Hollanov from the Outside

Works:
10
Complete:
Yes
Words:
57,715
  1. Rose knows hockey. She knows the game, she knows the players. So when Shane tells her he’s starting a charity with Ilya Rozanov of all people, she has questions.

    Or: Shane tells Rose about him and Ilya.

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  2. “So,” Cliff starts. “Ottawa.”

    “Ottawa,” Roz repeats, and the way he says it, half-amused, half-quizzical, gives Cliff nothing.

    “It’s not Montreal.”

    Roz looks offended. “Why would I go to fucking Montreal?”

    Cliff shrugs, going for casual. “Montreal Girl? I thought, you know, if you ever go to Canada…”

    Roz scoffs. “You and Montreal girl. You say I am obsessed with her, but is you who always talks about her.”

    “Yeah, because you’re always texting her!”

    “Well, I like to get laid.”

    And there’s Cliff’s opening.

    Or: Cliff has been suspecting that Roz moved to Ottawa for his Montreal girl for a while now. And tonight, they’re going to go out for drinks and he’s finally going to get some answers. Not even two overeager rookies are going to stop him. Except things don’t quite go as Cliff planned and Jane from Montreal is not what he expected.

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  3. “Ilya, you’re playing the Voyageurs next, in Montreal. How are you feeling about that?” An ESPN mic is held to his face.

    Rozanov grins. “Really good. About time. I know we have been winning a lot, but is always the most fun to beat Montreal.”

    “The situation’s kind of changed though, hasn’t it?”

    “Is true.” Rozanov looks almost thoughtful. “It used to be the most fun to beat them because they had the best player on their team. Now…” Rozanov trails off. He chances a look to the side, as if to check if someone’s there or not. “Now is going to be fun because they are very stupid.” Rozanov’s face is very hard. Serious. Angry. Scary.

    Or: Signing with the Montreal Voyageurs should have been the best day in Jordan Bicker’s career. If only it weren’t for Ilya Rozanov…

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  4. Dykstra comes over and claps Luca on his other shoulder. “No need to feel weird. Tiger stripes, yeah?”

    “Tiger stripes?” Roz repeats.

    Dykstra nods. “Yeah, learned that from my wife when she was pregnant with Suzie. You know, because they show she survived the battle of being pregnant and all that.”

    Or: The Centaurs have been debating for a while whether the great playboy Ilya Rozanov moved to Ottawa for love. After a locker room conversation about tiger stripes, Wyatt is pretty sure Roz has his own tiger stripes woman. Or, well, maybe rather a tiger stripes person.

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  5. There’s a very attractive guy trying to go through Nicole’s customs booth at the airport. Unfortunately, he doesn’t have his passport. Nicole would be annoyed, but the guy is very charming, and it turns out, somehow, his husband has his passport. His husband, who is Canadian hockey Jesus Shane Hollander. Things are never boring at work.

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  6. "U-haul lesbian?” Scott parotted. He was getting too old to keep up with all these new terms. “You own gay sports bar, yes?” Ilya was looking at him like he was an idiot again, “isn’t that where all the lesbians go? Shouldn’t you know these things?” Scott opened his mouth to reply but it was quickly intercepted by a yelp when a foot caught him sharply in the shin. “Shit sorry!” Shane bolted upright looking more alert than he had in the last 30 minutes, “I meant to kick Ilya”. He then kicked Ilya under the table,

    • Part 1 of
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  7. Hayden nods slowly. “Are you on, like, any dating apps?” “What?” Shane asks, half a laugh, as if the idea of an attractive guy in his early twenties being on Tinder was completely absurd. Is he not getting laid? Like, ever? Or: Hayden finds out about Lily.

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  8. A few days before Shane’s seventeenth birthday, he told his parents he’d broken up with Elise. “It just didn’t work out,” Shane said, not really looking at either of them; instead, he was staring at the TV, obviously not really watching the hockey game he’d put on. There was a faint rosy tint to his cheeks. Or: in which Yuna and David try to figure out what's going on with their son through the years while trying to be good, supportive, non-overbearing parents.

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  9. “Why do you think it’s the same person every time?” Ilya asked, smiling. His phone disappeared back in his jeans pocket. “I’m hot. Lots of women want me to fuck them.” Svetlana leaned in close to his ear. “And men?” Or: ever since they were children, Svetlana Vetrova has always been there for Ilya Rozanov, her best friend in the world.

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  10. “You can stay as long as you want,” he responded. Svetlana wondered how much of that statement was Canadian courtesy. Or: Svetlana finally gets to meet Ilya's boyfriend.

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