141 – 154 of 154 Works in Depression
- Depression ×
-
you know this moment, don’t you? (time is strangely calm now) by barnes_romzanov
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2025-12-25
It’s dark, and Ilya’s not quite sure where he is. His entire body is numb. His shoes are soaking wet from trudging lazily through the snow. His nose is running, and his lips are chapped. Selfishly, he wishes Shane would fuss over him now. Pull him close, whisper “I forgive you” even though he shouldn’t, because Ilya would never change, because something inside him- in his family line, in his soul- was broken. Ilya wondered how long ago it had clicked- when Shane had realized that Ilya wormed his way into this country and tricked the Hollanders into caring for him, then returned the favor by botching their language and leaving a trail of mess in his wake. He still can't help but wonder if that will be part of his punishment- being doomed to miss him in death, too. or: Ilya’s mostly been able to cope with the fact that he’ll never be able to articulate himself fully in this country- but he’s also never been good at talking about feelings in the first place. "I'm tired" is the best he's got. It definitely doesn't capture what's going on in his head, and Shane can't read minds.
- Part 1 of Merry Christmas, Please Don't Call
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 15,440
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 3 versions
- AO3:
- #76389551
-
andante, andante (oh, please don’t let me down) by lovedays
Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
2025-12-24
It’s automatic, taking care of Anya like this. Despite the darkness in his head, and the pit resting in his ribs, Ilya manages to ground himself to her. Shane can be just as grounding, but it’s Anya that allows him to let his mind smooth out and focus on just about nothing. Because if Ilya thinks of Shane, the worst thoughts always return. OR, Ilya’s depression gets the better of him.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,140
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76296806
-
Still Waters by TheQueenoftheAbyss
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2025-12-24
“Ilya hasn’t been very well recently.” Shane swallowed, he hated saying that out loud, “Not for a long time actually.” ~ Ilya's depression is flat, still and cold like water, sometimes he thinks it might drown him. The Hollanders are here to help him float. (Or Ilya has a bad day, Yuna notices, and in the Hollander household love and support are given by force.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,024
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76331606
-
Shane Hollander loses a game. He can’t lose a game. He can’t speak. He can’t think. Ilya takes care of him.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,947
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 2 versions
- AO3:
- #76249506
-
a thrill of hope, a weary man rejoices by honeybeebeeeight
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2025-12-21
Christmas had never really been a joyous time of year for Ilya Rozanov. This year is his first Christmas with the Hollander family and, despite his best efforts, he finds himself struggling. The Hollander's help in their own quiet way. or, on a frozen pond outside of the Hollander home, Ilya allows himself to be loved.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,755
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76111546
-
I don’t know why. by TheQueenoftheAbyss
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2025-12-21
When Ilya’s depression rears its ugly head in a new way Shane is there to catch him as he falls. Because everyone deserves a Shane to catch them. !Ep 6/ The Long game spoilers! (Sort of)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,579
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76165306
-
a kiss, a cry, our rights, our wrongs by livelyvague
Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
2025-12-20
Ilya should reply, say good morning to his lovely husband. He should rise and kiss the beautiful man, pet their dog, make breakfast and brew a fresh pot of coffee for the two of them. An idyllic little morning laid out in front him, but Ilya can't stomach it. The pillows are soft and the blankets are warm and he is too, too sad to do much of anything. or, Ilya's depression gets the best of him during their Holiday break off
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,096
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76071661
-
we haven't spoke (since you went away) by beyondinfinity
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2025-12-17
Ilya was down again. This happened every year, every month even - Shane knew this. He expected it. Sometimes, he saw it coming beforehand. He’d notice a vacant look in Ilya’s eyes, dishes left unwashed, little lapses in Ilya’s daily routine that most people would brush aside but that Shane knew meant he’d need to be a little more “on” than he normally was. Sometimes, though, Shane didn’t see it coming. Sometimes, out of nowhere, he’d interact with Ilya and Ilya would just be - well, he’d be there, but he’d be gone. Yuna and David are in Moscow when they stumble upon Ilya's mother's grave.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,910
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #75909786
-
i'll miss them (but i'm not sorry) by blueghost4
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2025-12-16
Ilya Rozanov didn’t want to die. He would have to feel alive to want the alternative. What he was doing wasn’t living, it was surviving. He was surviving the same day on repeat like an extra cruel version of Groundhog Day. He knew it was getting bad. He knew the thoughts he tried so hard to bury were only getting louder. And there was nothing he could do to stop it. or; Ilya’s depression was getting worse, but luckily, he’s not as alone as he feels.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,081
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #75761771
-
you haven't come this far to fall off the earth by canadianwolfbird
Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2025-11-17
It’s not that Ilya wants the darkness to win; it’s just that sometimes he lets it.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,039
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #74294536
-
hey there, baby, I could use just a little help by Anonymous
Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2025-07-02
Days like today, Ilya's heart felt heavy. Like there was a dense paperweight or heavy stone pressing down on it. Deep in his gut, it felt like a tender bruise, so far inside that he couldn’t reach it, but its presence was powerful. It was the emotional equivalent of how his body felt after the playoffs, totally beaten down and sore everywhere. It was a deeply permeating sense of despair.
quick little Ilya depression fic, with comfort from his caring husband.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,192
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #67114021
-
Five Times Ilya comforted Shane + One Time Shane comforted Ilya
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 12,019
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #65252503
-
Shane and Ilya enjoy their first wedding anniversary together after a tough (but successful) first season playing together
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,938
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #60349000
-
Ilya Rozanov Gets Railed by Anonymous
Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
2023-04-23
“You didn’t like it the last time we tried it,” Shane said.
Ilya gave a one-shouldered shrug. “Was years ago. Maybe it is an acquired taste, like licorice.”
“You also don’t like licorice,” Shane pointed out.
“Yes, but I keep trying it because Luca likes it so much.”
“And then you make a face and tell him how awful it is.”
“When have I ever told you your dick is awful?” Ilya said, looking mildly offended. “I am its number one fan.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,709
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 2 versions
- AO3:
- #46118071
- ← Previous
- 1
- …
- 6
- 7
- 8