301 – 320 of 328 Works in Crack Treated Seriously

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  1. Crowell Mandated Hockey Coaching by

    Heated Rivalry (TV)
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    2026-01-04

    Rachel! @redordead went to try and live my wag dreams at my boyfriends hockey games and it ended up with his coaches in a punch up??? is this normal??? Replying to @redordead @redordead the other teams coach insulted one of my boyfriends coaches and the blonde one tried to hit him i am so confused Replying to @redordead @redordead ok ive done some googling apparently the blonde one is some russian guy and the other is a cutie patootie named shane or Shane and Ilya coach the McGill Men's Hockey Team and everyone online is totally normal about it.

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    1
    AO3:
    #77052751

  2. The Gloves are Off by

    Heated Rivalry (TV)
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    2026-01-04

    Shane Hollander was an incredible hockey player. His shot accuracy was legendary. He was a fantastic strategist and play caller. He, despite Ilya's insistence otherwise, was one of the fastest on the ice. Still, none of that was what made Shane great. What made him great was how he cared. Shane would do anything for his team - including get his hands a little dirty. OR Shane Hollander can be bad, too. Five times Shane's gloves come off on the ice.

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    1
    AO3:
    #76882946

  3. toil and trouble by

    Heated Rivalry (TV)
    • E
    • ✓

    2026-01-04

    “Wow,” Ilya snickers. “Not even Golden Boy Hollander is safe from the pussy curse, huh?” “Do not call it that.” Ilya crosses his arms and looks at Shane like he’s being stupid. It’s a frustratingly familiar look. “It is a curse that gives a pussy. Pussy curse. It’s not that bad of curse, actually.” Or; Someone commissions a witch to curse Shane with a vagina. It’s a flagrant violation of MLH rules, but Ilya’s always been good at making lemonade out of lemons.

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    Files:
    2 versions
    AO3:
    #77073321

  4. ilyuca81 (otherwise known as lucarozanov) by

    Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
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    2026-01-04

    lucarozanov if shane hollander gets mad at me reading about him getting blasted in the ass then he can check his bank account. i know ilya would be chill with it though Luca Haas tries very hard to not let anyone know about his dark (read: embarrassing) past. Unfortunately, the fans are ready to let people know for him. Or, Luca used to run a tumblr blog for Hollanov and the internet goes wild.

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    Files:
    4 versions
    AO3:
    #77062016

  5. The Best Game You Can Name (the good ol’ hockey game) by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
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    2026-01-03

    “Why would anyone want to mic you up, Hollander?” Ilya asked, getting down to his knees next to Shane to join him in his stretches. “All they will hear is you discussing boring statistics and complaining how I am so much more talented than you.” ___ Or, Shane and Ilya on the ice, over the years

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    2 versions
    AO3:
    #77033366

  6. (never) meet your heroes by

    Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
    • ✓

    2026-01-03

    Troy: How many women have you slept with anyways?
    Ilya: ♾️
    Luca: That’s just an infinity symbol
    Ilya: Yes

    In which internet discourse ensues, the gay players of the NHL bicker in the group chat, and Shane would just like to get through the weekend without his husband starting another twitter scandal.

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    AO3:
    #76943556

  7. love in the time of AO3 metrics by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
    • G
    • ✓

    2026-01-03

    Ilya Rozanov has exactly one problem with his secret relationship with Shane Hollander: Scott Hunter has more fanfiction than them. The solution is obvious. They’ll just have to make the internet ship them harder. What could possibly go wrong? Or in which two NHL players discover AO3, decide to manipulate their public image to generate more fanfiction, and not so accidentally come out in the process. Featuring: competitive nonsense, live television mishaps, and one very distressed Scott Hunter. Ilya is sprawling across Shane’s ridiculously expensive couch in Montreal when he discovers the betrayal. “Shane,” he says, and his voice has that particular quality that makes Shane look up immediately from where he’s chopping vegetables in the kitchen. It’s the tone that means Ilya has found something on the internet that will derail their entire evening. “No,” Shane says preemptively. “You do not even know what I am saying.” “I know that tone.” Shane points the knife at him, then seems to remember that’s probably not safe and puts it down. “That’s your ‘I found something online and now I’m going to be weird about it’ tone.” “I am never weird.” “You spent three hours last Tuesday looking up whether penguins could be gay.” “They can be! Was important research.” Ilya sits up, phone clutched in his hand like evidence. “But this is different. This is serious.” Shane wipes his hands on a towel and comes around the kitchen island. He’s barefoot, wearing joggers and one of Ilya’s new Centaurs hoodies that he definitely stole, and Ilya’s heart does something complicated in his chest. It’s been nine years and Shane still makes him feel like he’s seventeen and discovering what want means. “What is it?” Shane asks, softer now, because he can probably see something in Ilya’s face. “Scott Hunter has more fics than us on AO3.” Shane blinks. “What?” “Scott. Hunter.” Ilya enunciates each word with deep offense. “Has more fanfiction than Hollanov.” “Hollanov?” “Is our ship name. Keep up.” Ilya scrolls aggressively through his phone. “Look. Scott Hunter/Kip Grady has one thousand two hundred thirty-seven fics. Ilya Rozanov/Shane Hollander has nine hundred and eighty-three.” Shane stares at him. “You counted?” “AO3 counts for you. Is right there.” Ilya gestures at his screen. “And is bullshit. We are much better love story than Scott and his little smoothie boyfriend.” “His name is Kip, and they’re cute together.” “We are CUTER.” “Ilya-” “No, listen.” Ilya stands up, pacing now, phone still clutched in his hand. “We are generational talents. Best rivalry in hockey right now. Everyone says. The media, they love us. ‘Rozanov versus Hollander, the new Crosby and Ovechkin,’ they say. We have drama. We have passion.” “We have to keep it secret or we’ll destroy our careers and possibly get death threats,” Shane points out. “Details.” Ilya waves this away. “Point is, we are interesting! Scott Hunter is old and boring-” “He’s thirty-one-” “ANCIENT. And he is with normal guy who makes smoothies! Where is intrigue? Where is fire?” Ilya spins to face Shane, eyes bright with the particular intensity that means he’s gotten an idea, and those are always dangerous. “We should have more fics.” Shane crosses his arms, and oh, Ilya knows that posture. That’s Shane’s ‘I’m going to be reasonable and you’re going to hate it’ posture. “We can’t have more fics because people don’t know we’re together. Because we’re not out. Because it’s complicated.” “Maybe is too complicated.” “Ilya-” “Maybe we should make people suspect.” Ilya’s grin is sharp and reckless. “Nothing confirmed. Just … little things. Hints. Enough for people to write about.” “You want to bait fanfic writers into shipping us more?” “I want to beat Scott fucking Hunter, yes.” Shane’s mouth twitches. He’s trying not to smile, which means Ilya is already winning. “You know this is insane, right?” “You love when I am insane.” “I really don’t.” “You love me.” Shane’s face softens, the way it only does when they’re alone like this, when the walls come down and he stops being Shane Hollander, Canadian Golden Boy, and becomes just Shane. Just his. “Yeah,” he says quietly. “I really do.” Ilya closes the distance between them, and reaches down to cup Shane’s face. Ilya is four inches taller, which Shane will deny matters until his dying breath, but right now it means

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    Files:
    2 versions
    AO3:
    #77028326

  8. Shane Hollander vs. the Power of Friendship by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
    • T
    • ✓

    2026-01-02

    Shane gets added to the Ottawa Centaurs WAG group chat and gets the support network he didn't know he needed.

    Language:
    English
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    Chapters:
    1/1
    Files:
    1
    AO3:
    #76936486

  9. Add new contact to phone? by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
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    • ✓

    2026-01-01

    Scott gets messages from an unknown number.
    It ends up being someone much more known to him than he thought

    Language:
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    Files:
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    AO3:
    #76848341

  10. 10 Reasons Why Fans Think Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov are in a Secret Relationship by ,

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
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    2025-12-31

    Fans on social media have their suspicions that the hockey stars are more than just rivals. Are hockey's most infamous rivals secretly in love or is this just another outrageous fandom theory? An in-universe Buzzfeed article on the #Hollanov rumors sweeping social media.

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    AO3:
    #76794296

  11. Jitterbug by

    Heated Rivalry (TV)
    • E
    • ✓

    2025-12-30

    Footsteps come running over, Shane grasping at Ilya’s face, his shoulders, worry in his eyes as he looks him up and down as if making sure he’s okay. “What is it? What happened?” “There’s a fucking creature on your mirror, Hollander,” Ilya tells him, gesturing far wider than he needs to. “This big. Is enormous.” “It can’t be that big,” he mutters, then he opens the door, and starts laughing. “Oh my god.” “Close the door, Shane, we can’t let it out!” “What?” Shane opens the door even wider, the creature now fully visible in the light. It’s just as terrifying from far away, the eye spots making Ilya feel like it’s staring at him. It sees into his soul—it’s going to come for Ilya in the night and crawl all over him. Disgusting. “It’s just a moth, Ilya.” A bug has entered the cottage. Shane is totally cool about it. Ilya is not. Summer is peaceful, quiet. At least, this one is. Ilya’s never had a particularly quiet summer before—always home in Russia tending to his toxic family, taking care of his father, drinking away the time. Here, at the cottage, with Shane, he’s finally content with his life, and how impossibly boring it’s become. Moments like this, where he and Shane are in bed together, naked and sex drunk, make him realize all his suffering was worth it. Well, maybe not entirely worth it, but it didn’t amount to nothing. He’s not trapped in Moscow mourning his awful father or constantly fighting his brother, he’s home, safe, with a boyfriend he loves and a life planned together he thinks will be all too worth living. Now he’s kissing Shane, the Metros’ captain straddling his hips as they kiss slowly, lazily, almost casually, like they can take their time. They have all summer, after all, maybe they can take their time. Shane tastes like warmth and lake water, and he knows they showered after their latest swim, but it still lingers on his tongue. Tilting his head back, he allows Shane to drag his kisses onto his neck, tugging the skin between his teeth as he sucks a bruise there. Since no one will be seeing him in the coming weeks, Ilya figures one little hickey is harmless. Well… maybe there are several between the two of them. A soft moan parts his lips, his lover’s name on his tongue as he buries his face in Shane’s hair. It’s a little longer now toward the middle-end of summer, but it’s still soft and smells of Shane so Ilya loves it. He especially loves it when he tugs on those dark locks, earning a soft little whimper from his boyfriend. His boyfriend. It still feels surreal to think that after all this time, after all the pining and heartache and hoping beyond hope that this is real, that Shane loves him, too. Sometimes, Ilya thinks he might be the luckiest man in the world… if only their circumstances weren’t so unlucky. If only they could actually, properly, publicly be together, but they can’t. It’ll be years before Ilya can kiss him in the daylight, but that’s a problem for future Shane and Ilya. Present day Ilya is currently enjoying a hickey, and plans to return the favor momentarily. As Shane kisses his handiwork, Ilya flips them over, attacking his boyfriend with a series of kisses that leave him laughing breathlessly. The sound makes him feel euphoric—it also makes him hard. He feels like he could go another round, though they’ve already had sex twice that evening, but from the whimpers coming from Shane and the wetness he feels against his belly, Ilya doesn’t think he’d mind. “Already hard for me, Hollander?” “Fuck you,” Shane grumbles, but he doesn’t protest as one of Ilya’s hands reaches between them, gently stroking his cock. “Oh, fuck.” Ilya grins against his boyfriend’s lips as he swipes a bead of precome over Shane’s tip, using it to stroke him in earnest, both of them panting slightly. Shane’s cock is soft to the touch, even though he’s painfully hard. The good thing about Shane coming so quickly, is he always comes back just as fast. Stroking him a little bit faster, Ilya plants kisses along the edge of Shane’s jaw, breathing in the scent of him as his rival begins to pant a little harder, a soft moan leaving him a moment later. “Oh fuck, Ilya,” he whimpers, head arching back into the pillow. “Fuck…” He spits into his hand, then resumes stroking him, going at a swift pace as Shane becomes a mess beneath him. There’s still come on his belly from earlier, and already, Ilya can tell there will be more soon. “You like that?” he asks, then he kisses Shane before he can answer, the response cut off as a moan into his mouth. Clearly, Shane does like it. He likes it so much his hips buck into the touch, his body leaning into Ilya’s, like he craves him. Ilya runs his thumb over Shane’s slit, earning himself another drawn out moan. “Oh god, Ilya,” he breathes. “I’m gonna—fuck—I’m gonna come.” “Come for me, Shane,” Ilya tells him, kissing his jaw again as he strokes him a little faster. “Come for me.” And he does. Shane comes apart with a sharp cry, oversensitive and overstimulated, and he spills all over Ilya’s hand, over his own stomach, onto Ilya’s chest. He kisses him after, rolling on top of Ilya so that he can kiss him deeply, hands wound tight in his hair as he shivers through the aftermath. “I love you,” Shane whispers, and it’s the fifth time he’s said it today alone, almost like he can’t get enough. “I love you, too.” Ilya moans as Shane kisses him again, the two of them grinning as they rest their foreheads together. “I should clean you off.” “What a gentleman.” Smacking him lightly on the chest, Ilya pushes Shane off of him, making his way into the bathroom as the other man wolf whistles behind him. Eyes rolling, Ilya flicks on the bathroom light, ready to grab a wash cloth for Shane, but he immediately screams instead when he sees what’s sitting on the mirror. Right in front of him on the reflective glass, is the biggest bug he’s ever seen. Its wingspan is enormous, easily seven or eight centimeters, brown and black coloring the edges of said wings, with two little black and white eyespots on the corners. Ilya runs back out of the bathroom as soon as he sees it, the towel forgotten in the name of running from the nasty ass bug that’s made Shane’s bathroom its temporary home. Ilya has seen bugs before, seen cockroaches in Moscow and Boston, seen spiders and butterflies and beetles, but none of them have been this fucking big. This is easily, by far, the

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    AO3:
    #76722921

  12. ilya rozanov: ragebaiter supreme by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
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    2025-12-29

    It seems Ilya fucking Rozanov adheres to a daily schedule of tomfoolery. He’s always finding ways to irritate Shane with the stupidest shit. or, Ilya ragebaits Shane as a form of flirting. Somehow it works.

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    AO3:
    #76669636

  13. The MILF Theory (And Why the Internet Got It Wrong) by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
    • G
    • ✓

    2025-12-29

    The internet has decided that Ilya Rozanov is absolutely, definitely, 100% banging a Hollander. They’ve got photo evidence. Multiple sightings. Instagram stories from the same café. The man stayed OVERNIGHT at the Hollander residence. It’s the most legendary power move in NHL history: seduce your rival’s hot mom to assert dominance. There’s just one tiny problem with this theory. Ilya’s fucking a Hollander, all right. Just … not that one. Or in which Ilya’s boyfriend's mother keeps adopting him, the internet keeps assuming the worst, and Shane Hollander is having the worst month of his entire life. At least until he does something that breaks hockey forever. Translation into 中文-普通话 國語 available: 【授翻】香草妈妈理论（已完结） by 3Liquids Translation into Русский available: Это не то, что вы думаете! by dramione_must_reads r/hockey Posted by u/puckedup247 • 3h ago Okay what the FUCK is going on with Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander’s mom??? So I was at this charity thing in Ottawa yesterday (my aunt volunteers) and I literally saw Ilya Rozanov having brunch with Yuna Hollander. Just the two of them. At this cozy little place on Elgin Street. And like … they seemed REALLY comfortable with each other??? She kept touching his arm and laughing and he was doing that thing where he leans in all close when he talks. I took a pic but it’s blurry as hell (sorry, was trying to be subtle). Am I insane or is this weird??? Why would Rozanov be hanging out with his RIVAL’S MOM??? [Blurry photo of a curly-haired man in a leather jacket sitting across from an elegant woman with long black hair at a café table] 2.4k comments u/hockeyfan_617 819 points • 3h ago oh my fucking god u/BearsNation96 723 points • 3h ago LMAOOOOO this is the most alpha shit I’ve ever seen. Rozanov is literally fucking with Hollander by dating his mom. I’m fucking DECEASED 💀💀💀 u/VoyageursForever 651 points • 2h ago This cannot be real. This CANNOT be real. I refuse to believe this is happening. u/CheckingForHockey 589 points • 2h ago Guys, there’s probably a totally innocent explanation for- Actually no, I got nothing. This is wild. u/PuckSlut420 512 points • 2h ago okay but can we acknowledge that Yuna Hollander is like 52 and looks like THAT? I’d shoot my shot too tbh u/BearsNation96 301 points • 2h ago Right??? Total rocket. Rozanov’s got taste. u/MontrealMadness 445 points • 2h ago Shane Hollander is somewhere having a complete fucking meltdown right now and I wish I could see it u/hockeyinsider99 398 points • 2h ago This is the most elaborate mindfuck in NHL history. Rozanov saw “fuck the Voyageurs” and said “okay, specifically the mother of their first line center“ LILY: Someone on reddit has picture of me and your mama at brunch LILY: Is very blurry but still LILY: People think I am fucking her 😂😂😂 JANE: WHAT JANE: WHAT THE FUCK JANE: ILYA LILY: Is very funny! LILY: They think I do this to mess with you LILY: Like psychological warfare JANE: This is NOT funny JANE: People think you’re SLEEPING WITH MY MOTHER LILY: I know!!! 😂😂😂 LILY: Is hilarious JANE: ILYA. LILY: Shane, relax LILY: Your mama thinks is funny too LILY: She send me the reddit link JANE: oh my god JANE: oh my GOD

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    2 versions
    AO3:
    #76676306

  14. Shane Hollander buys a new cottage! by

    Heated Rivalry (TV)
    • G
    • ?
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    2025-12-26

    Lily: hollander this is a broken shack in the middle of the woods Jane: Listen. I think I got scammed. Lily: you THINK? in order to get some more privacy, shane looks into other cottage ideas.

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    AO3:
    #76440236

  15. measure of a man by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
    • M
    • ✓

    2025-12-26

    “Nine.” Her voice is flat with disbelief. “Rose.” He drags a hand over his face. “Nine. Like—inches? No metric nonsense? God, I kind of wish it was metric nonsense. That can’t be right.” [or: that fuckin text, the aftermath]

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    1,252
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    2 versions
    AO3:
    #76442296

  16. Thought I had it right, once, twice (but I did not) by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
    • T
    • ✓

    2025-12-26

    About three minutes ago Shane had smacked his phone down on the bed with too much force. It had tumbled off, landing screen up next to Hayden’s bed. A picture of Ilya Rozanov’s dick taking up half of the screen. Shane had to watch in horror how his best friend picked up the phone, barely glanced at it and then almost dropped it after a second look.

    So he had blurted out the first excuse that came to mind, which was ‘I think I’m gay but I’m not sure’. That had made Hayden disregard the picture completely. Instead of asking whose dick it was, he had told Shane to kiss him.

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    AO3:
    #76436051

  17. When Life Gives You Tattoos by

    Heated Rivalry (TV)
    • T
    • ✓

    2025-12-24

    The third realization hit him when he finally blinked open his eyes to investigate the cause of his misery. He did a double-take because… well, he was pretty sure he didn’t have a tattoo last night. Especially not one that read the name of his long-time rival and secret fuck buddy. Ilya Rozanov. Shane blinked. What the fuck. Shane wakes up with Rozanov's name tattooed on his wrist one morning. It only gets worse from there.

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    AO3:
    #76293276

  18. In Dissonance by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
    • T
    • ✓

    2025-12-24

    Even Ilya fucking Rozanov was going to know Shane was okay before the girl Shane had been seeing for years. Hayden couldn’t let that happen. So he lifted Shane’s phone again, scrolled through his contacts, and found Lily’s name. The line began to ring. Rozanov stiffened where he stood at the hospital counter, then he pulled out his phone. Weird. or High on pain meds after his injury, Shane entrusts his phone to Hayden to answer his texts and tell everyone he's okay. Hayden realizes that no one else would have called Lily, because no one else knows she even exists.

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    3 versions
    AO3:
    #76348856

  19. Sweat, Baby, Sweat by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
    • E
    • ✓

    2025-12-23

    Shane fled the ice. Maybe he had just imagined– As he stumbled down the tunnel, he wedged a hand into his skin tight hockey gear, gathered some of the wetness and brought it to his nose. The scent was obvious: his heat had started.

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    1
    AO3:
    #76287786

  20. I like the way you wear that smile (is it for me, is it for me?) by

    Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
    • E
    • ✓

    2025-12-23

    Ilya has a thing about Shane in his glasses. Or 5 times Ilya tells Shane to put his glasses on, one time Shane says no, and one time Ilya takes them off him instead.

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    English
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    Files:
    2 versions
    AO3:
    #76248506
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