261 – 276 of 276 Works in Ilya Rozanov is a Menace

  • Ilya Rozanov is a Menace ×
  1. Lily: Describe my dick to him. Jane: Excuse you?

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  2. Yuna Hollander, for whatever reason, and David Hollander, for reasons even more unclear, decide that Prince Shane Hollander needs a security officer. Enter Ilya Rozanov - 20 years old, dropped unceremoniously into the painfully boring town of McGill. Confused by the town’s dullness, the weight of its royals, and the absurdity of the role, Ilya still gets one thing absolutely right. He keeps a close watch on the prince.

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  3. “Where is my baby?” Ilya asks as soon as he opens the door to the Pikes’ SUV when it pulls into the parking lot of Christ Church Cathedral. 

    “Lovely to see you too, Rozanov,” Hayden says as he opens his car door. 

    “Hi, Hayden,” Shane says from behind Ilya. “Lovely to see you. Please ignore my husband.”

    Ilya can’t even be bothered to snark back at either of them, because today is his big day. 

    Well, mostly. It’s sort of Amber’s day, too, he guesses, and kind of Shane’s as well if one were to look at it from a very specific angle, but mostly it’s Ilya’s. 

    And as Amber gives him a cheesy grin when she sees him (a new development as of the last couple of weeks), Ilya knows even his boring husband and his boring husband’s loser best friend can’t ruin this perfect day.

    Because today, Ilya’s becoming a godfather.

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  4. The video leaks on a random Tuesday, halfway through Shane Hollander’s first season with the Ottawa Centaurs. After the relationship and subsequent marriage between infamous rivals and to-be Hall-of-Famers Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov was revealed at the end of the previous season, all eyes were on the Centaurs and their newlyweds. or A video from the Voyageurs locker room before Game 4 of Ottawa vs. Montreal leaks.

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  5. 5 times Ilya Rozanov told his Boston Teammates that he was hooking up with Shane Hollander and they didn't believe him, and 1 time they finally do.

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  6. “It’s Rozanov, they’re bringing on Rozanov,” he said in a rush.
    For a long moment, Shane couldn’t hear or process anything. The world had narrowed then expanded too fast, like he was falling. At some point Hayden started talking again, but he couldn’t understand him. There was only the darkness overhead and the ringing in his ears.
    “Shane? Shane, you still there?”
    The words filtered through slow and muddy, echoing. Shane’s mouth was dry, his tongue thick, but he managed, “Yeah. I’m here.”
    “Okay. You’re not gonna have a panic attack, right? Cause that would be bad probably, for your head I mean, and I just think—”
    Shane stopped listening again.
    Rozanov was coming to Montreal. He’d be in the same locker room, skating on the same ice, living in the same fucking city.

     

    Three years after Shane broke it off (not that there was anything to break off), he gets a concussion and the Metros bring in Ilya to fill in for him. A breakup and makeup fic inspired by Jane Austen's Persuasion.

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  7. “I need to talk to you.” Ilya pretends to peer around, exaggerated, chin jutting, then points at himself. “Me?" “Who the fuck else, Ilya?” Shane hisses Ilya’s name, sees his pupils dilate. “Go to the bathroom. I’ll meet you there in five.” Ilya looks dazed, then shakes his hair out of his face and rights himself, reaches for another shot. “You do not tell me what to do, Hollander.” Shane is going to kill him. Or, Shane and Ilya, at the club, post-game. Ilya has let Boston’s victory get to his head and Shane brings him back down to earth.

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  8. Shane’s cheeks burned red and he turned away from him, “sorry that I'm so boring all the time,” “Mmh, not all the time,” Ilya smiled deviously, “sometimes you are very fun,” The shorter raised an eyebrow at him, “yeah? And what are those times?” “When we fuck,”

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  9. Cliff Marlow has been on Boston’s team with Ilya Rozanov for the last seven years. Last week, he figured out the Shane Hollander thing. *** Now with a 2nd Chapter of Shane's *slightly* more serious POV***

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  10. Ilya steals Shane’s shirt and they are both obviously super casual and chill about it.

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  11. Shane’s an Omega in denial. Ilya’s the Alpha who can make him admit his want. One tough game later, the truth comes out as Shane finally gives into his inner desires. or Ilya is just a little shit with ridiculously good looks

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  12. five times shane and ilya's friends have questions about gay sex -- and one time they wish they knew less. OR the Centaurs are a wonderful team. accepting. kind. curious. it's that last one that has Shane wondering if he’d rather be back in montreal, hiding in the closet, than here, making up for the failures of the Canadian sexual education system.

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    AO3:
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  13. “Watch yourself, Rozanov,” he says in Russian, voice low and dark, and oh, holy shit, Ilya should have known teaching Shane his native language would be the death of him.

    “I would rather watch you.”

    Shane moves off the stool he’s been sitting on with one fluid movement. “Not now.”

    “Later then?”

    Shane rolls his eyes. “Pervert.”

    “Not what you said an hour ago.”

    Ilya feels Shane’s foot bump into his, and their thighs brush just barely. But it’s still enough to make Ilya want to abandon all of this and drag Shane back upstairs. “Behave, Ilya,” he says, slipping back into Russian. “You know they can't know.” He turns. The look he throws him is a little too close not to affect him. “We both want it that way.”

    Oh. Right. That.

    ____

    Or Ilya and Shane attempt to hide their relationship at a charity gala. It goes about as well as one would expect.

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  14. “Hello, my name is Shane Hollander-” “And I am Ilya Rozanov.” “-and this is our WIRED autocomplete interview”

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  15. Shane: why do you keep licking guys during games? what’s wrong with you?

    Lily: aw hollander are you jealous?

    Ilya starts a habit of licking players on other teams during games, and Shane really doesn't appreciate it. But Ilya saves some licking just for him.

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  16. Language:
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