restroom of a gas station. He knows he’s desperate to subvert expectations. Expectations of being the golden boy, the very best, the pride of his family. The other smothers a cigarette on the ground with the toe of his scuffed-up boot. He presses down on it, hard, and it almost feels like a part of his bruised heart gets smashed into the tile too. One boy, half-destroyed, and the other, half-complete. Both screaming into the space between their faces as they run across a field, watching the sky around them transform from dark night into the coming of dawn. It’s not just the warmth of the glow of sunrise they’re feeling, no. There’s something more there that makes their hearts flutter, something that settles into the pits of their stomachs as Shane grabs onto Ilya’s hand. The world still looks the same to Ilya, but when he squints a little harder, he realizes it burns brighter. It’s shinier, and it’s sunnier. It’s better. OTTAWA, 2005 There is a kind of love between them that Ilya doesn’t quite know how to describe. A love that blazes in innocence, born on a Tuesday afternoon in a downtown community rink. Warm, damp grass grazes Ilya’s palms as he leans back on his hands outside the arena, letting himself bathe in the slow midday heat. It feels like soft kisses across his face. Something he never knew and felt in the biting winters of his childhood in Moscow. It’s nice. Shane braces himself with a wince as he feels the ice beneath his palms etch into his skin like a blade after a particularly hard fall. He feels the glaring floodlights burn holes into his back, right through his jersey. “How do you do it?” “Do what?” Two boys with their shoulders pressed against each other’s as they lean over the boards. Shane with his custom skates that are glossy with crisp red lines running across the middle. He’d leave behind clean lines in the ice as he weaved around the slower skaters. Ilya looks back down at his own skates. They’re rentals, and a jarring industrial blue. Not the shiny finish of Shane’s skates, no. It’s the kind of plastic that makes you scrunch your nose up in disgust. He runs his fingers across the dozens of scratches and scuff marks. He’d leave odd-shaped gashes in the ice after ramming himself into the boards in an effort to slow down. “I wish I could skate like you.” Ilya bumps the toe of his skates against the boards. “Well, if you come here every Tuesday, I can teach you,” Shane says, glancing behind his back. “Oh, really?” Ilya asks, his accent still clipped. “Yeah.” Ilya never returns to the rink. His family moves again, chasing work and a life that he’s never quite entirely sure belongs to him. He clutches a small, crumpled hockey trading card Shane had signed for him as a joke. All he can think about in the car is the distance growing between them as the engine revs, away from the only boy who didn’t care that Ilya was the “weird foreign kid” that nobody wanted to get close to. A sign overhead whizzes past, and Ilya can barely make out the words on it as he clambers to peer through the backseat windows.

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  5. Shane reflects on his feelings about hockey after a fight with his and Ilya's teenage daughter.

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  6. such a loveable lamb by

    Heated Rivalry (TV)
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    2026-01-09

    Shane presses his forehead deeper into Ilya's body, breathes through his nose when he feels the stretch in the corners of his mouth and his throat closes up from the intrusion. The patch of coarse hair there scratches his nose and chin. He tries to swallow some of his spit, but all that failed attempt does is make him drool even more when he gags, his tongue involuntary pushing up and outwards to clear up his passageway but he would not take Ilya out of his mouth. Instead, he closes his eyes and takes another deep breath through his nose, recalling all the breathing techniques he learned in therapy, in training, in his experiences being intimate with Ilya. It should be easier now than when he's fully hard, but that sinking feeling of failing stings Shane's eyes all the same. It's one thing to fail at something — at being like the other guys, at winning a game, at getting a joke — but it's another thing to feel like he has failed someone. // Shane wants to help Ilya takes his mind off something. Even though he doesn't want to tell him what it is.

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  7. “Ah, good,” Svetlana says after Rozanov scores his second goal of the night. “Now we don’t have to fight.” “About what?” Shane asks. “One goal for you, one goal for me. But it will get tricky again if he does a hat trick." or injured Shane Hollander goes to watch Boston's game and meets Svetlana who is very nice. there is a lipstick mark on Rozanov's visor and it's fine. Shane does not overthink any of this and most definitely does not hope it was his lipmark there instead. he breaks his own heart a little bit before everything turns out alright. he goes home, though perhaps not the one you are thinking about.

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  8. Ilya Rozanov thinks it's probably best to decline the invitation to the 2017 All-Star Game. It's not swaggering, knothead alpha male bullshit; it's a survival strategy. He doesn't think it'll end well for anyone if he's forced into playing an instinct-driven, blood-pumping sport like ice hockey with Shane Hollander right now, not when Hollander is probably going to bring his new girlfriend to Tampa for the weekend.

    But it's Hollander. It's Shane. So of course Ilya doesn't decline the stupid invitation. And of course the game goes sideways.

    That doesn't mean it doesn't end well.

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  9. Breathe onto me by

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    2026-01-08

    “You can cry when I knot you though, because it will be that good.” Ilya smirks, grinding against him with purpose. Shane groans, keening his neck into the pillow at the mere thought of it. “You’d do that? For me?” A deep hum reverberates between them. “I’d do a lot of things for you, Hollander.” — aka Shane gets his heat early and someone refuses to stay away

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  10. Six months after the Olympic Games, Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov haven’t spoken a word to each other...and Shane Hollander is doing a terrible job of pretending he’s fine. With the NHL Awards looming and everything left unsaid hanging between them, one drunken night in Montreal spirals into an unexpected karaoke performance, and everything he’s buried comes spilling out in front of the one person he never stopped thinking about. For Ilya Rozanov, hearing Shane sing might be the moment that finally breaks the stalemate before the NHL Awards bring them back into each other’s orbit. Sometimes it only takes a song, a crowd, and one look across a room to realize that silence was never the same thing as moving on. OR: Between the Olympics and the NHL awards, Shane does drunk karaoke and pours his heart out, and Ilya sees the whole damn thing.

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  11. Ilya Rozanov hadn’t planned on getting a dog. It was the offseason, his life was already complicated, and the universe — according to his mother — was definitely keeping score. Shane Hollander definitely hadn’t planned on it either. He liked structure. Predictability. Things that didn’t bark, shed, or sprint toward chaos without warning. Or: Hollanov getting a dog!

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  12. Eva was Ilya and Shane’s miracle child, born prematurely in the summer of their third season together on the Centaurs. The moment they laid eyes on her in the NICU of The Ottawa Hospital was the moment they both felt their life truly had purpose. Eva was smaller than the other babies but already had a head of soft blonde curls. Her tiny hands would grip Shane’s fingers as Ilya sang Russian lullabies, their favorite pastime, and her big blue eyes would marvel at the world around her. She was kind and sweet and truly an angel, which is what made it so, so terrifying when she told them at 5 years old that she wanted to play hockey like papa and daddy. - A 5+1 of Ilya and Shane’s life as parents, through the lens of their daughter’s experiences with hockey.

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  13. Ilya hated that Shane noticed it as he had been hoping he distracted Shane enough to not notice that Ilya was in his own head again. Ilya felt like he should have known Shane would notice something was wrong because Shane always noticed everything about him like he noticed everything about Shane. Ilya let his hands trail along Shane's ribs and sighed as he looked at him before admitting "I don't want to go back to Boston, I want to stay here with you" softly. or Ilya tells Shane at the cottage he's tired of hiding and having to pretend he hates Shane for the media.

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  14. Scott [19:57]: I'm so sorry, but I can't. I hope you have a really nice time with your friends. Happy birthday.

    He wants to add I love you, because God knows that hasn't changed - won't change - but deletes it before sending.

    -
    bar scene aftermath, everyone has many feelings

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  15. Even If I Was by

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    2026-01-07

    Ilya somehow unstraps Shane’s helmet with one hand, pulling it off and doing the same with his own. Then, he grins, sharp and wolfish and handsome. “Scott Hunter has nothing on this,” He says, and surges forward.

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  16. Ilya dug deeper into the bag and pulled out a sturdy, leather dog collar, dark brown and buckled. Quick as a wink, he held it up, dangling it directly at Shane’s neck. "You make cute puppy. Shchenok Shane."

    Shane glared, his face heating up instantly, and slapped Ilya's hand away. "Stop it!"

    Ilya advanced closer, his stance casual, yet dominating. "I am serious. Consider this gift. It says, 'I belong to Ilya Rozanov.'... Come on. Put it on. Be my good boy."

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  17. Shane had made so much progress in the past year and a half. Between therapy and playing for Ottawa, he was in a much better place mentally. And yet. Yet, today, he felt like his body wasn’t his own, like his bones weren’t fit together quite right, like his muscle and flesh and all the bits underneath were just wrong. “It’s the,” he started again, squeezing his eyes shut to block out the knowing look in Ilya’s. “It’s the idea of putting it on my plate, in my mouth. It’s not good… For me.” Shane and Ilya host Christmas dinner for the first time, and Shane struggles with the sweet potato casserole. Takes place following the events of The Long Game

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  18. Subs don’t play in the MLH, but Shane Hollander will. (Or, Shane Hollander falls into subdrop at World Juniors. Ilya Rozanov brings him back.)

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  19. “It’s a mystery,” he added, quieter. “Small town one.” The silence stretched again, but it didn’t scrape at him the way it usually did. It just hovered, fragile. Shane waited for the joke. For the comment about it being boring or pretentious or a waste of time. He waited for the familiar sting. It didn’t come. Instead, Ilya nodded once, slow and deliberate, like that answer had settled something. “Okay,” he said. “I can do that.” or Shane and Ilya have spent months dancing around each other, teasing, competing, and sharing quiet, stolen moments. Between hockey practice, frat house chaos, and long nights watching Twin Peaks, the tension finally breaks—and neither of them can deny what’s been there all along.

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  20. The idea was simple: make Ilya wear a mic during practice, film it, let him be his entertaining self and get a viral post out of it. Harris should have gotten an easy win there. Instead he gets invested in his captain's latest lovers' quarrel and learns that athletes can be emotionally mature... kind of.

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