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  1. His entire body felt tense as the door was pushed open. He trained his eyes on the floor, monologuing before he could stop himself, “Just so you know, my buddies paid for this dance for me and I’m sure you’re very nice and very pretty and good at what you do but I’m actually gay so you can just- Do what you need to do but I don’t want you to be offended because I’m not as into this as you’re probably… usually…used to…” He trailed away as he looked up, and met the eyes of the very tall, very broad, very handsome man leaning against the doorframe. They stared at each other, and Shane blinked, struck dumb. Or, the night of JJ's bachelor party, Shane is forced into a lap dance he very much does not want. Until he does, and everything changes.

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  2. “Have you ever?” Shane glanced at him, as though looking at him for too long was too much of a temptation. “What?” “Violated your vows?” He watched his breath speed up. It would be imperceptible if Ilya wasn’t so focused on every detail of him. “No,” he said too quickly, so Ilya knew it was a lie. He leaned forward, so close that his chest brushed his shoulder. “You are a bad liar, Father.” Or, a sinner and a priest fall for each other in a house of God.

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  3. You look so pretty when you’re angry. Shane blinked, his insides pooling inside him, like hot wax inside the end of a candle. He glanced around at Rose and Miles, who were chattering loudly, paying him no mind. He hadn’t heard from him since he had left, or well, fled, his house that day. Shane had checked the thread between them more than once, just to see if maybe his phone was glitched, that he had sent him a message and it just didn’t make its way through. Shane’s traitorous heart thumped faster as he tapped on the message, half-hoping it was a mirage, some kind of delusion from one too many blows to the head. He was always met with the same two messages, the last ones before Shane had run, and everything had settled like a rock sinking into the calm surface of a lake. Or, Ilya drunk texts Shane.

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  4. “Have you ever fucked yourself all the way through after you’ve come?” he asked, his warm, broad frame taking up the entire expanse of Shane’s back, and Shane’s brain was already hazy with the heady feeling of Ilya all around him. “What?” he asked slowly, trying to force his brain to catch up with what Ilya was saying. “Just what I said,” Shane could feel Ilya’s hard cock at the base of his spine, “Have you kept going after you’ve come?” He tried to think, even as Ilya’s distracting mouth was on his neck again. His breath stuttered, but Ilya was persistent, “Tell me.” “I don’t-” he shook his head slightly, like his ears were filled with water, “I don’t think so.” Or, Ilya pushes Shane to his limit.

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  5. “You’re being difficult.” “I am not being difficult, Hollander, you are the one being difficult and annoying.” “I just don’t see what the big deal is,” Shane had his phone pressed between his ear and his shoulder as he moved around his kitchen, making breakfast, “It’s not like it’s some kind of classified information.” “Is just not important,” Ilya said evasively, and Shane could hear the sound of his fridge opening on the other end. “I think your birthday is very important,” Shane said stubbornly, setting his glass down a little harder than he meant to, so that it clacked against the countertop, “I don’t know why you’re acting like this about it.”

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  6. Shane had been looking at Ilya. He couldn’t stop thinking about it, like a pinball in his head, banging from corner to corner, and he couldn’t slow it down, even as he tried to focus on the game still taking place in front of him. “Rozanov!” he heard his name distantly. He was staring at the place where Shane had been, unconscious on the ice. He saw him when he closed his eyes, his crumpled figure, his stick clattering away from him. Him looking back at Ilya, not seeing Marly coming. Time slowing down, Ilya being too slow. He couldn’t get to him, couldn’t make a noise. He could only watch, watch the collision, watch Shane hit the ice like a ton of bricks. Or, Shane is looking at Ilya when he gets injured. And all Ilya can do is feel guilty.

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  7. He wanted to bury his face in the juncture between his neck and shoulder, to breathe in the smell of him, to touch his skin and give him everything that he could. He wanted to give to him until there was nothing left, until Shane had disappeared into him forever. “Look at me,” Ilya’s voice was quiet, but Shane obeyed immediately, his eyes fuzzy at the corners, “How are you feeling?” Shane intended to lie. There was no reason to complicate things with hard truths that not even he understood. Instead, his lip wobbled, and he found that he couldn’t say anything at all. “Ah,” Ilya made a noise that sounded nearly as devastated as Shane felt, and put a hand on the back of his neck, pulling him forward. Shane went easily, his forehead pressing into Ilya’s shoulder, and breathing deeply through his nose, trying not to cry. Or, Shane drops after leaving Ilya's house.

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  8. “Do you really need all these pins?” Shane asked, watching Ilya carefully select the fourth box back in the row, which apparently gave him more luck, “You’ve already gotten like five boxes.” “But I want the dog,” Ilya said, looking at Shane as though he was the one who had lost his mind. “You got a dog!” “No, I want this dog,” he tapped the box impatiently, “What is his name?” “Pluto,” Shane said automatically, “He was my favorite as a kid.” “See? That is one I want.”

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  9. MLH Star Shane Hollander Seen Entering Rose Landry’s Upper West Side Mansion: Are They On Again? Immediately, his stomach sank. He stared at the photo attached to the article; Rose embracing him, kissing his cheek, a wide smile on her face. It sure looked like they were back together. “They’re talking about us again,” Shane said, looking at his phone anxiously, “I didn’t mean to cause a big stir-” “Shane, they freak out when I walk down the street to the bodega,” Rose said, idly turning a page in her magazine, “It’s not that serious.”

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  10. “Did you see Rozanov get clocked by a fan outside?” JJ looked nothing short of delighted as he spread this news to the locker room after the game. Shane’s head snapped up. “What?” he couldn’t keep a note of panic out of his voice. Which was stupid, because he and Rozanov hadn’t spoken in months. Since Vegas. Not that Shane ever thought about Vegas. Or the texts that he hadn’t sent. Or anything like that.

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  11. It was a rare thing, for Shane and Ilya to have a Friday night off at the same time during the season.

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