21 – 29 of 29 Works in Childhood Trauma
- Childhood Trauma ×
-
He’s already in the room, shutting the door behind himself as quietly as he can before he realises that not only is there someone other than Shane in the room, but there are three someones other than Shane. And, as if he hasn’t already fucked up spectacularly, the someones happen to be the Hollanders and Hayden fucking Pike. // or; Ilya visits Shane in the hospital and meets his parents. He's traumatized and grieving, everything hurts, and Shane takes after his mother.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 12,398
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 4 versions
- AO3:
- #77650301
-
Ilya knew sadness could kill, and it could do it quietly like it took his mother. So he stayed charming, desirable, and useful. He never asked for reassurance, didn’t get needy. He would never admit he needed Shane. Right?
- Part 3 of Amiera's Hollanov
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,586
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #77567096
-
in this life and the next by lisa6
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-01-11
“Why do you think it’s the same person every time?” Ilya asked, smiling. His phone disappeared back in his jeans pocket. “I’m hot. Lots of women want me to fuck them.” Svetlana leaned in close to his ear. “And men?” Or: ever since they were children, Svetlana Vetrova has always been there for Ilya Rozanov, her best friend in the world.
- Part 2 of
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,178
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 2 versions
- AO3:
- #77462976
-
"Wait till you have kids that behave just like you. But I did. I did have kids that are just like me. And I realized how easy it was to love me" Ilya and Shane have a son. Ilya realizes that loving him is the easiest thing he's ever done.
- Part 2 of Neurodivergent Hollanov Family
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,306
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #77122411
-
I can watch the old days, she was beautiful then by harperose
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-01-04
So he followed Ilya. He followed Ilya into the living room. And then, he waited. Waited for Ilya to collapse onto the couch and do nothing- to stare at nothing. Something that he had been doing more and more recently. Waited for Ilya to pull out his phone and facetime whoever he was fucking when Shane left Canada. Waited for Ilya to pull out a secret bottle of vodka and down nearly the whole thing. (Waited for Ilya to pull out a bottle of pills and accidentally take one too many.) But Ilya didn’t do any of those things. Instead, he moved towards the shelf filled with DVDs and movies from Ilya's childhood that were still trapped in VHS. It was nighttime, they were supposed to be sleeping. But they were both awake, Shane knew they were. But Ilya didn’t. Ilya probably thought he was the only one awake– something that Shane let him believe by keeping his eyes shut, his breathing even… And by resisting the urge to reach out, to part his lips and ask where his boyfriend was going tonight– what his boyfriend would do tonight. After vodka and sex, Ilya shouldn’t be doing anything other than sleeping. Normally, he would be dead to the world and Shane would once again feel like he was sleeping next to a corpse. A corpse that, every once in a while, let out a deep snore that sounded more and more like a snort of laughter every time he had the pleasure of hearing it. The mattress underneath them shifted thanks to Ilya’s sudden movement. Movement that he only made when he was certain that his bed companion was asleep. Shane wasn’t sure if he should be thankful or not that Ilya’s test for tonight to see if he was awake or not was just gently whispering his name into the darkness. Because he enjoyed the small kisses that ilya would press to the back of his neck or whatever part of him he could easily reach without risking the mattress moving too much and risking rousing Shane. Shane, who Ilya thought was sleeping when he didn’t even twitch after a few kisses that normally he would find irresistible. But tonight, there were no kisses. There was only a call of his name. Maybe that was a good thing though. After all, if Ilya began pressing kisses to his skin again, Shane doubted he would be able to ignore them. Not after what happened tonight– definitely not after what happened tonight. So, Ilya only called his name softly. And when he didn’t reply, he began moving. Moving out of the bed– away from Shane. And towards wherever he had been going at night. A place where Shane would discover– he was brave enough to discover after lacking the courage the previous nights. Suddenly, the bed stopped moving. Ilya had finally completed his mission and slipped out of it. But Shane would not follow suit. Not until he was certain the other man was no longer in the bedroom. He only had to wait a few seconds for that to happen– to Ilya to leave him all alone in the bed in the home they were building together. Shane’s eyes fluttered open, watching Ilya retreating back as he crept down the hallway. And then, when it was safe to do so, he followed his partner who didn’t really feel like the partner he had committed his loyalty and life to all those years ago. Because Ilya was being secretive again– just like he had been before they decided to be together. Really be together . Normally, Ilya would open up. Or, well, the new Ilya would open up… eventually. But it seemed like Ilya had reverted back to his past self that was riddled with secrets and avoidance. And well Shane… Shane was worried. About so many things– and all of them had to do with Ilya recently. So he had to know– know something that he knew would cause him to feel guilt about what he found out. Because, in a way, it felt like he was betraying Ilya– betraying his trust to spy on him and uncover a secret that years ago he wouldn’t even attempt to uncover. But that was years ago. And now things were different. So many things had changed– so many things had come to light. And Shane needed to know. He needed to lessen the ever growing knot of unease in his stomach. So he followed Ilya. He followed Ilya into the living room. And then, he waited. Waited for Ilya to collapse onto the couch and do nothing- to stare at nothing. Something that he had been doing more and more recently. Waited for Ilya to pull out his phone and facetime whoever he was fucking when Shane left Canada. Waited for Ilya to pull out a secret bottle of vodka and down nearly the whole thing. (Waited for Ilya to pull out a bottle of pills and accidentally take one too many.) But Ilya didn’t do any of those things. Instead, he moved towards the shelf filled with DVDs and movies from Ilya's childhood that were still trapped in VHS. A furrow appeared in Shane's brow as he watched Ilya pick out an old VHS he had teasingly suggested upgrading to a DVD so many times before. And that furrow only deepened, just for a moment before it ruptured with silent understanding, when Ilya forced the television screen to come alive with that old movie. A movie that Shane knew wasn't supposed to be this. Because this… This wasn't a mainstream movie that made its way onto VHS and trapped inside that case. This was something else.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,695
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 2 versions
- AO3:
- #77073996
-
The Weight of the Quiet by DamnSterek
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2026-01-02
WARNING: the Long Game spoilers WARNING: Depression and (passive) suicidal themes Ilya navigates grief, isolation, and the weight of holding himself together, until he learns to let himself be supported when he can’t hold everything together alone.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,878
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76900701
-
“Once upon a time,” Ilya couldn’t believe he was actually doing this, “an old man and his wife had no bread. They scraped the last flour from the corners of their house and made a round bun. And they called him Kolobok.” “Kolo—” “Ko-lo-bok,” Ilya repeated. “It sounds cute,” Shane said. “Can I call you that?” “Only after I retire and gain weight,” Ilya said.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,390
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76874051
-
Ilya is hurt- and stubborn- refusing medication even though he's clearly miserable. Shane is trying to be a good husband. Then he learns about the woman who would've been his mother- in-law, and things fall into place.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,373
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76711821
-
Three Rooms: The Hospital by Pennandreamer
Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
2025-12-22
Shane is off his face on morphine. Ilya has no such luck. What if...free of his normal filter, Shane lets loose what he really wants to do at the cottage. What if...Ilya is really into that. Ilya has his heart carved out with a rusty spoon because Shane is sooo adorable in this hospital room.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,658
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Files:
- 1
- AO3:
- #76196471
- ← Previous
- 1
- 2